A/N~ I am ducking like no one ever has before….It has been FOREVER, I know. I have been working a lot and chasing a three year old around. I have found not having more than two days off in a row gives me no time to pour my imagination into my computer and edit it in enough time to get it out to you guys. So I am doing this each day off I am able to. Bad news first…Push and Pull is on hiatus. I have decided to tweak it and try and get it published. Because of this I have decided to not conclude Wise Girls. I hope that makes you guys happy. I think this particular story could go farther than it has so, get ready for more antics, drama and lemony goodness. So since it's been awhile, I am writing that into this chapter. I hope you guys are pleased…..
The air was crisp, the strong and arousing smells of burnt cedar and crackling singed leaves wafted all around me. The strong odors in the air would be welcoming and comforting memories to anyone else, possibly taking them back to a childhood filled with camping and miscellaneous adventures. Those same smells remind me of a nightmare I lived with many others in this same spot. They remind me of a time I was at my most vulnerable, a time where I had to find strength so buried deep within, I wasn't sure I could bring it out from my depths below.
I kicked an acorn that remained still at my feet.
With an overwhelming need to cleanse my insides I sucked in a sharp breath and allowed it to encircle my lungs, I held it tight and released it back into the forest air.
I promised Edward I would never to return to this place again, as did Rose and Alice. It was a surreal day when we made those promises; it was the day after we buried our father. I wanted to destroy the hate that remained here, as did my sisters, but how to do that left us perplexed. In true Cullen fashion though, the boys made it right.
Our guys got in touch with all the patriarchs in the surrounding families that were affected by these monsters and insisted in their help to destroy the decrepit mansion in which I now face. I stare at what is left from that day after axes were brought, many sledgehammers and a few bull dozers. It was difficult; none of the other women came. It simply was too much for them, and the fact was many were captive for weeks, where as me and my sisters it was only a few days. The guys sat us down sometime later at our request and briefly discussed the few awful things they were made aware of in each girl's independent torture. It was beyond nauseating. Those reasons alone were enough for me to understand why the many woman couldn't face coming back here.
It's been months since my world was torn upside down, sideways and frankly even a little backwards. Lita was getting big as a house and Riley jumped at every kick, quiver even belch ready to head to the hospital. Needless to say he was annoying the shit out of a very pregnant woman. She only had a week or so to go but was at her wits end with my frantic brother.
Lita was farther along than her Doctors originally thought, so she and Riley decided to put the wedding off until after the baby was born. This couldn't have pleased her more, she really did want something small and with my father gone, the last thing any of us could do was plant a fake smile in preparation for a wedding. Lita knew this and was happy to postpone.
The slamming shut of a car door, a ways in the distance brought me to the here and now, and truth be told made me jump a bit. This place still haunted me and kept me on edge.
I turned to see a baffled but understanding Jasper, leaning on his car door, watching me from across the old dirt road.
I didn't bother looking back at the rubble I stared at week after week, in my endless search of closure; in fact I knew I'd be looking at it again. I was no fool it may be psychological torture or even a view from a masochists eyes, but this dilemma was mine and mine alone to bare, I just couldn't let it go.
I walked briskly and with purpose toward an awaiting and patient, Jasper. He made no movement or even allowed a disgruntled look to cross his face. He simply smirked and stated plainly, "I really, really, didn't want to find you here, Bells."
I shrugged and rubbed my now chilled arms, "What can I say. I'm a glutton for punishment."
Jasper snickered and opened his car door, reaching in for his jacket draping it around my tiny frame. "That you are darlin', that you are. Though I might add Edward's imagination wouldn't have been able to reach this twisted depth."
"Please, Jazz….this is my thing, my thing to figure out. Please don't burden him with this, by spilling my secret."
"I wouldn't dream of spilling your secret little Bella, though if I may offer some advice?"
I gave him a weary nod.
"You may want to re-think your ways of needing to find closure."
"Because..?" I asked now intrigued with his ironic sense of advice.
"Because soon-to-be sister in law, my brothers theories for your mental and sometimes physical absence are that of a man, not a triplet who warns her better half on where her sister may be running off to, time and time again." His words and look of dread told me Edward had only one way to think and that was I was seeking comfort in another man.
"That's ridiculous and you know it."
"Yes, sweetie and Em- and I have tried to convince him of that, time and time again, but you are not helping our cause by not letting your better half, in." He finished with a gentle tap to his temple.
I took another deep breath but I didn't reply. I knew Jasper was right. The fact was I had grown distant with Edward, and his reaction was patience and affection.
"Come on, your needed at the hospital, your brother is a wreck."
"Hospital? Is Lita having the baby?"
"No" Jasper chuckled "Riley thought she was though, and ran to get the car going and tripped over the baby bouncer he was putting together and cracked his head on the corner of the dining room table. He just needs a few stitches."
"Why am I needed then?"
"Cause I think Lita is going to kill him, for racking up hospital bills that have nothing to do with her. Come now, get in your car, and let's get going."
I kissed Jazz on the cheek and jumped in my Mercedes, I accelerated away from the rubble, but not before looking in my rear view and seeing Jasper take a long look at it as well.
Huge pieces of who we used to be started and remained back at that spot. While Jasper and Ally were content in their present happiness, he knew a sacred, untouched part of her remained there as well.
I skirted my luxurious automobile throughout downtown easily, taking corners as if they were tired' and on a go-cart track, with little to no care. I chuckled as a black and white pulled up behind me suddenly and flashed there lights alerting me the need to pull over, and no sooner did the lights alert me they also turned off and the police slow down and turn on the next street.
I shook my head knowing in the fraction of a moment of exhilaration to write a ticket or add to a quota, the rookies didn't think to run my plates before they made sure I knew they were there. My name popping up on their DMV search, halted their pursuit and had them cringing, not wanting to pull over a Mancini.
I sighed, "Ugh Classic."
I pulled up to the Emergency entrance, followed by Jasper and parked in the first empty space, next to the endless row of expensive cars, all owned by none other than my family extended and otherwise.
None other than Jacob opened my driver's door and gave me his hand to help me out.
"Hey, Jake. Do I want to go in there?"
"Depends who are you worried about facing? Lita, Riley or Edward?" he said with a chuckle.
"What is with everyone and worries about Edward. "Were fine Jacob."
"Sure, sure. I see you haven't returned to reality to notice."
I rolled my eyes at him and gave him a playful smack on his ridiculously large bicep.
I knew I had to make this right, but I was determined that we were okay and that everyone was over reacting. He seemed fine with me.
I walked in through the rolling emergency doors just in time, to see a very pregnant and wobbling Lita throw up her hands just as I gave her my most sorrowful expression. One by one each person came through admitting bitching, wining and clearly aggravated followed by the biggest baby of them all, my brother.
"I see. No hospital stay needed than? Did I miss anything good?"
"No biatch, other than me wanting to strangle the idiot and begging for someone to get me home so I can put up my feet and rest my poor back." Lita ranted and kissed my cheek with the finality that she wasn't stopping to explain she was headed for the nearest car.
Rose smacked my ass while Ally followed it with a pinch, both heading out as well.
"Hey did anyone take care of the bill, if not I'll get it."
"No worries Bell's, Edward is taking care of it, call me later" and with only a wave in the air Ally retreated into Jaspers cool embrace.
I huffed torn between missing the fun and then again, thanking god I missed the fun. I was spun around and put in an enormous but gentle choke hold, and then lift off my feet arms pressed immobile to my side, for an overbearing Emmett to smack a huge lip lock on me, only to set me down and smack my ass, hard.
Then he too, left with a "See ya, Bells."
"Well, okay than." I said attempting to gather myself and find Edward.
I didn't have to go far, at the front desk there stood the finest man to this day I still have ever set eyes on. Leaning casually on it, while the nurse ogled him relentlessly, Edward counted out several hundred dollar bills and then handed them to her.
I slid up next to him, and was greeted with a brief smile that didn't reach his depth, not like it used too. "Hi there. You okay?" was all he said followed by a small, chaste kiss to the forehead, before bringing his attention back to the nurse who asked for his signature on some paperwork.
"Ugh I'm good, sorry I'm late, I..ugh…well I was…"
"Its fine love, I'm used to it."
"You headed back out again?" he asked struggling to seem nonchalant.
"No, I was wondering what your plans were?" I retorted, trying to find my footing and livid with myself for not noticing, until now, how much he was pretending with me, because of me.
"Oh." his only reply.
I followed him back out to the parking lot, we weren't close in proximity and we both didn't know what to say. It was so wrong. It wasn't us at all, and in that moment, it hurt. This was my doing. I was losing us and didn't even know that it was happening.
"Jesus Christ, what am I doing?" I blurted not realizing how my outburst may have sounded to Edward.
He stopped dead in his tracks and feigned a look like a smacked the manhood out of him.
Before I could explain myself, he interrupted me with a reckless and dire need to respond and say something before I spoke again.
"Uhm…I was gonna go to..ugh…to the bar, but do you want me to…you know, to bring you home?"
I was shattered, in that moment I was so angry with myself I could've locked myself in a dungeon and thrown away the key. He stood there; mesmerizingly beautiful, tired and stumbling out a hope-filled plea for me not to say what I could see in his eyes he feared I would say.
I was trapped. Standing there, silent and mental thoughts all jumbled. All I managed to get out, while pointing, was a pathetic "Um I have my car, Edwa- Whoa where is my car?!"
I knew if I looked behind me as I ran to the spot I knew I parked in, was the sight of a defeated looking Edward.
When I finally did whip around with a terror filled and confused look, Edward wasn't there, I saw him then standing a few cars down reading out loud a note from Emmett, left on his car, alerting Edward that he had taking mine.
"Lita?" I asked after a few calming breaths.
Edward shrugged with his version of you should know better.
Lita needed to stretch out and fact is, Emmett loved my car, a present from Edward on my last birthday, which wasn't long after my father's funeral. In fact we all got cars from the guys. Ally a Porsche convertible and Rose a supped up suburban. Hence, why Lita wanted the room to stretch out.
Not that it mattered, Emmett would use any excuse to jack my car.
Edward waited patiently at his car, with the passenger door open.
I walked over and tried to give him my most sincere and long over-do smile, a smile that used to tell him everything.
He studied me for a moment, somewhat surprised. But was knocked back into doubt when the loud honk of a horn, from an awaiting car reminded him to shut the door and get me home.
I sighed and pouted before he got in the front seat, loving and missing the look that clearly said "Baby, is that you?"
After a silent and what seemed like endless drive home, we finally pulled up in our driveway. "I'll be in, in a minute." Edward said staring at our garage door in front of the now parked car.
"Okay." I said softly and got out of the car and made my way into the house.
I was shutting the front curtains, hoping if we were about to have an argument the neighbors wouldn't ease drop, when I caught Edward, in the driveway, slamming his fists on the steering wheel and lowering his forehead to them, in defeat.
He looked so broken and right then I was determined to show him the Bella he fell in love with as soon as he walked in our home.
A few moments later, the front door opened and closed, just as I was downing my first glass of wine. I heard him take a huge in-take of breath and then continue a few more steps into our kitchen to confront me.
"He tossed his keys onto the countertop with a loud jingle gripped the edge and bowed his head."
"I swore to you and your father I would always take care of you, that is something I promised and till the day I die I will never do anything but just that Bella."
I watched stunned as he stopped there, but continued to stare at the floor. Until he spoke again…
"But….Bella if you don't tell me his name and where he lives right now, I think I may consider smacking the sense back into you."
"Edwar-.." I tried in vain to get out as I walked toward him.
"No Bella Marie, I love you so much it hurts, but if you come near me and attempt to get me to shut up with a lousy attempt in bedding me like you used to I think I am going to lose all self control.
"Like I used too?" I questioned confused completely halted in my tracks. I have been in serious denial and I was about to be smacked right out of it.
"You haven't been my Bella, in months; you haven't touched me the same way since then. Your laughter is gone, your spirit is gone, You're Gone! Clearly I know you better then you, that hasn't occurred to you by now? Don't you think if I had someone else on my mind, you would feel it in how I haphazardly attempted sex in our bedroom?"
The pained that seared through my body was excruciating. I did not occur to me how much I pushed him away, how much I avoided any sense of closeness in order to not have to open up with all that I was trying to figure out. And all this did was make him think I was seeing another man.
"Jesus, I really fucked this up, and shockingly I didn't even realize I was doing it, never mind how I let it get this far." I looked up into Edward's eyes and was thankful he didn't have any more pain to throw my way. There was only one way to show him I was me again.
I continued toward him, kept my hands up in silent reserve for him to try and find a way to trust me again. I only needed a moment.
He didn't move forward but he didn't back away either.
"Edward, I would never let another man touch me, I would never look at anyone they way that I should have been looking at you these last few months. The way I used to. I'm sorry, I lost me, Edward. I lost me." I finished just as I was an inch from his lips, and as softly and gently as I could I slowly kissed him, not intrusively, not wanton or erotic, just a sweet kiss. I caressed his face with one hand and placed my other over his heart.
Just when I felt it, I felt him again, I felt us. He slowly pulled me away from him and looked at me fiercely. I waited for it; I waited for the proverbial slap in the face and the get out of my life. I waited for the look.
The thought of seeing it, any of it, almost crippled me and my tears began to well up. And if Edward needed or wanted to see any life in me, he would see it right then.
His thumb wiping away my first tear and the crush of his lips back on mine sent the waterfall's collapse. I could barely get out the weepy "I'm sorry's" before I was shushed and picked up childlike and walked to our living room, where Edward slumped us onto the couch clutching me into his chest while rocking me back and forth.
I began to sob uncontrollably as I felt his tears streak my face while he kissed my hair.
We sat like that for the longest time. Before I began to gather myself and really became in need of a tissue.
I felt Edward lean and reach for a tissue on the side table; I sat up and took it from him, blowing my nose in a very un-ladylike way.
"Just breathe baby, just breathe" Edward chanted as my breathing became ragged in my haste to calm down and explain myself.
I took a couple deep ragged breaths and wiped my nose again.
"No Edward, no one else, EVER. I…I….I've been sneaking off to the woods, frequently, back…..there." I said my body beginning to shake, racked with the reality that I've turned my back on him, on us. I finally was awake so to speak.
Edward brushed the few strands of hair that were in my eyes, searching my face for clarity in what I just said. "The woods baby? There..? ….." and then realization hit him. "Oh …THERE! Jesus Baby, I thought…..fuck. Why? Why would you be sneaking off to go there?"
"I don't know, it just…..it calls to me….I can't….I mean… I know it sounds….urgghh I don't know, it's completely fucked up and weird. Huh?" I said followed by a hiccup.
"Weird… maybe. Fucked up, definitely! Normal….I don't know baby, who's to say."
I took another much needed cleansing breath, extremely thankful he didn't think I was completely nuts.
Edward caressed my face with both his hands and pulled me in close to kiss my lips again. I tried to sustain the impending hiccup, but it didn't work. My sweet welcomed moan ended up sounding like a deranged chicken, making Edward chuckle and me giggle.
"God, I missed that sound." Edward whispered on my lips pulling me again to deepen the kiss, and the kiss was definitely deep. I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly as he turned me from his lap, dipping me and reminding me what I've missed.
My hiccups forgotten, my insides revived and the wetness pooling down below, yeah the man still could render my body to do everything he wanted it too.
"Before, I get any erotic ideas…" Edward began to mumble in between succulent kisses along my throat. "I think we should go see the fam- they've been missing you too."
"hmmm?" I responded incoherently, but in hopes a response to him taking me to the bedroom.
I knew that wasn't what he suggested when his attack on my neck ceased.
Edward chuckled, "What did I just ask you?"
I bit my lip and tried not to look sheepish, but told the truth anyway. "That you..ugh..wanted us to go to bed. Right?" I nodded in response to myself and then sighed and shook my head no. "That's not what you said was it?"
Edward burst into a loud laughter. "No angel, I didn't, but I love that is all that is on your mind in this moment. It's been awhile since I've seen you dazed by me, its kind of making me forget where I was going with my next thought." And then his lips were on me again and I was surrendering. In one swift move I was underneath him and we were heavily making out and pawing at each other.
In a much needed gulp of air, I happened to look up and couldn't help but giggle.
Edward's head shot up from my boobs, hair a complete mess from me gripping it wondering what sent me into a fit of giggles.
"The window, our front window is completely fogged up!" I said pointing for him to look
"Well hell, I don't think the small space in a car could handle us, this moment is so hot we fog up a fucking living room." He said chuckling grabbing my face and stopping a giggle by sliding his tongue sensually in my mouth captivating it.
All the incredible sensations in my body were on overload, especially when he pushed my legs farther apart and I felt his entire body gyrate into me.
I was completely okay with making out and hell even dry humping, until his cell phone rang and reminded me we weren't the only people on the planet right now. Edward groaned but reached for it not willing to stop our kissing, until the last second when he had to say, "Hello"
Then it was my turn to attack his neck….his throat….his available ear, granting me a grunt and a moan from him, and the soft caress to the back of my head, telling me not to stop.
"Yeah, ugh hello?" he repeated remembering there was someone on the line.
"Not a good time Emmett, Not a good time at all!" That was all I let him respond with before I attacked his lips and granted him some serious tongue action.
He rewarded me with dropping the phone and moaning into our kiss.
Emmett's small, but effectively worried voice could weakly be heard by us. "Dude Ed..are you crying, all hell, damn it. Get Bella in the car and get over here or we are coming there! I'll talk some sense into her!"
A moment later the phone was tossed to the other side of the room and Edward and I's rolling around on the couch, ceremoniously caused us to crash to the floor, neither of us complaining.
Minutes or maybe even hours later we found ourselves rolling around our bed, candles were lit, Sade was playing over the bedroom surround sound and clothes were thrown and tossed everywhere. I couldn't catch my breath, I simply couldn't catch it. I touched him everywhere. I stroked each chiseled muscle in his arms and along his back as he clutched me close to his chest as I sat straddling him.
Our soft white sheet was all that draped around my waist and his legs as he so very slowly slid deep inside me. "My goodddddd" I panted out as Edward groaned deeply pulling out of me and sinking back in again.
"Jesus, I missed you." He breathed in a whispered declaration into my mouth, then deepening the kiss and devouring me.
I hugged him tighter, whimpering into the kiss, while riding him slowly, passionately and pouring everything I had into making love to him in that moment.
Our breathing was ragged, and the intenseness of our moment grew to high levels, I tightened all around him as I slid up and down relishing in Edwards glorious fill of me, wanting nothing more than for this to last all night.
I could feel Edward claw and grip my ass as I came down on him harder and harder. "Fuck…..ungh…." was all the response I needed to go a little faster.
We were so caught up in the moment, neither one of us heard our obnoxious siblings groan, thinking I was gone and Edward was in the bedroom sobbing listening to Sade.
We didn't even budge or stop as one…then two….then all four stumbled through our bedroom door, falling to the floor.
It could've been the obvious sight before them, that got them stumbling to their feet. Or it could've been Edward's lips latching onto my nipple and kneading my breast vigorously causing an incredibly loud moan to erupt from my throat, that sent them apologizing, giggling and scurrying from the vicinity.
I didn't know and frankly I couldn't have cared less.
Just as the front door closed and they were gone, I began to cry out and Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and pumped into me vigorously. I gathered all the wits I could muster and whispered a sweet and simple "I love you baby" onto Edwards lips. He whimpered and shuddered beneath me, slamming me down powerfully causing me to explode all around him. Edward gasped and cried out my name, like a prayer on the wind.
It was my turn to wipe the tears from Edwards's eyes, and I kissed him gently and softly.
He pulled away, stroking my face….."I know baby, I know. I love you too."
A/N~ whoa, still ducking…is it safe to come out yet? Let me know if it is…..Love you all!
I am going to edit this as best I can since its late and I wanna get it out to you guys cause you deserve it, so be kind.