We're baaaaaaaack!

Okay so this one is going to be particularly weird. Mostly this came from a need to do a Kenshin and Kaoru cooking omake but not having enough time to write one. Worse yet we had no way to format it. That was when I realized that I was reading a lot of Dr. Seuss lately. This is the product of having a two-year-old. I'm enjoying his books and he's practicing his Gatotsu. Calger started to read the Seuss book Scrambled Egg Super! and page after page kept ringing of Kenshin characters…and we just couldn't stop ourselves ;) On with the madness!

Scrambled Rurouni Super

By Calger459 and Ranma1517730129

"Kenshin, I want you to help me with something."

Kenshin looked up from his laundry curiously. He'd gotten started early this morning, the day was already hot and muggy and the sun was barely over the treetops. He'd been unable to sleep the previous night; it had simply been too hot. It was about to get hotter.

"Oro??"

He couldn't see Kaoru…just a leg sticking out of the shoji door. A very bare leg. "Umm…Kaoru-dono? What are you doing?"

"Well, actually, what I really need is your opinion on something…"

Kenshin's nose had started to tingle ominously. He tried to ignore it. "Opinion? On what?"

Kaoru came completely around the corner, fully dressed, her kimono hitched up in back to ward off the heat. She looked fresh from the battlefield, covered in sweat and soot, her hair completely mussed and half out of its ponytail. In one hand was a large frying pan…with a lump of something unidentifiable and vaguely yellow inside it.

Kenshin sweatdropped as she presented it to him. "I really really need your opinion on this. I was making it special since early this morning…so what you think?"

Kenshin's eye twitched. The thing in frying pan was past burnt…it had passed burned hours ago. Years ago. Decades even… "Um, how many hours ago was this Karou-dono?" Kenshin swore the lump twitched as well. Wait…did it have…Ken-ki?

No, no, that was Kaoru. "Aren't you even going to try it?

Kenshin's sweatdrop got bigger. "What is it?"

Kaoru's eyes were dangerous. She had those ominous "Jine-e" eyes again. "It's a scrambled egg, Kenshin."

"Oh." Kenshin's stomach gave the shaking lump an appraising look, then cowered in a corner whimpering. "Kaoru-dono…I think it's time I finally taught you."

"Really? But I thought you never taught Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu!"

"No Karou-dono…not that. Something else." Kenshin cleared his throat, a strange look on his face. His next words were decidedly odd and…poetic. "I don't know how to brag or to boast," said Kenshin (Rurouni),

But in this dojo I cook the most

And speaking of kitchens and soba and sake

And kettles and stoves and a little omake,

Well, I don't like to brag but I'm telling you, Miss

That speaking of cooks, I'm the best that there is!

Why only last Tuesday while you were all out

I really cooked something worth talking about!"

Now Kaoru's eye twitched. "Did you just call me 'Miss'? And what's with the rhyming? What on earth are you talking about?!"

Kenshin gave a small, strangely Buddha-like smile. "It's really quite simple." Kenshin casually draped his arm over a stunned Karou's shoulders and steered her towards the smoky kitchen, tossing the frying pan over his shoulder into the bushes. "You see," said Kenshin as he was de-smoking the range, "if you fed that to someone you'd give them the mange."

"Kenshin no BAKA!" wailed Kaoru with rage. "Don't talk to me like you're some kind of a sage! Teach me then if you're some kind of a smartie!"

Battousai picked up a pan. "Come on then, let's party."

"Kenshin, gyaaah! You're eyes are all gold!"

Kenshin hit himself. "Yeah, this is getting quite old….de gozaru."

Kenshin leapt to the cupboard in one even gait, fetching forth two eggs which he placed on a plate. With a pan in the left hand and the plate in the right, "I'll teach you to cook if it takes me all night. We'll start with an egg 'cause they're easy and small." Then Kaoru saw Yahiko walk down the hall.

"Hey busu! What'cha up to? What's that awful burning smell? I'm asking you cause' I know Kenshin doesn't burn stuff."

Kenshin and Kaoru gave him a bland look.

"You broke up our rhyme scheme."

"Your what?"

Kenshin sighed. "Forget it. As I was saying:

Two hens' eggs will be the tools of our trade

I'll walk you through slowly on how these are made."

"A hen's egg, how droll! When in reality, what you need is an egg with some personality!" Yahiko blinked. "Dude, did I just rhyme that?"

"Welcome to the club," Kaoru answered with a smile. "It's been that kind of day."

"Full of wit and guile," Kenshin chimed in helpfully.

"Just a plain common hen, what a dumb thing to use,

with all of the other fine eggs you could choose!" Yahiko squared his shoulders, looking quite cocky.

"Exactly," said Kenshin.

So the Gumi decided that just for a change they'd scramble a new kind of egg on the range.

On with the egg hunt…

Notes: Um yeah, okay, so we're both sitting here sick (lovely eye infections thanks to a certain two-year-old child) and so officially yes, we've taken leave of our senses. Aren't you glad? Yes there's a part 2 on the way, this'll be our first multi-part Omake fic (whooooooo! @_@x) *Ranma makes circles in the air by her temple… the meaning isn't lost on Calger- chan.* Riiiiight, anyway, we hope you like it so far please please review! Some of the material was contributed by Eric-san, the reluctant poet (and husband to Ranma ^_^) Arigatou!