A/N: for my friend Elise, a die-hard McCoy fan. Prompt was "workplace flirtation", but ended up being more about Kirk's intrinsic need to disobey rules and cross others' boundaries. Didn't come out quite as I'd like (kept losing my focus while I was writing it). Let me know what you think. Established McKirk


It was at times like these that he thanked god almighty for giving him domain over Sickbay instead of having to share the helm with the rest of the bridge crew.

Christ. Leonard watched with narrowed eyes as his Captain practically fraternized with the First Officer. It was well known - and well documented, he though grimly - that James T. Kirk was what one might call a very . . . tactile individual. But good lord, did he really need to touch the Vulcan that much?

Not that they were touching at the moment; no skin-on-skin contact anyway. They were both standing before the captain's chair, heads bowed together as they examined the contents of a document on the PADD that Spock was holding. Jim was pointing something out with his right hand, and he was leaning in far enough to where he and Spock were rubbing shoulders. It was a familiar stance for them; side by side, deep in discussion or both transfixed by the matter at hand. Though the Vulcan still maintained an intense air of aloofness, there was an unmistakable form of camaraderie between Captain and Commander.

He wasn't sure where all the unnecessary touching came into play, however. Jim didn't seem to be aware of it - he played it off so easily, with such an air of nonchalance - but Leonard knew better.

And so did Nyota, apparently. A brief glance to Leonard's right revealed the aforementioned female translator, who had turned away from her station momentarily and was fixing her boyfriend (Ex-Boyfriend, Bones corrected himself) and the upstart young captain with a hot, slightly bloodthirsty glare that could easily make the average crewman cower.

As it was, Spock and the offending Jim Kirk were completely oblivious.

Too wrapped up in each other, Leonard sneered to himself, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Too damn wrapped up to notice him, at least. Jim had requested to see Bones at the end of shift, which had been about 7 minutes ago. Bones had come up straight from medical as soon as he'd cleared up the day's paperwork and shooed everyone else out; as such, he'd been standing there, unabashedly staring at them for the past 4 minutes.

And they still had yet to look up.

Observing them, Bones could feel the scowl slithering up onto his face. If Jim's hand wandered any closer, he'd be practically making out with the hobgoblin . . . Vulcan-style, of course, but still. . . .

It shouldn't bother him. Not by this point. And to his credit, Leonard had gotten pretty accustomed to Jim's incessantly flirtatious behavior. Truth be told, the young James Kirk was flirty with freakin' everybody - hell, he was still flirty with Nyota, even though she looked positively livid every time the cocky bastard sent a remark her way. It was just his nature, part of his infamous charm. Just one of the many reasons Leonard loved him.

This, though, was slightly pushing it.

It wasn't that he was worried, per se. For one, Spock was as straight as they came and didn't have a single kinky bone in his body (revealed to him by Nyota, during a strange, slightly drunken heart-to-heart at their on-ship Christmas bash). Two, he knew Jim Kirk well enough to be able to distinguish between teasing and actual intent to seduce (he was often on the receiving end of both). Seeing his boyfriend play handsy with the First Officer didn't make him feel inadequate or concerned as to the stability of his and Jim's own relationship.

It did kinda piss him off though.

Maybe it was the consistency with which Jim subtly toyed with Spock. Maybe it reminded him of Jocelyn, whose first extramarital affair had been with one of her coworkers. Maybe it was because they hadn't made their relationship public, which meant Jim couldn't openly flirt with him like that. Maybe it was finally dawning on him that he needed to put Captain James T Kirk on a shorter leash.

Maybe he was jealous.

As Leonard watched, Jim shifted, if possible, even closer to the Vulcan.

And maybe- just maybe- he was a little skittish about Jim's mild case of Russian hands and Roman fingers because god knows what kind of sordid thoughts and images (involving both the Captain and the good Doctor) the Vulcan might come in contact with if Jim continued to fondle him like that.

Suddenly, the Vulcan was blushing a faint green as Leonard saw his boyfriend "accidentally" brush fingers with Spock across the PADD.

Though Jim had technically given Spock the Vulcan version of a well-placed peck on the cheek, Spock, to his credit, showed minimal discomfort. Other than the mossy-green tint to his cheeks and the tops of his pointed ears, the only other sign the First Officer showed in acknowledgement of the vellication was an almost nonexistent stiffening of posture.

Jim for his part, pretended not to notice, and proceeded on in discussing the document in question. The Captain's face was almost completely impassive; but Leonard could see the germ of a telltale grin at the corners of his mouth. . . .

Though Leonard was content to let this thing pan itself out (at this rate, it wasn't going to last much longer), Nyota, apparently, had seen all she could take. From where she sat at her station, she cleared her throat and said sharply:-

"Captain, Commander. Dr. McCoy is waiting."

Finally taking notice, Jim looked up with a tinge of what Leonard thought to be relief- not relief to see Leonard so much as to have a safe and perfectly acceptable reason to let that shit-eating grin cross his handsome face. He turned back to Spock, said something quietly, and let go of the PADD where he'd been holding it as well. Nodding to Spock, he turned to Leonard and beamed.

"Hey, Bones," he said, approaching, "didn't mean to keep ya."

Leonard rolled his eyes and turned heel. "yeah, sure." Stepping into the turbo lift, he turned and waited for Jim to follow suit.

"Ah, don't get sour on me," Jim wheedled as the door swooshed closed behind him. "I just got held up a minu -"

"You were the one who wanted to see me 'right after shift'," Leonard shot at him, punching the code into the turbo lift that would take them back to Sickbay. He braced himself, feeling his stomach take its usual plummet as they dropped. Jeez, a month into their five-year mission, no gravity, and he still wasn't used to these damn things. Jim stayed mercifully quiet while Leonard counted the seconds until they arrive on the level where Sickbay was located, only opening his mouth when they stepped out into the hallway.

"C'mon, Bones, it was only a few minutes-"

"Yeah, well, if you want to waste a few minutes sexually harassing the hobgoblin, do it on your own time, not mine," he said as they rounded a corner. The gleaming doors of medical loomed before them, and Leonard approached the security pad, punching the medbay code in with more gusto than strictly necessary. The alarm system gave its affirmative beep, and the doors opened. "And don't give me any of that 'I don't know what you're talking about' crap: you were deliberately trying to touch him, asshole-"

"Hey, watch the vitriol," Jim cut in, sounding a mix between miffed and slightly hurt. He followed Leonard to where the other man was heading, coming up to the filing system that leaned up against the wall behind the doctor's desk. Whilst Leonard began rifling through the electronic files, Jim played absently with the stray stylus on Bones' desk; he watched his boyfriend search for the file he himself had requested earlier, only half-listening as the Enterprise's CMO bereave and reproach him.

"- so juvenile, I know you're at least partially aware of what touches mean to Vulcans. Any more touching and you would have been groping the man-"

"Well, I figured that, since he and Uhura broke up, he's fair game. Besides, what's wrong with a light-hearted workplace tryst?" Jim wandered around the edge of Bones' desk. He tilted his head down, looking coyly up at Leonard through his eyelashes. With his golden hair, full lips, and bright blue eyes, he faintly resembled a coquettish cherub.

"You know, sociologists say that flirtation in the workplace can be a good thing. It's proven a good way to make people feel comfortable-"

"I'd like to see the fucking sociologist that 'proved' that," Bones bit out. "Besides, this is a Vulcan we're talking about. They don't flirt."

"Psh, sure they do. What do you think that was in there?" he smirked and jerked a thumb up, motioning towards the helm.

"Child's play," McCoy replied gruffly. "Just you making an ass out of yourself, as usual."

"Make you jealous, old man?" he asked, voice so saccharine he managed to make even the derisive nickname sound like honey.

Bones, not to be toyed with so easily, threw him a cursory glance, and grunted. "You wish, darlin'." Finally, he located the file; pulling the chip out, he tossed somewhat carelessly onto his desk. "There. All you need to know about Mi'oran Goss virus. Really though, as long as you don't let one of them sneeze on you when you beam down tomorrow, you should be fine."

Jim picked up the file and flipped the disk once in the air. He threw Bones a devilish grin. "Thank you, dear."

Bones shut down the filing system. He turned around. "Go fuck yourself. Back to Spock," he crossed his arms over his strong chest, dark brown eyes fixing Jim with a hard look. "Stop fooling around with him. He's too polite to say anything, and you're too good of a fucking actor for it to come off as anything but accidental. But you just wait. It's rude, and stupid, and inappropriate to boot- "

"But he doesn't mind, not really-" Jim started to whine.

Leonard barked, his harsh laughter echoing in the empty sickbay. "Yeah, you say that now. We'll see who's mindin' when Spock or Nyota are wringin' that pretty neck of yours," he said, noting that, as his irritation mounted, his trademark Georgian accent was coming out full-swing. "Just 'cause you're inadvertently givin' him unfettered access to your filthy head doesn't mean he's granted you the same. Like I told you, it's all kinds of insolent- and don't get me fuckin' started on all the possible side effects from you 'accidentally' fondlin'. How do you know he doesn't mind? What if he finds out about this?" he gestured between them.

Leonard was generally not the hysterical type, and he hadn't realized how much his voice had risen in volume due to worry. But Jim sensed his boyfriend's genuine distress immediately, and his eyes and expression softened.

"Bones, Spock and I are cool. We're friends - well, almost friends. We're getting there. Besides, he isn't going to rat us out. And he's known for weeks."

"I don' - " Bones halted, realization dawning on him. He narrowed his eyes. "You what?"

"I told him. Back when he was having trouble with Uhura, about a week before they broke up. He was confused and distraught by the complexity of relationships, so . . ." Jim shrugged. "I just wanted him to feel like he could relate."

Bones turned purple.

"YOU TOLD THE HOBGOBLIN AND DIDN' BOTHER TO RUN IT BY ME FIRST?" he roared. "Didn' we have this fucking conversation?"

Jim started: "Yeah, but - "

"Don't you 'but' me, James Tiberius Fucking Kirk! Don't you have any respect for people's personal boundaries? If not for Spock, then at least for me? I swear, it's almost like you fucking get off on pressing the people's buttons- what?" he asked exasperatedly, catching the positively wolfish smirk Jim was sending his way.

The Captain's mouth twitched, and jesusfuck, the gleam in his baby-blue eyes could have made an Orion blush. It was the familiar gleam of pure, lecherous, unapologetic lust, and Leonard was thanking god for a second time today, thanking Jesus, Mary, and Joseph that the rest of the crew had yet to see Jim bathe him in that look.

Seeing Leonard's eyes widen by a fraction, Jim desisted, tossing his eyes demurely to the floor and giving a casual, dismissive shrug that didn't fool Leonard for a second. Leisurely, Jim took a few steps towards Leonard, closing the space between them.

"Oh, nothing," he said airily, stopping short a few dangerous inches before the doctor. Jim's hand slithered forth casually, seeking out Leonard's where it hung at his side. It was an innocent enough display of affection, but there was definitely something serpentine in the way Jim's fingers curled hotly around his.

Jim had still not looked up, gaze now focused on their intertwined hands, a bridge between them. A distinct, almost palpable heat was building in the air between them, an electricity with a nearly audible static of its own, one that seemed to block out the cool stillness of the otherwise deserted Sickbay.

At the thought of where they were, Leonard glanced up, eyes locking on the main doors. The fact that he and Jim were dating (although there were times when Leonard felt like "dating" was too official and "going at it" might be more appropriate) wasn't exactly common knowledge yet. There were people among the crew who suspected them, and there had been too many close-calls and nearly-witnessed kisses for Leonard to maintain the illusion that everyone was completely oblivious (not to mention the touch-telepath that Jim had been inadvertently fondling). But be that as it may, he wasn't about to get caught in any compromising situations, especially not in his own Sickbay. If someone walked in. . . .

But the thought drowned immediately as he found himself being guided backward; Jim, taking advantage of Len's momentary lapse of attention, was using his body to gently push his boyfriend backwards. Bones' body tensed automatically at being steered by an outside force, but Jim used his free hand to grasp his shoulder and push him back further.

"Nothing," Jim repeated, his voice no longer airy but heavy and silky as he pushed Bones backward, their knees bumping as Bones stumbled. A few more steps, and a solid object that came to the very top of Leonard's thigh stopped their progression backwards.

"It's just. . . ."

And when Jim finally turned his eyes back up to peer into Leonard's, his mind stopped functioning, his breath catching hard in his throat.

". . . seeing you angry gets me so fucking hot."

And suddenly Jim was kissing him, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt and pressing their mouths together in a bruising lip-lock. Leonard's mouth was on fire and he's seeing stars; hot currents raced up and down his body as Jim's hands wandered, trailing around and down his back, to his ass, squeezing and making Leonard gasp involuntarily into Jim's hungry mouth.

Even despite the onslaught of other sensations, the feeling of Jim's lips curling into a smirk against his didn't escape his notice.

Which is probably a good thing, because it was all the warning he got before Jim grasped him by the thighs, hoisted him up, and lets him fall backward onto what can only be a biobed.

Surely enough, as a surprised Leonard splayed his hands on the surface under him, he recognized the familiar starched-fabric feel of the biobed's mattress immediately. Propping himself up on his elbows Bones managed to serve Jim a look that could at least pass for firmly disapproving.

"What-" he was panting, great, "-do you think you're doing?" He did his best Spock impersonation, arching an eyebrow imperiously.

Jim just grinned and loomed over him, placing his left hand on Leonard's hip; the other hand, sly thing, tugged on the hem of Len's (rather tight) black trousers. He shrugged.

"Well, I was going entice you to come back to my quarters for a little tousle in the captain's cabin," he drawled, deftly undoing the top button and the zipper in two quick motions. "But I kinda like this idea better." He started tugging on the black material, causing Bones' blue medical shirt to come loose from where it'd been tucked.

Bones struggled to get up. "Wait a minute- no, damn it, I told you: not in Sickbay-"

But Jim was lifting his hips and sliding his pants down, down, "Relax, Bones-"

" - I said no. It's completely unethical, not to mentio -" his words were swiftly cut off by a well-timed kiss.

" - fuck, Jim, stop! - I mean it, I will call security-absolutely no respect for conventional boundaries - oh god- "

Fin.