DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING BUT THE IDEA, BLAH BLAH BLAH, YOU'RE NOT REALLY READING THIS ARE YOU? WELL, SINCE YOU'RE HERE ANYWAY, DO YOU WANT TO HEAR A JOKE?
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE RUBARB THAT WAS ON THE CLOCK?
HE WAS GETTING PAID CELERY!
Dib had instructed Zim to try and sit up while he got the scalpel ready. Zim found sitting up after he'd been pushed down by Dib pushing on his stomach to be quite… exquisite. Dib had told him sitting up was going to make the surgery go better. When Dib turned around, scalpel in hand, Zim swallowed hard.
"Zim, this won't hurt a bit," Dib soothed, grabbing a table of tools, and pulling it up to them "you won't feel a thing!"
"What do you think you're-" Zim started to say, but, Dib shushed him.
"Shh… it will hurt more if your mind is busy and agitated. Relax. Concentrate on.. nothing."
Despite the calming words of his friend, Dib saw Zim was thinking about running off, and Dib put a hand on his shoulder. It would appear that Dib was trying to calm him down, but, really he was trying to keep him down. Within one soundless, swift, easy motion, Dib cut through a layer of skin.
Now, normally, an Irken has a high pain threshold, but with Zim's currently sensitive abdomen, he let out a whimper of pain. Dib had to take a hand off his shoulder to hunt for the organ causing him pain. As Dib entered his abdomen, Zim started to panic and scream.
"Shh… calm down Zim." The old Dib resurfaced for a moment. "I'll cut you open… rearrange your insides… find out what makes you tick…" the new Dib came back. "Isn't this fun?" Dib grinned evilly. He could sense the fear in his best friend. "Oay, I'm kidding dude! Geez Zim! Can't I make a joke?"
Zim eyed one of Dib's 'toys'. It was a small electric saw covered in spikes and had a mechanism on it that looked like it was supposed to pull something out. "Not while you're holding whatever THAT is." He pointed to the saw thing.
Dib looked at the item in his hand. "Oh, this is a-"
"Zim doesn't want to know. I just want to know if it hurts."
Dib looked at it, and thought, while keeping one hand inside the horizontal incision in Zim's abdomen. "Not much. It's only going to be so excruciatingly painful you're going to think you'll die." He joked. He felt Zim tense up a bit. "Dude, can't I make jokes, like, at all?"
"Not while your hand is inside me!"
"Alright, alright." Dib soothed. He continued to feel around in Zim's abdomen, hearing his screams of pain. "Zim, stop screaming." Dib soothed, as he hunted for the mass. Zim felt Dib grab the lump, and say "got it." Dib removed the lump covered in warm green liquid, and more of Zim's blood came out of his abdomen. Zim screamed louder than he'd probably screamed in his entire activation.
Zim knew he was supposed to hold still, but, he started squirming.
"Hold still, Zim! Come on, don't give up on me, we're almost done here." Dib tried to sooth. he cut the two large pipe-like pieces of flesh, and joined the cut ends together.
"Okay, it's over. Just a couple stitches and we'll be all done here. It's out now, Zim, okay?" Zim bit down on his lower lip, and nodded subtly. Dib got the stitches, and started to sew the wound closed as Zim screamed loud enough for Skoodge to hear him on Blorch. His pained screams grew louder and louder as the needle penetrated his skin, looped through a wound, and penetrated another layer of skin.
Dib showed Zim how to make neat stitches. In, out, in, out "don't try to move while I'm doing this, or you might mess up the stitches." Finally, after many screams and stitches, Dib finished closing Zim up. "Okay, now, I need you to take it easy for a while until the laceration heals, would you?"
Zim looked at his friend as though he was completely crazy. "Zim cannot relax. I have a mission, Dib!"
"You're friends with someone who used to be your worst enemy. I think the tallest would understand."