[A/N] - Hi! Welcome to this story, written for my author-in-arms/friend Qu33rzi, who has written a bunch of awesome stories for the MTNN archive - check them out!

Since we both have August birthdays, I decided to write this up just because I could. Happy birthday, Qu33rzi!

By the by, this is only chapter one. I'm not quite sure when I'll get chapter two out, since school starts tomorrow, but let's hope for the best. :D

Disclaimer : I do not own Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro in any way, size, shape, or form. If I did, Yako would be short one sadistic demon.

"Louse, why are you trying to make such a pitiful escape attempt this early? Are you so eager to wash the floor with your undeserving excuse for a face?"

So said Neuro as he sat atop Troy, mercilessly grinding his shiny black dress shoes into Yako's head while she lay on the ground.

"Mmpf, mmpf! Gah!" Yako was allowed to free herself for a moment, after which she used her hands to support her upper body while she tried to catch her breath and straighten up. "Like - like I said, today's my birthday and I promised my mom that I'd be home early today!" She rubbed at the multiple sore spots on her face as she spoke, making them turn a vivid red. She could see Akane swinging her braid around in the pattern that meant she felt bad for Yako but wasn't going to dare try and stop Neuro from abusing her, lest her remaining body be threatened with one of the 777 Tools of the Daemon World that released… anything, really. Godai sat in his desk with his feet propped up, sleeping and oblivious to her plight.

Neuro's face took on the look that plaintively said, "Humans are so idiotic."

"As sensible of a lower being that your mother may be, why would she - or anyone - want to celebrate the day a dishrag like you floated into this plane of existence?" His mocking question came complete with an evil smirk that bared his shark's teeth and the flexing of his gloved hand as he returned to his past time of crushing Yako's head in between his hands.

"Gyahhh!" Yako's eyes bugged out of her head and she could only wait until his grip loosened slightly so she could focus on forming a question. "How would demons do it in the daemon world, then?" She hung limply in his grip, her feet clear off the floor. Said floor came up to greet her face once more while Neuro contemplatively put the hand that had been holding her up to his chin.

His face now came up with the "deceptively human yet still looking down on a lower species" look.

"In the daemon world, we do not celebrate births. As immortals on a tier far above that of you lowly humans, we celebrate deaths whenever they manage to occur." He had the fake smile on his face that told her that he felt like celebrating someone's death soon.

Yako took a sideways glance from the floor to look underneath Troy and half-smiled mirthlessly. 'Manage to happen?' "Well, humans are a bit more… optimistic than that, I guess."

Her head became the footstool for Neuro's shiny shoes. "Oh? Do try to enlighten me with your words that waste this world's air, louse."

"It's kind of like the exact opposite of what you said. According to you, humans die because they're lower life forms." Yako kept back a grimace.

"I'm enthused to see that I've been furthering your education of your heritage." Neuro smirked down at her, once again flashing his razor sharp teeth.

"Well, and that's why we celebrate births, because they replace what this world loses through death. I thought you'd at least be happy more minds are being born for your food supply, Neuro…"

Neuro seemed to take that statement into real consideration. Yako could tell by the fact that his feet remained at constant pressure on her head, rather than increasing with each passing moment.

A knock sounded at the door and Yako nearly sighed in relief.

"Coming!" She extricated herself from the floor and walked past Akane who had shrunk behind the wallpaper on the wall to crack open the heavy, gray door. Her eyes widened as she pulled the door open completely to reveal the figure behind it.

"Mom! What are you doing here?"

Katsuragi Haruka flashed a grin at her daughter and pouted. "What, I can't go visit my own daughter once in a while when she works? How cruel."

Yako had to suppress the urge to hang her head in defeat. 'If someone here is cruel, it's definitely not me.'

"That's not what I meant."

The older woman crossed her arms. "Well, you weren't home yet and I felt like you'd forgotten, so I came to come get you while I was in the middle of cooking."

Yako felt her cast-iron stomach drop. "… You didn't leave the stove on, did you?" 'Other than that, what could you possibly have been "cooking?"'

Haruka waved her off. "Oh, don't worry. I had the others keep an eye on it for me while I went to get you."

"Others? Who else-"

"Did you invite your assistant to come?" Haruka interrupted, switching gears. "I'm sure he'd enjoy some home cooking."

"Ah, no… I - I didn't think he'd want to go, and besides, I wanted to spare -" She spoke quickly, trying to ignore the feeling of dread curding in her stomach.

Neuro had put on his "demon posing as a kicked puppy" face. He put a finger up to his cheek and tilted his head. "I can't go?"

Glancing at the acid-green eyes that promised painful torture if she refused, Yako smiled, mouth twitching as she choked out the words. "Of… course you can, Neuro. Come on… let's…go…" Defeated, Yako followed her mom out the doorway, Neuro coming up from behind. He took a glance at Godai, who was still sleeping. Picking up a stapler next to his feet on the desk, Neuro accurately lobbed it at Godai's forehead. The second assistant woke, nearly falling out of his chair with a stream of curses flowing freely from his mouth.

"Slave number two, you will watch the office while we are away."

"I've already fricken told you! I'm not a damn watch dog! Like hell I'm going to -"

Neuro shot him his signature sadistic smile, his eyes glowing as he continued, "If you fall asleep again, I will find out how many seconds you were unconscious and rip that many bones out of your body, one by one."

With that, Neuro left and pulled the door shut behind him, muffling Godai's shouted curses.

[A/N] - Yes, I know, it's very short. I can't say I put a GIGANTOR amount of thought into details here, but I hope it's good enough for everyone to enjoy! Please, review and tell me how I'm doing, since this is my first story for this archive! Chapter two coming... eventually! x3

Dedicated to Qu33rzi! Tanjoubi omedetou!