August 25, 2011 – The Measure of a Klingon

Summary: **Part of the 2011 LiveJournal's Twisted Shorts August Fic-A-Day** series. Klingon singing makes Lorne pine for his life on Pylea.

Challenge: for the livejournal 2011 August Fic a Day Challenge. And #6471 on TtH.

Timeline: AU for Lorne & unknown for ST: Next Generation (and a little DS9).

Warning: probably only for hardcore Trekkie fans who will hate me for messing with it.

Disclaimer: BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. Star Trek characters belong to Gene Roddenberry and various production companies. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission. Song is the Klingon Anthem: http:/ www. youtube. com/ watch?v=WBZ2MEBTYJs&feature=related.

Starship Enterprise

He didn't think any place could be worse than Pylea, so when the portal opened, Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan jumped into it without worrying about what he was getting into.

It certainly was different than he was used to. That was the understatement of the millennium – no matter which calendar you used. His dimension/planet was somewhere in the pre-industrial age from the Earth humans' way of measuring time.

The one glaring anomaly back in Pylea was the collars the human 'cows' were forced to wear. It was far beyond the technology available. At least that was the consensus of the engineer-types when he explained his society to the space travelling people…after they got over the horror that people were treated worse than slaves. Or was that the definition of slave? That they were cattle?

After assuring them that he didn't like his homeworld/dimension very much, 'Lorne' was encouraged to seek out Guinan for help in discovering his place on the ship until they could decide where he should go. She learned about his love of music and ability to read people when they performed.

That led to Talent Night in Ten Forward.

If people wanted Lorne's readings, they'd let him know, then get up and sing…or play an instrument, or even read poetry. Basically the part needed was that they put their soul into the performance. Lorne preferred singing – except for a few individuals – but Guinan and Troi pointed out that some crew and visitors were unable to sing or reserved singing for sacred times in their lives.

As his headache increased with the volume of the current group, Lorne wished that Klingons were one of those silent species. Another interesting fact he learned about himself was that he was a natural translator for any species that used sounds to communicate – a skill that would secure him a permanent spot on Picard's crew later.

Gesturing to Guinan that he needed another Romulan Ale, Lorne cursed the Klingons for their tendency to repeat the same song over and over again. This was what…the 4th time around?

Qoy qeylIs puqloD.

Qoy puqbe'pu'.

yoHbogh matlhbogh je SuvwI'

Enough was enough! He gestured for the leader to come over, which Martok did so reluctantly.

"While you may think less of Worf because he joined Starfleet…" Lorne began, biting off his instinctual habit adding a cutesy nickname to the person he was speaking to. Worf had warned him that to do so with a Klingon would either result in a fight to the death or serve as an invitation to a sexual encounter – neither of which he wanted from this Klingon. "…the day will come where he is your greatest ally. Trust him to do the honorable thing for the Empire."

A/N: I really had no plan for this ficlet other than Lorne listening to Klingons singing.

Tomorrow's (hopeful) fic: Oz/a musical that I don't want to mention 'cause it would ruin the surprise.

Translation of anthem shown:

Hear! Sons of Kahless.

Hear! Daughters too.

The blood of battle washes clean