Author's Note: Written in a fit of angst (like most of my stories, I'm noticing. D:) and my first attempt at Rosiel's character, so my apologies if it's not entirely IC.



There was something in his calm, passive demeanor made Rosiel want to harm him.

Katan was too perfect. His skin was too smooth, his hair too fine, his eyes too clear. He was too willing, too careful, too agreeable, too protective.

How had hands like his wrought this? He who was hideous and disgusting, the embodiment of all things vile. He had created this? Surely it was not true. Surely this creature had sprung from some other imagination, to stand perfect in his shadow, at his side, forever a reminder of what he was not and what he could not - could not!- possess.

His very being made him the perfect target.

Rosiel knew Katan's distress when his attention turned to Kyrie, or to any other, for longer than was strictly necessary. He knew too that his playful teasing was taken as hard fact, and every careless word he had ever spoken had been caught and cataloged back until the beginning of this man.

So he tormented him. Kissed the girl while he was watching. Kissed Katan himself - his lips were perfect too, and sweet, his mouth was cool instead of warm and Rosiel didn't really want to stop- and laughed like he didn't care. Shouted and raged and rejected and cried like a child and nearly got himself killed-

To nearly break at the thought that Katan would die instead.

His precious, perfect creation, the only one that had ever truly been beautiful - gone? And forever? No.

No no no nonononononoNO-

It wasn't the same, the second time they kissed, and Rosiel couldn't tell where the salty taste had come from - he was not crying, he would not cry... - but it was all right, everything was going to be all right, because Katan wasn't going to leave him.


Lies he tells himself. To others. To the mass of cables and cords in the coffin that used to be his precious Katan. To that terrible demon child that was going to take away the one person that had ever truly seemed to care about him.

Lies when he's saved. Because Katan isn't heavy, not at all, it feels so good just to have him close again - pretending he's not naked, pretending he doesn't want him to be naked- but he needs to be off and up and talking and pretending and lying again.

But he's beautiful.

And he can't, he can't stay away from him, can't help falling into his arms, can't help clinging to him as though the world is ending again, as though his world is ending, because this is the only person who he ever wants to think those things are true about him. As long as Katan believes he's beautiful, everything will be all right.

But this is not his Katan.

This puppet, this pretty mimicry is not his precious, protective underling who would do nearly anything for him. This creature does what he's told without question. This creature does not voice his opinion unless it is asked. This creatures opinions are mechanical and obvious.

And Rosiel hates it.

He hates the thing he has made his creation into, because it is less perfect.

He wants Katan back - oh but he cannot have him, cannot, because he can't ever change what he's done, can't ever make it right, why did he have to...?

Would it have been better, he wonders, to let him die?