Isolation

AN: Soooo. Yeah. I've gotten into the Homestuck-fandom and I fell pretty damned hard for most characters. Even more for Gamzee and Karkat. Especially pairing them up. Heh... XD
Anyway, hope you'll enjoy this! It's AU (as said in the summary), they're more humans than trolls, haha. And I'd say that Gamzee and Karkat are about 16-18 in this one, not entirely sure yet.

Warnings: AU, mentions of noncon/rape, language, a bit of OOCness, eventual violence
Thanks to: chapette, for beta-reading! :D


Chapter 1

It was about 3 am at night when the all too familiar sound of someone trying to reach him sounded from his laptop. Karkat threw a glance at the illuminated screen, he couldn't see who it was who had written to him, he was simply too far away from the computer.

He didn't really feel like bothering with crawling over to it, he wanted to stay in fetal position on the floor and just make everything go away. That was at least what he wished for; he wanted everything to go away.

His life. His feelings. The things that had happened. The world. Everything. Well, perhaps it would be cruel of him to think like that. So he'd settle with everything in his own world vanishing. His existence alone. Just because Karkat's life sucked it didn't mean he had to condemn everyone, even if it would feel a bit better.

After a few minutes of just silent self-loathing another ping was heard from the computer. It seemed that whoever it was writing to him was a persisting stubborn little fuck. Because as the minutes passed Trollian kept making those beeping noises, indicating that the person writing was not about to stop.

With a deep sigh Karkat pushed himself up in sitting position, grimacing a bit as his aching limbs protested at the movement. But he ignored the pain and pretty much crawled over to his laptop which was on the floor next to a pillow. He didn't even remember signing in on Trollian during the day. Perhaps his computer had automatically rebooted and thus automatically logged him in? Who knew. With a sigh he clicked the blinking box, bringing up the so far one-sided conversation.

- terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 03:03 -

[03:03] TC: hEeEeY bRo :o)

[03:04] TC: wHaT's GoInG oN?

[03:04] TC: i HaVeN't MoThErFuCkInG hEaRd FrOm YoU fOr DaYs

[03:05] TC: I hEaRd YoU hAvEnT fUcKiN bEeN iN sChOoL eItHeR

[03:06] TC: jUsT wOrRyInG aBoUt My MoThErFuCkInG bEsTfRiEnD :o)

[03:08] TC: If YoU aRe IgNoRiNg Me It AiN't CoOl At AlL bRo :o(

[03:15] TC: kAaAaAaAaRrRrRrRkAaAaAaAtTtT

[03:15] TC: hOnK

[03:15] TC: hOoOoOoOoOoOoOnK

[03:22] TC: :o(

[03:27] TC: bRo, If YoU dOn'T rEpLy I'lL fUcKiNg HaVe To CoMe OvEr AnD sEe To ThAt YoU aReN't MoThErFuCkInG dEaD!

[03:27] TC: wOuLdN't Be CoOl If My BeStFrIeNd DiEd JuSt LiKe tHat

Karkat couldn't help smiling a little bit. It was his friend Gamzee, best friend if you asked Gamzee. And it was probably true. Who else cared about Karkat anyway? Everyone else just wanted to get something out of him. He had always been the loner at school, sitting in the back of the classroom attentively listening to the teacher or just spacing out a bit. No one gave him much trouble, and he didn't mind. But Gamzee was another story... He had at first forced his presence upon Karkat, and by time he had grown fond of the stoned clown.

But his smile soon died down, depressing thoughts flooded his mind again and he sighed as he noted that he got a new message. Again.

[03:29] TC: HaNg On FrIeNd. GaMzEe Is AbOuT tO hEaD oVeR aNd SaVe ThE fUcKiNg DaY. DoN't Be MoThErFuCkInG dEaD oR sOmEtHiNg BrO!

Karkat blinked and quickly put his fingers on top of the keyboard. Gamzee would for sure come all the way to his apartment; the clown was impulsive and stupid enough to do something like that. And Karkat did not want his friend to get beaten up by some gang in the middle of the night. Karkat knew all too well to not walk in his neighborhood at night.

[03:30] CG: no you're not heading over i'm alive you idiot

With that he hit enter and just hoped that Gamzee hadn't had time to leave his own place. The gods knew that Gamzee Makara would go out stark naked if he had a goal in mind and wanted to hurry. Karkat was sure it was the drugs fault. He almost hoped it was the drugs fault... otherwise Gamzee was just plain fucking crazy.

But he was still Karkat's only friend. And a non-crazy Gamzee wouldn't be Gamzee, right?

[03:31] TC: bRoThEr! I wAs GeTtInG rEaLlY wOrRiEd, WhAt'S fUcKiNg HaPpEnInG? :o)

[03:32] CG: wallowing in despair, self-loathing, hate, rage at the world. usual crap and stuff i don't wanna talk about.

There was no reason denying what he was up to. And Karkat had no energy at all to even lie. He was just too fucking tired to come up with something, Gamzee would probably see through him either way. Which would just make things more dramatic. Even though Gamzee was quite a chill guy who didn't always seem very smart... he could for sure figure out stuff no one else could.

[03:33] TC: mAaAn, ThAt SoUnDs LiKe SoMe DeEp ShIt.

[03:34] TC: i CaN cOmE oVeR aNd We CaN tAlK aBoUt YoUr FeElInGs. i'Ll AlWaYs Be HeRe FoR a BrO iN nEeD, hOnK :o)

Karkat rolled his eyes and mentally groaned at the suggestion. Oh god not another session lying in a pile of pillows and blankets talking about his buried feelings... He had lost count of how many times Gamzee pretty much had forced him to open up about stuff he was keeping bottled up. And sure, it usually felt better afterwards... but he didn't want to talk this time.

Why would he want to bring something up that made him feel horrible? And what would Gamzee say? What if he would throw Karkat aside and not wanted to be friends any longer?

Sure, Karkat had been used to being alone. And as said, he hadn't minded. But that was before Gamzee fucking Makara nestled him into Karkat's life and decided to stay there.

"I'm staying bro, cause I'm fucking chill and I don't feel like leaving. Hope that's fine with you motherfucker, cause your fucking couch is much more comfy than mine."

Man that had been awkward. They had been paired together for a stupid project in school. As they got home to Karkat he realized that it wouldn't work. There was no way in hell Karkat was letting that stupid idiot ruining his grade. Karkat had tried to send Gamzee home, but that was when he had refused.

And it turned out that Gamzee wasn't such a stupid stoner as Karkat had first thought. He was pretty smart when he put his mind to it, and that was when a strange friendship started to take form. And now Karkat couldn't imagine his life without Gamzee.

But you did kind of contemplate suicide a while ago, Karkat...

Yeah, right. His existence which he wanted to erase. But man, that wasn't really fair, was it?

[03:36] CG: no gamzee. i don't want to talk. i don't want anything right now.

[03:36] TC: AwWw MaN. sOmEtHiNg Is SeRiOuSlY wRoNg WiTh YoU. i ShOuLd ReAlLy CoMe OvEr. We CaN eVeN wAtCh ThOsE fUcKiNg RoMcOmS yOu LoVe So DeArLy. EvErY fUcKiNg OnE yOu OwN iF yOu WaNt To, BrO :o)

It was really sweet of Gamzee to try and cheer him up like that, even offering to watch Karkat's huge collection of romcoms along with him even though he hated them. Or well, Gamzee didn't really hate them, he just didn't see them the way Karkat did.

Man why couldn't his life just be a bit more like one of those romcoms? Sure there usually was a bit of drama and shit, but the happy endings... Karkat wanted his own happy ending, but he couldn't see one no matter how hard he tried to imagine it.

[03:37] CG: sorry gamz but i don't want to do anything. just cease to fucking exist or something like that.

[03:37] CG: don't worry about me.

[03:38] TC: man, you do realize you're just fucking worrying me even more now, huh?

[03:38] TC: i'm coming over whether you motherfucking like it or not, bro. can't call myself your best friend otherwise :o)

- terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased trolling carcinoGenticist [CG] at 03:38 -

Karkat just sat there staring at the screen, noting how Gamzee skipped his annoying writing style and then suddenly went offline. In a matter of seconds his friend would be walking out his door, no doubt forgetting to lock it, it was a damned miracle that no one had robbed him yet... And in 20 minutes or so he would be at Karkat's place.

The teenager cursed under his breath as he sat up properly and looked around in his living room.

It was a fucking mess. He hadn't been cleaning for days. There were several romcoms scattered around on the floor, he had really tried to cheer himself up by watching them, but he had just ended up making himself more miserable. Pillows and blankets were also scattered around, he had just been lying there on the floor, sleeping or watching movies. Or staring into the ceiling.

Had he even been eating? As he thought of it he heard his stomach growl. Perhaps he hadn't. He had kind of lost track of time. How many days had even passed since he had locked himself away from the rest of the world?

Fuck, he probably looked like a wreck. And he was a wreck. And he smelt pretty bad as well.

He let out a miserable moan as he sank down to the floor once more, curling up into fetus position and hugging his own legs. He couldn't bother making himself or the room look presentable. It wasn't as if Gamzee would care, the guy's place was a fucking junkyard.

"Why the fuck do you have to be so fucking stubborn, Gamzee?" Karkat asked himself as he pulled a blanket over his head.

As he was about to close his eyes he could feel his phone vibrate in his pocket. Tiredly he reached for it and squinted as the bright screen blinded him.

From: Gamzee
hAnG iN tHeRe :o)

Karkat smiled weakly and put his phone down. Yeah, he would hang in there. What else could he do? He could only wait. Wait for his stubborn best friend to arrive and try to fix the broken mess he had become.


AN: Pretty short but what the heck. I've done my share of long-ass chapters for other fanfics already, I'll just go with whatever I feel like with this story XD
Hope you enjoyed! And I apologize if you find Karkat too out of character, but he's going through a hard time in this fic.
It feels really strange to write Karkat not writing in caps, haha.

Anyway, please leave a review if you feel like it! Always nice to see what people think :)