Callie's Charity Dinner
Introduction- Some years back, I read a fic that for some reason has dissapeared from this site. It was about the Deputy Mayor having a big charity event,where she-kats could pay to have dates with the city's top officials, and the SWAT Kats. Like I said, I read it once, and have looked for the fic many times, but never found it again. So, I decided to write something comparable to it, so here goes!
Deputy Mayor Briggs was in a bit of a fickle. She had to come up with a lot of dollars for the city orphanage, but how to do it was the problem. Mayor Manx wanted lots of votes from the katizens in the next election, so if the city donated some cash to some poor, underprivilaged kittens, then all the better for Manx' popularity. Of course Manx was just being selfish, but Callie decided that helping the orphanage was still a wonderful idea. As she tried to think of something, Ms. Briggs groaned in annoyance as Lieutenant Steele came into her office.
"Hey there beautiful.." he smiled, placing some papers on her desk, "This is Commander Feral's monthly report on the Enforcer's finances."
"Very well.." she sighed. "But please, no trying to shmooze me Steele, I'm very busy right now.."
"Oh, then how about we talk things over at the Katnip restaurant, say on Saturday night?" Steele growled.
"For the last time, creep, I'm not dating you.." Callie huffed. "Wait, that's it! Dates!"
"Huh?" questioned the lieutenant.
"My idea for a charity!" Callie smiled. "She kats can donate money and buy dates! Hmm, like maybe at Enforcer Headquarters! We'll have an auction, so to speak! Mayor Manx, Commander Feral, and any number of other top city officials can be anyone's date, to the highest bidder! Hey! Even the SWAT Kats can be part of it! Wow, what a great idea, I'm glad I thought of it!"
"What?" gasped Steele, "But I mentioned it first!"
"Oh, I suppose, maybe you can be bid on too.." sighed Callie.
"By you?" he smiled back.
"In your dreams, creep.." Ms. Briggs muttered. "Now get out of my office, and tell the Commander what my plans are for the charity..."
"Er.. um, yes maham.." Steele replied, bowing slightly before leaving the room.
Immediately, Callie started to make phone calls to all the appropriate people, including even Ann Gora from Kats Eye News. Two weeks later, the big charity event was all ready to take place at Enforcer Headquarters, in the auditorium. Mayor Manx, Commander Feral, Lieutenant Steele and the comedian David Litterbin were seated in the front row, waiting to be bid on. Deputy Mayor Briggs then came on the stage and told everyone that the bidding would start soon. But she first had a surprise announcement to make.
"Ladies, will you please give a rounding applause for tonight's special guests who will be bid on last.. I present to you.. THE SWAT Kats!"
As Razor and T-bone walked on the stage, the huge throng of she-kats screamed and howled in delight. Commander Feral growled, and stood up in anger, ready to arrest to two vigilanties, when his niece whispered into his ear, "Uncle, they're here at Ms. Briggs' request, just sit back down, before you cough up a hair ball!"
"Oh, alright Felina.." he sighed. "Those two are lucky this is a charity event, else I'd throw those hotshots in jail!"
"Helloooo ladies.." said T-bone, causing the she-kats to scream."Ready to party?"
"Yesssssss!" they shouted back. "We love you!"
"Hey what about me?" shrugged Razor.
"We love you too, owwwwwwwww!" the crowd replied, as the SWAT Kats sat on the other side of David Litterbin. The bidding started immediately, beginning with Litterbin, and for $200, a lucky she-kat won a date with him. Next was Feral, his final price was $500. Mayor Manx was bid for an impressive $1000. As for Steele, some she-kat only bid fifty bucks for him, just because she was getting a free meal with the date. At last it was the SWAT Kats turn, and after an hour, each one had recieved an incredible bid of $5,000! But then, to Feral's chagrin, his own niece Felina bid $10,000, and won the date with T-bone! Then, to add even more insult, the Deputy Mayor did the same with Razor!
"How could you?" gasped Feral."You don't have that kind of money, Felina!"
"No, but if the Enforcers donated the money, the orphanage would certainly appreciate it.." she smiled back.
"Oh, very well.." he sighed back, crossing his arms in disgust. Later on that evening, all of the dating pairs went to the Katnip restaurant for a huge meal. They all sat together in the banquet room, and kats eye news reporter Anne Gora was there with her camerakat Johnny,as special guests of Ms. Briggs. Feral was sitting right across from the SWAT Kats, and was doing his best to not look at them, instead keeping his eyes on the menu. When the waiter arrived to take the orders, Manx was first.
"I'll have the haddock filet, with a side order of coleslaw.." he said.
"Same here.." said his date.
"Get me a sardine sandwich, please.." muttered Steele.
"Yuck, I'll just have a tuna salad.." said his date.
"For me, the tuna casserole.." said David litterbin.
"Shrimp salad please.." said his date.
"The same thing for both of us.." said Anne Gora, indicating herself and Johnny.
"I'll have the salmon burger, medium rare..and an order of fries.." said Felina.
"I'd like the crab cakes, please, and a tossed tuna salad.." Callie smiled, "SWAT Kats, what about you?"
"Welll..." said T-bone, "I think I'll have the 10-ounce t-bone steak, well done, mashed potatoes, and green beans. Razor?"
"Get me a tuna steak, rare, with a side order of fries,and the roasted asparagus tips. Hmm, but first, waiter, we'd like to have a starter.."
"Are you two hotshots trying to eat the restaurant out of buisiness?" snapped Feral.
"Calm down uncle, remember, this is for charity.." sighed Felina. "What starter are you thinkin of guys?"
Smiling, T-bone said, "Just call it a challenge, lieutenant. To anybody who thinks they can beat us..or should I say, out-eat us."
"Anything you can do, I can do better!" growled Feral.
"We'll see about that.." stated Razor. "Waiter, bring out three big bowls full of hot mongo peppers!Think you can take the heat, commander?"
"You're on!" he smiled back, "I eat peppers all the time!"
'How about 30 in 15 minutes?" smiled T-bone. "That's my personal best.."
"Wh-what?" gasped Mayor Manx, "I like hot peppers myself, but that's insane!"
"Tell me about it.." sighed Razor. "T-bone's stomach must be made of scrap iron, the best I could do was half that amount in a sitting."
"I'll break that record of yours, just to wipe that smug smile of your face, hot shot.." muttered Feral.
"Deal.." replied T-bone. "Then let the fireworks begin!Bring on the hot peppers!"
Fifteen minutes later, T-bone still had a smug smile in his face, because he broke his own personal best by eating 35 peppers in fifteen minutes. Razor managed only 15 again, but as for Feral, he ate a gallent 25 before proceeding to run to the bathroom to throw up. Once the commander recovered, he couldn't eat his main course, and sat sulking while everyone else was having a great time.
"Don't feel bad Uncle, T-bone just has an iron stomach, like Razor said. You ate more peppers than I ever could in 15 minutes.." said Felina.
"I just don't like the fact that a SWAT Kat beat me in a challenge.." huffed Feral.
"Oh, don't make yourself upset over it commander," smiled Callie. "All in all, we helped out the orphanage, when it needed the money. Cheers!" she said, raising her glass of milk.
"Cheers!" everyone responded, clinking their glasses together.