AN: Oh Merlin! I finished it! Finally! Also, I was slightly drunk and half asleep when I wrote this so… enjoy. I have no excuses for not finishing it sooner.
Sirius Black was bored. No doubt about it, he was dead bored. James was off somewhere with Evans. Moony was being a wet blanket and studying, for what Sirius didn't know, nor particularly did he care. Peter had headed down to the kitchen and Sirius wanted company that wasn't ridiculously love-struck or boring. He decided to that he would join the fourth Marauder in the kitchens.
He told Remus he was leaving. His friend merely nodded distractedly and muttered something that could have been "finally" under his breath. The sandy-haired young man then buried his nose back into his notes, eyes scanning across the pages with renewed fervour.
Sirius left the Common Room and even started in the direction of the kitchens but changed his mind. Instead, the teen wandered aimlessly, whistling through his teeth. Why was everyone so boring these days? A feminine giggle caught the Marauder's sharp ear and a grin spread across his features. He was bored... So, why not? Following the sound Sirius found the broom closet it had come from. The unmistakable sound of heated snogging came from within. Well, here was a bit of fun at last.
Without warning, the Gryffindor yanked open the broom closet. Only... He was the one in for the shock. Evans... And Prongs... Snogging? In a broom cupboard! No way! He must have said something for the duo broke apart, startled. James' glasses were askew and Evans turned almost as red as her hair and half-ducked behind the lanky Quidditch Captain.
"I... What? I mean... Woah!" Sirius was still flabbergasted.
James, over his shock now, gifted his friend with a sardonic grin. "Sirius Black? Speechless? I never thought I'd see the day." Despite his... erm... previous activities, James' voice was steady and calm. Turning to his companion he said in a conversational tone, "I think we might need to drag him to the Hospital Wing, Lily. He's not talking... And for Padfoot, that's odd."
The red-head whacked him on the shoulder, and, colour still high, mumbled something that might have been, "Be sensible James!"
The boy simply grinned at her rakishly and raised an eyebrow. Every line of his body was saying without words, 'Who me? Sensible?'
Lily seemed to realise her mistake and subsided. She did peer over her companion's shoulder and frown. "Er, James? I think maybe you should take him to see Madam Pomfrey. He's gone a funny puce colour."
Two pairs of eyes gazed at the Marauder on the other side of the door in concern. In James' case it was mock concern but, it's the thought that counts, right? Finally, the bespectacled boy shook his head. "Nah, he's alright. Come on." And with that, he took her hand and led her around the still gaping boy in front of them. "Let's find somewhere a little more... private." The last word was said with a distinctly rakish leer on his handsome features.
As the duo disappeared around the corner, Sirius appeared to come back to himself and mumbled, "Prongs? And Evans? In a broom closet? Merlin... I need a drink.
With that, he headed up to the passageway behind the one-eyed witch and spent a pleasant afternoon in The Three Broomsticks, charming the lovely young barmaid, Rosmerta. He also drank enough that he could, almost, forget what he'd seen. Well, until he returned to the Common Room and Evans and his best mate were wrapped around each other in an armchair. Sirius' last thought before he gave up on what had become an increasingly odd day and went to bed, was that he hoped they'd only started after the younger students had gone upstairs for the night. Some things, impressionable young minds just didn't need to see. That last thought had sounded decidedly Moony-ish so, taking a long swallow out of the bottle clasped in his hand, he amended it to, 'There are some things I don't need to see. Drunk or sober.'