AN: Slightly more sexual EricAlan fic than usual. As you can see, I clearly was going to make this smut, but couldn't. XD So I spilled some wine on Eric's pants instead.
I actually wrote this purely to use the line "pretty blonde" on Eric. Read and review, hope you like.


"So, you have a good day?" Eric asked, moving Alan a little closer to him on the couch they sat on.

"It's gotten significantly better." Alan answered, leaning his head back against Eric's shoulder. "I mean, work pretty much sucked, given that I ended up doing your paperwork as well as mine." Eric laughed and kissed the side of his head.

"I'm sorry?"

"We both know you aren't actually sorry." Alan said sarcastically. "Anyway, like I said, it's gotten better."

"Oh, really?" Eric smirked, pulling Alan onto his lap. "How much better has it gotten?"

"Well, I'm sitting on a pretty blonde. Every man's dream." Alan giggled, putting his arms around Eric's neck.

"I'm pretty?" The blonde in question said, raising an eyebrow.

"Devastatingly so." Alan traced his lover's lips with a finger. Eric knocked the hand aside and brought the smaller man's head down for a kiss.

"I see. What do you men dream about doing with us pretty blondes?" His voice was husky, which Alan found extremely attractive.

"For a start, I need to get some alcohol in you..." He said, grinning. Eric loved that grin, always had.

"I could go for some alcohol." He kissed the base of Alan's neck. "How about you go get some wine?"

"What're you going to do while I'm off in the kitchen, light some candles and turn on jazz?"

"Ooh, what a dirty mind, Mr. Humphries." Eric raised an eyebrow as though he wasn't thinking the exact same thing. Alan rolled his eyes and hopped off his partner's lap, heading for the kitchen. It wasn't rare, exactly, that the two of them had a night off work-but neither of them ever seemed to tire of it.

When Alan returned with two long-stemmed glasses of wine, Eric was lounging on the couch, looking thouroughly relaxed, and, in Alan's opinion, very sexy. His fair head was thrown back across the arm of the couch, his neck extended and looking very kissable. The eyes were closed, but Alan could almost imagine them looking straight at him in that way Eric had. One hand was dangling off the couch, fingers brushing the floor, the other resting on his stomach. If Alan didn't know better, he'd say his partner was asleep. He smiled, a tender smile that would have made Eric go still and quiet for a minute before folding the younger man into his arms, had he seen it. The grin turning mischevious, he set the glasses silently on the table, walking quietly over to the couch.

Eric's eyes opened, wide, when Alan climbed onto him and laid back as though this was something he did quite often. His head resting in the crook of his lover's neck, Alan kissed the closest bit of tanned skin he could reach. Eric shivered, a pleasant thing for Alan to know he had caused.

"Ah, sweetheart, you haven't the foggiest what you've gotten into." Eric's voice was beyond husky to plainly rough with need for the man on top of him, who made the most adorable squeaking noise as Eric grabbed him and flipped their positions, an impressive feat on the couch. Alan couldn't reply, though any smart, flirty, or otherwise appropriate response flew out of his head as Eric kissed him.

"You haven't even drunk anything." Was the only answer he could think of when Eric pulled away and looked down at him with that beautiful green gaze. The tall blonde had a way about him, of focusing on Alan, and only Alan, as though the rest of the world didn't exist. It was one of Alan's favorite things about him, possibly one of the top ten on a list of what must be thousands.

"Do I need anything to want you? No." Eric answered his own question before kissing down the side of Alan's neck to his collarbones.

"Ah, Eric... can we move this, please?" Alan's slight pleading tone made Eric look up at his face again. "You're heavy." And you've got nowhere to put your weight but me on this tiny excuse for a couch. Eric shifted, grumbling.

"All right." At this point, he'd probably literally do anything for me if I just let him keep going. That being said, Alan had no intention of stopping him. As Eric moved off of him, he bumped the coffee table that had always stood in front of the couch. Alan, view blocked by his partner's body, didn't see the disaster unfold, but he heard the clink of glass on wood, a splash, and Eric's curse. "Goddammit!"

"What-oh!" A splotch of dark red was spreading over the carpet. There was also a splash of wine on Eric's pants, on the back of the upper right leg. "Oh!" Eric cursed again and stood up quickly-upsetting the second glass of wine rather spectacularly. Alan would have been laughing merely at the expression on Eric's face, but he was distracted by the rapidly expanding stain on the beige carpet. He got up from the couch and ran for the kitchen again, grabbing a dish towel.

"Ah, shi-"

"Eric, get some water." He interuppted his partner mid-curse. "And hurry, I can only do so much with this, and wine stains." He pressed the towel to the carpet, trying to draw out the dark liquid, and heard Eric exclaim again after another splash in the kitchen-the blonde had presumably spilled a large amount of water.

"I fail to see why this should ruin the mood." Eric said, reappearing with a bowl of water and another dishtowel. His white work shirt-which had been in the process of getting pleasantly crinkled-seemed to have accrued a large wet area. Alan laughed while attending to the stain on his carpet.

"You are so clumsy, Eric."

"Oh, come on, I was in a hurry." His lover defended himself. "Anyway, you should be enjoying the view, sweetheart."

"What, are you entering a wet t-shirt contest?"

"Well, I'm sure we 'pretty blondes' have an in on that." Eric couldn't help but notice how small Alan's hands were as they worked at the carpet. He'd been planning on having some fun with those hands, but the damn wine had to go and-

"In fairness, you couldn't have known I put the wine on the table."

"I knew exactly where the wine was, actually."

"OK, then, you're just a klutz." Alan finished dabbing the affected bit of the floor. "Done. Can you see the stain?"

"Not at all." Truth be told, if you knew what you were looking for, it was visible, but Eric knew that was what would get Alan back on the couch-or somewhere else, he wasn't picky, really-faster.

"Well, I hope not, because that's about as good as it's going to get." Eric picked up the bowl of water, somewhat pinkish from wine. As he was about to stand up and get rid of it-the sooner the better-Alan put a hand in it and splashed him full in the face.

"Ah!" He heard his partner's infectious giggle at his exclaimation. "You little-"

"Oh! Eric!" Alan cried as Eric poured a small amount of water on his head. Eric would have enjoyed the words, had they been said at some other time-preferably during activities Eric was intent upon participating in at some time later in the evening. He really is adorable dripping wet... "You are in so much trouble!" Dripping wet and angry.

Eric laughed and ran. He had a start on the brunette, who had to get up from the floor first, but he was also carrying a rather unweildy bowl of water. "If you can catch me!" Oh, Alan would, soon, this being a small flat-but Eric was looking forward, intensely, to his partner 'catching' him. In fact, he was quite excited about it. He rounded the corner out of the living room-perhaps he could lead Alan to the bedroom.

"Got you." He heard the younger man say quietly before arms wrapped around his waist. He started. Where the hell had Alan come from? "You're so predictable, Eric." Alan was smaller than him, not as strong, and Eric could have shook him off-but he honestly didn't want to. "Trying to lead me towards the bedroom-I know you too well for that to work." Well, damn. Alan's smaller hands snuck to the bowl in Eric's.

One large splash, and some surprised cursing later, they lay on the floor, soaked. He wiped water and strands of wavy blonde hair out of his eyes. "You are such a jerk, sweetheart."

"Says the guy who poured water on my head." Alan said, when he could take breaks from laughing.

"You started it."

"I regret nothing." Eric turned his head to look at the man next to him. Alan's hair was plastered to his head, dripping wet. Both of their white shirts looked ever-so-slightly pink, and Eric could see Alan's slim body outlined in see-through shirt material. He ran a hand through soaking hair. Ugh. Just enough wine in it to make it stickier than water.

"I'm going to take a shower." He grumbled, pushing himself up on his hands and switching to a kneeling position.

"You do that."

"And you're," Eric said, scooping Alan up off the floor, "coming with me!" Alan squeaked again, but made no protest.

Yes, Eric loved their nights off.

Showers weren't too bad, either.