Author's Note: Hiya! It's me again and I just thought I'd remind you to review please and make my day. :)
Disclaimer: It's not mine, never was, never will be...
Lily Evans saw James Potter. She saw him eat dinner. She saw him go to class. She saw him play quidditch. She saw him hang out with his friends. She saw him pull pranks. She saw him go to bed. Lily Evans did not notice James Potter, she just saw him.
James Potter noticed Lily Evans. He noticed how she much preferred chocolate cake to treacle tart. He noticed how she always raised her hand in potions and charms, but not in transfiguration. He noticed how she came to quidditch games because she liked the excitement, not the game. He noticed that she smiled more when she was with her friends and that, while she was friends with all four of them, she was closest to Marlene. He noticed how she didn't seem to mind all of his pranks and sometimes, he was sure he saw her holding back a smile. He noticed how she always went to bed at exactly 10:45pm every night, except on weekends when she would stay up to 11:30pm. James Potter did not see Lily Evans, he noticed her.
Recently, though, Lily Evans has started to notice James Potter. She noticed how after some of their worst fights, James would constantly tug his sleeves down over his wrists for about a week or two. She noticed that during those weeks, Sirius could be seen sending glares towards her and James, though the glares sent at James also held some concern.
She noticed that sometimes James would show up for class, his eyes red and puffy and his breathe stinking like cigarettes. He always tried to hide it but she could tell he'd been crying. She always wondered why he cried. Sometimes Lily wondered if he cried for his parents, who she knew to be dead, or if he cried because he was afraid, like her, of the war growing around them.
She noticed that James had stopped dating so many girls. Though, once every other month or so he could be found wandering through the portrait whole late at night, smelling of cheap perfume, with a pitiful look in his eyes. Lily wondered why he spent time with those girls, the ones with the red lipstick and push up bras. She thinks that maybe he's lonely, or maybe it helps him forget.
She noticed that sometimes when the Marauders go out drinking, James has to be carried home. She doesn't know why he drinks so much more than the others, but she knows they don't like it. Remus told her so. Remus also told her that sometimes James goes out drinking by himself and Sirius has to go get him when Rosmerta cuts him off and owls them. Remus said it happened seven times in one month. She wonders if that's what helps him forget. If it is, she doesn't think it's very healthy.
She noticed that he is extremely loyal to his friends. She saw him take a bludger for Sirius during a quidditch match against Slytherin. James won the game and kicked Avery's ass with one arm. She knows about Remus' condition too, and she knows about James, Sirius and Peter being Animagus. She almost doesn't believe that they would do something like that for Remus. Lily always wondered why someone as kind as Remus hung around with the Marauders. Now she knows.
She noticed how much he loves the rain. Sometimes she sits by the window in the common room when it rains, just so she can watch him wander around the grounds, cigarette dangling from his fingers, or fly around the quidditch pitch completing fancy loops and manoeuvres that she will never know the names of. She knows that if it's raining and he's not outside, he can be found by a window somewhere, staring longingly at the rain pouring down outside. Lily wonders if he likes the rain because it hides his tears. She'll never know for sure.
What she notices the most is the pain in his eyes. She notices that when he smiles, it doesn't quite reach his eyes. She wonders where the pain comes from and if it's what makes him cry. She wonders if it's what he's trying to forget when he sleeps around or drinks too much. She doesn't know if it keeps him up at night or plagues his sleep with nightmares. She thinks it does, because sometimes, if she listens really hard, she can hear him crying in the common room and in the morning he has dark circles under his eyes.
What she doesn't notice is the way he stares at her when she's not looking. She doesn't notice that he hurts himself after he hurts her. She doesn't notice that he cries himself to sleep every night, because of her. She doesn't notice that every time he's with another girl he's thinking of her, even though he's just trying to forget. She doesn't notice that he tries to drink her away and it never works. She doesn't notice that he hates Snape for hurting her but doesn't curse him anymore because he knows it bothers her. She doesn't notice that Sirius hates her for breaking his best mate over and over again until he couldn't be put back together. She doesn't notice that the pain in his eyes intensifies when he notices her.
James Potter notices Lily Evans. Lily Evans doesn't notice that James Potter loves her.