Hello all! For those of you who subscribed to me as an author update, sorry it's taken so long! I've somehow gotten into the habit of posting on LiveJournal and not on here. I'm trying to rectify that.

If you're new to me/this fic welcome! I hope you enjoy it! It was written in response to a prompt at the LJ group lureficresource: the lyrics "Darling heart, I loved you from the start." - Hardest of Hearts by Florence and The Machine. The style turned out a bit different than I usually write, but I hope you don't find it jarring.

Disclaimer: I don't own it anything you recognize and I'm not making any money from it.


When Luke asks Reid when he fell in love with him, the doctor doesn't hesitate in his response.

"The first time we met."

Instead of love, all Luke feels is guilt. Guilt for not having the same instantaneous connection, guilt for having been too blinded by Noah to truly see Reid has he apparently had seen Luke. Looking back, Luke can't find a moment in the beginning when his hatred was actually a mask for more amorous feelings.

"This is the part where you tell me," Reid whispers and Luke realizes he's been silent in his thoughts too long. Luke shrugs, his skin still slick from sweat rubbing against Reid's equally slippery limbs. He stares at the ceiling, at their tangled feet, at the clock; anything but Reid's eyes because he knows when he does, Reid will know and Reid will be disappointed. And Luke fears he has disappointed Reid too many times for them to survive another.

"Luke." The word is too sharp and too understanding. Fingers that had not long ago brought him to the edge with skillful strokes now press the underside of his chin, forcing Luke's eyes up. He falls into those striking blue eyes for a moment, sighing as he realizes he can't delay this. He brought it up, after all.

"In the elevator," he says simply and can see the memory flash before Reid's eyes. "I had never seen so much of you before. You let me in, and I knew I was one of the only ones you let see that side of you. And I knew then I wasn't going to be able to let you go."

A small smile lights up Reid's face, open and trusting as it only is with Luke. He places a chase kiss on Luke's lips, still swollen from the doctor's more passionate attention earlier in the evening.

Reid pulls Luke to him, their bodies molding together as though they were pieces of a puzzle made to belong only to each other. Warm breath cascades down Luke's neck as Reid falls asleep, leaving Luke alone with his tumbling thoughts.

With Noah it had been instant sparks: the moment they touched, he knew. With Reid it had been slow, the anticipation of it resulting in a pleasurable combustion. Yet, after everything he has gone through with both men, Luke falls asleep not knowing which is better.


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