Inspired by "Video Game Confessions" by Doug Walker aka That Guy With The Glasses.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Amazing World of Gumball, or any of the characters in the cartoon. All Copyrighted material and Rights to The Amazing World of Gumball belong to Benjamin "Ben" Bocquelet and Cartoon Network Studios.
The use of names and/or characters that are non-fictional or copyrighted to anyone else in this story is purely coincidental and accidental.
This is the Toon Tavern, a classy, luxurious bar in no place in particular. Here the Tavern has normal patrons, and then there are the usual cartoons that come by to have a drink. However, some of these toons we know and love may sometimes do, done, or say things we never thought they would do. And, of course, some bar tenders just tend to see such things with their very eyes. One in particular is named Edgar.
Cartoon Confessions: Nicole Watterson
So I'm tending the bar, minding my own and everything, when comes one of those new cartoons that are making their way onto the scene, Nicole Watterson. She had her usual clothing, that nice kind face that can automatically turn into your worst nightmare if you piss her off enough, you know, she just looked great…what? I'm, a furry fan, don't judge me! Anyway she comes up and orders a light drink.
I ask, "Good to see ya, Mrs. Watterson. Didn't expect to see you here."
She says, "Well, even a hard working mother has to have a small break every now and then."
She had a good point at that, and I couldn't argue at all. While she was here, I couldn't help but remember this one nagging question that I wanted to ask and this moment seemed like the perfect time to.
I ask, "If you don't mind me asking, um, what's the deal with Darwin? I mean, he's a fish! A fish! How does him being one of your sons work?"
She says, "Well at first he was just Gumball's goldfish and one day he just sprouted legs, found a new ability to breathe out of water, and slowly became part of the family."
I say, "Wow, that is really…something." To be honest I thought that seemed a little farfetched, but I think it was one of those answer's you only get one chance to ask about.
She also seemed uncomfortable, like something about revealing that thing about Darwin brought back some worrisome memory.
I ask, "Uh, you okay there Mrs. Watterson? You look like something's bugging you."
She says, "What? Oh nothing's wrong, nothing at all. What would make you say that?"
Yeah, I could already tell she was trying to hide something, not by the tone of her voice, but because...well, I have this weird thing where I can tell someone isn't being entirely truthful about something. It actually gets me into a lot of trouble but beside the point, there was something she was hiding, and my body language must have shown I wasn't buying whatever she was saying.
She says, "Okay fine, before I tell you though, can you keep a secret?"
I say, "Well yeah."
She says, "I need you to pinky promise me."
I was a bit bewildered by her request, but I pinky promised anyway.
She says, "Darwin didn't grow those legs and arms naturally. He got those because of a side effect from being bio-engineered."
I asked, "Uh…I'm sorry, what was that?"
She says, "Yes, Darwin was created in a lab."
I asked, "Um, yeah, I have no idea what you're talking about."
She sighs and says, "Okay, look, you know how I work at the Rainbow Factory? Well, technically I don't really work there."
I ask, "What are you talking about?"
She says, "The Rainbow factory isn't a factory, it's a disguise for an underground research facility."
I said, "Ah…what?"
She says, "I'm not just a workaholic mom, I'm a researcher at a science facility. Darwin was part of a program called Project: Rainbow."
I said, "What do you mean he was of a program?"
She says, "Okay, if I'm going tell you everything, I might as well start from the beginning." She takes a deep breath and then starts explaining. "Elmore city wasn't always a city, it was one huge field in the middle of nowhere, and in that field was an underground research center. I was one of the head researchers in that facility, and we had gotten a request for a project. That project was to create mascots."
I said, "Why would someone need you to make mascots?"
She says, "Not just mascots, living mascots. Someone wanted us to eliminate the need to hire actually people to be mascots."
I asked, "Why would someone want that?"
She says, "So they can save money, why else? Honestly, people would pay thousands for one of our creations just so they don't have to pay someone periodically to wear a stuffy suit! Anyway, the project was going well, we made a mascot, someone pays for it and then they have someone to promote their products without having to pay them, until we ran into a problem."
I asked, "What happened? One of the mascots go rogue?"
She says, "No, nothing like that, the problem was that we made an immense amount of mascots and no one wanted to buy them. So we needed to find out a solution to this and eventually we decided to build a city around the center. The first building was the factory, to disguise the entrance to the facility, and then from there we just kept building until we had a full functioning city. We even went as far as to create a past for it."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I mean, I knew the people who lived in Elmor were bizarre, but I never imagined they were off breads of a syringe. Or tanks, or whatever or however they were created!
I asked, "Wait, you live in the city, though, why?"
She says, "We wanted to make sure the citizens did not get suspicions or anything, so they had some of the teams move into the city to monitor what went on on the surface and I was one of those members."
I asked, "So you just came up with that idea and that was it?"
She says, "Well we spent millions of dollars on the project, we couldn't just dispose of them! You think we were funded for this thing? Well actually, yes we were, but the client wanted his money back and the only way we thought we could pay was to build a city and make a working economy to get the money back!"
I said, "Okay, that's a good plan, but don't you think that's a little sadistic? I mean, you're basically having them live in a false reality!"
She says, "Hey, some sacrifices have to be made in the field of science and research, and no one can predict what the end results will be."
I'm just sighing in disappointment and disbelief at all this. Making one big fake city and having…living beings live false lives, all for a so-called 'sake of science'.
I said, "Well it seems as though you paid the client back, why don't you just tell them the truth?"
She gives me this look as if I'm the dumbest person she ever met. She says, "Imagine a huge group of people realizing that their very existence is a lie and think what could possibly happen. Do you want to know what could happen, because I'll tell you. Mass panic, hysteria, rioting, people becoming radically dangerous, everything that could possibly go wrong, will happen and it'll be an absolute nightmare!"
I had to admit, that's something we wouldn't really want.
I said, "Well okay, but don't you think they have to know eventually? I mean you can't just have them thinking that they were just born that way, can you?"
She gets this real guilty look on face and says, "You know what, maybe you're right. Maybe it wasn't right to do what we did. In fact, forget confidentiality and science and all that other stuff, starting tomorrow I'm going to find a way to tell everyone the truth!"
I was surprise she decided that so quickly, I mean all I did was say they had to know eventually and she just up-up and decided 'Okay'! Must have been the drink, which is weird because it was light and she didn't even finish half of it. I'm kinda glad she didn't order something stronger!
Anyway, she pays for the drink and marches on out. Next thing in morning, the news was doing a cover story for chaotic riots in Elmore, and due to the increase danger that some of the citizens present, they had to get military personnel to surround the entire area…I gotta stop giving people advice.
I love cartoons. They're awesome, funny, and fill my heart with joy. But, when I work here, I see them act out of character. WAY out of character. But, hey, it's just another day and another patron at the Toon Tavern.
A/N Apologies if you had any comfortableness during this quick drabble, this is my first AWoG fic, but I clinged to the hope that you could easy since it's a parody, and if not, I guess I can't blame ya.
Anyway, this part of a series I hope to continue and probably will. Probably.
Next time's confession will be from the computer from Courage: The Cowardly Dog, coming out when ever I finished it. If you want to see the previous two confessions, look at my profile, you should find it.