George Is Pregnant
Warning, this story contains the following…
-JohnxGeorge pairing (main pairing of the story) and PaulxRingo pairing (a minor/subtle pairing of this story)
-Crossdressing Ringo and George
-Justin Bieber and Rebbecca Black dying (YAY)
-Bob Marley dressed as a policeman
It was a peaceful morning at the residence of John Lennon and his spouse George Harrison. The couple was sleeping soundly in their bed, John was curled up cozily under the covers dreaming about George dressed as a playboy bunny, and George was snuggled up next to him dreaming about unicorns. "Mmmph…" George muttered softly as his serene dream was interrupted by an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach.
He opened his eyes and clutched his stomach in pain. "Uuugh… maybe I shouldn't have eaten so many jelly babies last night… ow my stomach!" George squeaked, feeling like he was about to throw up. He hopped out of bed, and then he ran into the bathroom and barfed in the toilet.
George leaned against the toilet, still feeling really sick."Ooooh my poor stomach… I hope I'm not pregnant…" He groaned.
He decided to check and see if he really was pregnant, just to be on the safe side. George opened the medicine cabinet and withdrew a pregnancy tester from it. Then he sat on the toilet, lifted up his negligee and used the tester.
When he finished using it, George held it up so he could read the results. "Let's see wot this little thing tells m-HOLY SHIT." He squealed after reading the results of the pregnancy test. The pregnancy tester was flashing green and said "PREGNANT" in big letters. George threw it in the trash and clutched his stomach. He trotted out of the bathroom back to the bedroom.
He sat on the edge of the bed and started crying uncontrollably. "WOT THE HELL DO I TELL JOHNIKINS!" George sobbed rather loudly.
John sleepily sat up in bed and looked over at him. He seemed tired and a little bit pissed off at George. "George ye idiot! Stop crying so loud! Ye woke me up in the middle of a perfect dream!" John snapped, getting ready to smack George upside the head. "Don't ye lay a hand on me John, not in my condition." George sniffled as he started rubbing his stomach gently. John cocked his head to the side in confusion.
"Condition? Wot condition?" He asked curiously. George didn't know what to say in response, he just grabbed John and started crying on his shoulder. "I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO TELL YE!" He cried. John shoved him away. "Tell me wot?" John grumbled.
George didn't say anything, he just sniffled a little a rubbed his belly. "Well go on! Spit it out man!" John urged him.
"…I'M GONNA HAVE YER BABY!" George announced before breaking into tears. John jumped in surprise. "WOT! Don't worry George, I'll take care of that!" He exclaimed, grabbing some random coat hanger from the closet and approaching George with it. George let out a horrified squeal. "Don't ye dare put that nasty instrument in me!" He squeaked, snatching the coat hanger from John and throwing it out the window, where it hit Elvis in the head.
"George ye said it was alright fer me to not use a condom, ye lied!" John shouted. "I'm sorry! I thought I was infertile! I guess I was wrong… FORGIVE ME JOHN!" Wept George as he clung onto John.
John pushed George off of him and sat on the edge of the bed. "Get away from me!" He snapped. He then buried his face in his hands and groaned in annoyance as George watched. "CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! George we haven't had jobs in years! Wot are we going to raise it on? KITTY LITTER?" John grumbled angrily. George scooted over to him and gave him a hug. "Calm down John." He said softly.
"CALM DOWN! YE ASK ME TO CALM DOWN! Yer the one that's P-POISONED!" John yelled at him. "Poisoned? Is that wot ye call it? John, that poison is our love child!" George whispered. John just grumbled something in response. George hugged him again and smiled warmly. "Just think John, there could be a little you running around here." George giggled. John turned to face George, his angry look fading. "Yeah? Ye think the kid will look like me?" He asked. "Oh I bet they'll look exactly like ye!" Giggled George.
John's face lit up with happiness. "Will they be a little arsehole just like me?" He questioned excitedly. "Oh I promise they will!" George replied.
"…CAN WE GANG UP ON YE?" John asked again, jumping up and down with anticipation. "That's wot mothers are fer!" Laughed George. "Then it's settled! We'll keep the little bastard!" John decided. "Yaaaay! Yer the best Johnikins!" George cheered before grabbing John and showering him in kisses. "Okay okay George enough mush! Let's see the little rascal!" Chuckled John. He spread George's legs out and attempted to look for the baby inside of his ass. "Heehee oh come on John, the baby doesn't even have a spine yet!" Giggled George.
"As if ye do… come on John Junior, where are ye, I see ye in there, come on out! Say hi to Daddy! Come on out John Junior, where are ye? Come on out! Here baby! Come on, say hi to Daddy! Come on baby! Come and say hi!" John called into George's ass, trying to see the baby.
Eventually he got tired of doing that and went to go talk on the phone in the living room while George did some cleaning around the house.
As George mopped the floor, John smoked a cigarette and conversed with whoever he was talking to on the phone. "Yeah I'm gonna be a dad. That's right, there's gonna be a little me around the house! Pretty cool huh? Wot, George? He thought he was infertile but it turns out he wasn't! Anyway, I did most of the work making the baby, all he did was lay below me and let me screw him in the arse! Isn't that right George?" Chatted John. "That's right Johnikins!" George replied sweetly as he mopped the floor. "Ye missed a spot bitch!" Snapped John.
"I love ye toooo!" Replied George, who mopped the spot on the floor he'd missed earlier. "Geez I have to do everything around here! Now where was I… oh yeah! Do ye know how many other men tried to impregnate George! There's the milk man, the mail man, the refrigerator repair man! Um let's see who else… oh yeah, THAT JEHOVAHS WITNESS BASTARD FUCKED HIM TOO!" John shouted into the phone.
"Don't ferget about that boy scout troop Johnikins!" George mused. "…Oh yeah that's right, them too. But not even those strapping young lads could seed George's soil! It took a reeeeal man to put a brat in his arse! Yup, my bullets were firing that day! I'm thirsty now… GEOOOORGE!" John called out to George. George turned around and smiled sweetly. "Yes Johnikins?" He giggled happily. "Can't an expectant father get a goddamn beer around here?" John whined. "Coming right up Johnikins!" Said George, who ran into the kitchen to get John a beer.
John continued talking on the phone. "Eh I'll admit it, I was a little rusty at first, but once I got into it, I had George begging like a Catholic girl on prom night!" He chuckled. Meanwhile, George returned with a beer for John. He handed it to him and then tried to kiss John, but John shoved him away.
"George I'm on the phone! I'll kiss ye later!" He grumbled. George frowned and then went back to cleaning. John took a sip of the beer George had given him and then immediately spit it back out. "Geooorge! This beer's warm!" He complained. "Oh my heavens! I'm sorry honey, I'll get ye a cold beer right away!" George promised before rushing off somewhere. "Be careful!" Said John before he threw the can of warm beer out the window. It hit his friend Norton in the head. "Ow! What the fu-OH YAY FREE BEER! THANK YOU GOD!" Cheered Norton as he ran off with the beer.
John resumed talking on the phone. Meanwhile, George was returning from the store with a six-pack of beer (which was cold like John wanted) in tow.
He walked into the house through the door and headed for the living room, where John was still sitting and talking on the phone. "MY SEED. ALL MINE! I'M A STUD, YE HERE ME? A SUPER STUD!" John yelled into the phone. "That's right John, ye sure are a stud! And a very handsome one too!" George giggled as he handed John a beer. "Thanks George! Yep, I'm the king; nobody can resist my throbbing manhood! Well it was nice talking to ye Mum, bye! Old bitch…" Said John as he hung up the phone. He grumbled the "old bitch" thing after he hung up so his mom wouldn't hear him. John then took a sip of his beer. "Gee this must be a hard time fer ye Johnikins, I'm proud of how yer handling it!" George commented.
John shrugged. "Eh, it's my burden… this is some fookin good beer!" He replied. "Um… Johnikins? Can we go eat lunch now, I'm hungry." Mumbled George, who rubbed his stomach. "Eh, sure why not?" Agreed John.
So the two of them went to go and eat some lunch. John had a sandwich and George got a whole bunch of random crap to eat-some eggs, some olives, a pineapple, some zucchini, some cherries, a steak, some cereal, some fish and chips, some creamed corn, and a whole can of squeeze cheese. He laid this all out in front of him on the table and prepared to eat. "Ey George, whatcha doin'?" Asked John, who hugged George from behind and groped him.
"Oh, I'm eating fer two now! Actually, make that eating fer three!" Giggled George, who rubbed his belly a little bit. "Eating fer three? Don't ye mean eating fer two, ye know like you and the baby?" John stated confusedly. George shook his head. "Nope! Eating fer three! Because I have two babies in my belly-WE'RE HAVING TWINS!" He announced. John nearly fainted. "T-TWINS!" He exclaimed in surprise.
George nodded. "Yeah! While I was out getting ye some beer I stopped by the Doctor's and he said we're having twins!" He replied.
John fainted. A few minutes later he woke up to find George on top of him giving him mouth to mouth. "Oh yay, yer awake! I though ye were dead!" George giggled happily, tugging at the hem of his dress a little bit. John face palmed himself. "Crap…" He muttered.
***Nine Months Later (I'm skipping ahead because I'm too lazy to think of stuff to fill in the time during George's pregnancy -3-***
It was midnight, and George and John were lying in bed, sleeping peacefully. George was dreaming of himself being the leader of an army of penguins, while John was having yet another dream of George dressed as a playboy bunny (he dreams of George dressed like that often)
In John's dream, Playboy Bunny George was doing some rather dirty things to him that made "Little John" happy. Just as he was about to reach his dream's "happy ending", he was shaken awake by George. "Ugh, George wot is it? I'm trying to sleep! Did ye have a cancer-related nightmare again?" He grumbled sleepily. "No! My water broke! It's time!" George panicked. John sat bolt upright in bed and looked at George, who was sitting in a wet puddle. "OH SHIT. Don't panic don't panic, I know wot to do!" Exclaimed John, who jumped out of bed and ran into the wall.
George just sat there on the bed, clutching his stomach in pain. "Bloody hell… damn these contractions!" He muttered to himself.
John started getting dressed, and then he put his shoes on and grabbed some random bag. "Don't worry, I've done this a million times! Okay now I'm ready!" He stated before running out through the door and hopping into the car. "Owchie! Wait, Johnikins! Wot about me?" George squeaked. "Okay let's see… cigarettes, check. Scotch, check. Overnight bag, check! Alright I've got everything, now… TO THE HOSPITAL!" Exclaimed John, who started speeding off towards said hospital.
He lit up a cigarette and started smoking it while driving, a smile on his face. "And ye thought I'd ferget something George! George? Oh shit! I FERGOT GEORGE!" Said John, who turned around and drove back to his and George's house.
He hopped out of the car and ran into the bedroom, where George was still sitting on the bed. "Johnikins! It hurts!" George sobbed.
"I know, I know! Don't worry baby, it'll be alright soon! TO THE HOSPITAL, AGAIN!" John assured him as he grabbed him and
hurried back into the car. He sat George in the passenger seat and once again started speeding off towards the hospital.
"Hang on honey!" John told George as they drove. George let out a whine of pain. John continued driving until he heard the sound of police sirens. "Aw crap it's the popo… I think they're pissed at me fer speeding." Grumbled John as he pulled the car over. An officer walked up to the window to talk to them. John recognized the officer as Bob Marley. "Hey mon! What's the hurry?" Bob Marley asked.
"Officer this bloke's gonna have my babies!" John told him. "Oooh! It hurts!" George squeaked. "Well why didn't ya say so mon! Follow me, there's no time to waste!" Instructed Bob Marley, who sped off on his police motorcycle.
John sped off after him in the car. They were almost at the hospital and everything was going alright, but then they got stuck in traffic.
There was no way they could get past all the cars, but Bob Marley had an idea. He took out a shot gun (much to the horror of John the gunphobe) and started shooting at all the cars in front of them, causing them to skid off the road. "CLEAR THE WAY MON!" Bob Marley shouted. Some of the cars did get out of the way, but he continued shooting at the ones that didn't. The traffic was still bad, and Bob Marley couldn't take care of it all alone, so he pulled out another gun and handed it to John, who flinched in fear. "Here mon, I'm gonna need your help! Don't be scared mon, just aim and fire!" Said Bob Marley.
John gulped. He didn't want to shoot anyone or their cars, though he knew he probably had to if they were going to get to the hospital in time for George to have his babies. "George, take the wheel!" John ordered as he started firing the gun at all the cars that were in front of him.
George grabbed the wheel and drove while John shot at random cars. They came to a care with Justin Bieber in it, and John aimed the gun at him.
Justin Bieber let out a high pitched feminine sounding shriek and rolled up the window in an attempt to shield himself. John fired off the gun and the bullet went through the window, fatally wounding Bieber Boy in the head. Justin's lifeless body fell fast first onto the wheel, making the car horn go off. His car then careened off the highway and fell into the river below.
"MAKE WAY FER NEW LIFE!" John shouted as he shot a couple of other cars. He then threw away the gun and it went through the windshield of Rebecca Black's car, causing her to crash into a tree. Her car burst into flames, killing her almost instantaneously.
John shoved George away from the wheel and resumed driving. "Hold on George, we're almost there!" He comforted his spouse, who groaned in pain again. Luckily, they quickly reached the hospital, and John grabbed George and ran in. Bob Marley ran in after them, shooting off his guns like a madman. "MAKE WAY FOR LIFE!" He exclaimed.
George was lying in a bed in the hospital with John by his bedside. Also with them was Ringo, dressed in a woman's nurse outfit.
Ringo administered some painkillers to George, though it only dulled the pain a little. "Oooooh!" George groaned. John held his hand as a sort of comforting gesture. "Hang on Georgie, wait until the Doctor gets here! Nurse, where's the Doctor?" John panicked. Nurse Ringo was about to say something, but just then the Doctor suddenly burst into the room. This doctor happened to be Paul.
John and George traded worried glances amongst each other. "Um… nurse?" Said John. "Yes?" Giggled Nurse Ringo. "Does this Doctor know wot he's doing?" John questioned. Nurse Ringo gasped. "Sir! This Doctor is known for hi precision hands!" He exclaimed.
Doctor Paul walked over to the three of them and slipped some latex gloves onto his hands. "Uh… he looks like he knows wot he's doing." John chuckled nervously. "Ahem! Are we going to have a Sunday school discussion, or are we going to have a baby?" Doctor Paul asked sternly. "Um… we'd like to have a baby please." John replied. "Good. Well let's be professional about it, alright? Okay… which one of ye is pregnant?" Doctor Paul inquired. He looked at John, then at Nurse Ringo, then finally at George, who raised his hand weakly. "Meeee…" He squeaked.
"Alright then… are ye ready? PUSH!" Ordered Doctor Paul. George started trying to push the babies out, and he squeezed John's hand tightly.
"Push Georgie, push! Push George, I know ye can do it!" John encouraged him. "Ack! No… I can't! It hurts too much!" George cried out. John smacked George upside the head. "PUSH I TELL YE!" He snapped. This surprised Nurse Ringo and Doctor Paul.
"Wot the hell is wrong with ye! Read the sign!" Scolded Doctor Paul, who pointed to a nearby sign. John read it, it said "Maternity Ward, please do not hit the pregnant people" "I-I'm sorry Doctor, I didn't see the sign!" John apologized. Doctor Paul glared at him and then refocused on George's condition. "Alright, let's try this again, this time in a CIVILIZED manner!" He announced, glaring at John. "I swear I didn't see the sign…" John mumbled. Doctor Paul rolled his eyes and then sighed in annoyance. "Fine… let's take it from the top! You, push!" He instructed George.
George started pushing again, and John resumed holding his hand. "Push Georgie, push." He said softly before giving George and kiss.
"Push, push! Come on Mrs. Lennon, give it! Let's have it, let's have those babies! That's it! Push!" Doctor Paul encouraged George. Nurse Ringo walked over to him. "Um, Doctor…" He said quietly. "Keep pushing!" Doctor Paul told George, ignoring Nurse Ringo entirely.
Nurse Ringo started poking Doctor Paul to get his attention. "Not now Nurse! We can go have sex in the utility closet after the Lennons deliver their twins! BREATHE!" He said. "Doctor Paul!" Nurse Ringo said hastily. "Wot is it Nurse! I'm trying to deliver the Lennon's babies!" Doctor Paul grumbled. "Uhhh… I think ye better see this… it's very important!" Nurse Ringo whispered, showing the Doctor his clipboard. Doctor Paul looked down at the clipboard and jumped a little in surprise. He had to study this a little more closely!
"Uh oh… alright, take a break ye two! The Nurse and I need to have a look at something real quickly!" Doctor Paul announced before walking off with Nurse Ringo. George gave John a worried look. "I hope everything's alright…" He mumbled. John hugged him and stroked his cheek.
"Don't ye worry a bit George, I'm sure everything's fine!" He assured his spouse. Meanwhile, Doctor Paul and Nurse Ringo were studying an ultrasound of George's. "Hmmmm… yep, okay… I see… pretty serious… alright…" Doctor Paul mumbled as he examined the ultra sound. "Doctor, wot's yer prognosis?" Asked Nurse Ringo, who batted his eyelashes cutely.
"Prognosis, prognosis… hmmmm… ye want that prognosis huh?" Doctor Paul replied. Nurse Ringo nodded and cuddled the Doctor.
"Well okay, where do ye want it? Mouth or arse?" Questioned Doctor Paul, who smacked Nurse Ringo's ass. Nurse Ringo let out a squeal and jumped. "Doctor! Not THAT kind of prognosis!" He explained. Doctor Paul's eyes widened and he blushed a little bit.
"OH! Prognosis! Haha prognosis, my mistake Nurse! I know exactly wot ye mean! Alright, here it is, now pay attention…" He instructed the Nurse, who leaned in and listened intently. The Doctor cleared his throat before speaking. "I'm afraid there's a complication with these babies, they have a couple vision problems and slightly underdeveloped lungs. They may not make it…" He told the Nurse. Nurse Ringo gasped and glanced over at George and John. "A-are ye gonna tell them?" He asked worriedly. Doctor Paul sighed.
"Look at them, they want these children so bad…" He said solemnly. Nurse Ringo looked over at the couple. John was cuddling George and squeezing his hand a bit. "It's okay George baby, yer almost done! Any minute now we'll be a Mummy and Daddy!" He whispered.
George smiled tiredly, and he and John shared a kiss. "I can't break their hearts! I'm gonna deliver the little bastards anyway!" Doctor Paul stated heroically. "Oh Doctor!" Nurse Ringo sighed amorously, embracing the Doctor in a hug. This hug soon turned into a kiss, which was interrupted by John." Doctor, Doctor! Help him Doctor, he's hemorrhaging!" John called out.
Doctor Paul glanced over at him and George (who seemed to be in a lot of pain again) and then gazed into Nurse Ringo's cerulean blue eyes.
Nurse Ringo smiled back at him, and then Doctor Paul punched him in the face, causing him to fall over onto the ground. The Doctor then strutted back over to George and John, preparing to help them with their babies. "Oooh… that man is all horse!" Nurse Ringo moaned before passing out on the floor. Meanwhile, George started trying to push the babies out again.
"That's it, push! Good good, oh one of the babie's heads is coming out!" Exclaimed the Doctor. John rushed over to where Doctor Paul was standing so he could witness the birth of one of his baby twins. George let out a high pitch shriek and pushed the baby out.
Doctor Paul grabbed the baby, cut its umbilical cord, and wrapped it in a blanket. The baby coughed a lot and blinked confusedly.
The baby had John's hair and nose, though it had George's hazel eyes and thick eyebrows. "Oh, wot an adorable little thing! Is it a boy or a girl?" Cooed John. Doctor Paul checked the baby's gender and smiled. "It's a baby boy! Congratulations!" Announced the Doctor.
John did the happy dance and cheered. "YAY! CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON! Can I hold him?" He asked. "Erm… not at the moment… we need to get this baby to the NICU, don't tell yer wife this, as I don't want ye to freak him out, but yer babies have a few lung problems. Don't worry though, everything's under control! After a little while in the NICU, we'll return them both to ye! NURSE RINGO!" Informed the Doctor.
Nurse Ringo sat up. "Yes Doctor?" He questioned, smiling broadly. "Take this baby to the NICU." The Doctor ordered him.
"Right away Doctor!" Replied Nurse Ringo, who grabbed the baby boy and ran off to the NICU. John was worried, he hoped his babies would be alright. George screamed, presumably from the pain of his contractions. "Mr. Lennon! Yer wife needs yer attention!" Doctor Paul said to John.
John ran back to George's side and started comforting him while the Doctor prepared to deliver the other baby twin. George pushed one last time, and the second baby's head popped out. Doctor Paul gently yanked the tiny infant out of George, cut the umbilical cord, and wrapped the baby in another blanket. George panted tiredly. "That' was exhausting…" He gasped. John snuggled against him and rubbed his belly. "Yes, but now we have two cute little babies!" He chuckled. George nodded. "Yes, that we do… so the first baby was a little boy, wot about this baby?" He asked the Doctor. Doctor Paul checked the gender of this baby, which happened to be a girl unlike her twin (though the two babies looked practically the same aside from a few differences, as the baby girl had longer eyelashes and more feminine features then the baby boy).
"It's a goddamn baby girl!" Doctor Paul announced. George's face lit up. "Awww! A Little girl!" He squealed. John smiled approvingly at the tiny baby girl. "Um… now if ye'll excuse me, I have to take this baby to the NICU immediately. I'll have her and her twin brother brought back to the two of ye right after we make sure they're alright." The Doctor informed the two new parents before running out of the room with the baby girl.
George gave John a confused look. "NICU? Why are they taking our babies there?" He asked forlornly. John really didn't want to tell George why the babies were going to the NICU, but he knew he had to. He let out a depressed sigh.
"George, the babies have lung problems, but the Doctor said that they'd most likely be fine after being given some medical attention. Don't ye worry one little bit honey, I'll be here fer ye!" John assured him. George started crying hysterically and he buried his face into John's chest, staining his shirt with his tears. "THE POOR BABIES!" He whimpered. John face palmed himself. "Oh lord…" He muttered.
***A Few Hours Later…***
Amazingly George had cried for three straight hours. John had been trying to comfort him, but to no avail. "Oh it's all my fault! I should have ingested fish oil while I was pregnant like those books and pregnancy websites said!" George sobbed. "Shh, calm down George! I'm sure the babies are fine!" John consoled him. George sniffled a little and gave John a kiss. "Yer always so sweet Johnikins." He purred, nuzzling closer to John.
John smiled down at him and kissed him on the forehead. "So are ye George." He chuckled. At that very moment, Doctor Paul and Nurse Ringo returned to the room with the baby boy and baby girl in their arms. Doctor Paul had the baby boy, Nurse Ringo had the baby girl.
The Doctor and Nurse were both smiling as they approached George and John. "We managed to take care of the baby's lung problems, they're fine now. They might have asthma later in life, but fer now they're breathing fine and are quite healthy! We've also found a way to help aid their vision. See fer yerselves." Doctor Paul explained happily as he handed the baby boy to John, while Nurse Ringo handed the baby girl to George.
The couple looked down at their two babies and saw that they were wearing the same kind of glasses as John. George giggled.
"See Johnikins, wot did I tell ye? They look just like ye!" He joked. The baby boy and girl made little cute baby noises. John chuckled happily. "They may look quite a bit like me love, but they have yer beautiful eyes and yer charming eyebrows too!" He replied.
"Aw Johnikins yer so sweet!" George mused, giving John a smooch. John giggled like a pervert. "LOL yeah… wot shall we name them?" He asked his spouse. George thought for a moment, pondering over the many names they could give to their children, before he finally came to a decision. "I know! How about we name our little boy Jordan Wendell and our little girl Giselle Henrietta?" He suggested.
"Giselle and Jordan? Sure! Those are some nice names!" John agreed. Giselle and Jordan snuggled against their parents and whined.
"Awwww… ye know Nurse Ringo, I must've performed this procedure a thousand times, but there's just something about the miracle of birth that always breaks me up!" Sniffled Doctor Paul, who was holding back tears. "Oh Doctor…" Nurse Ringo sighed, snugglng againt the Doctor and giving him a peck on the cheek. Doctor Paul punched him in the face again as George and John cradled their new children.