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I do not own Dragon Age or any of its characters. I also do not own "Judas" by Lady Gaga.


Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

Judas! Juda-a-a! Judas! Juda-a-a!
Judas! Juda-a-a! Judas! GA-GA!

Hawke did not see herself as a fantastic sort of being. She saw herself as flawed and imperfect as much as the next creature be it human, elf, dwarf, qunari, etc. She was not blind to her past and what she had done. When she was living in Lowtown, it was hard to live in poverty. Sometimes she did not make enough money with the smugglers. She had to do things that she was not proud of in order to feed her family. Terrible, dirty things with men. Only Bethany knew about it and she took Hawke's secret to the grave. Now that Hawke lived in Hightown, she was able to wipe herself clean. She could repent.

Another one of her flaws was her obsession with him. The face that she saw in her dreams. The eyes that she found herself looking into. The voice that whispered through her mind. The scent that she smelled whenever she was near. The object that was constantly on her mind day in and day out. And Maker knows she hated that.

"Anders, I found something...You are more likely to make use of it than me," Hawke said, proud of herself as she handed the gift to her friend.

At first he looked shocked, but then a smile indicated that he was pleasantly surprised, "You got me a gift? I hardly think I've done anything to deserve that."

Hawke was pleased at his reaction. Anders looked down to see what the present was.

He studied the gift for a second in disbelief, "Is it a...That's a Tevinter Chantry amulet." He looked up at Hawke and asked, with a slight panic in his voice, "Do you want me to get executed? It's sacrilege to wear those in any land under the Divine."

Doing her best to ignore the sudden wave of visions of Anders getting beheaded or hanged, Hawke told him, as fast as she could, "The Divine condemned their Chantry because they freed mages from the Circle. I thought you might sympathize." Hawke held her breath, hoping that Anders liked the gift.

Judas! Juda-a-a! Judas! Juda-a-a!
Judas! Juda-a-a! Judas! GA-GA!

With a smile, Hawke saw that her fears were for naught. "I like it," Anders told her. He ran his finger over the necklace and told her, "Maybe not on the outside of my clothes...I'm not that eager to face the hangman's noose." She nodded, understanding him perfectly. Anders continued, "I appreciate the thought...I never thought about what life would be like in the Tevinter Chantry." He mused for a moment before he told her, "In the Circle, they make it sound like the Void itself. The Black Divine stalking Thedas. Making it unsafe for kittens and virgins." Anders's smile made Hawke's heart jump.

Hawke giggled softly before she said, playfully, "Those kittens and virgins will just have to find a nice, strong mage to protect them..."

Anders laughed before he told her, "From what I hear about the Tevinters, that's the last thing they'd want. The virgins anyway. I never heard about any horrific kitten rituals." He frowned at the thought of his favorite animal being treated in such a way before he turned to the conversation at hand, "I appreciate the gift. Perhaps one day I could return one as meaningful."

When he comes to me, I am ready
I wash his feet with my hair if he needs
Forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain
Even after three times he betrays me

"Oh, you never have to give me a gift," Hawke smiled. She then told him, hastily, "If there is anything you ever need, Anders. Do not hesitate to ask. You are doing good work in this clinic and for mages."

Hawke was never hesitant to accept a favor for Anders. All he had to do was ask and she would do what he needed. Rescue apostates, kill templars. It was because of him that she grew so passionate about the plight and suffering of mages.

Anders sighed before he shook his head, "No...I...promised Sebastian that I wouldn't involve you in my activities anymore."

"What?" Hawke questioned. She knew that Sebastian didn't like her spending time with Anders. But it was none of his business. He did not own her.

"He wants to protect you," Anders said, "I told him you were a grown woman and could take care of yourself. But he threatened to turn me in if I didn't promise him."

Enraged that Sebastian did this, Hawke tried to keep her cool. She took in a deep breath before she said, "I will talk to him...Maker knows what I see in that man."

Nothing was said for a minute. As Hawke went to leave, Anders started, "You know, Hawke...It's not too late to change your mind. I might not be able to make you a princess, but I could give you more love than he could. And I would certainly give you the freedom to make your own decisions."

A small chuckle escaped her lips before she turned back to Anders, "We had something...And I will always treasure it, but Sebastian is who I love. He's good to me and he treats me decently. Justice is right. Your revolution is what you should be focusing on. Not me." She started to walk out of the clinic.

Ahh ah ah ah ah Ah ah ah ah
I'll bring him down, bring him down, down
Ahh ah ah ah ah Ah ah ah ah
A king with no crown, king with no crown

As soon as she turned, she felt a hand clamp around her wrist. She was turned around and she immediately felt the familiar feel of a passionate kiss. Hawke let out a moan as she gave into the kiss at first. Realizing what she was doing, she pulled away from Anders. "What are you doing?" she asked him, taking care to lower her voice.

"I'm not going to let you go again," Anders told her, "I made a terrible mistake."

"Yes...yes you did," Hawke told him as she turned and forced herself to walk away.

Almost six months ago, Anders had come on to Hawke one stormy evening in her home. Hawke, who had been infatuated with Anders since she met him, accepted his proposition and offered him herself. She wanted him and whatever came with him. Anders was the first man to sleep with her since her days of whoring. She almost starting crying at the way he treated her. So kind and gentle, but passionate and dominate. When the night ended, Anders had a terrible spell with Justice. The episode last for nearly an hour before Anders finally regained full control of his body. But Hawke had seen enough. She heard every hurtful insult from Justice. Sick and delusional from what had occurred, Anders left Hawke without any explanation.

As soon as he left, Hawke had dressed herself and gone to the Chantry. Sobbing and praying, she ran through the rain and thunder until she reached the building. Collapsing on the stairs, she begged for forgiveness and a cure for her stupidity. It was then that she felt a pair of strong arms pick her up. She looked up to see that it was Sebastian. He carried her into the Chantry and he took her into his room. He laid her down in the bed and simply held her hand as she cried. And there, a relationship started.

Sebastian was her Prince Charming, her White Knight, whatever name you could think of.

Anders was an abomination, a revolutionary, a selfish man who would never put her before mages.

But these cold, hard facts did not change the way she felt.

I'm just a Holy Fool, oh baby, it's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
I'm just a Holy Fool, oh baby, it's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby