Hello dearies! Welcome to the first chapter of the last sequel! This one will probably be rather long, since Lord of the Rings is a fairly long series. Its more adventure/humor now, but worry not! You'll get an injection of crack every chapter! ^_^ So I hope you enjoy it!
Disclaimer: Please don't sue me. I'm broke. Seriously, I can't afford to fix my car, let alone pay you a ton of money.
We sit in the council meeting, completely silent. Lord Elrond had requested that we attend, though by my intervention we sat quietly in the back. I had ordered the others to keep silent, and not intervene.
Somberly, I watched as Frodo declared he would take the ring into Mordor.
Suddenly, Yenaa jumped up and shouted, "For the love of Kami, put the frickin ring in a box, within another box, within another box; all of which can't be opened unless thrown into extreme temperatures...such as, oh I dunno, LAVA!" Huffing, she plopped down in her chair and crossed her arms.
The entire council sat in stunned silence, and Lord Elrond looked at her, contemplating.
Me? I sat with my mouth open, wondering why I hadn't thought of something like that.
Oh wait, I know why! Because in every other Lord of the Rings fanfic the inserted characters magically knew how to fight with a sword, or magic, and were so amazing Lord Elrond begged them to go on the quest to deliver the ring into Mordor! So I figured, since we had ninjas with us, that we'd just do the same. Maybe serve as distractions to the enemy. We could totally pull distractions off.
"And who do you think should then take the ring into Mordor?" I thought quietly for a moment, then said, "Well-"
"No," Lord Elrond interrupted me impatiently. He stared hard at Ema, who had been completely quiet, until she cleared her throat and stood up.
Lord Elrond nodded his approval and Boromir began yelling.
"What? First we have hobbits, nothing but mere children, then WOMEN are assigned to this dangerous quest to determine the fate of Middle Earth? WOMEN? This is outrageous! How dare some mere Harlot waltz in here and-"
He was abruptly cut off as Kakashi pwned him. As Boromir lie twitching, Kakashi put his arm around Ema and kissed her forehead tenderly.
"I'll protect you," he whispered.
My heart thudded painfully and I wished, with every ounce of my being, that Itachi were here.
The council proceeded to agree to Ema, Kakashi, Me, Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, and Boromir taking the ring to Mordor. Of course, Yenaa refused to be left behind. So she came too.
Then Hidan appeared.
There was a stunned silence, and then Hidan opened his mouth.
"What the fu-" I quickly tackled him and covered his mouth with my hand, sending him the Italian glare of doom. Lord Elrond cleared his throat and I realized I was on top of Hidan, in a dress that had risen up to my knees. Which is scandalous in Elven standards.
I sighed with irritation.
"Hidan, watch your mouth."
Getting off of him, I adjusted my dress and attempted to regain the dignity I had just lost. Pfft, there's no regaining that.
Yenaa hugged Hidan and smiled up at him, and he did something no one expected.
He freakin nuzzled her!
The Narutards (guess who!) gawked and Yenaa giggled. Kakashi pulled Ema closer, and I was again reminded of my loneliness.
"For the love of all that is holy in this world, stop being all lovey!" I shouted. Just to annoy me, Hidan kissed Yenaa sweetly, then grinned deviously at me.
Sooo, naturally, I punched him.
I was reminded of our audience when Lord Elrond cleared his throat, and dismissed us.
I stomped outside and wandered into a private garden, and sat with my back against the biggest tree I could find.
Sighing deeply, I wrapped my arms around myself and lay my head on my knees.
So I apparently had fallen asleep outside. I woke up in a soft bed that was NOT mine.
I blinked and looked around cautiously.
Suddenly the door opened and I took my uber awesome I'm-gonna-kick-your-butt stance. Itachi had been teaching me martial arts. (Course, I was mostly doing it so we could be close to each other)
Aragorn walked in and smiled at me.
"Ah, you're awake. I found you outside and brought you in. I didn't want you to catch cold."
I stood up straight and blushed.
"Oh, thank you. Err, I'm not quite sure how to get back to my room from here. Can you tell me how to get to the east wing?"
"Of course! I would have taken you to your room but I did not know where you were staying. I'll walk you there."
So we walked.
I acted like a lady, at least I think so, because really, I didn't want the Elves to look down on me. I wanted to be respectful and not look like a complete idiot. Even though that's hard for me... yeah.
"So you're going to leave Arwen." I stated. So much for acting like a lady.
Aragorn stiffened, and I felt compassion and some regret for bringing it up.
"I had forgotten you know so much about this world."
I nodded, waiting for him to continue.
"Yes, I believe it is wise that we go our separate ways."
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"
Aragorn blinked in surprise and looked at me, slightly offended.
"Dude, she's in love with you, and you're in love with here. You need her, and she needs you. You'll die without her, and she'll die without you. Don't be stupid! Don't throw true love away, that's an insult to those who lost their love before they could truly enjoy it, and for those who are away from their loves, and aren't sure if they're ever going to see them again!"
I choked up. So much for acting lady like.
Aragorn was silent.
"You have a love somewhere. Itachi."
I blinked at him, surprised.
"You were saying his name in your sleep."
I nodded, wiping snot from my nose. Just when you thought it got serious.
We were silent the rest of the walk, and I led the way to my room when I recognized the corridor we were in.
"Goodnight, my lady." And he left.
Great. I offended the future king. Fan-freakin-tastic.
Seremela embraced me upon seeing my face, and held me as I cried myself to sleep.
A month later, we were ready to leave the wonderful haven of Rivendell. Yenaa fist pumped and yelled, "Yosh! Finally, some adventure!"
I rolled my eyes and picked at the tunic I was wearing sadly. I loved the dresses.
Ema looked at me and sighed.
"I miss the dresses!" I chuckled.
"I was just thinking the same thing."
"Fist pump!" We both yelled. There were some chuckles, but really, nothing could break the somber mood.
At the gate, Seremela and Aerandir embraced me.
"Be safe, my child," Aerandir whispered. I teared up and hugged him tighter.
"Thank you both, for everything."
They smiled and each kissed my forehead, and we left.
"Are we there yet?" Yenaa asked again.
"No!" Boromir growled.
"But I thought this was supposed to be dangerous! And fun! And we were gonna kill stuff!"
"Hell yeah!" Hidan chuckled darkly.
"For the love of everything that is holy, SHUT UP!" I screamed.
"That wasn't nice Kiko."
"I. Don't. Care."
Five minutes later...
"Are we there yet?"
Ten minutes later...
"Are we there yet?"
"NO WE ARE NOT THERE YET! WE AREN'T GOING TO BE THERE FOR A LONG TIME. STOP ASKING!"
Fifteen minutes later...
"Are we there yeeeettt?" Yenaa whined.
I punched her arm.
"Shut up before I stitch your lips together!"
"Meanie face," she grumbled.
I rolled my eyes.
"Whatever," I grumbled back.
We walked in silence.
Thirty minutes later...
"Oh God, just sing something to yourself or play I Spy or something!"
"Great idea! I spy with my little eye, something..." she thought for a second, "green!"
"Grass," I said sarcastically.
"Damn, you got it," she murmured.
"...You've got to be kidding me."
"That's so obvious, stupid!"
"Exactly! It's so obvious that no one would guess it!"
I growled and punched her arm again.
"Ow! What was that for?"
"Now now children, stop arguing," Gandalf reprimanded.
"But she started it!" We both yelled.
"This is going to be a long trip."
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