Between The Lines
Seeing the boy I have loved for seven years - also one of my best friends - flirt with my cousin was a sickening sight. Especially since he had been flirting with me quite a bit recently. And, to add the cherry on top of my 'misery sundae', he subsequently asked the aforementioned cousin to the Memorial Ball this year, though he'd been hinting that he was going to ask me. So, I think it came as no surprise, when Rose ran into the common room squealing that Scorpius had asked her, that I rushed out through the portrait hole. Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I ran out of the castle to the Black Lake.
That was where Scorpius - who I presumed had heard about my hasty exit - found me a half-hour later. I was no longer crying; I was just sitting there, glaring at the shimmery lake water. He tried to wrap his arm around my shoulders. I usually allowed him to, but this time I shrugged it off. He looked at me in stunned confusion.
"Dom, what's wrong?" he asked. I almost believed that he was concerned. But then I realized that it was probably an act, just like apparently everything else this year.
"You asked Rose to the ball," I stated in a monotone. My expression was blank. Scorpius could usually read me like a book, but I wouldn't let him this time. I couldn't let him this time. Not if I wanted to keep a grip on my sanity.
"Yeah. Yeah, I did." He blinked. That probably wasn't what he was expecting, but what did I care? He clearly didn't care about me. "So?"
That one simple question ignited a fire in me for some odd reason. I turned to him, hoping that my burning rage was evident in my blue eyes. I flicked my auburn hair over my left shoulder, as I am wont to do when furious. " 'So?' Is that all you have to say after asking my cousin - my best friend - to the Memorial Ball? 'So?' "
"Why do you care?" He shot back like a bullet in a Muggle gun.
I laughed in a self-deprecating manner. "After all that's happened this year, he asks why I care!" I exclaimed to him, though I know it sounded like I was talking to myself. Metaphorical ice filled my eyes as I glared at him. "You want to know why I care?" I spat, "I'll tell you why, Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy! Though I shouldn't have to, since everyone - but you and Rose, apparently - figured it out years ago. But since you're oblivious, let me clue you in: I'm in love with you, you bloody prat!"
He looked like he wanted to say something, but I carried on with my rant. "I've been in love with you since first year, when you caught me during our first Flying lesson, when I ran into a tower and was plummeting 60 metres to my death! I've loved you for all these years! I've sat by and watched, green with envy, as you went out with girl after girl after girl! I've awaited the day when it might finally be my turn!" I knew that I was crying again, but I wasn't going to let anything - least of all myself - stop me from finally getting this off my chest.
"There have been so many times when I wanted to say something, but I didn't want to ruin our friendship! But this year...this year...I thought you might like me, too. You've been flirting with me for months, and I was filled with so much hope! There were a few times when I thought you were going to ask me to the Ball, but you kept getting interrupted. And I clung to that hope, the belief that you liked me!
"But then Rose flew into the common room today, and told us all that you asked her to the Ball." I managed to stop the tears, and now I was sporting a sad smile. "It was at that moment that I knew it was over. All my hope, all my belief, all my dreams - it was all gone. In that one little instant, I became overwhelmed with depression. I ran out and came here to be alone, but you found me. And so, here we are."
I gave him - what I hoped to be - an inquiring (but upset) look. My sad smile was still on my face. "Do you know how many times I've cried over you? How many sleepless nights you've caused me? How many friends I've lost due to my jealousy, simply because they were dating you?"
He opened his mouth as if to answer, but the questions were rhetorical, so I continued. "The summer before our sixth year, I locked myself in my room for a week after you announced that you were dating Erica Lewis, and you thought she might be 'The One'. So, what do have to say for yourself, Scorpius?"
It took a minute for him to realize that I actually wanted an answer this time. "Dom...I had...no idea," is all he managed to choke out. That's probably my fault, considering that I held up a hand to stop him.
"Of course you didn't," I drawled, "But that doesn't matter. Not anymore. Because I'm going to get over you, Scorpius Malfoy. No matter how long it takes, no matter how much it hurts me, I vow to get over you. You're poison to me. You've crushed my self-esteem without even trying. No matter how much attention I receive from the male gender, it's impossible to feel good about myself when the one man I want attention from will never like me in that way.
"So I will get over you, or die trying. Because if I continue living like this for much longer, I might kill myself." I stood up, brushing grass off my uniform skirt. I didn't dare look him in the eyes as he, too, stood up, lest I found myself under his 'spell' again.
"Goodbye, Scorpius. I hope you find the happiness that you could have had with me." I stayed long enough to press a light kiss (this is the only kiss we'd ever shared) on his lips. He closed his eyes, as if expecting more. But I knew that, by the time his eyes flickered open, I would be gone.
I left school soon after that. I had a little more than two months left in my seventh year, but Professor McGonagall allowed me to take my N.E.W.T.s early, considering that my grades were exemplary. I had one of the house-elves pack my belongings while I took the tests. The afternoon after my confession to Scorpius, I was walking the path from Hogwarts to Hogsmeade for probably the last time.
I didn't leave my family - the members that were currently at Hogwarts - a note. They had no idea where I was going; neither did I. I Apparated from Hogsmeade to Shell Cottage - where I've lived my entire life - and essentially packed my bedroom into my school trunk. (Thank you, Aunt Hermione, for teaching me the Undetectable Extension Charm last summer.) I left a note for my parents (who were presumably at work), albeit a short one. I told them that I was leaving (but not my destination), and that they shouldn't worry. I'd be back eventually.
Eventually turned out to be three years later. I had only been living in Spain for three months when I received my first owl from home. It happened to be three years later than I expected, but I didn't mind...much. I was expecting it to be a tearful letter from my mother, begging me to come home. When I saw that the owl was carrying a parcel, not a letter, I thought it to be a care package (hopefully filled with Grandmum Weasley's cooking.
However, that wasn't what I found when I opened said package. Instead, I found a blue silk dress, folded neatly, with two pieces of parchment on top. I pulled out the first parchment. It was an invitation to the wedding of 'Rose Lydia Eleanor Weasley and Scorpius Hyperion Greengrass Malfoy', to be held in three days at the Hogwarts Quidditch pitch. The second parchment was a letter from Rose.
It's been three years since I last saw you. I still have no idea why you left, and neither does anyone else. We've been good, but we miss you like mad. As you now know, Scorp and I are getting married. I know you're out in the world, probably living a life of excitement, but Scorp and I would love it if you'd come back, if only for the wedding. You've always been my best friend, and it would mean so much to me if you were my Maid of Honor. You don't even have to do any of the usual duties; all you have to do is show up. Please, all I ask is that you consider it. I want you there with me on the biggest day of my life.
All my love,
The last time I had been in this particular pitch, I had sneaked in to watch Rose and Scorpius and Albus graduate. They hadn't seen me, although I'd thought for sure that I'd been caught when Scorpius was scanning the stands I was sitting in, as if he knew that I was there. And now I was here, clad in that blue silk dress, to watch Rose as married the boy that had driven me away.
I arrived just after the last bridesmaid (Lily) had begun walking down the aisle. Aunt Hermione shoved a striped-carnation bouquet into my hands before telling me to begin walking. Rose didn't even notice my presence; she was too busy looking as if she was about to boak. I kept my eyes on the presiding officiant as I walked, refusing to acknowledge the gasps from the guests. I reached my place next to Lily, across from Albus (Scorpius' Best Man), and refused to meet Scorpius' stare.
The Bridal March began, and we all turned to watch Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron walk Rose down the aisle. Her smile was nervous, but became much calmer when she saw me. Once my aunt and uncle 'gave her away', she squeezed my hand (meanwhile passing me her bouquet to hold) and whispered, "Thank you." I said nothing in reply. Tears were already falling from my eyes. They were not tears of joy.
A/N: This story was partially inspired by the song 'Beautiful' by Christina Aguilera (though I was listening to the Glee version), and by part of the story Fuel to the Fire by PleaOfInsanity (which you should read, because it's one of the best OC stories I've ever read).
It was originally just going to be a short, maybe five-paragraph, excerpt from what would have been a longer story (with snippets of Scorpius flirting with Dom, and other such things). But then I just started writing (I was hand-writing it in my bedroom), and it turned into a three-page (front and back being used) story. So, yeah.
The floral meaning of a striped carnation is "No, Refusal, Sorry I Can't Be With You, Wish I Could Be With You". Let's pretend that whoever chose the flowers for the wedding didn't know what they meant (I chose the flower for the last meaning). 'Boak' is a Northern English/Scottish slang word for 'vomit'.
We all know I love (to angst-ify) Dominique, though this Dom is a little different from my others, so here's another to add to my collection.