Disclaimer:((I DO NOT OWN Dark Cloud or any of it's characters. They belong to Level 5))

This is a response to WanderingSoulofTime's what-if challenge. WARNING: I do not mean any offense in this story toward anyone who has a little extra weight.

This is what would happen if Goro and Ruby went on a date in the real world.

Bold italics; title

Italics in the story; thoughts

this type of font; third person

This type of font underlined; states where we are in the story

This type of font; dialogue.

Never Gonna Happen.


"W-w-would you like to go out with me?" stammered Goro nervously

"Sure I'd love to." said Ruby happily.

"Do you wanna go to the movies?" said Goro.

"Okay." said Ruby.

Goro's place

Goro took a shower and put his shirt and pants on that had an "alien invader" logo on it.

'Finally I'm getting a date with Ruby, the only hot babe that I know. YES, SCORE!'

Goro drove over to Ruby's apartment and knocked on the door.

In front of Ruby's apartment

Soon after Ruby came outside.

She was wearing a pink shawl, a red t-shirt, golden earrings, and a magenta skirt.
"Wow!" said Goro with his mouth gaping.

"Thanks." said Ruby blushing.

Goro closed his mouth and said, "Shall we get going?"

Goro lead Ruby to the his truck and they drove to the theater they could hear night wind blowing.

"Ruby we're here." said Goro while pointing to the theater called Lewis.

At the movie theater

Goro and Ruby walked to the movie theater and Goro bought the tickets.

"We're going to watch 'Love's Tragedy'?" said Ruby.

"Yeah, I thought you would like it." said Goro.

"I would love to watch it." said Ruby happily.

"Goro can we get some snacks?" said Ruby hungrily.

"Sure, what would you like?" said Goro.

"I want some popcorn, a drink and some cheese sticks." said Ruby with a smile.

"Okay I'll go buy them, right now" said Goro.

In the snack bar line

While waiting in line for his order, Goro could smell the buttery popcorn, the sweet scent of the bubbly Dr. Pepper, and the cheese of the fried cheese sticks.

On the way to the movie

As Goro was bringing the food to the theater room he saw Xiao clinging to Toan's arm as they went to the movie 'The Last Creature Alive'.

'Wow I guess Toan had the same idea as me or probably not by looking at the title of the movie.'

In the movie room

As Goro entered the movie he saw Ruby waiting in the fifth row of the seats.

"Hey Goro, over here," Ruby shouted, waving her hands while other people told her to be quiet.

"I'm coming," said Goro as he began to climb the staircase leading to the seats.

Ruby saved him a spot right next her in the fourth row.

"Thanks," said Goro exhausted, as he sat down in the chair.

As Goro sat down in his chair Ruby asked him, "May I have some popcorn?"

"Sure." said Ruby.

The movie started just as a fat man came into the room with his wife, they were both fat and looked disgusting. They smelled like they just jumped into a garbage can, and swam in the sewer, and then rolled around in their filth. They both looked like they were in their mid-thirties. The couple were carrying two large buckets of popcorn, and bag of cheese sticks and a box of pizza. The man had a flask with some strange liquid in his pocket while his wife had a packet of gum in hers. They both took a seat right behind Goro and Ruby.

Goro said to the man during the movie, "Excuse me sir, but is it possible that you could find another seat?"

The fat man said, "And why should I?"

'Man what should I say to this guy that he reeks and smells like garbage.'

"Um it's just that I like this girl here," Goro said as he pointed toward Ruby.

The fat man said, "Ah, young love, I understand, go get her tiger," the man and his wife moved to the seventh row from the front of the screen.

Just as the couple in the movie were about to kiss Goro made his move.

Goro approached Ruby wanting to kiss her and said" Ruby, I know this our first time out alone but w-will you kiss me?"

Ruby said, "Sure."

"You w-will!" said Goro happily.

As they were about to kiss, they didn't know that Osmond was the one who was working the film!

Osmond was in the film room and he put in a slide he made at home that said "KISS HER ALREADY YOU IDIOT!"

Goro got really nervous as soon as he saw the sign, and just as they were about to kiss, his hand slipped and he tried to grab the cup for support but it spilled all over Ruby's dress.

Ruby screamed at Goro with fury, "GORO, YOU JERK, YOU RUINED MY BRAND NEW SHIRT."

Ruby then kicked Goro right in his jewels.

Goro thought, "I screwed up big time."

After that Goro passed out and woke up in his room.

"Aww man, it was just another dream," said Goro.

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