Hello all! Here is another pet horror story, base on true events by Mummacass (bless your heart!) and family.

Written as requested and Cass, I hoped you like this version!


And a wonderful and hearty thank you to my beta, HGRHfan35! Love ya much!

Disclaimer: I don't own CM or its human characters…and the furry fellas 'belonging' to Mummacass!



When Reid walked into the conference for the team's Monday meeting before work started, he sat down and looked at Hotch.

"Hey Hotch," he began.

Hotch looked up from his Tablet with an arched eyebrow, "Yeah Reid?"

"Can I ask you something?"


"I was at The Wild Side's pet shop yesterday and I saw a photograph of you and Jack. It said that you two are banned from that store, um, why is that?" Reid asked, feeling a little apprehensive.

Five pair of eyes shot their interested and curious glares at their Unit Chief, waiting for him to answer.

Hotch studied Reid for a moment and then the rest. For a moment, Reid thought that he was not going to answer him.

But finally, a sigh escaped Hotch before he spoke, "It's actually a long story."

Garcia chimed in, "But we're still ten minutes early."

The rest nodded; each was eager to learn more about their elusive boss.

Hotch looked around and saw their eager faces leaning forward.

He knew there was no getting out of it.

"It started when Jessica bought a Guinea Pig for her son. Jack liked it so much, he promised that he would take good care of it, having learned some pointers from Jake."

The team nodded in unison.

He continued, "Because I wanted Jack to learn about responsibilities, we went to The Wild Side and bought the Guinea Pig and all the stuff that went along with it. So Oddball, don't ask me why he called his new pet that name, was happily installed in Jack's bedroom." Garcia and Derek snickered.

Hotch glared at them, "That afternoon, he saw some commercial about some mechanical toys. They were toy hamsters with wheels and makes funny noise. But the kicker is, they come in different colors. Not just the typical brown, black and white but in yellow, blue, pink and so forth, you get the picture. My son, in his own ingenious ways, was inspired to give Oddball a make-over."

This time, the whole team was chuckling and grinning; they saw disaster coming from that story.

"He decided to dye the Guinea Pig's fur. He knew we had a pack of food dye in the kitchen cabinet and while I was working on some report and I had thought he was playing with his toys, he had gotten hold of the bottles and dyed Oddball blue."

The team burst out laughing. Hotch tried to glare at them but they were not paying any attention to him at the moment.

Emily, restraining her laughter asked, "Oddball, didn't he tried to run away? I mean he just let Jack dye his fur?" Of course it was too much as she burst into another round of laughter.

"I asked the same question to Jack, the boy shrugged his shoulders and said that Oddball was his friend and stayed quietly while Jack played fur-stylist."

"Fur stylist! Oh my god! That's too funny!" Garcia laughed out more, tears running down her cheeks.

Hotch shook his head, "Well, that's not all…my son, the fur stylist decided that the blue on his head didn't look good, so he cut Oddball's fur around his face, actually his whole head ended up furless. I couldn't get mad at him because I was trying hard not to laugh. The name Oddball was now appropriate for him."

"Furless! Blue! Oh man!" Derek was holding onto Garcia, he was now spotting tears at the corners of his eyes. "What happened next?"

Hotch shook his head again and looked balefully at Derek, "We found out the hard way; Oddball was highly allergic to food dye. He went to Guinea Pig heaven later that night."

"Guinea Pig heaven! Hotch!" Emily was trying not to scream with laughter.

"No, it's not supposed to be funny." Hotch stated.

"But it is! Oh shit!" Dave was rubbing his eyes.

"Jack was upset, he didn't know. So he begged again for a replacement. And promised that he would not do that to his new friend."

"So did you? Get a new one?" Reid asked.

"Oh yes. Can't say no to those big sad eyes."

"Oh, you're doomed, Hotch. They learned so fast!" Emily said as she reached over and patted his hand.

"Tell me about it." He looked at her.

"Then what?" JJ prompted.

"So, we went back to the pet store last Friday. The sales people were surprised when I told them what happened; I was trying to be honest. They looked at me and Jack with horror. I mean it was only less than a day that we bought Oddball. So, with condemning looks, they unwillingly let us get another one. Jack told them that he would take real good care of this new one. I was embarrassed because they gave Jack and me very skeptical looks."

The team nodded, urging Hotch to go on.

"So, welcome to the Hotchners, George." He revealed quietly.

The team gasped; of all names to pick!

"I know, I tried to convince Jack to change it but he was adamant. But you have to know that he didn't name it George because of Foyet. He named it George because it was the name of the salesman that helped him choose the Guinea Pig. I was glad Jack had forgotten about his ordeal with Foyet."

The team nodded their heads. They were glad as well.

Taking another deep breath he continued, "The first night for George went peacefully and uneventful, so I thought because I made sure to hide the rest of the food dyes. When I went to Jack's room to read to him before bedtime, I saw Jack holding George while the Guinea Pig was struggling and it looked weird. Jack handed the animal to me when I asked him to and I couldn't believe what my son had done. He hog tied the poor animal!"

Eyes wide went around the table.

"I asked him why he had done that. Jack said that George's claws were hurting him when it moved around Jack's hands, so he figured if he tied its legs, it wouldn't move much and can play with it properly."

"Oh my god!" Garcia blurted. Her mind was running all over; she hoped Jack would not grow up to be some sadistic kid!

Hotch saw her looks and shook his head, "No Garcia, he's not going to be some sadistic person. He was just trying to not get clawed at. And he knew that he was not allowed scissors, knives or any sharp instrument. He wanted to trim the claws."

Garcia sighed with relief.

"But George didn't last long either…"

"What?" the team uttered.

"No…No, he didn't die…well, at that time."

No one said anything.

"Saturday, we went to the park. What I didn't know was Jack had George in his pockets and he wanted to show it to his friends at the playground. The Guinea Pig was overwhelmed with so many hands trying to pet him that he struggled from Jack's hand and jumped down and ran. Jack began to cry and before I realized what was going on, I saw George scurried off into some thick hedges on the other side of the swings."

"Aw! Poor Jack!" Emily looked sad.

"Poor Jack? You mean poor George." Hotch frowned; he couldn't believed using George and poor at the same time. Privately he was glad that Guinea Pig ran away as every time Jack said its name, Hotch shuddered as it reminded him painfully of the other George and what he had done to Haley.

"Jack couldn't stop crying so, fool that I am," Hotch continued, "I took him back to the pet shop."

"Oh!" the team said.

"Yeah, oh. Guess what? The owner of the pet shop came out and pulled me aside. He said that his store could not sell any pets to me or my son. We were irresponsible, he went on. I was truly embarrassed."

"You are irresponsible?" Emily was grinning.

"Didn't they know who you are?" Derek asked but he was smiling widely.

Hotch glared at him, "No. I don't go about brandying about who I am."

"So?" Emily asked.

"They already have photos of us from their surveillance camera. And he showed me the photos of me and Jack."

Reid nodded, his question answered.

"What were you doing at the pet shop anyway?" Hotch asked him.

"I was asked to pick up some flea shampoo for my neighbor, Mrs. Colton. It's for her cats."

Hotch nodded.

Then he saw that Reid was still looking slightly puzzled.

"Reid? Something else?"

"Um…well, you see…the Wild Side didn't have that particular brand of flea shampoo but their sister store has it so I went there and…"

Hotch knew what Reid was about to say and he became very embarrassed.

Reid continued, "Um…your photo and Jack's were also there too." He said quietly. "I asked them about it and they told me what you had just said. And they had distributed your photos to the other pet stores around the county."

"What?" Hotch exclaimed.

The rest of the team was quiet and less than a second later, they burst out another round of laughter.

They couldn't believe their fearless leader was now a pariah at the pet stores all around, and Jack.

They were banned from entering any pet stores in the entire Prince William County in Virginia!

…The End…


So, how about a few reviews? Did you enjoy it? Please let Cass and I know!