A/N: Hey guys! I realise that the younger Allen who still had his brown hair did not have his scar at his left eye yet, thus I made amendments in the last chapter regarding this.
Other than that, enjoy the chapter!
Chapter 6: The Boy in the Circus
"Time is a figure eight, at its center the city of Deja Vu"―Robert Brault
"Why did Papa and Mama abandon me?"
He heard soft sobs coming from a distance away. It was currently snowing, and people were walking on the streets with blank expressions on their faces, as though they did not hear his cries at all.
"Why am I born like this?"
The sobbing was getting louder as he walked closer to where the child might be. His boots sank deeper into the heavy snow as it started to accumulate in time.
"Why did they throw me away?"
He reached a dilapidated house which was already in shambles. It was obviously abandoned by the people a long time ago. His eyes peered at several wooden boxes placed at the extreme far corner of the place―a trash dump where people avoided and threw the things that they did not want. They ignored it and pretended that nothing was there, as though it was something non-existent.
"Why...did nobody want me?"
He approached the pile, looking beyond the wooden boxes. In there sat a young boy, curling tightly in a corner with only a torn shirt and shorts to protect himself from the cold. His small, petite body was trembling violently. His skin was ghastly white, and he was hugging himself with all his strength he had. There were red stains at his broken nails from his hands which was clawing onto the skin of his arms and at his lips―the blood that was frozen from days living in this harsh winter, and there was probably nothing left to bleed.
The boy slowly turned, his brown, lifeless eyes staring at him with little emotions left.
"Save me..." He pleaded softly.
Sapphire eyes snapped open as Kanda sat up abruptly, gasping between breaths. He frowned in slight absurd as he glanced at the surroundings he was currently in, realising that he was in the church. The raven-haired man stared across the benches, seeing Lavi chatting happily with John while the other Finders were preparing breakfast for the day. Kanda swallowed as he stared at his hand, seeing that same pair of brown, lifeless eyes flashing in front of his vision once again.
"You are awake, Yuu-chan!" Lavi shouted joyfully as he went over to his side, handling him a bowl of food. Kanda grunted as he took the bowl and started to eat.
"I told you to stop calling me by that name."
"This again? Why? It is such a cute name!" Lavi replied with a grin. A vein snapped instantly and Kanda turned to stare at him darkly. The redhead blinked hesitantly as he began to step back, his instincts telling him that the person in front of him was going to do something disastrous to him.
"What did you say, Lavi?" He asked in a soft yet eerie tone.
"H-Huh?" Lavi laughed awkwardly as he stepped further back. The bookman junior excused himself immediately and ran to where the Finders were, keeping a safe distance between the both of them. Kanda had the intention to grab Mugen and shred him into million pieces, but for some reasons, he did not have the mood to do so. The raven-haired man let out a soft sigh as he sat down, finishing up the bowl of food in his hands. He peered at the faint golden rays penetrating through the glass panes. His hand slowly reached out, feeling the warmth which was gradually entering his skin.
Unlike now, it was extremely cold in that dream. And in that dream, he was there.
After eating his breakfast, Kanda set off to the town. John said that he would join him shortly, and Lavi...well, he did not care what that idiotic redhead would be planning to do for the whole day. The raven-haired man stopped by the entrance of the town, seeing the bustling street and people going through their activities as per normal. He grimaced slightly, shading his face as the wind rushed past his shoulder.
Suddenly, the young version of Allen running on the same street flashed in his mind. Sapphire eyes slowly opened, staring at the crowds of people in silence. His feet somehow moved on their own and he was walking inside the town, staring at the surroundings―the stores, the stalls at the roadside, the adults who were chatting among themselves, the children who were running all over the place, laughing loudly. He stopped at a particular shop selling crystals, staring at the shimmering silver ornaments beneath the glass panes.
"So beautiful! I want it!"
His hand slowly reached up and touched the smooth surface of the glass, peering at the silver crystal shaped like a bear as several visions came to his mind.
"Do you like it?"
"Shall I buy it for you?"
His smile gradually faded as he just shook his head.
"No, it's okay."
"I'm scared that I would break it. I am content seeing it here, protected by the glass panes. Furthermore, I can always come here to take a look!" A wide grin then appeared on his face.
"M-Moyashi?" Kanda whispered, his eyes widening in realisation. His heart thumped uncomfortably―a reaction from his body telling him that something was definitely amiss. The raven-haired man turned around quickly, and as he stared at the crowds of people walking by, a familiar shadow caught his eye. Time seems to slow down at this moment, enough for him to catch a glimpse of the small teenager who had the same appearance as the midget he knew.
Sapphire eyes widened in horror.
Kanda rushed out to the main streets, searching frantically for that particular shadow which slipped within the thick crowds seconds ago. He pushed himself across the crowds, trying to reach out for that faint silhouette in front of him which was gradually slipping away. To his frustration, the number of people seems to be increasing, as though they were preventing him to go to that particular person. Kanda growled in anger as he shoved them aside, finally stepping out of the crowd, but that shadow had already vanished.
He hissed under his breath. Kanda peered at the dark alley beside him, wondering what he should do now. It was already strange that he was seeing that person even though he shouldn't be here.
It was John. He was wondering when this Finder was going to contact him.
"Have you found anything?" He asked, leaning against the dirty wall as he watched the town.
"Not at the moment, but we are still searching. How about you?"
Kanda frowned, staring at the sun hanging at the blank sky.
"I―" His voice gradually trailed off as he stared at the fluttering black golem blankly.
"Really? Can I really participate in the circus's activities from now on?"
His vision clouded slightly, seeing a faint shadow of the brown-haired boy who was staring at someone with bright, energetic eyes, saying something to him in excitement. His eyes widened in happiness, and a large grin slowly formed on his lips as he leaped forward to that someone's embrace.
"Thank you, Mana! Thank you!"
"Kanda-dono? Kanda-dono, are you still there?"
Sapphire eyes widened in bewilderment, staring at the golem where the voice seems to come from. Realising that he was in the middle of a conversation with the Finder, the raven-haired man touched his face and shook his head slightly.
"Yeah. No, I haven't found anything yet. Contact me if you or the others found something."
"Yes." The line buzzed irritably for seconds, before it went dead. The raven-haired man stood there for a moment, before he started to sway unsteadily and Kanda had to grip onto the edge of the wall to prevent himself from collapsing. He drew in shallow breaths, staring at the long stretch of road as he recalled that particular scene he saw in his memory just now. Despite knowing that such assumptions which flashed past his mind were simply preposterous, he could no longer deny that the person he was seeing in his sub-consciousness was the younger version of Allen Walker, before he become an Exorcist.
So this town was...Allen's memory? It sounded utterly ridiculous, and he almost dismissed that idea without a thought, but considering the bizarre things that had happened to him, he wasn't too sure about it.
Kanda began to walk forward. He did not know where he was going, but somehow, he just had a place he had to go to. The raven-haired man turned to the smaller street at the left corner of the town, walking up the gentler slope where there were less people around. He looked past a couple who brushed past his shoulder, seeing the road signboards which were pointing to different directions.
"I want to perform as good as Mana!"
He walked past a shop which was selling pretty ornaments and different kinds of equipment mainly for shows and performances. Kanda turned to the right, pacing along the narrow road only enough for one to make his way through. He then saw a large circus tent beyond his vision. Laughter and cheers were heard in the background as a large group of people were gathering. Clowns were juggling the balls up in the air, while one was attempting to blow fire with his mouth.
The swordsman came out to the other side of the main street and stopped. He peered at where the people were mostly going, hearing the familiar sounds of the circus which he saw through his memory a second ago. Kanda approached the large crowd, squeezing through the people as he stared at the circus in front of him.
"Come and help me, Allen!"
A brown-haired teenager emerged out of the white tent. He looked around the surroundings, and as he found his target, a smile appeared on his face as he paced towards the clown who needed his help. Kanda slowly stopped, staring at him in absolute disbelief as he wondered whether he was still dreaming, but from that child's face features and body built which was exactly similar to the person he knew so long, he could no longer deny the horrible truth which was shown in front of him.
"You are really a smart boy, Allen! It's no wonder Mana allows you to help out at the circus!" The clown said.
"No, no! I am so glad I can be of help to everyone! It's kinda bored staying at home with nothing to do anyway..." The brown-haired teen replied, smiling sheepishly. He then left, walking back towards the tent, but suddenly, he stopped. He slowly turned, staring right at where Kanda was standing, and Kanda could only do nothing but stare back at the teen who brought so many nostalgic memories he did not want to remember. The boy then walked towards him, before he stopped a few centimetes across him.
"I haven't seen you before, mister. Are you new in this town?" Allen asked with an inquisitive look.
Kanda found himself unable to answer back.
"You are wearing a weird uniform. Are you in some organisation or something?"
Was this some kind of joke that God was showing him right now, or was he currently sane? Perhaps he was warped back to the past where Allen was before he joined the Black Order? First it was the dream, and now this? Now, he really had the urge to unsheathe his sword and stab right at his chest to check whether he was really awake, but from the lively emotions seen in that pair of brown eyes right now, he doubted that he was dreaming.
He felt a light tug at his uniform. Kanda flinched, his hand slapping off whatever that was touching him by instinct. Sapphire eyes then widened at what he was doing, before he stared at the younger version of Allen who was slightly frightened by his reaction. He stared at him in silence, and for some reasons, he couldn't bring himself to hurt this child. At this, the swordsman let out a soft sigh.
"No, it's nothing."
Brown eyes just blinked, before a radiant smile appeared on his face.
"I see! I like you, mister! Since you are new here, let me show you around!" Allen exclaimed happily as he grabbed his wrist.
"W-Wait...!" Kanda felt himself being pulled away, following the trail that the brown-haired teen left as he ran into the circus tent. The raven-haired man stopped abruptly, breathing heavily as he stared at the activities going on inside in slight astonishment. The brown-haired teen turned around and faced him, flashing a big grin on his face as he spread his arms wide.
"Welcome to my circus, the place where I belong!"
Kanda just stared at the surroundings―the place where Allen Walker grew up and began his first journey after Mana picked him up on a random street. Apparently his foster father was one of the performers of this circus. The troupe was constantly travelling all over the world, and he somehow found Allen and took him along. Since then, he had been helping out here as much as he could. The raven-haired man wasn't really sure how he recalled the details rather well. He only remembered that Allen spoke to him about his past once, out of a mere whim. Not that he was interested though.
"Come on! Don't just stand here!" Allen said, grabbing his hand once again as he led the way. Kanda stared at his hand which was being held by his. It felt so warm, as though this person in front of him was real. Even though it was only an illusion of that beansprout's memory, why did everything look so real? Why did the emotions and feelings he was receiving from the other feel so real, as though he was part of this memory?
They ran into another tent, where there were several beds, a small desk to write and a drawer at the corner, and a cupboard which was probably for them to store their clothes. The raven-haired man scanned around the area and concluded that this must be the place for them to rest for the day.
"Everyone is currently busy preparing the next performance, so no one is around," Allen said, tidying up the beds which were done halfway. His hand touched the thin cloth of the tent which were partially torn and tattered. It was obvious that the circus wasn't really doing well, but life still had to go on. He peered at the cracks on the furniture, before he stared at the teenager who was now folding the clothes at the side of the bed. Kanda stared at the clothes he was wearing intently. Although they weren't in good condition, at least it was better than that time when he was stranded on the cold streets.
A smile lingered at his lips as his feet swung lightly in the air. Kanda found himself wondering the life that the beansprout had spent before he became an Exorcist. What had he been doing as he went on with the life he had right now? The Allen Walker he was seeing right now wasn't the silver-haired teen whom he knew. What had really happened at that particular time before he was sent to the Order?
"Hey, I haven't seen you around before. Are you a traveller?" Allen asked, peering at him as he continued folding the clothes laid on the bed. Kanda just nodded his head in silence. Well, he and Lavi were here for a mission to investigate this town, so they should be considered as 'travellers'.
"I see! It's my first time seeing a person who looks so beautiful!" The teenager laughed. Kanda let out a soft grunt as he turned away, feeling a little uncomfortable at those words coming out from him. Normally if he heard that forbidden word, the swordsman would definitely cut that unfortunate person into bits without hesitation, but that brat probably said it from his mind, and somehow, he wanted to have a normal conversation with the beansprout.
"So you are a Japanese?"
"I'm a British! As I traveled with Mana around the world, I come to love the different cultures in different countries, and I love Japanese culture the most. Oh, I love eating Japanese soba!" Allen exclaimed with a smile.
"You have good taste, Moyashi," Kanda answered with a smirk when his favourite dish was mentioned.
"Moyashi...?" Allen raised his eyebrow in slight confusion.
"It means the beansprout."
"Beansprout...! Hey, I'm already fourteen, going to fifteen in a few months' time!" Allen answered, frowning in displeasure. For the first time, Kanda felt like laughing at the comical face that the teenager was showing. Allen seems to notice his intention and his frown deepened as he stared at him unhappily.
"So why are you here, mister? Do you have anything you need to do here?"
The small smirk slowly faltered as he pondered on his question. It was supposed to be investigating on the strange phenomenon happening in this town which was causing weird behaviours from the Finders who were passing by, but when he walked past the shops and stores that he and Allen had somehow visited once, and met the younger version of Allen Walker right in front of him, Kanda knew that this wasn't just a mere coincidence.
Run, Mana! Get away from me!
Get away from me, Mana! PLEASE!
Sapphire eyes widened as his hands gripped at the sides of the chair tightly. He could hear his horrifying screams within his ears, echoing repeatedly in his head. Kanda hissed as he touched his forehead, feeling slightly dizzy and light-headed. Allen had once told him how he killed his foster father by his own hands, but why was he able to see that particular vision when it happened?
The raven-haired man looked up at the brown-haired teen who was leaning a little too close to him.
"You look pale. Are you alright?" Allen got out of the bed and walked towards him, his hand touching his forehead in concern. Kanda stiffened at the gentle and warm touch descending upon his face as he stared at Allen with wide astonished eyes. Their gazes met, and both of them stared at each other in silence for a moment. His slender fingers continued to caress his cheeks, fondling with his raven strands between them in slow movements. His warm breaths glossed through his lips in the slightest touch. Sapphire eyes slowly widened in shock, and Kanda turned away immediately.
"I'm...I'm sorry!" Realising that he was bringing discomfort to the other, Allen stepped back and apologised. Kanda did not answer, his face continuing to look away as he stared at the cloth of the tent which was moving slightly due to the incoming wind. His hand slowly reached up to his chest, feeling the fast and solid beats of his heart echoing heavily in his head. He could not erase away the strange feeling he had towards Allen which was gradually attracting him.
"I'm sorry... I do not know why I did that either..." Allen muttered softly, biting his lip in frustration. "Just... I find you a little familiar, like I have seen you somewhere."
Sapphire eyes widened.
"But for someone like me to be able to know you, that would be...impossible. Right?" He whispered as his gaze drifted to the ground.
His frown slowly deepened in...irritation?
Allen looked up and stared at Kanda who was staring back at him in a serious gaze. The raven-haired man slowly walked up to him, his hand caressing his chin lightly.
"What makes you think...that you might not know me?"
"What..." Silver eyes slowly widened as Allen stumbled in his footsteps and nearly fell onto the floor. He felt his forehead as he stared at the ground in confusion and slight dizziness, wondering what the voice which was echoing softly in his head just a second ago was. The silver-haired teen shook his head to clear out his mind, before he continued his way to the cafeteria to grab a bite.
He pushed the doors and stepped inside. It wasn't surprising to find so little people in here. Most of them―Exorcists or Finders―were out on missions. Allen stopped at the front of the stall, his eyes reading the menu above. He could have just ordered immediately as he had already memorised what was in the menu―he just felt slightly bored and had nothing to do. The silver-haired teen stared ahead blankly, his mind counting the days which the Exorcists had gone for their respective missions.
Lenalee had just left for her mission a few days ago, and she wouldn't be back within weeks. Lavi and Kanda were gone for three months, and he was starting to wonder when the two of them were coming back. Frankly, he did not expect a mission to be taking so long. The olive-haired girl had once explained to him that there wasn't really any deadline to finish the mission, so as long as they retrieved the Innocence. It might take days, or as long as a year or more.
Or forever? Allen swallowed slightly as he stared at the ground. His hands slowly clenched as he tried chasing away this strange yet uneasy feeling he was getting for these few days.
"Allen? Do you want to order something?" Jerry asked from the counter. Allen looked up, and just as he opened his mouth, he stiffened. Something seems to be stuck at his throat, and somehow, he did not have to mood to eat all of a sudden.
"It's...okay, Jerry-san. I'm just here to take a walk," The silver-haired teen said with a smile. The large-built cook just raised his eyebrow. Allen turned and was about to walk back to his room when the chef spoke.
"Don't worry. They will be back."
Silver eyes widened as he stopped in his footsteps.
"Aren't you worried for them?" Jerry asked. Allen wondered that as well. He had only met them recently, so why was he so anxious about them? Even though he couldn't remember anything about them, why would his heart wrench slightly at that particular thought that they might be injured somewhere?
"Maybe I am. Maybe I am...really worried about them," Allen replied without turning his head. He stepped out of the cafeteria, and he did not stop until he reached the empty dojo where he met Kanda during his training session. He slowly pulled the wooden door aside, feeling the rush of the wind as he faced the empty room in front of him. Allen went inside, and as he stared at the walls surrounding him, he couldn't help but feel a slight tinge of loneliness standing in this large space.
He wondered whether Kanda felt this way as well.
Allen sat down at the other end of the dojo, opening the door to reveal a small garden. The environment was tranquil and so peaceful―an ideal place to clear out your mind and relax completely. He now had a slight idea why the raven-haired man loved to stay here for most of his time when he was in the Order. Silver eyes peered at the ceiling as his hand felt the roughness of the mat gently. He leaned against the door slightly as he closed his eyes, feeling the strands of his hair brushing across his face lightly.
"Why do you keep coming back?"
His eyebrows furrowed as he saw Kanda sitting at the same position where he currently was, looking at a particular direction.
"Why can't I come here?"
"You are a nuisance."
He heard a soft grunt and nothing more. The appearance of the raven-haired man was getting clearer―so close that he could literally touch his long strands of raven hair. That pair of cold sapphire eyes was staring intensely at him. A hand slowly caressed his face, and he could exactly feel the warmth radiating from him.
"No. I come to see you, Kanda."
Unknown emotions he could not identify seem to flow in that pair of eyes. Kanda just continued to stare at him, not making any actions to what he was currently doing, as though he already knew that he would be here, and the intention for coming.
Silver eyes snapped open as Allen gasped, staring at the front in shock. He slowly stared at the same hand which had once touched the other's face in slight disbelief. His head hurt, yet the only thing which was bothering him right now was that memory he just remembered seconds ago. Surprisingly, it hurt, and his heart somehow wrenched slightly at this foreign yet painful feeling he got from the reminiscence.
He stared at the clock, realising that it was time to go. Allen stood up and walked out of the dojo, proceeding his way to the gates to meet the stranger in the town. The silver-haired teen paced down the path leading to the entrance as he entered the town which was bustling with people as usual. He stopped and looked around, before he spotted the familiar figure dressed in white leaning against the wall.
They chatted among themselves as usual, but he wasn't really listening to the conversation. The face of the raven-haired man continued to flash in his mind, and he could not ignore the unbearably warm feeling surfacing whenever he was thinking of that person. No matter how he thought of it, it wasn't right. They were supposed to be enemies. That irritating bastard would find anything to mock him. There was simply no way he would treat this person this gently. He firmly believed it, yet his memory was telling him the complete opposite.
Allen blinked as he looked up at the white figure. They stopped in the middle of the street.
"You seems to be distracted today. What had happened?" He asked in concern.
"No, it is nothing," Allen murmured softly, taking a deep breath in order to calm his heart down. It was impossible. He hated him, thus he wouldn't treat him this way. It was just wrong. Totally wrong.
"Do I look like one who would shake hands with someone...cursed?"
"Bastard," Allen breathed as he frowned. He shivered slightly at the bypassing wind. The silver-haired teen looked up, staring at the blank white sky in silence. Somehow, it felt nostalgic, as though something had happened to him in the past when the weather was like this. His eyes softened as he stared at the floating clouds which passed by.
Silver eyes widened.
No, you can't be doing this to me! No!
His head was spinning, and before he knew it, he was slowly falling forward to the ground. He heard that desperate voice calling out to him once again. Someone was in front of him at that time, but he wasn't able to see his face at all. He just continued to scream hysterically, and he did not answer back. And whenever he heard his voice, his chest clenched, so tight that he could not breathe properly.
"Are you alright, Allen?" A hand reached out and grabbed his waist before he fell. He felt himself being pulled to his feet, but his vision turned somehow blurred and unclear. He stared at the white clown whose face looked slightly funny, and as he blinked, he felt something wet streaming down his face.
"Allen...you...you are crying?"
Silver eyes widened as he touched the tears which had fallen, shocked. The face of Kanda flashed in his mind again. He shut his eyes, not understanding anything. Why would this happen whenever he was thinking of that arrogant swordsman?
And why did it hurt so much?
"Let's find a place to sit down and talk about it, shall we?" The clown suggested. The silver-haired teen said nothing as the adult led him to the nearest cafe which was just a few metres away from where they were. After finding a table for themselves, the white figure went to get drinks, while Allen just sat there, staring at the front in a daze. The clown then came back a few minutes later, buying themselves a cup of coffee and hot chocolate.
"So, what happened just now?" He asked.
Allen stared at the surface of the hot beverage in silence.
"There is this particular person who always messes up my feelings, to the extent which I could not even understand myself."
Silver eyes looked up at him.
"Because he hates me."
The clown did not say anything, gesturing him to continue. Allen showed a faint smile as he began to stir his hot chocolate.
"We always bicker over the slightest thing, but from his eyes, I can tell everything. That person hates me, yet when I began to remember something from my previous memory, he always appear, and his gaze was somewhat...different," Allen explained, stopping the stirring as he took the cup and drank it. The warm and sweet beverage tasted surprisingly good and comforting, and he felt better.
"And I feel a little...weird later on."
"Weird?" The clown questioned in bewilderment. Allen looked down, a faint blush appearing on his face. For unknown reasons, recalling that pair of alluring sapphire eyes sent shivers and slight heated emotions all over him. His body was acting a bit strange whenever he was thinking of him, and he did not even want to think about it.
"Well, this must be my imagination! Hah, don't tell me there will be a time when the both of us would get along with each other!" Allen laughed loudly, shaking his head vigorously as he drank his hot chocolate from his cup again.
"So that means...you are doubting yourself? Your own memory?"
His eyes widened in shock as Allen stopped laughing immediately.
"You are doubting your past relationship with that person? That it will never happen in the way that you are suspecting it to be?" The clown asked again, staring at him in a serious gaze. Allen did not know what he should answer. Doubting wasn't really the exact word to use in this kind of situation. He just...could not believe that Kanda would show such a calm look as reflected in his memory. That guy was extremely bad-tempered and got angry easily―especially at the sight of him alone. Strings of vulgarities wouldn't be enough in their conversation. Somehow, seeing this side of Kanda made him feel slightly awkward.
He looked down at the hot chocolate which had turned slightly cold after a while.
No, we haven't met before.
Allen bit his lip, feeling the slight wrench at his chest once again. He hit that place which was hurting with his hand in an attempt to stop the pain, wanting to forget that particular face which was causing his body to react weirdly.
"Let's go, shall we?"
He felt a slight pull from his wrist as the white clown took his hand and led him out of the cafe. The two of them continued to walk in between crowds of people all over the street in silence. The surroundings were surprisingly quieter, and after a few minutes, Allen found himself stopping in front of a sand dunes. He turned to the adult in slight bewilderment as he went to get himself a wooden branch which was buried partially in the sand.
"Say, Allen. Are you interested in music?"
That particular word seems to hit something within him. Silver eyes blinked, not exactly understanding what he really meant by that sentence. The clown just smiled in reply as he lowered the wooden branch he picked up and began to draw something on it. The silver-haired teen went over to him and stared at the strange symbols he drew along the circle.
"I love music when I was young, and this is one of the music pieces that I deeply love," He said, drawing the last weird thing which looked like a typical beansprout he once tried when Jerry cooked the soup for him.
"It is called Tsunaida te ni Kiss Wo, also known as 'Musician'."
Silver eyes widened slightly, though Allen had no idea why he reacted this way. Something in this so called music was drawing him in, as though he should know about this very well. He squatted beside the drawing, slowly touching it lightly with his fingers.
Soshite bouya wa nemuri ni tsuita
He froze, his eyes widening in shock.
Ikizuku hai no naka no honoo
The white clown stepped forward, stretching out his arms as his voice echoed loudly in the surroundings with the accompaniment of the wind.
Ukabu fukurami itoshii yokogao
Daichi ni taruru ikusen no
His mouth slowly opened on its own, and as tears found its way down his face, he started to sing as well.
Gin no hitomi no yuragu yoru ni
Umare ochita kagayaku omae
Ikuoku no toshitsuki ga
Ikutsu inori wo
Tsuchi e kaeshitemo
Watashi wa inori tsuzukeru
Douka konoko ni ai wo
Tsunaida te ni KISU wo
Soshite bouya wa nemuri ni tsuita
Ikizuku hai no naka no honoo
Hitotsu futatsu to
Ukabu fukurami itoshii yokogao
Daichi ni taruru ikusen no
Gin no hitomi no yuragu yoru ni
Umare ochita kagayaku omae
Ikuoku no toshitsuki ga
Ikutsu inori o tsuchi e kaeshitemo
Watashi wa inori tsuzukeru
Douka konoko ni ai wo
Tsunaida te ni KISU wo
Watashi wa inori tsuzukeru
Douka konoko ni ai wo
Tsunaida te ni KISU wo
His voice was gradually drowned by the wind as he stopped singing. Allen peered at the blank sky for a moment, before he closed his eyes and collapsed. The clown caught the light, petite body into his arms, and as he gazed at the silver-haired teen, he couldn't help but hug him closely to him.
I'm sorry, Allen. But I have to do this.
In order to get the real you back.
Brown eyes slowly widened at that sentence as the teenager stared back at Kanda in astonishment who was holding his chin such that he was seeing him directly. Sapphire eyes also widened at the realisation of what he had just said. Kanda released his hand immediately and stepped back, putting a safe distance between the two of them. He then wondered why he said that all of a sudden.
"Umm...you know...me?" Allen asked hesitantly, pointing to himself.
"Just ignore what I have just said," Kanda said quickly as he walked away. Allen followed him behind.
"Then why would you say that? Do you know me, mister?"
"NO, I don't know you! Why would I get acquainted with a short beansprout like you!" The raven-haired man stopped suddenly and turned around, snapping at him. Allen gasped in surprise as his entire body crashed onto the other. Kanda blinked in slight surprise, his hands reaching out by reflex as he grabbed the teenager by his shoulders. A soft groan was heard as Allen slowly looked up at him in a saddened pout.
"You are so mean, mister. I am not a beansprout! I am already fourteen!"
Sapphire eyes widened slightly. As they stood close, he could faintly pick up a particular sweet scent from the teenager which smelt exactly the same as the older Allen whom he knew. It was refreshing, and it was the only thing that was drawing him to the current silver-haired teen. The raven-haired man slowly moved closer to him, taking a deep breath of the scent at the side of his face. Memories began to flow as images of Allen Walker flashed in his mind.
"M-Mister?" Allen asked.
Despite how much he wanted to deny, he missed this scent and the usual voice of Allen―that soft and gentle tone which would always bring a soothing feeling when he was talking to him.
"No, it's nothing." Kanda pulled away, realising that he had been too careless all these while―revealing too much of his emotions towards someone he did not know. Not that he did not know him but...he wasn't him. He had his shadow, that appearance, that particular scent, that smile, but...he wasn't him.
"Aah, I have forgotten that I need to report to Tom for the training!" Allen slapped his forehead as he gasped loudly. Kanda stared at the sun which was already shining glaringly in the afternoon sky, realising that he too had been wasting too much time here. As he turned and was about to walk off, something grabbed his wrist, stopping him in place. His eyes widened slightly as he turned around, facing the teenager who seems reluctant in letting him go.
"Would you...come here again?"
He knew that it was not necessary to come back here again. The fact that Allen Walker appeared here must be caused by an unknown source, and most of them were confused by the illusion that was shown in front of them. He had to find it before it was too late. And...the Allen who was facing him was only a shadow in his memory. He knew all of these, and had wanted to tell him, but somehow, those words couldn't come out of his throat.
He wondered why he told him that. He would not be meeting him again. So...why?
A bright smile slowly appeared on his face as Allen nodded his head vigorously. He felt the grip loosening at his wrist as the teenager gradually let him go. The swordsman turned and started walking towards the exit, only to hear the voice of the other at the back.
"What is your name, mister?"
Kanda stopped, turning back to stare at the teenager in slight astonishment. That smile reminded him so much of what had happened way before Allen lost his memory, and this one definitely looked happier―before he became an Exorcist.
"My name is Allen Walker! Mana gave this name to me! What's yours?"
His mouth parted slightly, silent for a moment. Even though he knew he shouldn't, he wondered why he said it.
That pair of brown eyes shimmered as he shouted.
"Let's be good friends, Kanda!"
Kanda stared at him, and as he heard that same voice which called out his name once again, he found himself gradually lost in that pair of deep brown eyes which had never looked so alive before.
A/N: Hey everyone I'm really sorry for the late update! I have started working and whenever I came back from work, I am so tired that I couldn't think of anything. I hope that this chapter and the story still attracts you all to read on. I have checked for grammar and spelling errors, but do tell me if there is any!
This chapter is about Kanda meeting Allen in his younger days. He definitely wasn't an illusion. He does not exist, but he was real in a way. From how the chapter progresses, you all may have already guessed what exactly is happening in that particular town Lavi and Kanda were in.
And so, please review!