Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or the movie "Mean Girls"
Summary: Hetalia/Mean Girls crossover.
Arthur is a hit with The Bad Touch Trio, the A-list boy clique at his new school, until he makes the mistake of falling for Alfred F. Jones, the ex-boyfriend of alpha Bad Touch Francis Bonnefoy.
"Okay Arthur, you have everything?"
"Yes Iain. May I leave now?"
"Don't act cocky with me! If you forget something for your first day, it's not going to be my problem."
I guess it's natural for your big brother/guardian to be worried about you on your first day of school…but you know this usually happens when the kid is five. I'm sixteen and until today I was home-schooled. Now I know what you're thinking. Home-schooled kids are freaks or weirdly religious or something…but my family is normal except for the fact that my parents died when I was young and now I live with my step brother from Scotland. Iain owned a small bakery in England where I have lived almost all my life. My brother looks imitating with his red hair, green eyes, and the cigarette he seemed to be always smoking but really he is a big softy who loved sugary sweets and pastries. While my brother worked at the bakery, I was home-schooled by an older lady who taught me how to be a gentleman. I had a great life! But then suddenly an American company wanted Iain to open up his bakery in New York so it was goodbye England and hello high school.
"See you later, Flying Mint Bunny." I waved goodbye to my friend who happened to be a flying green rabbit. He's not imaginary! Why, even Iain can see him.
World Academy W was a block from our new house in New York. The school was known for its multicultural students and prestigious schooling. I walked through the giant gates and looked down at my schedule. I had homeroom first in room 231. I just had to find it. I followed a bunch of kids, who didn't seem to speak English, to my first class.
"Excuse me." I tapped the shoulder of a girl who had her back to me. She was standing at the front of the class and she was wearing a very short skirt, "I don't know if anyone told you but I'm a new student. My name is Arthur Kirkland." The girl turned around…only she wasn't a girl.
"Like do I look like a teacher?" The cross dresser sat down in a desk at the front. Two students started to laugh. One, I noted, was a girl with dark brown hair who sat in the middle row right in front of the laughing male. He definitely came from Japanese background. I ignored the two and turned my attention back to the desks. I wanted to sit close to the front so I could see but the only available seat was next to the cross dresser. I took a deep breath and was about to claim the seat when the girl with dark brown hair spoke,
"You don't want to sit there." She shook her head, "Feliks Łukasiewicz's boyfriend is going to sit there."
"Boyfriend?" I thought before he heard a voice behind him,
"Excuse me. Are you going to sit there?" I turned around to see Feliks' boyfriend.
"Toris! Like come and sit beside me." Feliks beckoned him over. I moved aside so Toris could sit down. Suddenly Feliks tried to kiss Toris,
"Not here!" Toris squeaked. I hugged my books to my chest, embarrassed. I saw another empty desk and made my way to it. It was just seated behind a dark skinned guy who looked Cuban whose hair was in dreadlocks. I was just about to sit down when the Japanese guy and the dark brown haired girl shook their heads,
"Better pick another seat. He farts a lot." She held her nose, "Cause all he eats is ice cream."
"Hey!" The Cuban sounded offended. I sighed and walked to the front of the class, looking for another seat. Unfortunately, I wasn't looking where I was going…
"Ve~ Hey everybody!" I bumped into the speaker who had been holding a plate of pasta. The sauce went all over his white shirt. The class burst out laughing.
"Oh bullocks! I'm so sorry!" I bent down to pick up the papers the person had dropped.
"That's okay…but it was such good pasta." The man started to unbutton his shirt. Another man was walking past. He popped his head into the room,
"Mr. Vargas! What are you doing?"
"Ludwig! I spilt my pasta!"
"Feliciano! Put on some clothes!" Ludwig cringed, "And don't refer to me by my first name." He cleared his throat, "Well I just wanted everyone to know that we have a new student joining us. He moved here from England." Feliciano gestured to a boy, who wore a slouch hat,
The boy looked confused, "I'm from Australia." The boy's accent was indeed Australian.
"Great." Feliciano looked to Ludwig for help. Ludwig pulled a paper out of his pocket,
"His name is Arthur. Arthur Kirkland."
"That's me!" I raised my hand. I still wasn't sitting in a desk but I merely stood to one side of the class.
"Ve~ Welcome Arthur and thank you Ludwig."
"Mr. Vargas," Ludwig decided not to get mad at him. He turned to the class, "Good day everybody." He said in his thick German accent before leaving the classroom to check in on the other teachers on the first day back.
The rest of the day was a blur. A stressful, surreal blur. I got in trouble for the most random things like asking to go to the toilet. I had never lived in a world where adults didn't trust me…or understand me. They were always yelling at me. In the cafeteria, I couldn't find anyone to seat with. I didn't have a lot of friends in England but I had none in America. I ate my lunch alone.
When I came home, Iain was sitting on the porch with a cigarette in his mouth.
"How was your first day?" He asked with a grin. Flying Mint Bunny flew around me excited. I was so upset that I marched to my room to do my homework. Yes, we got homework on the first day. I didn't want to go back. I wanted to go home. Back to England…but then I remembered why we were here. Iain had his dream bakery. I was just going to have to suck it up and go back to that school.
At school the next day in homeroom, the dark haired girl and the Japanese boy started talking to me.
"Have you ever thought about cross dressing as a girl?" The boy suddenly asked.
"Excuse me?" I looked up from my book. Class hadn't started yet.
"You just have such a feminine look to you" The boy explained, "and I would love to make a doujinshi of you and your adventures as a girl."
"What?" I was still confused.
"This is Kiku." The dark haired introduced, "He is the world's biggest otaku."
"Otaku?" I felt like they were speaking a different language.
"He's obsessed with anime, manga, video games…I mean who isn't?" The girl laughed, "I'm a fujoshi myself."
"Huh?" I still had no idea what they were talking about but I remembered my manners, "Nice to meet you, Kiku." Suddenly a boy with a funny hat on his head and a posh coat leaned on the girl's desk,
"Hey Elizabeta, what you doing later?" He grinned.
"Not you." The girl grabbed his collar, "Don't forget about my frying pan. It's in my locker right now but I can get it." The boy hurried away and the girl looked back to me, "I'm Elizabeta."
"Hi, I'm Arthur." I looked down at my schedule. It had changed since yesterday. When I was home-schooled, it was the same lessons every day. Suddenly I thought to ask Elizabeta and Kiku. They probably would know where my next class was, "Do you guys know where room G14 is?" Kiku glanced at my schedule,
"Health, Tuesday, Thursday, in room G14."
"I think that's in the back building." Elizabeth thought aloud. Kiku looked at her strange but then nodded,
"Oh yeah, it's in the back building."
"We'll take you there." Elizabeth offered.
"Thanks." I smiled. I was finally starting to feel more comfortable at this school. The bell rang. Kiku and Elizabeth grabbed my hands and pulled me through the busy corridors,
"Watch out! New meat coming through!" Elizabeth yelled. The two took me outside by a huge field. Kiku had asked for my schedule,
"Health, Spanish…" He read aloud, "You're taking twelfth grade calculus?"
"I was home-schooled so I'm way ahead of everyone." I shrugged, "Besides I like math."
"Ew." Elizabeth commented.
"But that's because it's the same in every country." I added quickly.
"That's deep. That's very deep." Kiku wrote something down in a notebook before he and Elizabeth sat on the grass. I looked around,
"Where's the back building?" I asked.
"It burned down in 1987." Kiku replied. I froze. I had no idea where my next class was and I was positive these wankers either had no idea where it was or weren't going to tell me.
"Won't we get in trouble for skipping class?" I asked hoping they liked to follow the rules. Kiku looked up from his notebook,
"Why would we get you into trouble?"
"We're your friends." Elizabeth insisted. She then turned to Kiku, "Now hand over that new yaoi manga you've been bragging about."
Now I know it's wrong to skip class but Elizabeth said we were friends and I was in no position to pass up friends. I guess I'll never know what I missed on that first day of Health class…
"Why didn't you still get home-schooled?" Kiku asked.
"My tutor is back in England and my brother wanted me to get socialized." I was trying to see what Elizabeth was reading. It looked like a picture book to me. Elizabeth snorted,
"Oh, you'll get socialized all right. A little foreigner like you."
"What are you talking about?" I demanded. I thought almost everyone was a foreigner here.
"You're a regulation hottie." Elizabeth commented.
"Own it!" Kiku suddenly announced.
"How do you spell your name, Igirisu?" Elizabeth asked.
"Igirisu?" I frowned, "My name is Arthur."
"Oh, Kiku told me in Japanese that the word for England is Igirisu and since you're from there…" Elizabeth explained, "I'm going to call you Igirisu." She decided.
"In the name of all that is anime, will you look at Antonio Carriedo's gym clothes?" Kiku exclaimed.
"Of course all the Bad Touch Trio are in the same gym class." Elizabeth groaned.
"Who are the Bad Touch Trio?" I questioned.
"They're like teen royalty." Kiku explained.
"That one there." Elizabeth pointed to the brown haired guy from before, "That is Antonio Carriedo. He is one of the dumbest boys you will ever meet." Antonio went to kick the football but missed, "Kiku sat next to him in English class last year."
"He asked me how to spell tomato." Kiku made a weird face. I laughed but only because it was too sad.
"That one over there." Elizabeth pointed to a white haired guy who had bright red eyes, "That's Gilbert Beilschmidt." Gilbert suddenly got hit in the head with a football.
"He thinks he's totally awesome just because his dad started an empire." I looked over at Gilbert who was trying to regain himself. Antonio was asking if he was alright.
"Gilbert knows everybody's business. He knows everything about everyone." Elizabeth glared at him, "Next time he tries to butt into my business again, I'll have my frying pan ready." I scooted away from Elizabeth and her evil aura. I had no idea what she meant by her frying pan but it didn't sound good.
"And look whose coming." Kiku whispered.
"And evil takes a human form in Francis Bonnefoy." Elizabeth gestured to a boy who was being carried in the air to the field by four other boys, "Don't be fooled. He may seem like your typical selfish backstabbing jerk face but in reality, he is so much more than that." I watched as the boys put Francis on the ground. He gave one a red rose, which appeared out of nowhere, and blew the others a kiss.
"He's the king. The other two are just his little workers." Kiku explained.
"Francis Bonnefoy …how do I even begin to explain Francis Bonnefoy …" Elizabeth returned her eyes to her picture book. Kiku wrote something else down in his notebook. I continued to stare at the Bad Touch Trio. Why were these three boys the "teen royalty" of the school? I was going to find out…
Thank you for reading the first chapter of Mean Boys.
This idea came to me at random and it fits perfect with all the characters.
The main pairing is USUK with hints of FRUS, Spamono, PruAus, and a few others.
I still feel bad that Spain had to be the dumb one but I couldn't see him being a gossiper ;)
I just had to put that part with Australia in. I moved to Canada from England and everyone thought I was from Australia. It's totally different accents! :)
Oh! And the guy who talked to Hungary was Romania. I only saw a picture of him so I only had a rough idea of what he looked like.
I hope you enjoyed and reviews are love! 3