Complete and utter darkness.
Going to hell and back.
Meeting face to face with the devil on the trip.
Being swallowed like a star sucked into a black hole.
That feeling that you will never get out.
But I did.
Name: Hinamori Amu.
Hair color: Pink.
Times I've wanted to kill myself: More than you can count on both your hands and feet.
It all started when I was 10. The drama of middle school was a mere speck in my line of depression. I don't have to explain myself to people, but I'll just say my family was brutally murdered. Came home one day, took off my shoes, and there they were. Cut up into little shreds of what they once were.
Sure I cried. I am still not entirely sure how long. Days, months, years? Who was counting? All I knew was my family was dead and I was alive. You have no idea how many times I wanted to join them.
Now you're probably thinking the usual story of "Girl's family dies and she has to live in an orphanage where the owner rapes her everyday". But that is not my story. And also the well known tale of "Well maybe she was adopted at the last second by a nice boy who was willing to become her father but turns out to be a cold-hearted man who only wanted someone to take his anger out on." But that is not my story either.
You see my story is a mournful, dismal, and sinister story of a girl who had everything up until life belted her in the face, waking her up from her dream that life was perfect in the process.
A cold, hard reality check came into my vision. And now I know the truth. Life fucking sucks. But you have to live with it.
Oh and don't get me wrong with the whole rape thing. I've been raped three times. I've learned not to struggle anymore. I don't get the knight in shining armor story. The girl who gets raped and her handsome savior beats the shit outta the guy and saves the girl. I wish. No, I get dragged into the alleyway, stripped of my clothes, and brutally fucked.
Like I said before, the cold-hearted truth.
Of course I cried the first and second time but the third I just gave up and became disgusted with myself. I couldn't even look in a shop window, forget a mirror.
But anyways, forget getting raped, that's only the highlight of my messed up life.
Now you're probably thinking "What the hell is worse than getting raped three times?" Of course if you knew my life you'd be thinking "Damn," instead.
Once again, I'm getting off topic.
What I really want to tell you all is that in my tale, Cinderella is shot in between her eyes by her step sister and buried in the back yard while the prince is dragged through the town, enclosed in a barrel of spikes. Snow White, well the dwarfs teamed up, drugged her, and raped the shit out of that girl and sent the prince across the world to find the girl hidden in the basement, gagged and tied, screaming for a man who will never save her. And don't even get me started on Belle. She thought she could live in a house with a beast? Well tell that to the people who will eventually find her bones buried under the house and blood stains where she was ripped apart by an all too familiar "prince under a curse".
So you get the point? Lesson learned: There are no happy endings. They're all a heap of bull shit. Fairy tales don't happen, and people of the male species only want you for your body. And a human punching bag.
Life never goes the way you want it. Especially my life.
This is my story. A mournful, dismal, sinister story.
And it all changed when I met him.