Darkness Within

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Blake knows there had always been a darkness within Avon. Over the time they'd spent together he'd chalked it up to many things : Avon's awkward social ineptness, his intellectual superiority, his isolation, the betrayal which it had taken so long to understand. It was only very rarely that he acknowledged Avon's greed or arrogance.

They say that love makes you blind. Today he can't even be sure that what he had with Avon really was love, not on his own part anyway. Avon had fought him every step of the way, which had kicked his own competitive streak into overdrive, determined to win. The choices had been limited – Avon or Jenna. Not like Vila or Gan were his type or would have welcomed his approaches; loyalty and belief in the cause was one thing, it stretched no further, no more personal than that.

He stands here, conceding that he iis/i going to die and it iis/i going to be at the hands of his once lover for the first time. He looks into Avon's face and knows that the man he knew has gone and it's too damn late to do a thing about it. Avon might have been fighting for the Rebellion for the last few years, he might have been trying to do the right thing, but he's not the man he used to be. There's a madness there, but more than anything else, there's the pain of betrayal.

Blake holds his gaze to the last, confessing to himself that for the way he hurt and used Avon he actually does deserve to have the man turn a gun on him. For the first time in his life, he's genuinely heartfelt sorry for something he's done. He knows now not all of his choices were ever meant with the best intentions and not everyone can brush off their hurt and look at him and see the man with a cause. Avon for one doesn't see that.

All he sees is the last person he trusted with his heart.