Chapter Four

March 3rd, 1999

Sam looked up from the book he was looking at, though not actually taking any of the information in, when he heard someone walk into his room. He frowned when Amanda smiled cheerfully at him, not too sure what it was that could have made her so cheerful. Really, Sam couldn't think of a damned thing.

Sure he'd taken to what Taney had told him, and he got that she had warned him that it would take time, but three months was beginning to push him to his limits. Especially as he hadn't heard from anyone since, other than the odd reaper. The spirits however, seemed to have noticed that he was slowly coming back into himself — well he was eating at least — and thus they had started up their tormenting and verbal abuse. Something Sam had really missed, really.

Three months though. He was going insane - again. And he still had no idea why Amanda was grinning at him like she expected him to ask her what she was there for. She should really know better by now. Sam hadn't spoken for over a year, you'd think she'd realise that. In the end, Sam just sighed and cocked his head to the side in question.

Amanda seemingly got the hint, as her smile just grew and she pulled an envelope from behind her back. Sam just stared at her and then the envelope warily.

"This arrived for you this morning! I'm assuming it's from Dean, though the return address isn't the one he normally uses. Did he and your father move again?" She asked him, and Sam just shrugged. Chances were that they had, but not in the way Amanda assumed. For one, they didn't actually have a permanent address and Sam honestly had no idea who's address Dean had been using for the return address. Sam hadn't actually bothered to look on the few parcels Dean had sent him.

Sam just looked at Amanda, wondering if she was actually going to hand the damned envelope over, or if she was just going to dangle it in front of Sam's face like a carrot in front of a donkey. Apparently, with the lowering of his meds, Sam's thoughts were becoming a little more random once more. If he hadn't been afraid of the side affects, Sam would have just stopped taking them altogether and just pretended.

He was pulled from his musings, having gotten bored of her random gushing over a letter, when Amanda placed the letter on his bed and gave his hair a fond ruffle, before leaving the room. Sam just stared after her for a few moments, wondering if she had possibly been spending too long around mental people and possibly needed to take a holiday.

However, once he'd shook himself from his slight daze, he glanced at the envelope once more, frowning when he noticed it was bright yellow. Certainly not something Dean would ever consider buying. Picking it up, Sam weighed it in his hands, nibbling his lip and wondering who it could be from. He took a quick glance at the return address and quickly scrabbled to open it upon seeing the sender's name: Mr L. Quay.

Strangely, the first thing Sam did was sniff the paper once he yanked it out of the envelope. He felt a wash of calm flow over him upon smelling the familiar scent of Lo. Once Sam felt he'd been weird for long enough, he pulled the letter back and began to read it, warmth settling in his stomach at the thought of see Lo once more.


You have no idea how much stress I've been going through, just trying to find you! Almost two years, Sammy! Taney told me what you seemed to have gone through whilst you were there and I'm just so angry with myself for leaving you! I should have seen this coming! Should have known something bad was going to happen. I'm so sorry, Sammy. So, so sorry!

Now, I'm sending you this to both reassure you that I'm coming to get you out once I can work out how, and also to let you know that it shouldn't take too long now. I'm hoping it will be before your birthday but I can't make any promises.

I truly am so sorry for what happened to you as soon as I left you alone for a minute, but never forget that you're mine, Sammy. I'll always look after what I see as mine, and you are my most treasured possession.

Wait for me and don't let them hurt you anymore than they already have. Taney told me you didn't speak to her, and well that makes me worried. I'm worried as well about some of the things the reapers have told me. Just don't give up yet, Sammy. Don't lose hope.

You're mine as I am yours, I'll come and get you out, I promise.



P.S - Given the place you are in and the security it seems to have, there's a glamour charm on this. What you read and what they read aren't the same. If they happen to ask you about your father's health issues, just nod and smile.

P.P.S - I've heard about Dean's struggles to summon me. If you speak to him before I get you, tell him to not bother. Really, summonings are kinda itchy. I'd appreciate it if he just didn't. I do respect him for doing this for you though. He told you about the meeting he had with the reaper? You should ask him about that. Apparently the reaper hadn't heard someone scream quite so high before.

Sam blinked at the last little note and then silently chuckled to himself. He really would have to remember to ask Dean about it the next time his brother visited him. If he ever did. Sam sometimes wondered if his brother and dad had finally decided to wipe their hands of him. He hadn't seen them since their last visit in October. And after that it had only been one phone call which was fairly one-sided given Sam no longer spoke.

Sam wondered if they'd just forgotten him. He wouldn't have blamed them if they had. And at least he now knew he still had Lo and that he hadn't imagined the man. With a smile, Sam breathed in the scent of Lo from the letter once more, and lay down on his bed, anticipation of finally being free bubbling inside of him.

May 2nd, 1999

Sam grumbled when he felt someone nudging him to wake up. He batted at the annoying presence, then cracked open an eye to glare at them, only to sit up in shock. He rubbed his hands over his face and then blinked up at the man standing over his bed with a soft smile on his face.

"Happy birthday, Sammy," Lo whispered. That broke the spell Sam seemed to be in and he launched himself out of his bed and into Lo's arms, feeling Lo chuckle as he wrapped his own arms around Sam. "Missed you, Kid."

Sam snuffled and pressed his face into Lo's neck, breathing in the man's scent and just taking comfort in his presence, whilst Lo gently rubbed Sam's back.

"Sammy, we're gotta get moving before someone notices that I'm here. Come on, Sammy. I know you're still drowsy, but I promise to let you sleep as soon as I've got you back to my place. Okay?" Lo asked him softly, running a hand soothingly through Sam's hair and making Sam press a little into the hand. Sam in answer to the question however, just whimpered quietly and pressed even closer to Lo.

He didn't want to sleep. He was scared that if he slept, when he woke up again, Lo would be gone and he'd realise all of this was a dream. He never wanted to let go and never wanted to wake up if that was the case.

"I promise you, Sammy, that I'm real. We really need to go, but when we've gotten back to my place and you've had some sleep, I'll prove to you just how real I am. We'll work on getting you to speak again as well, yeah?" Sam nodded against Lo's neck and finally convinced himself to step back, though he refused to let go of Lo's shirt. He stared at Lo and little before smiling and running a hand through Lo's hair and then tugging gently on the ends. "Yeah yeah, it's grown. Same can be said about you, Sammy. Now, you ready to go? Anything you want to take with you?"

Sam nibbled on his lip and then gave a short nod before stepping towards the desk in the room. He glanced at Lo, and tightened his hold on his shirt as a hint that he didn't want to let go. A hint that Lo apparently picked up on and followed closely behind Sam to the desk. Sam quickly gathered the few books and the jacket Dean gave him all that time ago, he then grabbed a scrap piece of paper on the desk and scribbled a note, and then pressed back into Lo.

"Ready?" Lo asked him, placing a calming, warm hand on Sam's waist. Sam turned his head to look at Lo before he nodded his head quickly, and tightened his hold on his possessions. He gave a small gasp of shock when Lo pressed a kiss to his neck and then clicked his fingers seconds later. With a blink, Sam felt himself being swept away from the room he had been living in for the past eighteen months. In seconds, Sam felt a weight drop from his shoulders and freedom become something more than a passing fancy.

I told you he was real. Loki finally came for me. Don't worry, I'm safe.

May 3rd, 1999

Dean sat up quickly, shifting the book he was reading to the side so his dad couldn't read the title — not that he was going to be summoning a reaper again, but he still had hope he'd find someone else that would be able to help him and he didn't think his dad would appreciate that kind of reading material — and looked over with a frown when John ended the phone call hastily, whilst grabbing his bags.


"Pack up, Dean. We've got to leave."

"Er… the hunt?"

"I'll call Bobby on the way to get someone else to cover it. Somethings happened to Sam, Dean. We need to get there as soon as possible," John told him, and Dean started moving, grabbing books and clothing as soon as he heard his brothers name.

"What's happened? Did they tell you? Is he alright?" Dean asked even as he frantically threw their belongings into whatever bag was nearby, not even caring to check that he wasn't damaging anything, or that he was grabbing the right clothes.

"They don't know… Dean…" John sighed and Dean stopped his hurried packing to turn and look at the man. His dad was sitting on the end of his bed, head in his hands as he stared at the floor. "What have I done, Dean?"

"What… what do you mean, Dad? What's happened to Sammy? Dad… you're scaring me. Tell me he's okay!"

"He's disappeared, Dean. And it's my fault! I should have just let him have his friends that only he could see. I should have just let him grow out of it in his own time." Dean gaped at his father, and then shook his head and furiously began to finish the packing.

"Yeah, Dad, or you could have listened to what Sammy told you! Maybe Lo wasn't imaginary, maybe he was invisible! Did you ever think that? I mean, fuck, Dad! We hunt shit like this every day, but you think your son's immune to it? You just think he's insane?" Dean sighed, and glared at John, before throwing the bag onto his shoulder and grabbing another one, then walking to the door. "Come on, we've got to get to the hospital and see if there are any hints on where Sammy's gone."

With that, Dean turned his back on his father and walked out of the motel room. He ignored the niggling voice in the back of his mind that told him he hadn't believed Sam at first either. And that their father had only done what he felt was right, but Dean brutally pushed it away and just threw his bags into the back of his car, before getting in himself. He only had to wait for a few more minutes before John also walked out of the motel room. After having returned the key, John climbed into his own truck and the two Winchesters drove out of the motel parking lot and towards where they hoped they'd find Sam.

Dean and John followed the anxious nurse down the corridors, towards the room Sam had been staying in. Upon reaching it, she stepped to the side and motioned for them to enter.

"We only found a note. His books and a jacket were missing, but everything else is still here. We have no idea how he got out! The doors are locked at night to prevent any nighttime wanderings, and on top of that, we have cameras on every floor now!" The nurse told them, ringing her hands anxiously as John glared at her silently. Dean just huffed loudly, and then shoved past his dad into the room. As soon as he entered, he noticed that it was the books Dean had given Sam, that Sam had taken. And was probably his jacket as well.

Smiling to himself softly, Dean shook his head and walked over to the desk, where the note had been left upon finding the room empty. Dean picked up the note just as he absently heard his dad asking about police involvement. Snorting and shaking his head, Dean just knew if Sammy didn't want to be found, then no one would find him. Reading the note, Dean actually felt some of his fear for Sammy fade.

Spinning on his heel, Dean walked back to where his dad and the nurse were still talking and discussing how necessary it was to involve the police. Dean interrupted them by slapping the note into John's chest, glaring at him.

"Read it. Maybe then you'll realise listening to your sons is a good idea. Me and Sammy both told you, but you didn't listen to us. Didn't listen to Sammy. Read the damn note and maybe learn to have a bit of faith in your youngest son," Dean snapped at him. He then turned sharply and began to walk back down the corridor.

"Dean! Dean, where are you going? Dean, answer me!" John shouted after him, making Dean pause and look over his shoulder to see John glaring at him, Sam's note held tightly in his hand.

"I'm going to find my brother and his friend. I believed in him, Dad! This would never have happened if you had as well!" Dean called over his shoulder as he carried on his way to the elevators. He didn't bother looking behind him to see what his father though about his decision, just got into the elevator as soon as the doors opened and hit the button to take him to the main floor. He had no idea how he was going to find Sam, but at least he had a better lead than his dad and anyone else.

Either way, Dean was determined that he was going to find Sam if only so he could make sure he's safe and finally happy. All Dean wants is for Sam to be happy.

May 18th, 1999

"Lo," Sam whispered, not able to actually speak over a hushed whispered without hurting his throat, and even then he could only speak a couple of words before he had to stop. Lo was adamant in getting Sam to talk once more, however, and seemed to be alert to any sound Sam made, as he looked over as soon as Sam spoke.

"Yeah? You alright, Sammy?" Lo asked him, moving from where he'd been making something no doubt sickly sweet and gooey in the kitchen, to stand right next to Sam. Sam nodded his head and handed Lo a note he'd wrote, his throat already beginning to hurt him. Sam absently rubbed his neck, and smiled when Lo followed the movement and pressed a light kiss there. He was almost certain the scratchy pain faded a little as soon as Lo did that.

What happens now? Lo curled a hand around Sam's waist and led Sam into the kitchen, he'd made it his mission to 'fatten Sam up' since they'd arrived at the apartment Lo called his own, and Sam wasn't really going complain given what Lo was fattening him up with.

"Right now, you're going to sit there and eat my marvellous magical mystical pudding…" Sam just stared at him silently with a raised eyebrow before Lo's shoulders slumped, "It's chocolate bread and butter pudding. You'll love it. But right now, that's what you're going to be doing. Then and only then, will we decide what to do next. Not that I think we need to. We're fine here! I can make it so you graduate, then you can just do whatever you please and I'll follow along behind like I always have!"

Sam just carried on staring at Lo with an unimpressed look on his face, and then rolled his eyes and tucked into the food Lo placed in front of him. He shocked them both by making a small happy moan as soon as he had the first spoonful, and Lo gifted him with a wide smile and a wink, before he walked into the to main room, hand running through Sam's hair as he passed him.

"So, seeing as you're not happy with my plan of just staying here, and I really don't understand why not. I figured you could tell me your plan," Lo told him, then pinned Sam with a narrow stare when Sam reached for the notebook Lo had brought in with him. "Ah, ah! I said you finish that first, then we'll discuss it! Eat up!"

Sam huffed and ate another mouthful, before he reached out and snatched the notebook from Lo's hands, getting an indignant and startled noise from Lo, though he let him have it.

You know you're going to have to feed me something with vegetables in one day, right?

"Chocolate could be seen as a vegetable," Lo told him breezily, only for Sam to glare at him. "Oh fine, I'll make you something boring and sugar free tomorrow. You finished?"

Sam rolled his eyes and ran his finger around the edge of the bowl before popping it in his mouth and ignoring the strangled noise Lo made at the action. He nudged the bowl aside and began to scribble on his notebook once he felt his finger was sufficiently clean of gooey chocolate and custard mix.

I was wondering if we could somehow tell Dean where I was. And if I could have some carrots. I really miss carrots.

"You think of Dean and carrots at the same time? Sammy, I swear, I'm trying not to make my thoughts dirty, but you're not helping m—ow!" Lo exclaimed as Sam threw his spoon at Lo's head. Sam just glared at him and Lo huffed, pouting as he considered Sam's request. "Fine, I'll get you some carrots tomorro—ow!ow! And why do you wanna tell Dean?"

Sam let go of Lo's ear that he was twisting, and scribbled his answer on the notebook, shoving it back for Lo to read.

He believed me, Lo. He believed in you too. Don't try to deny that you don't know this. Taney told me that you all knew he was searching for me! He deserves to know that I'm alright at the very least!

Lo sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Fine, fine. I'll admit, Dean grew on me a little when I heard that, but I still don't like him for hiding out candy! And before you say it, I don't care that it was ten years ago! Candy is a serious matter! You don't mess with candy!"

We shaved his head and filled his bed with sand, I think he got the message.

"Ooh, that was good payback. Fine, so we tell Dean. Do you want him to know where you are, or just that you're safe?"

Can we tell him where I am? I miss him. Sam stared at Lo with wide eyes, nibbling on his bottom lip and making Lo groan and drop his head down onto the table.

"Stop looking at me like that! Like I was going to say no anyway! Just know, you're so paying me back for this!" Lo told him, and Sam grinned happily at him and nodded his head. Lo smirked and tugged Sam nearer to him, kissing him lightly on the lips then leaning back. "I'll leave Dean a note. Sometime. Please say no time soon. I just know the guy will blame me for the pink hubcaps. I wanna delay my inevitable pain a little longer."

Sam snickered silently, but nodded his head all the same. He leant against Lo's chest and sighed happily when Lo wrapped his arms around him, pressing a kiss to Sam's head. "Love you, Lo," Sam whispered croakily. Lo tightened his grip around him slightly before he nuzzled his nose into Sam's hair.

"Love you too, Sammy. Love you too."

June 11th, 1999

Dean sighed as he stared at the map in front of him. He'd be honest with himself and admit that he had no idea what he was actually looking for, but he wouldn't tell anyone else this. And he had no idea how his dad was doing as he'd made sure to hide his trails from his dad since he'd left the hospital. He was going to find Sam, and then he was going to do whatever Sam wanted him to do with regards to their father.

First he just had to find Sammy.

"So, I hear you've been looking for me for a while now?" Dean jumped and gave a startled yelp, spinning around on his chair to face whoever had spoken, and gaping when he saw a man that didn't look much older than himself, though much shorter, with mischievous golden brown eyes staring at him.

"Who the hell are you?" Dean asked, jumping up from his chair and grabbing for his nearest gun. The man in front of him however, didn't seem to care at all, and actually moved to sit on the bed.

"I'm hurt that you don't remember me, Dean! I mean, I lived with you for ten years." Dean frowned, and then gaped as it hit him just who was sitting in his room.

"Lo! Fuck me! Sammy was actually telling the truth! I mean, I believed him, I really did. But believing something and being proven it's right is like… completely different! Sammy's with you, right? Please tell me he's with you! Tell me he's alright! Please!" Dean begged, not caring what he was doing, just needing to know that Sam was okay. Clearly his reaction had shocked Lo, who just stared at him with wide eyes for a second, before he sighed.

"Sam's… He's with me. As for if he's okay, well… he's getting there," Lo told him with a sigh. Dean frowned and moved to sit down on his chair.

"So… Not that I'm not grateful, because I am, I really am, but why are you here? I doubt you'd have come here of your own choice, so Sammy must have been the one to tell you to come to me. Right?"

"Yeah, you're right on that one. He wanted you to know that he's alright and that he misses you for some unknown reason only he gets," Lo added with a mutter. Dean smirked at that before he sighed and rested his head in his hands.

"Does that mean he wants to see me?"

"Yeah, that's what it means. He's waiting for me to give him the say so, then he'll come in. He's outside. I needed to make sure he'd be safe, you know how it is." Dean did, and he begrudgingly nodded at that, even if the man was keeping Sam safe from him. He didn't say anything however, because as soon as he nodded, Lo grinned at him and clicked his fingers. The door to his motel room then opened and Dean soon found himself with an armful of little brother.

"Sammy! Man, Sammy, I missed you! I'm so sorry me and Dad didn't visit you since last October! We suck, Sammy! And I'm so sorry! Sorry, Sammy!" Dean muttered, clinging to Sam just as tightly as Sam was clinging to him.

"So! Who wants to hear my most awesome and amazing plan to keep Sammy here from the big bad John Winchester? And, you know, the psychs that want to lock him up?" Lo added with a sneer at the thought. Dean just rolled his eyes, but Sam pulled out of Dean's embrace and looked at Lo with a tilted head.

"Sure, go ahead, tell us how we're going to keep Sammy safe," Dean said, letting Sam shift away from him and move back to Lo's side. Dean stomped down on the small flash of jealousy he felt and instead just listened to what Lo had to say.

"Actually, it's less of a plan and more of a sentence."


"Well, basically? You and Sam just follow me around, or we find a place we all wanna stay. But I doubt any of us would be happy with that, given how we all have an apparent fear of staying in one place for too long," Lo explained, getting up from the bed and stretching, then ruffling Sam's hair.

"That's the plan? Just do as we've been doing all our life?" Dean asked him, staring from Lo to Sam, who just shrugged with a grin on his face. Clearly Sam was more used to Lo than Dean was.

"Sure, what's wrong with that? Well, we've also got to go see Taney as well. She insists on seeing that I've fed Sam something healthy for once. Like the kid can't live off sugar. Who can't? Pie is a very healthy alternative!"

"I've gotta agree with you there…" Dean admitted begrudgingly, before he frowned and looked at Sam. "Who's Taney?"

"Hmm? Oh, she's this damned faerie that became attached to Sammy here a while back. Hasn't left his side since. Really, quite annoying. Though having a whole bunch of faeries backing you is certainly something no one should turn down," Lo added with a mutter and Dean stared at him then turned to gape at Sam.

"You made friends with a faerie?"

"Yes yes, and a Norse god. You're brother's awesome. Come on, let's head off! Sammy said you'd refuse to leave your precious car behind so we'll be going in that," Lo told them, then wandered over to the small kitchenette area of the motel room Dean was staying in. Apparently the god had realised Dean might want to talk to Sam alone. Or as alone as Lo was willing to leave them. Which wasn't at all.

"So this is what we're doing then? We hide from Dad and follow him?" Dean asked Sam, pulling him aside once Lo had finished setting out his plan on what they should do about John.

Sam just stared at Dean, then glanced back over his shoulder at Lo who was actually minding his own business for once. Though he was keeping a close eye on Sam, and Sam knew he was completely safe from most things now. He looked back at Dean and just nodded his head silently.

Sighing, Dean ruffled Sam's hair then paused and tugged Sam into a huge hug, nuzzling his nose into Sam's hair. "If it's gonna make you happy, then we'll do that then."

"Sam? Dean?" Sam pulled back from Dean and looked over at Lo in question. "Come on, if we have to start teaching Dean to see everything you do, we're gonna have to go to Taney."

Sam turned back to Dean and pulled out of his embrace fully, instead gently tugging on Dean's wrist for him to follow.

"Think Sam's ever gonna talk to me?" Dean asked Lo once they'd caught up with him. He glanced down when he felt Sam's grip tighten a little, though Sam remained staring straight ahead and didn't acknowledge Dean at all. Beside him, Loki sighed and shrugged.

"No clue. None of us actually know what happened to him. He talks to me, but he doesn't actually tell me everything that happened. I can guess some things though. One day, no idea when, but one day, I'm sure he'll talk to you again. You've just gotta give him time," Loki told him quietly, so softly that Dean was pretty certain Sam couldn't hear him. He glanced back over at his little brother anyway, just to see if he could see any signs that he had.

"I get what my dad did, you know? I mean, I didn't stop him, didn't do anything to help Sammy, but sometimes, sometimes I can't help but hate him. When I see Sam like this, that hate is just too strong for me to accept Dad did what he thought was right. I kinda hate myself at these times, too."

"Don't." Dean jerked in shock when he heard Sam's whisper and had to look at Loki to make sure he hadn't just heard things, given Sam's facial expression gave nothing away. The slightly shocked look on Loki's face reassured Dean though.

"He's right, you helped Sam. Made a plan to get him out, tried to find ways to find me, you might not have succeeded in any of that, but you helped." Dean sighed and shrugged his shoulders. He could accept what Loki was saying, but he didn't think he'd ever truly forgive himself.

"So, we're going to see faeries? Like, real fairies? Tinkerbell faeries?" Dean asked instead, deciding to change the subject. He couldn't help the slight spark of childish glee that shone in his voice and made Sam look at him with a small smile.

"Yeah, Deano, real faeries."

"If I say I don't believe, do I have to clap?"

"If you say you don't believe, they might give you the clap. I say you risk it and find out."

End Notes: This came to me, amusingly enough, when I was watching Drop Dead Fred. Only I thought what would happen if it was Sam in that position and if the imaginary friend wasn't quite as imaginary as everyone believed. I came up with this.

Now, I dunno how you felt about John's actions in this, but I never wrote this to make John out to be the bad guy. I tried to show that John was just trapped in a situation he had no idea to deal with. So yeah, John wasn't the bad guy in this, he was just a father who wanted to help his son. He just went the wrong way about it.

So, what did you think? Any good? I kinda felt sorry for Sam in this, bless him. Lol. And no, I have no plans for a sequel or anything else like that, so ask all you like, I ain't giving you one! *snicker*