One day Jeff's disturbed from rest to find something very different about his boyfriend Adam; He's changed into a girl! Well, this isn't going to be easy on anyone, but Jeff (and esp Adam) have a particularly hard time dealing with it. Language, sex, gender-swapping, "het" (the closest thing to het I can muster, the only time I will ever write Jeff w/ a "girl", lol), some crack?, some angst, etc. It's AU naturally. Uh, non-wrestling. Jedam, Y2Jay. Cuz I want to.
Chapter one/ 'He Comes With Extras'
Rated; M/ L (gender-swapping)
"Jeff..?" Came the small stressed voice. It was Adam, of course, and Jeff had been laying in bed, trying to rest. "I think something's wrong with me."
"Hm," Jeff grumbled thoughtfully. "What is it, Adam?" He asked. His eyes were still closed but he could feel Adam's presence.
"My penis is gone."
Jeff's eyes shot open and he sat up. Well, this was cause for alarm. "Who took it?"
"Jeff, I'm serious!" Adam shouted.
"So am I. That fucker dies.." Jeff stopped when he looked over at Adam and he flinched back almost violently.
Adam had always been kind of feminine. But now kind of was this huge understatement. Somehow his face had gotten more narrow, his features softer and delicate, his lips poutier and he was currently biting the hell out of the bottom one in distress. Adam's hands were locked in front of him and he was fidgeting and doing this little nervous swaying with his hips like he couldn't keep still. His hips themselves had gotten slimmer and curved and- oh, fuck.. oh, my god, were those boobs? At first Jeff thought Adam had been joking.. but Adam was indeed a girl!
"What the fuck..?" Jeff muttered.
"I know!" Adam stomped his foot. "I woke up like this! I passed out on the couch as a guy and woke up having to pee and when I went to the bathroom and I was a little groggy.. and oh, I made such a mess on the floor!" Adam explained, tugging at his long blond hair.
"Oh, god.. um.. uh.. I.." Jeff really didn't have anything and was just spewing off pointless mumbling. He'd swear it was a joke if he didn't see it.. the.. right there in front of his.. It was strange and he briefly wondered if he had been drugged.
"Jeffy.." Adam pouted.
"I'm.. I don't know what to do.. uh, say.. um.." Jeff swallowed. "You're a girl."
Adam gave him a look like 'duh, asshole'. "Yes. I told you that!"
"You're a hott girl at least.." Jeff's eyes widened. "Still hott.. um.. oh, god.. What the fuck?" He suppressed that fucking whine of frustration.
Adam crawled in bed beside Jeff and clung to him. "Please, hold me. I'm scared. Do something."
Jeff froze in place and went rigid in Adam's arms. He didn't know what to do and was afraid to even move right now. But timidly he put one around around his, uh, boyfriend and patted his back. "I don't really, uh... Call Jay?"
Adam was a dramatic mess. At first he just sat there and bounced nervously in the chair, biting the shit out of his nails as they waited for Jay and made little distress noises that Jeff did his damnedest to keep from chuckling at. Girl or not, he was still Adam and watching him worry was amusing.
Of course they had to call Jay. Jeff suggested it and a few seconds later Adam demanded it when Jeff didn't speed dial fast enough. And Jay showed up 30 minutes later... ugh, with Chris. Great.
Jay just kindly stared at Adam for a few minutes, mouth open and not really knowing what to say. "You're... a girl..?" He scratched his head, confusion all over his face.
"And.." Jay squeaked and then cleared his throat. "And you're sure?"
"Jay!" Adam screeched and Jeff winced. Jay was unfazed and shot Adam a warning glare. "I'm sure." Adam huffed and crossed his arms. "I have boobs and everything."
"Everything-everything?" Jay asked and Jeff rolled his eyes.
Adam visibly twitched. "Yes! Everything! Don't make me say it."
"Can we see it?" Jay asked.
Adam slapped Chris's hand for the tenth time. Chris giggled stupidly and went to touch Adam's hair again (which was better and made Jeff less agitated than when he tried for the boobs)
"He's like purdier... I didn't think it was possible!" Chris said gleefully, 'owwing' when he got smacked again. "Can we keep him? Ooh, I wanna fix his hair and do his makeup.. well, I can't do makeup.. I'll call Trish and she can do his makeup! This is perfect!" He was literally vibrating with excitement.
"Chris, shut up." Jay warned.
"No. No, you may not see it. Pervert." Adam replied, answering Jay's previous interrupted question. "It's not even mine! I don't have a right to show it." Adam really felt he had no right to touch or even have it. It was weird and squishy and he felt funny when he walked.. and empty.. so incredibly empty. Adam wrapped his arms around himself and whimpered. "Jay, can you help me?"
Jay shrugged. He felt just as helpless as Jeff or Adam himself. "How? I'm not a witch doctor. I can't do magic. I'm not a doctor at all."
Adam stomped his foot and whined. "You're no help!" And he collapsed in the chair, covering his face and crying.
That's when Jeff made a move and sat down on the arm, pulling Adam close and petting on him. "It's okay, Adam. We'll figure something out. You have us and we love you."
"Then fix me!" Adam wailed, moving so quickly that Jeff nearly lost his balance. "Matt! I bet he did this! He's always hated me!"
"Matt doesn't hate you, Adam. Calm down." Jeff sighed, standing up and fixing his clothes.
"Would it help if we went out and got ice cream?" Jay asked and Chris's eyes lit up.
"Oh, please? Adam, quit crying and let's go get you ready!" And with that, he pulled Adam's hand and drug him up the stairs.
Adam had been wearing his usual lounge clothes. A sloppy t-shirt that was kind of too big for him now and a pair of shorts that sat so low on his girl hips right now and damn, Jeff felt like shit for noticing. It's not that he liked girls. He liked Adam and had been hinting for Adam to dress in drag a little bit more for him.. it was a harmless fantasy was all.
"Jay, I'm mentally cheating on my boyfriend.." Jeff said.
Jay opened his mouth and was about to call Jeff a bastard, but Jeff continued.
"With my new girlfriend apparently." Jeff sunk down into the chair Adam had been in and put his head in his hands. "I'm a dog. Oh, fuck, he's so hott.. but I can't.. with him.. he's not.. Oh, boy.. something is wrong with me."
Jay sympathetically patted Jeff's shoulder. "It's okay, Jeff. He's still very much Adam... just with some, uh.. extras.."
Adam sat on the bed as Chris raided his closet. He pushed through the wide arrange of clothes completely unsatisfied. Adam suggested the leather pants and tried them.. they were too big and Adam complained they didn't look right.
"I think I need to invade Jeff's closet." Chris concluded. Adam wasn't much smaller, but he was indeed smaller than he usually was.
Adam bit his lip and nibbled on it as he thought about it. "You're not gonna dress me like a slut, are you?"
"Honey, you dressed yourself like a slut more much so than I ever could in the older days."
He so had a point. Adam had dressed very flashy when he was in his twenties. Leather and thongs and see-through shirts and mesh and silk shirts.. but that was different.
Chris huffed impatiently and started going through Jeff's side of the closet. He found an extremely flamboyant pair of flare-leg jeans and tossed them to Adam. "Squeeze in these."
Adam held them up. "These won't fit me. They barely fit Jeff anymore."
"And I am gonna tell him you called him fat." Chris said, pointing and went back to the closet.
Adam pouted and pulled the jeans up... and zipped them. They were perfect.. and his ass in them.. wow.
Chris thought about going with one of Jeff's black tank tops and a black leather jacket to be subtle, but then he remembered Adam's boobs.
Adam looked up when he felt Chris staring at him. "What?"
"Remove your shirt." Chris said seriously.
Suddenly Adam felt uncomfortable and crossed his arms protectively over his chest. He didn't like how Chris was looking at him. "No."
Chris groaned in agitation and rolled his eyes. "Adam. Just do it. You have to figure out what we're doing about those damn bazookas you got on your chest.." Chris stopped as a brilliant thought occurred to him. "Hey, you guys have an ace bandage somewhere, right?"
Adam nodded and got the ace bandage.
"We're gonna wrap those puppies up until we can get you a bra." Chris said as he unraveled it. "You'll have to talk to Trish about that, I couldn't tell you about bras. Take off your shirt. C'mon, I'm not even a boob man."
"You're with Jay!" Adam reminded.
Chris started to speak, but closed his mouth for once and hummed. Yeah, Jay had some awesome boobs. But those boobs were completely different from chick boobs. "Just.. I'm not gonna grab them, I swear. I'm not that much of a dick and you'd scream and Jeff would be up here in two seconds and kill me. Trust me. I like my life."
Adam reluctantly lowered his arms, remembering he had his own knight in shining armor (or black tank top and baggy cargo pants rather) downstairs. He slowly removed his shirt and Chris sighed and looked politely away. Adam did not like his tits. They were fucking heavy and just felt like a burden on his chest. They were weird and just uncomfortable.
"Arms out to the side, let's wrap you up." Chris got to it, wrapping the large ace bandage around Adam's chest tightly but not too constrictive to hold his boobs up. He folded it under in the back to secure it. "There."
Adam felt like a mummy, but he felt better. The ace bandage acted like a sports bra and supported him well enough for now. Adam grabbed Jeff's comic book hero collage shirt and put it on when Chris opted something shinier.
"Adam, you're way too hott for that." He smirked.
"I'll be a hott nerdy chick." Adam said, pulling the shirt down. Besides, it smelled like Jeff and that was comforting.
"You were always that." Chris's laugh cut off as Adam slugged him on the arm.
After putting on his shoes and dealing with the fact that they were a little too big, but okay enough to wear, Adam let Chris talk him into eyeliner. Adam knew how to put on eyeliner just fine and growled at Chris's damn hovering. Jeff had taught him years ago and he still liked to wear it for Jeff. He wasn't doing eye shadow though. That and lipstick were more Jeff's things.
A few minutes later Chris nudged Adam downstairs. "I now present you... Adamlina!"
Adam blushed and slugged Chris again.
"Ow, you wench! Jay-Jay, Adamlina hit me!" And he sulked over to force Jay to pet him.
Adam swallowed as he looked at Jeff. Jeff had just stared at him with his mouth open and then Jeff looked down at the ground and held his hands in his lap, looking uncomfortable as hell. Oh, fuck. Jeff must be disgusted with him like this. Adam slouched and pulled his jacket on. "Let's go. I was promised ice cream." He said dejectedly.
All the rest of the day, Adam noticed that Jeff wouldn't look at him or much talk to him. Instead he'd just mutter about whatever he had to to him. "Adam, is the air bothering you?" ... "Adam, want sprinkles?" ... "Adam, are you going shopping after this?" ... "Adam, I... bathroom.." Normal little mundane couple/people talk.
Adam sat at the booth, slowly tonguing his ice cream cone. He glanced at Jeff out of the corner of his eye. Jeff was looking at him weird, not even touching his ice cream. Jeff then sighed and excused himself to the bathroom.
Chris gawked at Adam openly. Goofy grin plastered on his face. "I'll pay you a hundred bucks right now if you suck on it and make slutty moaning sounds."
Jay sighed and reached over to smack Chris. "Behave."
"Now, Jason.. you know me better than that." Chris said proudly.
"Why do I put up with you..? Ugh, you're making a mess!" Jay grimaced as Chris spilled ice cream on the table.
Chris grabbed a napkin and wiped it up. It wasn't the end of the world or anything, sheesh. "Because you've loved me forever and ever and always will."
Jay shook his head, but smiled. The scary thing was that the little shit was totally right.
Jeff stood in front of the mirror with his hands on the sink. He took a deep breath and turned the water on before splashing his face. 'Calm down, dammit. It's just Adam. It's okay to get worked up. It's still Adam. It will always be Adam and you love him no matter what. It doesn't matter. It's Adam. Perfectly normal to get turned on by watching your boyfriend lick an ice cream cone. You always do...'
But Jeff felt so bad about it this time. It was different. It wasn't the boobs or thought that Adam had a pussy.. it was how he looked and how he acted right now. How pretty he was. It was how wrong and dirty it felt. Like it was forbidden and like he shouldn't. And dammit, he felt guilty about that. Like he had betrayed Adam by lusting over... Adam?
It was really silly. This whole thing was bizarre. And he shouldn't feel like a mega-douche for wanting to kiss or fuck his lover. He had gotten so hard so quick watching those lips on that ice cream, that tongue digging down into it and scooping the precious frozen treat back into his mouth, swallowing. Jeff had before. Usually he'd laugh about it, whisper to Adam how it made him feel and Adam would giggle and smile and do it even more obscene than before. Now the throbbing in his pants felt like a cruel reminder that he was a sicko for wanting to take advantage of the person he loved most in this peculiar predicament.
Jeff had shook the cobwebs off a few minutes later and his problem had went down and when he was coming out an exasperated-looking waitress was cleaning up the floor and Jay was looking ready to kill Chris and Adam was looking down at the table in embarrassment. Yep, it was time to go.
It was supposed to be kindly silly and a one shot, but it took off & eh, I let it. Inspired by a MCR Frank/Gerard I read where everyone (except Frank) gets turned into girls. & eh, I've been wanting to introduce 'Adamlina' for awhile. The gender-swap episode of Futurama didn't help this year. (& if Jeff & Jay can always be written/portrayed as girls, so can Adam ;) So, heh) Also, this doesn't seem so strange to me. If I can write mpreg w/out flinching (and I can) I can write this. Yes, I wanted to spell girl "gurl". & no, Urban Dictionary, I'm not 14 or dyslexic. I'm a rebel :P (I wish I didn't look everything up so much)