A/N: Christmas is coming up, meaning I actually have time to write. Thus, another chapter.

Disclaimer: I have nothing but homework. And a couple tests that I really need to study for. Meaning, I don't own the Teen Titans.

Summary: "Beast Boy has lost his tail. No, really."


Beast Boy's Crazy Journal of Wacky Events

Entry #4: A Lost Tail

Hey. It's been awhile. Uh... how ya doing?

You know how sometimes you make a decision and you don't realize it's wrong until it's too late? That happened to me three weeks ago, and now my rear end still kinda hurts… more on that later.

It was supposed to be a normal mission, just Cinderblock ravaging the city and causing chaos all around—you know, an average, regular, every-day kind of day.

And it was supposed to be really easy; get in, beat 'em up, give 'em to the police, get congratulated and admired and stuff, and then leave.

Except I kinda made a mistake… and it went wrong… and I lost my tail.

Cyborg keeps cracking up now when I say that. Raven, please send him out the window.

Yes, I am allowed to say that, Cyborg.

Okay, so I suppose you're wondering how exactly something like that happened…

Lemme back it up a bit first, so you can see how I totally defeated Cyborg in our latest game. We—okay, Cy, but I helped—got it even before it was released, 'cause we have 'connections' and stuff. It's awesome being a Titan.

"Another power booster!" Beast Boy cheered, pumping a triumphant fist in the air. His eyes were glued to the screen as he sent his chittering monkey character flying past a tropical palm tree and land on the bright, sandy ground. At the top of the TV screen, POWER went up by 500.

"I've more than ya, B!" Cyborg retorted, fingers flying on the controller as he swiped an entire row of bananas hanging on the trees. Quickly, he dropped them into his basket hanging below and threw some explosives at Beast Boy. "Boo-yah!"

The green-tinted monkey screeched and leaped out of the way, grabbing onto a branch hanging just above him. "Ah!" shouted Beast Boy as a large, ferocious looking shark with dark, malicious eyes reared up, but soon fell back into the water again as the explosives propelled their way into the water. Gray smoke poured out a second later.

Raven here. This entry is supposed to be about his tail, not his video game skills—no, Beast Boy, that was not a compliment—so I'll just say this:

They continued meaninglessly battling each other for an indefinite period of time, blah blah blah, finding 'power-ups' and bright yellow tropical fruits and throwing weapons at each other and eventually Cyborg won and did his victory dance and Beast Boy pouted—

Yes you did. I was right there, remember?

and demanded a rematch and et cetera; now can we skip to the part where Robin comes in and the alarm sounds?

Fine, Raven, gimme back my journal. You're no fun.

Beast Boy and Cyborg were on their fifth round when the Boy Wonder arrived, refreshed after a morning in the gym.

"Hey, guys," he greeted them. Not even bothering to turn around, both Cyborg and Beast Boy muttered a quick, "Hi." Then, without missing a beat, Beast Boy crowed, "Yes! Another one!"

Robin glanced at them blankly.

"Um… so which new game is it this time?" he asked, attempting to make sense of the bursts of colours on the screen.

Without warning, the alarm sounded. It was loud and sharp, and made Robin jump into action. "Titans, trouble!"

"Wait, wait," Beast Boy muttered, eyes fixed unwaveringly on the screen. "I'm almost done this. Just gimme another half-second—"

Robin sighed, ran over and pulled the plug for the GameStation. The screen went blank, and both of the players were left mashing buttons together to no avail. "Robin! Why'd you do that?" Beast Boy wailed.

"Come on," he replied grimly. "There's trouble." He pulled the two half-heartedly protesting Titans out of the Tower. Once the GameStation was out of sight, it was out of mind, too, and the seasoned Titans leapt to their respective modes of transportation—Robin to the R-Cycle, Cyborg to his T-Car, and Beast Boy to the air as a green falcon.

Just before the R-Cycle zoomed off, Robin shouted at them, "Downtown!" and pulled out his communicator, where a red dot was blinking on a map. Beast Boy and Cyborg nodded, and all three left in a blur of speed.

It was only when they were halfway there did Beast Boy remember that two Titans were not present. Were Raven and Starfire somewhere else? She had left quietly sometime before Robin had arrived, but he had no idea where. What if they were still in the Tower? No, they would've heard the alarm, too. Maybe they—

His thoughts were quickly cut off as he saw smoke rising from a tall building below. They had arrived.

Banking sharply and plummeting straight down as only a falcon could, Beast Boy morphed into a cheetah just before impact and landed softly. He glanced around. The R-Cycle and T-Car skidded to a halt next to him, and in unison both of the vehicles' occupants jumped off. The trio backed against one another, glancing up at the smoking building and the fleeing pedestrians all around them.

Moments later a dark corvine silhouette appeared behind them, and Raven materialized. Starfire appeared as well, and after a quick and regretful glance, threw the two bulging shopping bags to the side. Both girls came up to Robin, Starfire lighting up her bolts in her hand.

Oh. So they had been shopping. I wonder what happened to the bags—we never went to retrieve them.

"In the building?" Raven asked, glancing up. The building stretched to the sky, so high it made Raven's hood fall down as she craned her neck to see the top.

"Yes," Robin replied, shaken out of his trance-like state. "We'll need to send someone in to scout and maybe break down the door for the rest of us. If we all go in at once from the outside, it'll alert the enemy." He glanced at the changeling. "Beast Boy, you up for it?"

The shapeshifter nodded determinedly, and ran in the direction of the building, hugging the shadows. As he got closer, he saw the only entrance was the small crack beneath the door. He'd have to pick something both small and light, yet still able to move undetected and quickly.

Taking a deep breath and forming an image of his chosen animal in his mind, he morphed.

Seconds later, the rest of the Titans watched as a gray, cement-coloured lizard disappeared into the hole. Together, they crept closer, waiting for Beast Boy to discover what was inside.

But instead of the BOOM! they were expecting and the crash of the door, an unexpected event transpired.

There was the sound of a scuffle. A chase. A scream.

A human scream.

Beast Boy's scream.

Hey, Rae—okay, fine, Raven—pass me that bottle of Coke back there, will ya? Writing all this has made me thirsty. No, not that dark one, the light-coloured bottle. Hey, it's not sticky. Don't insult my cleaniness. Use your psychic powers if ya got to.

Mmm… Good. Now, if ya don't mind me asking, could you give me the bowl of popcorn as well? Uh… What am I supposed to say? Please and thank you?

No, not that bowl; I want the one in Cyborg's hands.

Oh, it has butter? Okay, then, give me the other bowl.

Now would you mind giving me that plate of chocolates over there?

I know you're not my personal servant, but writing this—have you ever tried it?—is actually really hard.

Hey, if you think it's so easy, why don't you write the rest of this? Here, take it.

As his shriek of pain and panic and ferocity echoed throughout the city, the Titans wasted no time in racing to the door. Raven was the first to go through, and she brought the door down, crashing heavily onto the dirty, dark ground. Clouds of dust rose from the earth after impact.

Blinded in the dark after the sunlight, the Titans struggled to see. However, they soon found they had no need for the sense of sight, as Beast Boy's painful cries revealed his location. The changeling was lying on his side near the wall, eyes closed, shaking, wimpering, writhing, moaning—

"What happened?" Robin asked, immediately racing over to the injured Titan. He checked the younger Titan thoroughly for any visible signs of damage, but there was nothing. His uniform was intact and in one piece, there were no cuts, bruises, or even scrapes, and even after a physical scan from Cyborg, there appeared to be nothing wrong.

But one look at Beast Boy's expression, and it was obvious the changeling was in agony. His eyes were darker than usual, and his mouth kept making small movements, as if he wanted to say something but couldn't summon the strength to form the words properly, and he kept shaking all over, wincing and cringing and turning.

The other Titans had no idea what was wrong.

Okay, fine, Raven, stop! You win, you're a better writer, it's not that hard, whatever you said before. But you don't need that much description on how I looked when it happened. You could just say "Beast Boy was in really bad shape and didn't look so good." Leave the rest to the readers.

I know that for you what you wrote isn't considered much. But it is for me, and this is my journal, remember? I'll finish this entry, thanks.

As Beast Boy slowly returned to full consciousness and the other Titans waited anxiously, attempting to do all they could to help, he became aware of an odd throbbing in his rear end, where in some animals, a tail extended.

Then he turned around and saw an animated gray lizard tail flopping around on the ground, half squished.

"My tail!" Beast Boy yelped in alarm. He tried to get up and run (towards or away, he didn't know), but the soreness made him collapse again. Cyborg rushed over and helped him stand.

Futilely, he tried to reach wildly for his tail, but the distance was too great.

Starfire wandered over to it and picked it up. "This is… your tail, Beast Boy?"

"Yes!" he wailed, flailing. "Gimme!"

She inspected it curiously, turning the now-limp appendage over in her hands and peering closely. "It resembles the Alnokal we have on Tameran," she noted. "It tastes like the Earth honey mixed with peppers; it is considered a delicacy on my world."

Beast Boy sweatdropped, and muttered, "Well, don't eat my tail."

Cyborg had to restrain a laugh at that one. Beast Boy was always funniest when he didn't try.

At this point Robin remembered something vital. "Beast Boy! The enemy—who was it?" Unconsciously, he dropped into a fighting stance, ready to take on whatever enemy was hidden in the shadows.

"Who was it that stomped on your tail?" Cyborg muttered, looking at Beast Boy with a determined glint in his eye. "Whoever it was, he's gonna pay. Nobody stomps on BB's tail like that."

In answer, the changeling pointed towards the far wall, where the building structure had fallen away. A hole was in the center of what used to be a wall, and it was just the height and width of the creature that had plowed through. It could've doubled as a silhouette.

"Cinderblock," Raven growled in annoyance.

"Will you be able to fight?" Robin asked in concern, dropping out of his stance now that the enemy had long escaped. Perhaps they needed to send him back to the Tower if he was incapable.

The changeling had to think for a moment. "It hurt a lot when it first dropped off—no," he corrected himself. "When it dropped off, it didn't hurt. But by then I had known it was Cinderblock, so I tried to turn into a T-Rex to fight him, except to be a T-Rex you need a tail…" He trailed off.

"But you didn't have one, and so the pain became too much that you had to revert to a tailless form, such as human," Robin finished, nodding with understanding.

"Yeah," Beast Boy nodded glumly. "It doesn't really hurt when I'm a human—only a little—but when I'm a tailed animal and I don't have a tail, I—" He stopped and shook his head. "So many of my best attacking morphs have a tail! It's like, essential!" He started to list them, counting them off on his fingers. "Tiger, T-Rex, eagle, crocodile, snake, monkey—" He was about to moan, "I'm practically useless in a battle now!" when Raven came up to him.

"Do you think I could heal it?" She stared into his eyes.

Beast Boy blinked in response. "If it was a broken tail, probably, but my tail actually dropped off. It's gone now. Unless you can make something out of thin air, I don't think so."

"I thought your powers healed you faster," Raven said.

He smiled sadly. "If I could regain all lost limbs good as new, wouldn't I be invincible or something?"

Raven sighed bitterly and walked away. "You do have some tailless morphs, right?" She finally looked back at him. "And you will eventually get your tail back."

"In a couple weeks, at least," he muttered. "For a couple weeks, I won't be able to fight well." Remembering Raven's first question, he answered, "Well, yeah, but they're not effective with Cinderblock," he replied. "Too small; too weak."

"We still have to go after him," Robin declared. "Beast Boy, stay back but keep alert so you don't get squished again."

Beast Boy muttered something sullenly as the others ran off.

That battle was horrible. We won, of course, but while the others were running around and attacking and defending, I could only sit on the side and watch. I'd yell out things like, "Cy, duck!" or "Star, look behind you!" but that's not as helpful as actually being there in T-Rex morph or tiger or something.

And even if I had a morph that didn't need a tail, my rear end was still throbbing. It wasn't enough for me to pass out, but more than enough to keep me from fighting.

And I still felt bad.

Over the days, it slowly got better. That first day, when I tried to turn into a T-Rex right after Cinderblock stepped on my tail (Cyborg eventually got him back for it with a triple-attack to the face), it hurt so much I had to automatically revert back to human.

A week later, going against Control Freak, I managed to hold it for a few minutes before I ran out of strength and returned to human form, out of breath. At least I managed to get some swipes in. The tail was starting to grow back. Surely but surely, it was longer.

Who knew I'd ever miss my tail?

The road to recovery wasn't all that good, though. Once, we fought the Hive Five, and they laughed at my tail. I won't tell you what they said, though; it's too embarrassing and insulting. We got them good for it, though; they won't be insulting my tail again!

Now I almost have my entire tail back, and I can go for an hour before the throbbing starts again. With animals like cats and dogs, it's not so bad, because there are such things as tailless canines and felines. But some other animals, whose tails are vital to their survival—lemme tell you, it hurts.

Raven says in a few days I'll be completely healed. Then those baddies better watch out.

Hopefully it wasn't too confusing or rushed... I haven't wrote TT for a while.

Thanks for reading. Reviews greatly appreciated.

Thanks to GreenandnavyblueRaven for reviewing the third chapter.

Next entry: Never Speak of This Again