When he was young he didn't understand it. He didn't understand how he knew what he knew, and he knew he shouldn't know what he knew. When he was young he knew he was different, after all if he was normal he wouldn't have to seek to make the mistakes of the past right.
As he grew, as would his understanding, he would come to understand how and why he knew this why he had these dreams. No dream was the wrong word for it, they were more than that they were memories. Memories of a different time, and a different place, but most of all a different life.
A life of hatred of kin, a life of loneliness and a path so very different from the road that he was meant to take. It was a terrible life, one that was spent on revenge instead of love, and hatred instead of friendship.
But he learned, with each one.
There were memories of a brother who killed for peace, one who made himself a villain when he should have been a hero, one who loved his younger brother more than his home, more than his own life. From this he learned that he should treasure his brother more than anything. He would not make the same mistake. Itachi would live this time.
There were memories of a blonde who was hated for something he had no control over, who had a dream that he strove for, memories of a bond that no matter what he did he couldn't break. He learned from this that when he found the dobe in this life time, he wouldn't try to break the unbreakable bond that all brother's share, not this time.
And there were memories of a beautiful girl who loved him, who thought the world of him even though he did nothing to deserve it, a girl who he tried to kill him but couldn't do it, and a girl he killed because she was his one weakness, the one thing he loved.
He learned from each one, and slowly he started to try and set it right, to make up for the mistakes that his past life had made. Because maybe he couldn't fix the broken bonds that was team seven because that was not this life. But he could make sure history would never repeat, things would be different this time around. Because they had to be.
And slowly things came together.
He met the dobe again in the third grade. He was loud and obnoxious and still shouted his dreams out to everyone, and anyone who would listen. He was still blonde and still had the whiskers on his cheeks. And he was still his best friend.
Itachi was still his brother but he was much different than the Itachi from the memories, he was happy and he was less stressed. He still had a had a bad habit of poking Sasuke on the forehead and telling him, to wait for next time. But this time there was no death, or deception and things were right. And okay.
And as for the beautiful girl he still hadn't found her again, he was sixteen and she still hadn't came back into his life, and he was scared, so freaking scared that she would never come back. And as he remembered what his past-self had done to her he figured it was karma coming back to bite him in the ass.
After all she had cried for him, and he had only pushed her away, she had jumped in front of blows for him and he had in turn tried so hard to kill her. She had yelled and screamed how much she loved him, and he had stood there and knocked her out.
He decided, at that moment he hated the man that he once was in a different time. And swore to never be him again.
He also decided that it would be justified if he never saw her in this life or the next, because a soul can only take so much before, there's just too much damage done. And there was enough damage between them, to last several life times and then some.
Maybe that's why he was so surprised when he saw the flash of pink on that crowded bus. Normally he wouldn't get excited about it, because these day's there were far too many who imitated her natural locks. But this time it was different, this was a shade of pink that no bottle could ever dream to reproduce.
This hair was pink with natural blond and red strands inlaid, and it was cut in a short cut that was so similar to his last memory of her, that he had to blink back the tears. He drunk in her appearance, she was dressed in a pair of jeans and a dark blue shirt and she was safe and whole and so, so beautiful.
He watched her for awhile, re-memorizing the things he would have thought were annoying if he was in a different time, but it wasn't then and it was now and he memorized the way she shook the hair behind her ears, and the way she closed her eyes slightly before sighing and turning around.
And shocking him with the emerald eyes he only saw at night in his dreams.
Finally her stop came and she stood to leave, she hesitated and turned back to where he was stills staring at her. But she started down the steps and he realized he couldn't let her walk away.
NO! He just couldn't let her walk away he had waited far too long for this, to see her in real life, and not in the dreams and memories of another. He wanted memories of her all of his own; he wanted to apologize even though she might not know why he was saying it.
Even if he had let her watch him walk away, he couldn't watch her walk away from him, he had waited far too long for this. So he flew down the steps after her "WAIT!" she looked back and broke out into a run. He wasted no time in flying after her.
She looked back again and sped up, and Sasuke thanked god for the track team, otherwise he may not have been able to keep up with her. She turned a corner and he had to speed up even more just to keep her in sight.
"WAIT SAKURA!" she slowed to a walk before turning slowly around to stare at him with wide emerald eyes. "H-how do you know my name?" she questioned her voice quivering. He slowed to a walk next to her, he leaned over his hands on his knees, panting "you sure can run Sakura."
"Answer me how do you know my name" he straightened up "you don't remember do you, then again the dobe only remembered flashes and Itachi remembered nothing" she looked at him fearfully "look mister, I don't know you so if you would please just leave me alone."
"NO!" he yelled and grabbed her wrist "you can't leave, not when I just found you again, you can't walk away" she frowned "look I carry pepper spray with me at all times…" but she trailed off when he laughed.
"I'm not going to rape you, that's something I would never do in this life time; however I can't say the same for my last." She looked at him strangely "look I just want to….err I don't know what to say…I've been preparing for this for so long…" she put a hand on his shoulder "what are you so desperate for?"
He looked up "I'm desperate to make it right, to fix the mistakes" her eyes softened "what mistakes" he looks up his eyes dark and broken and confused. And she takes his hand even though she doesn't even know his name. (But deep down she knows, oh she knows)
"Come on my mom's apartment is just around the block we can talk there, since you apparently know me." She leads him down the street. Into a building and up the stairs before pulling a painted key from around his neck "you still paint your keys" she nodded slowly and opened the door leading him inside.
Minutes later their sitting in a brightly lit kitchen steaming mugs of tea in their hands and their staring at each other "how do you know me" Sasuke sighs "have you ever felt like you knew things others didn't?" She stared at him "what do you mean?"
"Have you ever known someone before you met them" she stares at him before a name come whispering up from the depth of her mind and she's not sure how but she knows that's his name. "I've known your name since before I could walk, Sakura" and she takes a sip of tea before she speaks.
"Your name's Sasuke isn't it?" he nods and smiles "you remember" she shakes her head "no, but I feel like I should" and he smiles and there's something so broken about it "no you shouldn't, you shouldn't even be able to stand being in my presence long enough to speak to me."
And she realizes that he never answered her question "how do you know me" and maybe he's brave or maybe he's stupid, oh so stupid but he speaks anyway "I knew you in the last life, and I've been searching for you for ages now in this one."
And maybe she's a little stupid because common sense seems to be telling her to throw him out the door because this was strange, and far too dangerous, and she somehow knows this man, and she feels emotions for him that she knows aren't her own. But she doesn't throw him out instead she says "I loved you didn't I?" and he smiles and it's brimming with bitterness "and I killed you, because I felt the same." If they had been anyone else she would have said they were crazy.
But there was something so honest about him that she knew he wasn't crazy "if that's true then why have you been searching for me?" she asks and he's quite for a moment "because I'm not him. I'm not who I was back then." And somehow she believes him: and although the image is ever so hazy she can see the moment when he killed her, can still see tears that drip from red eyes, and because she believes him she stands and hugs him.
"I don't believe you're him; you wouldn't betray me would you?" And he smiles "no, never" and she smiles "well then, I believe we have some catching up to do, and maybe you can help me remember." He nods and speaks and they talk and smile and laugh and maybe they're not who they once were.
Maybe their love story won't be so complex and maybe it will never be as dramatic or tragic as their last lives were, maybe it won't be a legend, but they are here and they are together. And maybe they aren't in love yet, but if there anything like they were once, they will be.
"Sasuke-kun, you can kill me" she says panting dropping her katana and spreading her arms "but remember we will meet again" and he's too far gone to be saved no matter what Naruto says, but there's a part of him that doesn't want this.
And there's a part of him that prays and clings to her words "it won't be in this life, but we will meet again" and she smiles as his katana pierces her chest blood dripping from her lips, "goodbye, Sasuke-kun" and as she drops to the ground.
He realizes he's crying "goodbye Sakura, may we meet again." And he walks away.
So after the terrible experience I had with my songfic collection I didn't think I would be around here for awhile but last night I had this idea of Sasuke searching for Sakura after he killed her in the past life.
And since I have always been fascinated by the idea of reincarnation I decided this would be the start of my SasuSaku month collection. So this was for day one "what are you so desperate for?" it had to be in an alternate universe so it's set in present day.
And I just had to add the end because it's the last memory both have from their past lives with each other I actually thought of including the line "For never was a story of more woe Than this of Juliet and her Romeo." From Romeo and Juliet at the beginning but decided against it.
So yeah this is the first one.
Peace out, and may the force be with you,