Red. Red. Red.
That's all I could see.
Anger pulsed through me like a searing flame, the flame that fueled this cursed strength. It's the same routine. My fist clenches tightly, my heart beats rapidly and the anger shoots through me like a drug. My eyes glaze over and red is all I can see.
The red, its like a warning sign. Only I'm unable to heed the warnings I'm given. I see the red, and I know what's coming, I know I'm about to make a mistake, hurt someone innocent, make people cower away from me in fear, only feeding their beliefs of me being a monster.
But no, I don't blame them, because that's what I am. A monster.
I scream his name as the red enters my vision.
Warning, there it is again. Don't do it Shizuo...don't do it please...
That's what I hear, the whispers, the sighs.
Monster monster monster monster
I don't have to live like this I don't have to hurt him I don't-
and there I go again, not listening to my thoughts.
I'm oblivious to the pain I should be feeling as I pick up and object that's way to heavy for any regular human to pick up and throw it hard at my target.
He just grins and bounces away as it thankfully misses him.
I don't want to hurt him, god no. He's all I really have, I'm all that he has, we depend on each other despite the hate we feel, and we both knew it.
Behind all that hate, was the uncontrollable and overwhelming love we share. I never understood him.
I'm such a monster, and he knew it, but he's not afraid of me.
Is it because he knows that I don't wish to be this way?
The red...i wish it would go away, its the same red, blood, fiery red. The same color I imagine the angry fire that shoots through my veins to be.
Is it because he knows I don't want to hurt him? Is it because he knows I love him more than anything?
"Oh Shizu-chan~!" he taunts with a smirk, "'Gonna have to do better than that my love~"
That smirk, his eyes.
All so beautiful.
So why am I still angry?
Why wont the red go away?
I want to look at Izaya with love in my eyes, not anger and hate. Can he see through the veil of red? I'm sure he can, he's always been able to see through everything.
I must be transparent to him.
Please...I just want to love you. I stop and the red fades for a moment. Izaya notices this and turns, a worried look crossing his face as he lowers his blade, "Shizu-chan?" he says quietly. I have him cornered now in a damp alleyway, the only light is the moonlight which illuminates Izaya's perfect features beautifully. I stare at him blankly and just look him over, wanting to cherish this moment. The red is gone, and I feel calm. I want to feel this for as long as I can, I want to drag it out and always be able to view Izaya like this.
He's looking up at me with concern in his ruby colored orbs that are shining like the stars above us in the dim lighting. "Shizu...chan?" he repeats and moves closer to me, his hand reaching out to poke my chest lightly.
I love you.
That's what I want to say.
But the red wont let me. It holds me back, its like it cages the real me and only lets the monster show through. I want to be gentle, I want to be loving.
I don't want to be a monster.
Izaya raises an eyebrow, "You what Shizu-chan?"
I stare down at his pink lips that look so soft and wonder what would he would do if I pressed mine to them softly.
We knew we needed and loved each other, but neither of us had known how to express it.
Well, actions speak louder than words don't they?
My hands fall on his tiny shoulders and I pull him closer to me, leaning my head down.
He makes a small sound of surprise when I close the space between us, my lips pressing against his softly as the taste of caffeine and nicotine mingle together. To my surprise he kisses me back lightly and locks his arms around my neck and presses closer to me. My tongue instinctively licks across his bottom lip, he responds by parting his lips slightly.
Our tongues meet in a heated battle, the taste of him completely intoxicating to me and making my head spin. A sound builds in the back of my throat as I push him back hard against the brick wall. I feel him shudder as my hands roam over his body, one hand roaming over his torso, my other is locked around his waist as I press him to me possessively.
I was the one he needed, despite the fact that I was a monster, and for that I was grateful.
He moans quietly and looks up at me, his red eyes clouded with lust, his cheeks tinged red. He looks at me for a second with that look thats driving me crazy, but then his eyes close contentedly and he deepens the kiss even farther. I close my eyes as well, letting my mouth do all the work.
This was possibly the best kiss I had ever had.
I hadn't kissed many people. After all, who would want to kiss a monster?
After another moment we pull away, the need for oxygen tugging at our lungs. We pull away, both of us panting. The lust fades from his eyes slightly and he looks at me questioningly, his arms still wrapped around my neck firmly.
"S-shizu-chan?" he says again.
That's it, right there.
That beating in my heart, I can't quite place it because it feels so foreign to me.
I'm not sure if I've ever felt love before I met Izaya.
I look down at him and see that he's flashing something that resembles a smile, and I can't help but return it.
The way he was looking at me, I could feel it. He was looking right through me, he saw through the monster.
He saw the real me inside, behind the monster, past the red, and he saw me.
And he loved me, flaws and all.
OK, this was based off of the song The Red by Chevelle, but I don't like the way it ended.
:/ sorry this is so random
reviews are very appreciated!~!
Love to all~!