Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or anything associated with the TV series.

River lay in her hospital bed- oh god, they had left? He... he had left? She sat up with much effort, groaning, still stiff- what had she done? She had given up her final regenerations for him... for some stupid words. She had killed him then brought him back and he was going to die anyways- she had, afterall, killed him when she was younger. Or had she? She shook her head confused. It was too hard to keep track of everything she had or hadn't done, the truth from the countless nightmares she had had with the Silence. She shuddered. The Silence... she was glad she was free from them, at least for the meanwhile. Had she killed him all that time ago? Or... so far in the future? Or was it just an image implanted in her mind from the Silence? She sighed. Either way, she had killed him then to her expense brought him back. Talk about counter productive... what the hell had she been thinking? Well, other than about the words he had whispered in her ears. Those words that could or could not be true. True because he said them, not true because rule one; The doctor lies. She would always remember his words. As she eased back into her bed, she closed her eyes, recalling his words yet again.

Having just promised that she would tell River whatever it was he was sure she needed to know, she leaned in, eager to hear his final words. What was it he wanted to tell this woman he kept on mistaking her for? She leaned in, angling her head so it was just above his head. She could hear his uneven final heartbeats slowly whither out to less frequent until, eventually, it would be nothing.

"Tell... tell River I love her. She means the world to me, tell her I love her." She inhaled a sharp breath- he... he actually loved someone? She had killed someone that loved, that was loved. She assured him she would, having the intentions to tell her but get the hell out of there. But then... then when she realized SHE was River. He loved her... or at least, a version of her. She felt her cheeks become warm... she had never been loved before. Now someone loved her, or at least some version of her. Oh hell, she had to give up her lives for love. At least... the chance. She wanted to experience everything, love being one of those. And what was the point to having those lives if she couldn't do what she wanted? And then when her mom had assured her it was worth it...

...And here she was. So the ultimate question- had it been worth it? Had she given up her lives for a worthy cause? He had said it himself, the Doctor lies. But... no. Deep down, he wouldn't lie that much- would he? She smiled. Oh hell, it was going to happen eventually, she was just to fond of guns for it not to happen, paticularily fond of using them. Then people tended to use them back. She sighed. Still, she wasn't convinced he was lying. The conviction, the honest sound of love in his voice- it was love if she ever had heard it, not that she had often. Well, you know what? Only one way to find out- and along the way, she'd figure out if she loved him. She only had one life left, and she was going to make the most of it. She was going to find him and see what was true, make the most of her last life. Besides, she had this great body to live it out in- it was a win/win scenario. She called the nurse into her room.

"Nurse!" A young woman came stumbling in.

"Yes ma'am?"

"Please, can you get me a book of all of the best universities?" She blinked.

"Oh, um, of course. Might I ask why?" She grinned a wry smile.

"I need to find someone."

"A professor?"

"A doctor," she corrected, still smiling, eyes distant.

"Oh, okay. One second ma'am." She was going to find him. Find him and find out the truth. And an archeologist would be the best way to do that...

"Oh, nurse?"

"Yes ma'am?"

"Please, call me River. River Song."

My first fanfic, please review!