Finally, I managed to post this story. I wanted to make a prologue but I don't think it matters too much as I tried to explain the situation in this chapter so who wanted to consider the first chapter as prologue go on ^^". Why did I write this?Well, I like IF questions so the story is built on one of them which you will discover once you read the chapter.
I didn't decide how long it will be as I didn't finish planning yet. Hopefully I will finish that soon. The title means For What Was Broken.(goggle's help of course)
Anyway, enjoy and tell me what you think. I need that guys^^"
Disclaimer: I guess I don't own Digimon. Not now. Not ever.
Kowarete Ita Nani No Tame Ni
'Why am I here?''
He asked himself the same painful,plain question for what could be the millionth time but his mind had always simply came with a simple' It doesn't matter'.Eventually,he gave up. It didn't matter anymore how many times he asked himself the same question as it occurred that the answer was always the same.
'It doesn't matter anymore'
Everything had fell apart upon his eyes three weeks ago;three miserable weeks. He couldn't believe what had happened…none of it.
He couldn't understand what was wrong and why did that man come to the orphanage and took him to his home, to a new different life? Actually, he was used to foster houses but that wasn't a foster house…that was home.
He shook his head, refusing to believe that the unbelievable illusion he lived in for more than eleven years had collapsed. The man that left his mom to die in front of his eyes. That man who left him for those years came now to righten things.
That man was his father.
He could feel his shaggy breathes, his hearts' hopeless pleads to stop working. Honestly,he himself begged his over-worked heart to rest in peace forever but even his own body refused to end everything. Cold sweet covered his forehead as a sign of his increased temperature. His right hand shivered as he put it on his chest to make sure that he was alive…not that he would mind being dead. His other hand clutched the white sheets of his cold bed. The room was lit with an artificial dim source of light that had lighten the place but not the mood of the people in it. His new room consisted of twin beds with a drower between them .On the opposite wall,a large white closest and a studying desk for the original owner of the room. His eyes were tired from seeing the same things whenever he opened his eyes so he closed them tiredly.
'Sore wa daijōbudesu,' soothed a now-familiar feminine voice.
He raised his head weakly and looked at her sincere eyes. The woman he was living in her house now and the same woman that took his father from him and his dead mother smiled at him warmly. The irony was in how kind she was to him unlike the people he had dealt with in his painful past and unlike the people who were supposed to be nice to him; his family.
'How do you feel, Kouichi-kun?
He meant to say that he was okay but his body betrayed him forcing him to cough loudly. For precious seconds, he couldn't breath no matter how he tried.
His tired gasped alarmed the brown-short woman in front of him.
'Kouichi-kun, calm down please. It is all right! I will call the doctor,' her voice panicked as she hurried towards the door however his tired voice stopped her.
'I am fine,' he managed to whisper softly and rested his head on the bed head.
'I am fine Minamoto-san,' he repeated in the same quite voice, looking at the ceiling.
'Don't call me that. I am only Satomi, okay?' she said sweetly and ruffled his hair gently while Kouichi stared at the sheets motionlessly and refused to look at her. His quite, devastated behavior forced her to pull her hand and to talk to him as gentle as she can, 'Dear, I know it is hard on you but you should get used to your new life. It won't be a few days or months. It is a life.'
He desperately knew that and it severely hurt. He whispered miserably, 'I…I want to go back, Onegai.'
'Where?' she blinked in confusion.
His answer was bitter and cold as his voice trembled even more than his ached body. He spit it as fast as he can as if it was a forbidden curse. The orphanage, the place he lived in for more than seven years. The hell hole that witnessed his tears and pain. No one would ever ask to go to such a place where they treat children as sources of money, as tools to live. The children were the ones, who took care of themselves without a stable source of money for the orphanage, they had no choice. Any one who wanted to adopt a child from there should pay a massive amount of money as if it was the price of the child. It didn't matter even if it wasn't a family or a suitable foster home as long as they pay and as long as they…take the child back to the orphanage three months later to be sold again…How his father managed to take him without that condition was a secret he shouldn't know about?
However, he knew what price he himself paid to be owned to the Minamoto family; his identity.
'Iie, we won't let you go there. I can't stand how they maltreat children there as if they weren't even human. How could they deprive you from all your rights? That is unfair,' Satomi shivered slightly at the thought and her voice came shaken and angry not at him but rather at the person who left him there…her husband and the child's father.
She believed him when he told her that he didn't know what happened to his ex-wife and the child with her but that didn't mean she couldn't blame him.
'N…No it is not,' he screamed and clutched his heart, breathing faster,' I have no place here. At least that…that was my home. It doesn't matter how they treat us. That was the only way to keep us alive by selling us. If it weren't for them, I would be dead now. I wish I died with 'Kaa-san.'
He didn't know how many times he wished that wish. He was four years when she died because of tiredness and lack of everything; only two years after the divorce. She promised him in that chilly night that she would sleep and would wake up later to play with him before going to her work and he believed her by sleeping beside her and later panicking when she didn't awake as she promised. As a four-year old child, he didn't recognize what death mean till one of those whom his mother was in his debt came to take his money and found a child, crying over his mother's cold body,asking her to wake and play with him. They took her from him and sent him there. All those years, he waited his father to take him home but he never came and when he finally did he destroyed what was left from his life.
His father's wife and officially his adopted mom now looked away and sighed sadly at the child's depression, which was similar to another one's attitude but instead of depression anger took control.
The awkward silence controlled the air again, allowing loud shouts from reaching them.
Both of then knew who were fighting and why. No matter what was the reason for the original fight, it always reach that point.
'Don't lie to me! He is here to polish your nasty image.' came an angry, frustrated voice which became too familiar to the lied child.
'Kouji, you should be more respectful to-' a male older voice replied in a collected manner as if his words repeated themselves each time they fight.
'Why should I ? You lied to me all those years and brought him here,' Kouji snarled.
'Kouji, he is your-'
'I don't care. You didn't care when you left him in the orphanage. Why the hell do you allow yourself and prevent me?
'I had enough of you and him and that bit-'
'Kouji, don't be rude. Satomi loves you and you know that.'
'I don't want her or even you. I wish you would rot in hell.'
'Shut up! Shut up!'
Those who heard the same quarrels everyday knew how it will end eventually either with Kouji leaving the home or his father giving up and going to work without even a reason for extra hours.
'He hates me,'
The soft muffled voice alarmed Satomi for it came completely different from the others downstairs.
'Iie, he is just confused and anger is his only way to express his frustration. It was a shock for him. Believe me, he is not heartless as he seemed. Just give him time!'
His hand came unconsciously to his right red cheek. For a known reason, she gave him a sympathetic look and sighed,' but I can't believe that he did that. Your father will make him apologize,'
'He doesn't want me. He wishes I died with mom. She died because she worked too hard to support me,'
'He didn't mean that. I mean he-'
'I am the reason she is dead,' he whimpered bitterly as another loud cough sent chills to the sitting woman. He clutched his chest tightly and gasped for air as his eyes became unfocused with blur vision and hot tears on his now pale face.
She shook him with apparent panic but he didn't respond to her attempts as she called frantically, 'Kouichi-kun! Onrgai, say something. Kouichi kun!'
Her cries mingled with the others' continues shouts .
'I didn't expect you to do that , Kouji,' Kousei Minamoto said, trying and failing to lower his angry voice.
'Am I look like a good boy to you?' a child with similar features to the other sick child roared.
His father sighed in desperation and said in a calmer voice,' Kouji, he is sick. Try to understand that.'
'Oh,I wonder why you didn't.'Kouji said coldly.
'I didn't know and he wasn't sick when the divorce happened,' he said the last few words quickly as if ashamed of the child in front of him but the other didn't pay that any attention as he growled like a wolf,
'Liar! You knew all that time but when your damned co-worker wanted to adopt a child from there he told you how one of the children there look like me. You were worried that the false image you built would collapse if someone discovered that you left your son in an orphanage.'
'Kouji, I am a lawyer and trust is the most important thing I need. Our life would go up side down if anyone discovered the truth. I feel sorry for what happened but I swear I didn't know.'
'You hate him and mom so stop acting like you cared.'
'And that is your excuse to hurt him.'
'You did that more than me so why couldn't I share you the fun.'
'For God's sake, he is your brother, Kouji. Your twin. 'Kousei shouted in irritation and sat on the couch, trying to regain he energy for another round.
'No evidence for that!' Kouji muttered quietly and clenched his fists. His sound was hoarse and different from his previous growls as if he was hesitant to say what he said.
'W…What?' his father chocked with a hint of pure horror in his eyes.
'I saw you on the day you brought him here. You…You burned every single certificate or legal paper he had.'
The look his father had confirmed his accusing as he continued,' In front of him, you burned everything that proves his identity. In other words, he is officially a 'child from streets'. That is what people call them, right?'
'He is not my brother in your law's point of view. You wanted him as an adopted child and nothing more. You don't care about him so why do you ask me to?'
'I do care; Kouji, but I can't lose what I built in years. I will give him a better life and think about that in my way What will your classmates say if they knew that you had a brother that lived most of his life in an orphanage without you even knowing that .On the other hand, if they knew that your family adopted such a child you will be more-'
'Shut up and don't involve me in this.' Kouji shouted in increased fury.
'Kouji, I didn't raise you like this.'
Kouji's temper reached its peak as he hit the table in front of him father and exploded, 'Why did you bring him here? He is begging me every night to let him go back to that place. Stop controlling my life and dragging whoever you want into it! I hate you and that woman and even that bastard-'
The one who cried wasn't his father. They looked behind them to see Satomi who was crying harder that they ever saw her.
'Enough!' she repeated, putting her hand on her mouth to muffle her sobs.
'Honey!' her husband hushed, worried as he approached her and put an arm around her but her eyes kept focusing on her step-son who looked away.
'I am just a stranger and you have every right to hate me but he is not. He had nothing to hold on, Kouji,' she wept, 'I know how angry and frustrated you are but he doesn't deserve that.'
She glanced at her husband and said softly but worriedly, 'You should call a doctor. His condition became worse.'
'I did,' Kousei said simply , looking at Kouji and said in accused tone,' after seeing how much Kouji messed upwith him. The doctor will be here in few minutes. Don't worry, dear, he will be fine.'
Kouji didn't look at any of them, heading towards the door .His father shouted but he paid no attention.
'Kouji! Come back!'
The slam on the door answered him…again.
His eyes looked at the cloudy sky, feeling the little drops of rain on his body but he didn't care as his eyes rained the same drops.
He would never use that tone in front of anyone after all the lies he lived in and the half-truths they were giving him. His mother died twice .He couldn't even remember her face except for an old picture his father stole from the other child and gave it to him after killing everything related to his mom in front of the others' eyes.
Kouichi. His name was similar to his own and looked so familiar despite how much he tried to deny that. When he was a child, he was dreaming about two identical happy children but the dreams faded till they became next to nothing. He had always wanted a brother to love and to be himself with but when that brother came, he brought painful truths and sorrowful memories. If one asked him about his new found brother, he would simply describe him as a sad and lost child. He lowered his gaze to his pained hand, which was blaming him for using it to slap such a defenseless child.
'I…I didn't mean that,' he thought regretfully. He knew 'Kaa-san. She died because of him in front of his eyes.
He gritted his teeth Do I hate him for knowing 'Kaa-san. Jealous of someone who has nothing?
More tears joined the raindrops answering his sever, torturing question.
To Be Continued...
I hope you liked the chapter ^^"
Tell me what you think and any suggestions or criticism are much appreciated.
Kouji is kinda jerk at the beginning but well who wouldn't be in such situation. It will be much fun to play with the twins from the very beginning*evil grin*.
BTW: Kouichi's illness isn't the core point in the story but I will try to explain it later, but for now it is because of his weak immune system and normal sickness and Kousei's words about not knowing proves that his illness isn't a deadly one so no worries. I am not killing him not at this story at least.
Thanks for reading ^^"
Sore wa daijōbudesu:It is okay