So I was watching episode 24 (And So Kyoya Met Him) for the gazillionth time, and I thought: What if Haruhi had asked Tamaki about how they met? What would he have said? I know that that's not really the question she asked in the real episode, but I thought it would produce the same results, and I'm planning on using lines straight from the original script, soooooo... Basically, this fic REALLY needs a disclaimer!
Disclaimer: I, Don'tMessWithAFangirl, do not own Ouran High School Host Club, NOR any lines, characters, references, etc within said anime/manga.
Not funny, not witty, but it gets the job done, no?
Also, I apologize for Suoh Family OOC-ness. I really have NO idea what to do with them.
"What are these things all over the room?" The Fangirls were twittering at the edges of the room, looking very confused.
"Are they furniture?" One of the girls wondered out loud.
"If my memory serves me correctly, they're called Kotatsu" A studious looking girl supplied.
"OH! I wondered what those looked like! I've never seen one before!" An excited fangirl exclaimed.
"Neither have I!" Her friend added.
"Indeed, it is a kotatsu. Normally, they're only used in the winter. It may be a little early in the season for these, but I figured it was PERFECT for you ladies. After all, you're always one step ahead of the crowd, aren't you?" Tamaki answered the girls questions just as elegantly as usual. But this time, his explaination was completely false. It would be stupid to have kotatsu so early, as Haruhi, Hunny, Hikaru, Kaoru, and even Mori have tried to explain to him. But Kyoya didn't ask. He didn't have to. "Now, my darlings, I hope you will enjoy today's homestyle kotatsu service! Presented by our Host Club."
"I never really thought of sitting under a kotatsu as fun" Haruhi mused, confused at all the rich girls that seemed to be charmed with the idea of kotatsu.
"Well, everyone seems to be enjoying themselves!" Tamaki offered no explaination as he joined he at the edge of the room, standing back to admire his work.
"Yeah..." She couldn't deny that it seemed to have a positive effect on the ladies but it was still strange. As her mind wandered, she remembered something she had been meaning to ask their so-called 'King'. "Hm..."
"What's the matter?" Tamaki chuckled nervously. "You have something against kotatsus?"
"Not at all. I was just thinking about something." Haruhi turned to look at the blonde. "Now correct me if I'm wrong, but the Host Club was originally founded by both you and Kyoya-sempai, right?"
"Sure was!" Tamaki beemed, looking over at an oblivious Kyoya and blushing just a tad.
"Okay, so here's what I don't get. How did somebody as cool as Kyoya end up hanging out with you?" Haruhi didn't add any sugur coating to her question, but Tamaki didn't seem to get the implication.
"Well, it wasn't exactly his idea..." Tamaki's expression became dreamy as he looked beyond Kyoya to their past.
-two years ago-
I was starting my first spring in the Japanese school my father worked at.
"Tamaki." my grandmother looked sternly at me, disaproving of not only my clothing, physical traits, and personality, but my very existance. "Do not dare disgrace the Suoh family. I may not regard you as a Suoh, but you reflect this family nonetheless. I have no doubt you will fail at all your classes, but at least attempt to be polite, unlike your whore mother!"
I gritted my teeth. Though I was excited about staying in Japan, I loathed the people who brought me there. And the conditions.
"Yes, Grandmother." There was nothing else I could say to her that wouldn't jeopardize my mother's safety. I must be strong for her.
"Now leave my sight!" I gladly obliged, and entered the limo that had pulled up out front during the cold conversation. My father had taken a separate limo in order to avoid being associated with his bastard child.
Staring out the window, I wondered if my grandmother had kept her promise. What if my torture wasn't even doing anything to help her?
I could imagine what she would say to that: 'Now Tamaki! You can't think that way!' He would smooth down his hair and look into his eyes to make sure he was listening. 'The world is a magnificent place, full of wonderful things! Even the bad is capable of good!'
Suddenly, I was jolted out of his thoughts by a gruff voice. "Mr. Suoh. We have arrived at your school. I will be back at the end of your classes."
And with that, I was catapulted into a new life.
"Class Representitive, Vice Representitive. Please come this way." The teacher gestured to the two students standing in front of the door. "Allow me to introduce you two to our new student, Tamaki Suoh."
"It's a pleasure to meet you both!" I was on my most charming setting, Charming Tamaki, determined to win over everyone in the class, and then some. I was going to enjoy Japan at it's finest! Including the people!
"This is class representative, Kyoya Otori, and Vice representitive, Ayame Jomochi" The teacher gestured to a blindingly handsome boy and then to a very pretty girl. The boy seemed studious. He had a large smile plastered on his face, but behind it was a desperate, lonely boy, who needed to learn how to have fun. The girl was also studios looking, and very pretty, though not as gorgeous as the boy. She seemed an easier target than the boy, so I tried charming her first. The ladies were always the easiest.
"You have the most beautiful straight hair that I have ever seen!" He looked at its owner with his 'romantic eyes'. "I would assume you heart is just as blindingly beautiful as that hair of yours"
The girl blushed and giggled while the boy seemed confused, but the smile was plastered right back on when I turned to him.
"Nice to meet you, Otori" I stuck out my hand in order to shake his.
"The pleasure is all mine" He ignored my hand, but I almost forgot about it when I heard his voice. It was surprisingly cool and slippery, like I had just laid down in the creek instead of on my picnic blanket. "You know, if you like, I could take you on a tour of the school"
Quickly snapping out of my unnoticable, millisecond-long trance at the touch of his hand, I shook it as I had been meaning to, mentally thanking the world that I was practiced at slipping away unnoticed."That'd be great! Thank you very much!"
"Up ahead of us is the West School Building. All special classrooms are on the other side." I was less shellshocked every time he spoke after the tour was almost over. I had something else to muddle about. It was becoming more and more apparent that Kyoya Otori needed me. He was stiff and confused. He was constantly plowing forward, while at the same time, holding himself back. So I devised one of my amazing plans: Snap him. I would keep demanding things at my most annoying setting, Annoying Tamaki, until he snaps.
"Ahhhh... Oh. I forgot. I was wondering Otori... Do you have a kotatsu at your house?"
"Huh?" He surprised by my random question, and not yet used to my annoying setting. But he would be.
"Oh surely you do! I think kotatsus are simply AMAZING! I always thought it was cool the Japanese sit on the floor. I told myself I would sit under one once I got to Japan. But at home, the decor is all Western..." At the end, I trailed off, hoping to give him a prime opportunity to invite me over so I could start my opperation.
"Unfortunately, we don't have any kotatsu either, we do have Japanese decor, though." Plastering on a smile, Kyoya tried to answer as politely as he could. He still needed to be my friend to please his father.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Well if I couldn't get into his house, I could at least get under his skin and try new tactics later... "I can't believe it! You don't have a kotatsu? I'm sooorry Otori. It was rather insensitive for me to ask you that... I guess your family isn't as close as they could be." I looked at him with pity, already seeing cracks in his armor. "Look. It's okay! You don't have to hide it anymore. I'm well aware that the kotatsu is the symbol for a happy home life in Japan." Conjouring a television out of nowhere, I started demonstrating my knowlage of Japanese culture. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but here in Japan, you playfully kick eachother's feet under the kotatsu while building familial bonds of trustand watching costume grand prix, right? And of course, you also eat plenty of manderin oranges!" And for the grande finale! "I feel sorry for you! You and your family are missing out."
"I hate to correct you, but I think you've got the wrong idea." Kyoya's smile was more forced than ever, as he rushed to repair the cracks that i had made. "If it's that important to you, we could always put a kotatsu in our home for you to visit."
"THANK YOU OTORI! Yay! You're such a great friend! You're my BEST friend!" HAHA! I inwardly rejoiced at recieving at least an excuse for me to visit and outwardly rejoiced at being able to sit under a kotatsu. Those things looked awesome. "Hey Otori! I don't want to be too forward of anything, but since we're pals do you think I could call you by your first name!"
He tried to say something but I ignored him.
"Bravo! Kyoya! My pal! Mon ami! YAHOO!" I jumped up and down rejoicing in our new friendship. FINALLY I was getting somewhere!
When I got home, I went straight for my room. I needed to get some sort of a plan together.
"What can I do?" I asked Beary, my teddy bear, while flopping onto the bed "I have to be really, really annoying, right?"
Only silence greeted me, though I really shouldn't have expected any more than that. Beary WAS just an inanimate object. But so what?
"Well FINE." I huffed indignantly. "If you're not going to help me, I'll just figure it out on my own! I can totally get a guy to-!"
"!" A maid had brought me an afternoon snack, after he I gone straight to my room. All the staff members must have been concerned, as I usually waited a while before getting my homework done, procrastinating by playing the piano and flirting endlessly. "I-I'm so sorry! I just- We all- Here's your snack!" The maid then put the plate on the ground and fled down the stairs.
"Wait! THAT WASN'T WHAT IT SOUNDED LIKE!" I tried to explain, but the girl was already downstairs.
"I just meant to be annoyed with me!" I insisted, this time to Beary. "I wouldn't want to... Kyoya isn't... I mean... " At a loss for the right words, I stared out the window to the gardens. "What do I mean?"
"Kyoya!" "I need to ask a favor of you." The next day, Kyoya and I were hanging out again. I grabed his friend's shoulders and gave him an intense look. "You see, I really want to go to Kyoto."
"Uhhh..." Kyoya didn't quite knpw what to do, so, as he had been learning was best in the past few hours, he just went with it.
'"You see, I got so excited about the kotatsu that I forgot!" I was almost excited about the plan I had decided on, but kind of nervous that I was excited. "I always said that once I got to Japan, I would go to Kyoto." Why should I be excited by going places with Kyoya? "The great Bhudda at Nara, Godiotaku Park! I want to see shiza, and Namahake..." I had forgotten that I was on auto pilot and returned to my blabbering self. "I want to see everything..."
"One problem. None of those things are in Kyoto." Kyoya replied calmly. He obyoiusly though I was a dumbass. Haha! That was where he was wrong!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" I screamed before decending into my emo corner to wait for his obvious reply.
"How about" He was obviously patronizing me, but Annoying Tamaki wouldn't notice, so whatever. "We see each of those things at a time" Wahoo! Tamaki one, Kyoya zero! (That will change, young child...) "Why don't we go to Kyoto this weekend, and then on our next school holiday, we can go to Okinowa."
"THANK YOU KYOYA!" Enter 'Tamaki Hug'. Haha. I was so good at that stuff. "You're the GREATEST! You're like a GOD! Like the great bhudda!" And now flattery. No matter who it is, flattery will get you ANYWHERE. "KYOYA! Mon Ami! MON AMI! KYOYA!"
In Kyoto, we had so much fun! I got to enjoy his voice and his company - though not much, as he tried to keep us subtly apart. Oh well. I'd work on that - and he got to enjoy my company! I took tons of pictures to remember it by, and of course I had to keep up the annoying act. It was starting to become less of an act, now that I was using it so much. It was actually really fun!
Everyone in my class seemed to like me, though it was no surprise, as I could charm a snake out of its basket! Besides, if I were to show my grandmother anything, it should be that I 'm good with people! That's always a good thing!
"Kyoya! I found a Namahake!" I danced with the figurine on my head, singing 'Namahake, Namahake!' I wasn't sure what it actually was, but either way, I was pretty annoying!
"That's a Shisa..." Kyoya had absolutely no idea what to do with me.
(I don't know how to spell either of these... whatever they are. I know nothing about them! Anyone care to share knowledge...? [I'm talking about the Namahake and Shisa])
The last few weeks had been the greatest days of my life! Kyoya and I had so much FUN! He was so handsome too...
I had to stop thinking like that! It had been happening more and more since that first question after that first day, Kyoya and I were just friends! Nothing more!
I didn't particularly like Angsty Tamaki, so I decided to just take a nap. What Tamaki do you be when there's no one to annoy, no one to charm, and no thoughts you'd like to mull over. So the best decision was bed. I would sort it out after his nap.
Unfortunately, I never got that nap, because a maid came in at that moment, declaring that my grandmother wanted to see me. Concerned, I followed the girl. She wouldn't look at me straight on, but I realized that this was the maid that had brought up the snack a few weeks ago and mis-interpreted my words. I was going to say something, but we had reached my grandmother's parlour (she had a mini house within the estate), and I needed to focus all my energy on being charming and worthy, though in my grandmother's eyes, I feared I could never be either.
"Child." She barked at me. "Sit." She didn't gesture to a chair or anything, so I just chose one and prayed I had chosen correct. "Over there." Apparently I hadn't chosen right, and now she was already exasperated with me. "Child, do you wish to be the Suoh Heir?"
"I do wish to be the heir grandmother. Very much." I wasn't lying when I said this, merely fudging the truth a bit. I did want to be the Suoh heir, but only so that I would be able to keep my mother safe. If I became unvaluable in the Suoh family, who knows what would happen to her?
"Well you haven't been showing it." Her contempt of me was visible, and in every word she spoke. "Your grades have been falling. Drastically. You have been disgracing the family and I will have it no more. You will pass all your classes with high marks. You will also stop hanging out with that Ootori boy so much. Fags and Man-whores may have been accepted in France, but not in Japan. (BTW, I SERIOUSLY mean no offense when I use words and phases and SUCH like this, but it is what Tama-chan's Grandmother would say, and I HATE when the characters are OOC. I really hate this woman, and wish no one will take offence at what she says and then point fingers at me.)"
"Yes Grandmother." I seethed on the inside, ready to rip the woman in front of me to shreds with only my teeth, but I needed to bear it. For my mother.
"Now leave my sight, bastard child." She ordered, motioning to the maid who had been waiting by the door to escort me back. As if I was a criminal. How I loathed it.
Back in my room, I opened my bag, readying to study until I fall asleep. Suddenly, I remembered what I had said to Kyoya in Kyoto:
"Next week, lets go to Okaido, okay?" I had said, giving him the patented 'Tamaki Hug'. Well, I guess it would just have to wait.
"We're going to Okaido?" I pretended to have forgotten when Kyoya came over to talk with me about it. "I know you want to enjoy your life to the fullest, but don't you think we should be spending our time studying for finals right now? We can go to Okaido when they're over." I saw him slowly crumble, relishing it. It would be the last time I saw that until after finals. That made me unbearably sad, to think of no Kyoya. "I think you should start hitting the books, my friend."
That night, I was too tired to do much but sleep. So much so, that I slept through dinner. I just didn't have the energy to do anything but mourn the loss of a great era of Kyoya and Tamaki, for after that, he probably snapped. That was my goal wasn't it? Well... goals change.
The next night, I 'hit the books', but by the end of three hours, in no way did I want it to be figurative. I hadn't studied that hard in all my life!
"Suoh-sama..." A maid appeared at the door. Tamaki gestured her in, barely looking up from his books. "I brought some snacks. You have been working too much. Please take a break. We are all very worried about you." I was surprised at this. I knew I had gained some admirers in the household, but that was natural for me. Getting actual concern from the admirers was not. Then again, I didn't usually interact with many people back in France for a long period of time. I was usually with my mother.
"Thank you, Princess." I decided from then on, I would call each girl Princess, in order to display my gratitiude, Grandmothers be damned. "That was so thoughtful of you all! I'm so glad you find me worthy of concern!" She blushed, and I thought it all a success. "I have to study a while longer, but later i shall take a preak and play the piano for you all."
"That's so wonderful, Suoh-sama! We all love it when you play! You play so beautifully!" She looked conflicted for a moment, then she spoke timidly. "I am so sorry if I overstep my boundries, but we don't mind that you're gay. We think you're really wonderful! We don't think your grandmother should treat you like she does, but she does have grudging respect for you." She turned red and looked terrified. "! I'll leave now!" She practically squeaked.
I leaned forward and caught her hand as she turned to leave. "Wait!" I pulled her back, and she seemed about to burst she looked so scared. "Don't be frightened. I don't mind you saying the things you did. In fact... I think you may have saved my life." At that moment I had realized something. And it was all because of that wonderful girl. "I am gay, and I dispise my grandmother, and I think I'm in love with a boy in my class, and I really love ramen because it's the first Japanese dish I've ever had, and..." Suddenly, I was spouting my heart to this maid I had never officially met. It got so that I was crying and she was sitting on the bed with me, comforting me. But even though I appreciated her kindness more than I could ever express (She vowed secrecy and gave me a diary so that I could write down everything and get my emotions out once and a while.) I wished for all the world she was Kyoya.
The next day, I knew what I had to do. I had to do. I had to somehow reconsile Tamaki and Kyoya. I needed it, and I was pretty sure he needed it too. That day in school, he looked same as ever. Apparently snapping wasn't enough. He couldn't just snap about ME he had to snap about his LIFE. Or at least, I wanted him to need me so bad I imagined it to be so. Either way, I needed to make a plan. And fast.
"Oh! Suoh, is it?" A woman answered the door. She was older than Kyoya, but too young to be his mother. "I've heard a lot about you!" By the way she said it, I could only gather that I was right that Kyoya had snapped. Either that or he had confessed to her that he loved me, but that was a bit to hard to believe, even for me. "I'm Fuyume, Kyoya's older sister."
"Please, call me Tamaki." I tried to charm her like the rest, but this was a tad trickier. Usually, I get as romantic as I can, but I don't want to get romantic with my crush's sister! "What a lovely necklace you have on!"
"Oh why thank you!" She exclaimed, obviously charmed. "Come in, Come in! We were just sitting in the family room. If you want, you could join us. Kyoya isn't home yet, but he should be home soon."
"Sure! I'd love to join you."
"You have a piano!" I exclaimed as we entered the room. "May I play for you?"
"Sure! That old piano needs some exercise!" Fuyume then addressed the people in the room. "This is Tamaki Suoh, Kyoya's friend."
A chorus of 'hello's came from the brothers, and I gave a warm hello back, but I was thinking about the piano. With all the studying, angsting and pouring my heart out, I hadn't had time to play much in the past few days.
"He's going to play on the piano while he waits for Kyoya!" Fuyume announced as I crossed the room. Sliding onto the bench, I went through my repetoire. I settled on one of my favorites and started playing. My audience was instantly entranced. The piece I had chosen was long, but I hoped Kyoya would come soon. I had picked my favorite, secretly hoping he would walk in the door and fall in love. Silly romantic ideas...
Suddenly, Fuyume was gone. I wondered where she went until she came back with Kyoya. I closed my eyes and gave the song my all. I needed to let him hear my heart, even if he didn't know what he was hearing.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" I heard Fuyume say. "It brings me to tears."
Next I heard a bag drop. I could only assume it was Kyoya's. Well maybe I didn't make him love me with my music, but at least I touched his heart, and I would take what I could get.
After the song finished, Fuyume found excuses for her brothers and herself to leave the room. I thought to myself that I would have to thank her some day.
"Sorry for just dropping in out of the blue like this." I said, trying to appeal to his manners.
"So what happened to studying for finals? Have you finished yet?" He sounded annoyed! (Well, as annoyed as Kyoya ever got.) Did this mean he missed me? Surely not... Either way it was definately not a subject I wanted to discuss. I would deal with my grades later.
"Wooow. Your house is gigantic, Kyoya." I disguised my unwillingness to get into it as ignorance and arrogance "I wonder if this one could be any bigger than my house, the one I have in france."
"Well, I don't know about your mansion in france," Well I was annoying him, that's for sure. "but I'm sure your estate is bigger than mine, right?"
"Well, uh." I tried to put this delicately without revealing anything or being annoying. "I wouldn't know, because I've never been to the main estate before. And, uh, the second estate is small." I figured I would try another change of topic, to get the conversation off of me and onto him. "So Kyoya, are you successor to the Otori family estate?"
"There's no way that'll happen." He laughed lightly as if I had made a joke, but the pain in his eyes was awful. "My brothers, they're the first in line. I'm sure that I'll just end up working for them some day."
"Really? That's a surprise." I wished I could do more, but I would have to settle for friendship if I were to make that pain go away. He needed to work on his family issues, and I would do anything to help him. Including making him realize how amazing and capable he was. I would finish my first task. I would save Kyoya Ootori like that maid saved me.
"Huh?" He seemed surprised that I could see right through them. Oh Kyoya. I can see through you, but I pray that you will never see through me.
"Maybe I'm wrong, but I get the feeling you want more than that." I said. "I mean, when I look in your eyes, I can tell you're not happy with your situation." And now for the getting under his skin business. After all this annoying him, I hope he'll let me be his friend after. "I'm surprised you'd give up so easily."
"This has nothing to do with weather I'm giving up or not." He sounded bitter. "It's just the way things are." Suddenly, he became angry. At me. "You wouldn't understand, because you'll be successor to your family's estate without even having to lift a finger!"
"It's not certain that I'll be the Suoh family successor." Oh! He just figured I would be successor. Maybe I could use this... "My grandmother doesn't like me, so if things stay the way things are now, then I'm not the heir. I'm not anything! I'm kind of on a probationary period. I can't believe I didn't tell you that!" Now I really had to drive home that I was doing what I wanted regardless, and he should too! "To be completely honest with you, I'm not really ll that interested in my father's line of work. And besides, look at me. I can't let these good looks go to waste!" When did I slip back into Annoying Tamaki. It's popping up more and more. It's like I can't even controll it anymore! "And you know, I am incredibly smart, so maybe I could be a brilliant scientist! You know what I'd love to do more than anything? I want to open an animal kingdom in the north! When I close my eyes, I can see it!"
"SHUT UP, Tamaki!" He shouted, turning over the table, and grabbing me. It all happened so fast, but suddenly we were on the floor. And he was straddling me. Eeepp...! "Do you expect me to believe that crap? How can you possibly give up on being you family's successor so EASILY? You have no IDEA what it's like for me! YOU actually have a CHANCE at it! All you have to do is TRY!" He seemed to be unraveling before me, and I tried to pay attention, I really did! But He. Was. Stradling. Me. "Take advantage of your fortunate circumstances! Don't you REALIZE the POSITION YOU'VE BEEN BLESSED WITH? I can't believe you!" Finally he was screaming at me. At least it made me pay attention... "DAMMIT! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!" He seemed to realize what he was doing and calmed down a bit. "Of course, I know my brothers are no more suited to the position than I am, but I will always feel the frustrations of not being able to step out side of my frame. Because I am the third son."
"Hold on. It sounds to me like you're the one who itsn't trying." Finally, I stated the point of the entire conversation. The point I had been trying to make all along. "If you really want to surpass your brothers, then you can do it." "But I think the one who's given up here," I paused for dramatic effects. "Is you, Kyoya" Suddenly, I realized I had been at his house randomly, and he was bound to wonder, so I dug up that excuse he had provided me with all those weeks ago. "Oh yeah, by the way, where's that kotatsu I asked for? Not to be a pain, but I thought you'd have it ready for me by now. That's why I stopped by your place."
Suddenly, Kyoya was laughing. I was ecstatic! I had finally gotten him to laugh! Now it was time to lighten the mood, for my quest was finished.
"What is it? What's so funny?" I snapped into Annoying Tamaki mode, just because it was the one that felt most natural. "Lemme guess. You got the kotatsu ready to go and you're trying to hide it from me!"
"It's not all about YOU, ya know!" He hit me on the head, but it was a familiar sort of hit. Like you do to a friend! "Kotatsu are only used in the winter, so if you want to sit under one, you'll have to wait until then." He sounded almost playful, or more playful than he had been. He had emotion in his voice now, not just plaster. And it was the moost stunning his voice had ever been. "Now would you quit being a dumbass."
"Oh man. Your face! It looks evil!" So of course I say something stupid, but it's okay, because we're friends now! Well, at least there's that. "So you're finally showing your true colors!"
Four months later
"Hey Kyoya! I just had the most brilliant idea!" Finally, it was winter, and Kyoya and I were sharing a kotatsu! He even indulged me and played footsies with me, but I know he'd deny it if I told anyone. "We should start a club together! We could start our club activities as soon as we get to High School!" My friend, Kimi, the maid I had poured my heart out to had brought the idea to me, and I thought it was great. She said she would come every day if she were a student! "And we can finally make use of our good looks with a High School Host Club!"
"Sleep first and then dream." He pushed me down with his foot, literally squashing my dreams, but I knew he'd come around. It was actually a financially prudent idea, and I had it all planned out in my diary!
"hahahaha. I'm serious." I told him as he sat down across from me. "I already know who we should ask to join! We have to ask Honinozuka sempai and Morinozuka sempai from the High School, and those second year twins!"
He let me ramble for a while, but he had this look in his eye, and I knew that next year would be the best year of our lives. And maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to let him see through me after all.
*insert ending song cuz it's awesome!*
A/N: So that was the longest chapter I have ever written, but if you only count the original stuff, then it's probably not tooo large.
Wow that was so much fun to write! I loved making this, and I hope you enjoyed reading it, so tell me what you think! R&R please!