Title:It Had To Be You
Warnings:Slash. Spoilers up to the end of sixth season.
Summary: Sometimes you don't realize what's right in front of you until it's too late. Sometimes you realize it just in time to have it.
Word count: Under 1000 and going up.
DISCLAIMER: The Mark Gordon Company, ABC Studios and CBS Paramount Network Television own Criminal Minds. I just took them out to play and I promise put them back when I'm done.
Feedback is welcomed with open arms.
It Had To Be You
Chapter one: Late Night Guest.
"It's you, isn't it?"
Reid's voice always carries his emotions in undertones. Joy, excitement, worry, sadness, despair. He is different with unsubs he negotiates with, sometimes he is downright emotional, sometimes he is stone-cold logical and assertive.
The emotion echoing in Reid's question is profound sadness and resignation. Too much had happened in past year in their lives, too many changes, too many sorrows, too many goodbyes which Reid abhors.
The arrival of Ashley Seaver could not outweigh JJ's abrupt departure and Emily's death. Not even if Emily herself is secure in Paris. Besides Seaver's future in BAU is under questioning, hers the most from the others.
Aaron knows that Andi Swan has hers eyes on the girl and he also know that what Andi wants Andi will eventually get and even if she doesn't want to go Seaver will go because Dave's connections won't keep her in BAU for long and Dave knows that.
For Morgan is waiting the field office in New York and even if Aaron knows that Morgan is going to say 'no' it's a very alluring offer but they cannot force him to leave unless he doesn't want to.
For Penelope there is an offer with upgrade of her official capacities. From Technical Analyst to Special Agent in Cybernetic Crime. The pay is better, hours are stable. That's the price she has to pay for stepping up. Assertive, driven and vibrant Coordinator of Behavioral Analysis Units. Her position is new, innovative and interesting. Even Strauss praised her drive and a praise from Erin Strauss is a huge one because she doesn't give it often or lightly. Strauss herself isn't planning to let her go but the offer is still an offer and it has to be presented to her for her consideration.
Dave will survive an earthquake. He is too firmly rooted in BAU to be moved elsewhere if he doesn't want to go. There are offers. Of retirement, of leading another unit in BAU. Dave will go when and where he wants to and because he doesn't he won't.
For Reid awaits a position of Unit Chief in White Collar Crime. Keller has been dropping less than subtle hints for a while that the unit would need splendid analyst and great psychologist, doctor of mathematics would be greatly welcomed also a profiler in charge will affect the number of solved cases drastically. It's an upgrade on everything, paycheck, status and in few years maybe another promotion to Section Chief. And if that one isn't alluring enough then there is a position of Unit Chief in Ethics and Internal Affairs Unit in Los Angeles field office. There are other offers but Bureau made it clear to CIA, Interpol and Pentagon that if they want a genius then they should look for one on their own and not steal their employees.
The looming shadow on Aaron's horizon is the position of Section Chief of BAU because the shadow looming over Strauss is promotion to assistant director or the offer of retirement. He has been also given the same offer as Reid but with another unit. Either way his hours will be stable, he won't have to travel much, he will have more time for Jack which is important right now because Jack is heading to school in the fall.
He should be happy, except he is not.
He shouldn't be sitting by the kitchen table, eying his cup of tea (because it's too late for coffee) because Reid came to his flat worried and anxious and Aaron knows where this path can lead, worry and anxiety can quickly turn into cravings and Reid had been clean for four years and he barely started to recover from the depression over Emily's death.
"There are offers," Aaron says softly. "Everybody has them, Reid. You too."
Reid snorts into his tea before he puts the cup back on the table and says, "I get them more often than you think and for longer than you had been hearing. But that I have them doesn't mean that I want to accept them. Occasionally I go to dinners when I feel really low and I want to remember why I'm still here. It's nice to hear compliments while eating in restaurants above my pay grade. But every time I say that I will think about the offer I was presented with I remember why I'm doing what I do. It's who I am and accepting any of those offers would be denying integral part of myself. I know that I can deny cravings, I can deny urges but denying why I wake up in the middle of the night after only one ring is not something I can deny for a long time because if I will start to deny it I will concentrate my full strength on denying and there won't be any left to deny the others. I know that's what is going to happen, Hotch."
"You don't have to convince me of that, Reid," Aaron says simply.
"I don't," Reid says with heavy sigh. "You already made up your mind, I can see that," he adds as he stands up and painstakingly slowly puts his jacket on. "Thanks for the tea, Hotch. I will see myself out."
The distance between the table and the door isn't long but Reid's movements are slower than usual, his shoulders are slumped, head slightly bowed.
"Reid?" Aaron calls after him when Reid's hand rests on the door. "What you want?"
"It doesn't matter," Reid says in resignation. "What I want I'm not going to get. Bye Hotch."
And though the door only click after Reid for some reason the sound of it is as deafening to Aaron's ears as if Reid just slammed them shut.
Aaron doesn't understand it at all.
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