Description: "Notice how the male creature is slowly leaning toward the female one, unaware that he has chosen her to be his mate. This is the moment we've been waiting for. Oh wait, did she just—" Rimahiko. One-shot.
A/N: The italicized sentences in quotation marks are the words of a narrator, and this is AU. No charas. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Watching his partner through camera lenses, a teenage boy used his left hand as a signal for his partner to speak.
"Today, we're observing the behavior of two fascinating yet complicated creatures," an excited girl started, putting on a safari hat that matched her beige explorer outfit. "We will be focusing on the interaction of these two living mammals in a desolate area at Seiyo High, where the pair is mostly found. But before we could study them, we needed background information, so we asked the locals on this topic. Here's what they had to say…"
Souma Kukai – Third Year
Profession: Soccer Captain
"I think these two 'creatures'," Kukai airquoted, "should get together already. It's obvious they're into each other. I support them." The athletic teen gave a thumbs up.
Hinamori Amu – Second Year
Profession: Cool n' Spicy student
"They look so cute together!"
The pink-haired student widened her eyes, realizing what she had exclaimed. She looked at her surrounding. Various students in the school hallway were staring at her oddly. "Er, I have better things to do. Later," she coolly stated, walking away.
Echoes of 'Cool n' Spicy!' were heard.
Hotori Tadase – Second Year
Profession: Self-proclaimed King
"I'm sure that they don't hate each other, but on the other hand… if you elect me to be your class President—"
Nikaidou Yuu – Faculty
Profession: History Teacher
"Ah yes, the quarrelling dyad. They never pay attention to my 'oh-so-intriguing' lectures. They always pass notes to each other behind my back. Here, I'll read one to you."
The messy-haired teacher pulled out a note from his folder and cleared his throat, "Ahem, the girl said, 'You idiot, please do the world a favor and cut your hair.' His response was, 'Why? Is it so distracting? It seems you can't keep your eyes of it'. She says, 'Puh-lease, my hair is way better than yours. Besides, I—'"
The teacher put the note away as he announced, "The note ends there since I caught them, but most of them are amusing to read. They remind me of my wife and me."
Hoshina Utau – Third Year
Profession: Teen Idol
"Ugh, those two should make out already!" the blonde yelled as she slammed a fist on her desk. "Capture a video of them passionately making out and send it to me. I will post it on my website for everyone to see."
Tsukiyomi Ikuto – Third Year
Profession: School Heartthrob
"Who am I talking about?" the seventeen year old asked, leaning on a wall. "Oh, right. The cross-dresser and the clown kid… those two are in denial, just like Amu was when she first saw me. We all knew she had the hots for me."
Yamabuki Saaya – Second Year
Profession: Loud Mouth
"I'm going to be on TV! Why didn't you tell me earlier? I need my make-up done now!"
"Indeed, they are an interesting duo, for they have created Seiyo High's unsolvable question: Are they in love? And if they are—ah, here comes our female subject."
Hiding behind some nearby bushes and a tree, the talking girl spotted her subject who was a short blonde teen that sat quietly on a bench. She opened a book and started reading.
"Let's get a closer look," the narrator motioned the cameraman to step forward. They both tip toed to their destination. "She seems to be reading of what looks like a gag manga," the speaker declared, examining with her small binoculars that she pulled out of her pocket. "For now, let's call her Rima," she said into the camera.
Rima flipped through several pages and let out a laugh—a loud one.
"Watch how she closes her eyes and holds her stomach as she formulates resonant sounds of happiness."
The testee's laughter died down, and soon, a male student appeared behind her.
"Here comes our other subject. Let's call him Nagihiko," the orator whispered as her partner focused the camera to the suspicious indigo-haired teen. "Look at the way he is calmly making his way toward the blonde girl, and his hair! It's such a beautiful sight. Both of our subjects have marvelous flowing locks."
Nagihiko was crouching behind the brown bench.
"What will he do next? Scare her perhaps? Let's observe."
The tall boy moved closer, but stopped when he suddenly felt an ache on his head.
The cameraman and his partner winced, "Ooh! I guess Nagihiko's tactic of scaring the girl didn't work. She smacked him on the head with her book. Ouch."
"Rima-chan," the victim groaned, rubbing his head, "when did you get so strong?"
"What do you want this time?" Rima stood on her feet, staring at Nagihiko as he got up.
Nagihiko grinned while Rima frowned. "I just don't want you to be alone," the male finally said, tucking his hands in his pant's pockets.
"He doesn't want her to be alone? Looks like the male has some sort of longing for the female. Does he have a romantic connection with her?"
"Shouldn't you be pleasing your fan girls?" the long-haired blonde inquired with annoyance, setting her book on the bench.
"Rima is demonstrating signs of jealousy!"
"Rima-chan, are you jealous?" Nagihiko playfully expressed.
"Nope, my fan boys outnumber your fan girls," she declared proudly, keeping her chin up.
"Yes, but you're forgetting something, Ri-ma." Said girl arched a brow, and he smirked—not like Ikuto's playboy smirk. Nagihiko's was more innocent looking. "You're not counting my fan boys, or should I say, Nadeshiko's fan boys."
Rima snickered, "Oh, so you still like to cross-dress?" Nagihiko gave her a don't-go-there look. "Skirts, dresses and make-up are so much fun! Why wouldn't a guy like to act as a girl?" she sarcastically remarked, twirling her golden hair.
The boy in front of her didn't say anything; instead, his face lightly exposed evidence of hurt.
"Poor Nagihiko. The female is executing a clever act: getting under his skin. Astounding."
"Ooh, did I strike a nerve? Is poor, little Nagi hurt by the superior Mashiro Rima?" she teased him in a childish way. "Why don't you ask one of your air-headed fan girls to comfort you?"
The silent boy narrowed his eyes at his bully.
"How do they act again? Something like this…" Confidently, Rima walked up to him in a sensual manner.
Nagihiko was a bit taken aback by her sudden behavior, but he didn't let it show on his face.
"Nagi-sama," she started casually, "why are you so handsome?" She put a hand on his chest, sending a tingling feeling to the boy. Rima used her other hand to play with his soft hair.
"And what about your fan boys? How are they? Something like this…" Nagihiko cupped her face, saying, "Rima, my Queen, you're so beautiful."
"Nagi, kiss me. I can't live without your love!" she voiced dramatically, clutching the front of his school uniform.
In the background, the blushing onlookers had their mouths agape at the sudden change of character. They couldn't tell whether the two were making fun of each other or acting, as an excuse to flirt.
Nagihiko tucked a blonde strand of hair behind Rima's ear and gradually dipped his head down.
The mute speaker broke her silence, "Notice how the male creature is slowly leaning toward the female one, unaware that he has chosen her to be his mate. This is the moment we've been waiting for. Oh wait, did she just—"
In a matter of seconds, Nagihiko slightly tumbled forward, but he quickly went into his previous upright position.
Rima had a grin that clearly spelled out, victory.
"You treat your fans like that, Rima-chan? How mean," Nagihiko murmured, pretending to sound hurt.
"You're in love with one of your fan girls? How pathetic," Rima retorted, scrunching her face in disgust.
"They're moving closer. I think there's a magnetic attraction occurring. It sounds really geeky, but it's such an amazing view."
"In love with a fan girl?" Nagihiko smiled. "Yes, I am."
Before Rima could say anything, the cross-dresser had claimed her lips and slowly backed her into nearby tree, where their audience was closely watching.
"Gasp. They're kissing! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a breakthrough," the narrator squealed in a whispered tone, helping the blushing camera-holder from dropping their precious documentary. "See the way their lips are moving in synchronization. It's like they were made for each other."
"Wait," Rima broke the heated kiss, "If you're in love with this 'fan girl', why did you kiss me?"
The explorer facepalmed herself. "… Rima is too dense! She is the fan girl!" she yelled, a little too loudly, causing the couple to turn their heads at the source.
"Oh, no! They're looking this way. They've spotted us! We have been discovered. I repeat, we have been discovered!"
"Yaya! Kairi! Are you recording this?" the short blonde growled, approaching the stunned pair.
"We have interrupted their natural habitat, and the female creature looks far beyond enraged. Retreat!"
"Why are you talking like that? You've been spending too much time with Kairi. Get back here, Yaya!"
"Run, Kairi, run! And don't turn off the camera!"
"I'm sorry, Rima-tan!" Yaya yelled out, breaking out of her professional persona.
Fujisaki Nagihiko sweatdropped.
"What were you guys doing? Making a naughty movie?" Ikuto and friends came from behind.
"You did? Send me the video!" Utau ran after the three running students, dragging her boyfriend with her. "We have to catch them, Kukai!"
The school's heartthrob wolf whistled, and his girlfriend giggled. "So, are you and Rima together now?" Amu nudged her friend, who blushed in response.
Nagihiko sighed, "Rima is too oblivious."
"So… in conclusion… from what we've currently witnessed… we have determined that here in the wild… the creatures that go by names of Nagihiko and Rima are secretly… deeply in love," Yaya managed to let out in between breaths, leaning on a wall for support. "Stop shaking the camera, Kairi. Don't drop it; this is pure gold! It's worth more than two giant bags of candy."
"Sorry, Yaya-san," the green-haired boy apologized, catching his breath.
The sound of a twig snapping in two was heard, making Yaya and her partner flinch. "Finally, I found you two," Rima coldly verbalized, pointing a finger at them.
"Run! … And never, I repeat, never…"
"Yaya-san, she's caught me! Take the camera!"
"… ever disturb these two lovebirds!"
I apologize for the OOC-ness, but I think that love makes people do crazy things. Hehe.
Anyways, I got this idea after watching a Geico commercial, the one where they are parodying David Attenborough, the famous wildlife filmmaker. I put a link on my profile if you're curious to see it; it's only thirty-one seconds long. I actually imagined Yaya talking in the same accent as the guy in the commercial.
So, I hope you guys liked it and hope you review. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.