Let's start with the usual disclaimer that I don't own Teen Titans. I thought you'd know that by now.
Okay, once again this little snippit is THERAPUTIC WRITING, that means I'm not trying to say gays have all the problems or any of that shit, I'm just trying to get over some of my own problems via the only way I know how - writing. As always, Jinx and Rae just seem to get the brunt force of that. (sorry about that guys). I have also decided I need to get past all this... fluffy stuff. -_- Just sayin'
She silently cursed to herself as she tried to get her thoughts and feelings under control. She glanced at the woman asleep next to her, her demonic heritage allowing her to see through the darkness just fine. The meta-human's breathing was soft and regular, escaping through slightly parted pink tinged lips, some of her cotton candy locks having fallen over her face.
Raven went to brush the stray lock behind Jinx's ear, but quickly snatched her hand back, purple eyes dropping to the bed sheets as she felt a rush of self hatred tinge her mind. She didn't quite understand what the problem was. She was more than happy being with the ex-villainess, and all her friends had accepted the news with smiles and open arms. The public eyes and the papers hadn't all been as welcoming, friendly or open minded, but Raven could deal with that. She'd learnt to ignore the press and tabloids years ago, for they'd never been particularly friendly towards the dark titan anyway.
Who's opinion did she need to worry about, she asked herself. Other than perhaps her friends, although Jinx would always argue otherwise, and say that the only opinions that mattered were her girlfriends, and Raven's own.
Parts of Raven couldn't have cared less what gender she preferred. Happy tended to like anyone, Love thought everyone deserved to find someone, no matter who they were, and Wisdom reasoned that it was as natural as anything else, since it was something that could be found all over the animal kingdom.
Of course, Raven recognised that people's opinions were what she had relied on to make her who she was today - namely the Monks of Azarath and her own mother Arella. Ever since she was a small child they had taught her the evils of being intimate with someone, especially since she was half demon; told time and time again she should never have children, or marry - or even date. She glanced back at Jinx. Of course she'd broken one of those rules. Or two.
And while they'd been strict on straight relationships, same-sex relationships were of the highest taboo; one of the highest sins, and unheard of. They'd never spoken to her about it, but they hadn't needed to, and Raven was finding the two conflicting inputs hard to deal with. After all, it was the monks who taught her how not to follow in her father's footsteps. And as much as she loved Jinx - something she thought she'd never be able to feel in the first place - a small but powerful part of herself, Timid, couldn't help believing that this was wrong; that there was some defect within herself. No doubt her old careers would just take it for more proof of the demonic blood running through her veins.
Wisdom told her that wasn't true, that the human laying next to her was proof this was a humane expression, but Wisdom didn't have much of a voice once Timid had got her choke hold on Raven.
The empath quietly slipped out from underneath the covers and moved across the room to find her discarded nightwear., not wanting to wake her girlfriend up, but feeling incredibly uncomfortable in her own skin. Not that she'd ever really been comfortable. She quickly pulled on the black cotton shorts and was in the process of finding the matching tank top when Jinx stirred behind her.
"Rae, what the hell are you doing?" Her voice was quiet and full of sleep, and the empath paused a moment, even though she knew the woman couldn't see her.
"Nothing." She started searching for her top, and hastily threw it on before making her way back over to the bed and climbing in.
"It better be nothing." Jinx mumbled as she moved to hold her girlfriend. "You know how much I- Rae why have you put your clothes on?"
Raven could hear the frown in Jinx's voice, whether she saw it or not. "I was... cold."
"In the middle of July? Try again, and no lying." She moved to switch the light on before turning to face Raven, not that the light did much to brighten the dark room.
"I don't know what you want me to say, Jinx." She said, avoiding eye contact.
"What's wrong?" The ex-villainess asked in a tender voice that had only ever been heard by Raven's ears. The other titans would have laughed at the notion of Jinx being anything close to tender.
"Nothing. I'm fine."
"Something made you uncomfortable. I want to know what." Jinx shook her head as she slowly became more alert.
"It's just... something stupid." She shook her head, worried the topic would upset her girlfriend. "It really doesn't matter."
"It does if it's bothering you." She smiled, taking Raven's hands. "And you're making me feel incredibly underdressed."
"Seriously. I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep."
"You're not having one of those 'I'm ugly' moments are you, because you're-"
"No, I haven't." Raven cut her short.
"Good. So this is a different issue?"
"I have enough of them." Raven muttered, before sighing when she realised Jinx wasn't going to give in. "It's just something to do with the way I was brought up."
"Go on." She nodded encouragingly, pink eyes locking with purple.
"You... know about Azarath. I can't... help thinking that what we're doing isn't natural." She instantly winced at her choice of words, but Jinx just pulled the woman into a hug.
"Honey, BB's attraction to tofu isn't natural. Cy's undying love for his car isn't natural." Raven smiled slightly against the meta-human's white shoulder at that. "What we have is natural. Trust me on this one."
"Told you it was something stupid." Raven mumbled.
"Actually, it is a very common thought." Jinx reassured the Demon Halfling. "That has a nasty habit of breaking couples up." She quickly slipped off the bed and donned her own nightwear before going back over and pulling the covers up as she leaned back, pulling Raven with her. "Now get some sleep, because I know that if we're tired tomorrow, all the pathetic excuses for villains will show up."
Only Jinx could make her feel comfortable in her own skin.
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