Disclaimer: I own none, all belong to Joss Whedon
Comments: Always welcomed!
Summary: Xander gets hurt and is on some really nice pain meds. He decides it's time to tell the truth what he thinks about his friends and Spike.
Warnings/Spoilers: Season 5
Lady Q: Write a story where Xander gets hurt and the medicine that the doctor gives him makes him loopy, silly, and honest about his feelings about everyone even his feelings for Spike
Beta'd by: Whichclothes
Buffy helped Xander into the Magic Box. It just wasn't his night. He had been on patrol with Buffy when some big slimy tentacle demon popped out and startled him. All right it scared the shit out of him. But no one could blame him, tentacles freaked him out. So while the tentacle demon was going after Buffy Xander decided to take an offensive to its backside, thinking he could get the drop on it. He was wrong. How was it supposed to know that it had eyes on all the tentacles? Talk about an unfair advantage. It saw Xander's attack coming and used one of its many tentacles to play whack-a-mole with him. Two shots of a tentacle to the ribs and he flew into a lamp post. A day in the life of Xander Harris.
He passed out from the pain and when he came to he was in the hospital, Buffy reassuring him the demon was dead and proceeding to lecture him on getting into a fight when it wasn't vampires. Just what he needed. Xander was happy when the doctor came in, told him he cracked two ribs, and wrote him a prescription for Vicodin. The doctor told him one every six hours and not to use any heavy machinery. Buffy got to drive home. The town really needed to fill in all those potholes.
As soon as they walked out of the hospital with Xander's Vicodin he eagerly popped two, swallowing them dry. What did the doctor know about prescribing pills anyways? Xander was in serious pain! So by the time they made it to the shop Buffy was carrying more of his weight.
"Oh my God, Xander, what happened?" Willow rushed over to him. She hopped from one foot to the other wanting to hug him but afraid to.
"Slimy demon, whack-a-mole, and pills," Xander answered with a grin. "I feel good."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "The doctor said one pill every six hours and he takes two."
"Hey! You're not the boss of me!" Xander pointed a finger at what he hoped was Buffy. There were three of her. "We're not all as lucky as you with super healing abilities. Stuck up bitch." He muttered the last part though everyone heard.
"So the whelp went and got himself hurt again?" Spike walked in from the training room.
Xander's eyes lit up. "Hi, Spike!" he chirped.
The famous eyebrow went up but Spike didn't comment on Xander's happiness to see him. He waved it off as the drugs. Really good drugs.
"I am not a stuck up bitch!" Buffy argued.
"Puh-lease. I love you, Buffy and at one time I would have fucked you through the floor. I would have rocked your world baby! But you thought you were too good for me. Hell I thought you were too good for me, all strong and confident but I realized something. I am too good for you!" Xander nodded his head agreeing with his own statement. "Take that!"
Willow blushed at Xander's crude statement. She could have gone the rest of her life not knowing that. "Xander, you're going to regret saying that in the morning," she chastised him.
Xander barked out a laugh and held his ribs, not completely numb yet. Maybe he'd take another Vicodin when he got home. "What, for telling the truth? Honesty is the best policy." He then turned to Giles, "And you!"
"What about me?" Giles said, his hands on his hips, making Xander think he spent way too much time with Buffy.
"You… need a life! Go out with people your own age!" Xander waved his hand around. "Go get laid, maybe it will get that stick out of your ass. Fuck, you are almost as bad as W-W-Westerly."
"His name is Wesley," Willow corrected and instantly regretted it. Xander's attention was now on her.
Xander pointed a finger at her accusingly. "And you! Always with all the answers, always having to correct everyone just to make yourself feel better!"
Willow's lip quivered. "Xan…"
"No. No. No," Xander said, sounding like a broken record. "No quivering lip or big watery eyes. You are my best friend and I will always love you but for fuck sakes stop correcting every fucking mistake I make! I don't care if I pronounce a demon's name wrong, who gives a shit as long as we know how to kill the damn thing before it kills us."
Xander turned back to Buffy. "Stop making me feeling incompetent. I've been helping you save the world for five years and I think I've been doing a hell of a job! So stop fucking babying me!"
Buffy was speechless. She knew he was right. Not just about her but all of them. Who knew it would take a doped-up Xander to express how he really felt? Instead of talking, afraid it would start another rant, Buffy merely nodded.
"What about me then?" Spike asked. He had his arms crossed, looking defensive. "Gonna tell me how fucking useless I am? How I deserve everything I got from the Initiative? Heard it all from you before, yeah?"
Xander stumbled out of his chair, having to grab onto the table for support. At least he thought it was the table; it didn't matter as long as he didn't have a make out session with the linoleum. Xander might be high but even in his foggy state he knew that would be embarrassing and wouldn't help his ribs any.
"How could I forget about you?" Xander asked. He had sort of a wistful look on his face. "You are… fucking amazing."
Giles coughed and removed his glasses cleaning them when he realized what Xander was about to do. Willow eeped and Buffy brought out Mr. Pointy.
"Excuse me?" Spike asked and his eyes widened. "What did you say?"
"I said, you are fucking amazing. I know you heard me, bat hearing and all that." Xander stood in front of Spike. "You have been through so fucking much and yet you're still here. You're still standing, ready to face whatever this pathetic existence throws at you." He placed his hand on Spike's chiseled jawline and kissed him. It was short and sweet. He pulled away from Spike and looked him in the eye. "I want you. If you don't give this a shot, you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day you'll think back and curse yourself when I am dead and buried six feet under that you never took that chance."
Spike took hold of Xander's shoulders, keeping him steady. "You are a soppy git when you're high, you know that?" Xander nodded. "You're also fucking sexy when you go off on your friends. Can't say I've never thought about it. Not much for lying to make someone feel better am I?" Xander shook his head no. "I'm also not agreeing to anything until you come down from your nice little high. Not going to let you say I forced myself on you. You want it then you'll get it. But it will be all of me. I'm a demon, always will be. Don't plan on having this chip in my head forever."
"Demon good, more stamina," Xander said with a grin and Spike knew he'd have to say everything again tomorrow since Xander obviously missed it.
"Let's get you home."
"Home good, bed nice." Xander twirled around to see his friends staring at him in shock. "No staking him. Spike's mine, I'm keeping him." He then pointed to each of them and said, "Vampire, werewolf and evil mage guy. My turn to have a demon."
Spike wasn't sure what he thought about being kept but he knew arguing right now wouldn't get him anywhere. "You heard the boy, no hurting the pretty vampire."
"He never said you were pretty," Willow pointed out and realized exactly what Xander meant. She really needed to work on that. "Though I'm sure he thinks you're pretty."
"Nice save," Buffy said.
"Thanks!" Willow beamed; she wasn't the smart one for nothing.
"Home now, bye." Xander dragged Spike with him. "Sleep over."
Giles watched as they left. "I have a life." Both girls gave him a disbelieving look. "I do, Tuesdays I sing at that nice little café on Fifth Street."
"Mom's been asking about you for a while," Buffy said offhandedly.
"Really?" Giles perked up. "I haven't seen Joyce in a while. Maybe I should give her a call to see if she'd like to go for a cup of tea. Strictly about your training and such of course."
Buffy and Willow shared a look. "Of course. Just remember I want no details. I still have you and mom on the cop car seared into my brain for the rest of my life." They turned to leave but not before they heard Giles hit the floor. Served him right, Buffy thought with a satisfied smile.