(A/N) SPOILER WARNING! IF YOU HAVEN'T READ UP TO CHAPTER 346 OF THE MANGA, DON'T READ THIS! Almost every part that is separated by a bold line switches the POV. Letting you know so that there's no confusion. Goku and Yama's feelings towards each other as they progress through the original plot of Akira Amano. I remembered most of these parts from my proof pages that I've created on . The original plotline and characters are not mine but Akira Amano's, only the thoughts and feelings (and some of the lines) are mine. Some parts are inaccurate since I couldn't remember some stuff. And the Primo parts from G.'s perspective were totally made up. And the part before they rescue Enma. Hope you enjoy~
The boot came slamming down on my hand again and I tried not to scream. I wouldn't show weakness to this guy… What was his name again? Alpha? Beta? No, it started with G… Gamma. That's right. Gamma.
As Gamma pulled me off the ground by my shirt, I looked over at Yamamoto.
The fallen rain guardian was face down, his hand limp around his sword. From this distance, I couldn't tell if he was breathing or not but it didn't look good. The rain guardian wasn't moving.
"Don't tell me he's dead," I thought as I was thrown to the ground. "Don't tell me my stupid pride killed him."
Him. My, dare I say, best friend. The one who yelled at me for being a doofus. Him, who laughed whenever I yelled or threatened him. Him, who somehow knew how I felt. Understood me.
"Please," I thought as I drifted towards unconsciousness. "Tell me I didn't kill him."
The last thing I remembered was Gokudera, his face clenched in pain as Gamma tortured him. I remembered trying to move and then I don't remember anymore.
I woke up in a hospital bed, the kid staring at me. He was my only patient.
"So you're awake." The kid jumped off his chair and onto my bed.
"Where's Gokudera?" I asked. If I had made it back, then…
"He's still unconscious. He's in the room next to yours. But," the kid smiled, as if reading my thoughts, "he's alive."
I sighed in relief. "I'm glad."
"Even though his pride almost killed you." The kid stared into my soul. "If you had worked together from the beginning, you might not have been as hurt."
"We still would have lost. And you know, even though I was pretty mad at that too, I couldn't help but notice how… amazing Gokudera's fighting style is. I mean, it has some strange beauty to it." I stared off into the distance, a faint smile on my lips, only broken when the kid spoke up again.
"Spoken by a boy in love," he smirked and I felt the heat rush to my face.
"So you know, huh kid?" I laughed. "Guess it is obvious."
"To everyone except Gokudera," the kid remarked and I laughed again. How true.
"Speaking of that idiot, I'm going to go check on him. Maybe he woke up while we were talking about him." He jumped off my bed and headed for the door.
"Oh, and uh, kid?" He turned around.
"Don't tell Gokudera I said that. I want to tell him myself someday."
"Sure thing." The kid smiled and left.
I woke up to the Tenth's concerned face looking down on me.
"I'm sorry, Tenth!" I sat up and then collapsed back down when my side exploded in pain. I groaned as my hand followed suit.
"Gokudera-kun! Don't sit up so soon!" Tsuna cried, gently holding me down.
"He's right, Stupidera. Don't injure yourself further," Reborn-san said, jumping onto the edge of my bed.
"Reborn!" Tsuna complained and then grew serious. "How's Yamamoto?"
"Conscious and talking."
"You mean he's-?" My heart lifted.
"-alive," Reborn-san finished for me, smirking a bit.
I was silent. How relieved I was! I'd thought for sure he was dead. That my mistake had killed him. Thank God…
Realizing what I was thinking and how it would look to the Tenth, I grew a dark expression.
"Che. Damn," I growled and pretended like I wanted him dead.
Reborn-san smirked at me and I knew he somehow had known what had gone through my head in those two seconds.
I remembered we had had a party.
After me and Gokudera had healed, we had trained like heck. Sometimes we trained together, but most of the time Gokudera wanted to train alone. Didn't want to see my, "damn ugly face" as he put it, while training. We worked pretty well together, not that he'd ever admit it.
Anyways, it was the day before the raid on the Millefiore Base would take place. We were having a party, for reasons unknown to me. But what the heck, it was a good party.
I remembered stealing Gokudera's cup, thinking it was juice, and then nothing else. I guess I had gotten drunk.
All I knew was that, as we headed put out of the base, Gokudera refused to look at me.
What did I do? Did I say something wrong? Did he somehow figure out my feelings? All of these thoughts flew through my head as we left our base. I wasn't focused enough during the raid. I kept thinking of Gokudera.
He finally looked at me as the floor started sinking beneath me.
"Yamamoto!" He flung himself to the ground and held down his arm. "Grab my hand!"
I smiled at him sadly. No way could I reach that, not while carrying Lal Mirch. He stared at me, intent on not letting me go. I wished it was for me. But I knew that he only wanted to save me because otherwise, "the Tenth would be sad".
"You'll lose your arm!" I heard future Ryohei shout and Gokudera's arm disappeared.
As we were firmly separated, I deluded myself to think that, just this once, he had wanted to save me for me.
"So," I thought as I charged at Genkishi. "Why wouldn't you look at me?"
That was the last thing I thought before I slammed into the wall.
That was not how I wanted to wake up.
I blamed it on the alcohol. I was under the influence. Didn't mean to do that. Didn't really feel that way.
I was glad I had woken up first. If Yamamoto had been awake… No, it was easier this way. Easier to pretend like it hadn't happened.
I remembered that Yamamoto has stolen my wine and then had gotten drunk. I guess I got drunk, too, after that.
But damn. Waking up in his bed with my shirt off was not how I wanted to find myself in the morning.
I convinced myself that we must have only gotten to the stage of taking off shirts before passing out. I mean, Yamamoto had all his clothes on. However, something inside told me it didn't go like that. That we did… make it to home plate. Oh god, the thought of even DOING something like that with him…
No, this was not how I wanted to start the raid.
Heading out was easy enough but focusing was the hard part. One wrong move and I was dead but I couldn't stop thinking of THAT. Damn, why'd this have to happen right before the biggest mission of our lives?
I pinched myself ten times. Once more for good measure. Focus!
It was cold and dark when I woke up. It also seemed like there was pain everywhere. Every part of me hurt.
It felt like hell. Dammit, it probably was hell. I thought I had had Gamma covered, but I guess I ended up killing myself.
"I'm sorry, Tenth. I didn't mean to die!" I thought, hoping somehow my words reached the Tenth.
And then I thought about Yamamoto.
"He'll probably cry. He's such a weakling like that." I smiled at the thought. "I'm sorry, Yama. I wish I could have told you that I never hated you. You always thought it was hate, but it wasn't. It was… Well, truthfully I don't know how I feel about you. But it's not hate. It never was. I wish I could have told you that."
"We found him!" A voice called from above.
"Kusakabe?" I thought, recognizing the voice. "What are you doing in hell?"
"Did you really?" Chrome too? Did all Mafioso go to hell?
Suddenly, arms grabbed me and I realized an amazing fact. I was alive.
I don't remember much after that. We went home, trained with the Arcobaleno, and then the Choice. Now we're waiting for the Primo. I hope I can get myself together before my Inheritance.
I stood in the dojo, focusing my breath as I've been doing a lot lately, when I felt a presence. I looked towards the doorway and saw Gokudera standing there.
"What's wrong?" He asked bluntly. I was hopeful for a moment before he added, "The Tenth's worried about you."
I sighed. Maybe I would have told him if he'd been the one worried.
"Nothing's wrong," I said, refocusing on my training.
"Don't lie to me! You've been acting weird and-!"
"Nothing's wrong," I restated firmly.
Sighing in annoyance, he left with that little Hibari Arcobaleno following him. I briefly wondered where my Arcobaleno had gone, but quickly refocused on my training.
After my Inheritance, I tried to make it up to everyone about how stony I'd been. I felt bad about pushing away Gokudera like I had.
But even though I acted extra cheerful, no one said anything or looked at me in relief. I guess they were just happy I was back to normal again.
An amusement park. A damn amusement park! This was supposed to be an inheritance to the mafia! Not some kid's playtime! All he had to do was get stamps! What kind of test is that? He's pretty much just having fun! Not even taking this seriously!
Yamamoto fell against me, as if purposely stopping my mind-rant, and I scooted away in disgust. How the hell did I end up in a spinning cup with Yamamoto and I-Pin? The poor Tenth had to ride alone with Lambo. Why wasn't I in that one? Stupid Yamamoto pulled me into this cup with him and I-Pin! Che. Won't forgive him for separating me and the Tenth!
After stupid cow got his first two stamps, we went into the Tunnel of Robots. I nicknamed it that because it looked like the Tunnel of Love only with weird robot things. What was wrong with this amusement park? Aliens would be way better!
Yamamoto pulled me into his boat which again separated me from the Tenth. A double offense! What was wrong with this guy?
"This is pretty cool isn't it?" Yamamoto commented, almost falling out of the boat trying to get a closer look. I pulled him back into the boat by his shirt.
"No, it's not. What are you, a little kid?"
As soon as I said that, the robots came to life.
We all sprinted out of the boats and ran for the exit. When we got outside, I stopped and faced the tunnel.
"Go on, Tenth! I'll hold them off!" I shouted as I blasted the first robot with my flame arrow.
Too late, I saw a robot come up from behind me.
I started to defend myself when Yamamoto ran up and sliced the robot neatly in half.
"Damn, that was awesome," I thought as I nodded at Yamamoto in thanks. "And he looked pretty hot too..."
Freezing, I slapped myself. What was wrong with me? Did I really just think that? I must be feeling off today… No, I'd felt off since that time I woke up from the party.
"That was pretty fun wasn't it?" Yamamoto commented as we left.
And I didn't know how to answer.
The next day something seemed different. Gokudera seemed different. He was too… calm. Where did my… uh… the feisty bomb-expert go?
I was about to say something when someone said, "Don't say anything."
I looked around, trying to find the person who had spoken. It almost sounded like… Ugetsu?
"Don't say anything," the voice repeated. "I'm talking to you telepathically so just think what you're going to say."
"That you, Ugetsu?"
"Yeah. Now, don't mention that Gokudera's acting different. For one, that's G and two, its part of his Inheritance so don't interfere."
"Ah okay." This was an odd conversation. Who ever heard of telepathy actually working? And with a ghost! Gokudera would be thrilled.
"Do you feel the same way about G as I feel about Gokudera?" I asked.
"Depends. How do you fell about Gokudera?" I could almost fell the smile on his face.
"I-I love him." It felt weird to say. It sounded weird in my head so I wondered how it would sound out loud.
"Then yes, I feel the same way. Yamamoto, I'm going to give you some advice. Don't wait to tell Gokudera how you feel. I waited until I was twenty-five to tell G how I felt. And you know the Primo died at twenty-seven, right? Because I waited, I lost precious time I could have spent with G. You have to remember that Mafioso always have short lives, Yamamoto. Don't waste time."
That was how our conversation ended. I didn't like what we had talked about. Losing Gokudera was unimaginable. How could I ever live like that?
In soccer that day, Gokudera and I were on separate teams which I usually would have been sad about. But since this was G, I was kind of excited to test his physical abilities.
"Not going to let you get away with that!" I shouted as I slid, trying to knock the ball away from G.
But he jumped and kicked the ball over me. The ball hit Tsuna in the chest and shot into the goal.
"That was awesome!" I thought, standing and wiping the dirt off my knees. "And he looked pretty hot too. Even if it was G."
Even though G was a cool person, I was glad when Gokudera came back.
After we beat Byakuran and went back to the past, everything was peaceful. Until the Shimon came.
My phone rang while I was taking notes on Shitt P. and I was annoyed to find that the caller ID said: EXTREME SASAGAWA RYOHEI! How did all of these people keep getting my phone number?
"What do you want?" I yelled into my phone. When he responded, my eyes widened. I dropped the notebook I'd been writing in and ran.
Yamamoto was attacked, badly injured, in the hospital, in the middle of surgery, unconscious, in a critical condition, the doctors say he might never be able to walk again, he might die, HE MIGHT DIE.
I clenched my teeth. I wouldn't forgive whoever did this!
When I got to the hospital, I ran up to the front desk.
"Yamamoto Takeshi," I panted.
"I'm sorry," the clerk said, typing on her computer. "Yamamoto-san isn't ready for patients…"
I ignored her and started stomping off in a direction until I heard, "Oi! Octopus Head!" and turned the other way.
Walking into the hallway where Turf Top was standing, I looked in the closest room.
Ten doctors surrounded the bed where Yamamoto was connected to about a million tubes. His face was emotionless (which scared me to the bone) and there was a cup over his mouth to help him breathe. The heartbeat monitor kept slowing down and speeding up.
My heart and stomach wrenched and my legs almost gave out from under me. I sat on a bench before immediately standing up again.
"We need to call the Tenth," I said, heading for the mobile phone that was sitting on a desk near the bench I'd fallen onto.
"He's visiting the Ninth who I extremely don't know the phone number of."
Picking up the phone, I dialed the number of the Kudaime.
"Identify yourself," came the response on the phone.
"Gokudera Hayato, Tenth generation Vongola Storm Guardian. Now get the Tenth! It's an emergency!"
I tapped my foot impatiently as I waited for them to retrieve the Tenth. I tried not to think of Yamamoto in the next room.
"Gokudera-kun?" Tsuna's voice came over the phone. "What happened?"
"Tenth, Yamamoto he's …" I choked up. It was hard to say. Hard to admit as if saying it made it worse. "He's in the hospital."
"He's what? I'll come right away!" And he hung up.
I put down the phone, my hand shaking so badly I almost dropped the receiver. I wobbled over to the bench and sat down again. I rested my elbows on my knees and tried not to cry.
G stood in a dark place. You could never see anything in this world except through Gokudera's eyes (which were all blurry at the moment) and other ghosts.
G stared at the place where he'd last seen his lover. Ugetsu was slowly fading. G closed his eyes. He couldn't watch this. He couldn't watch Ugetsu die again.
My blurry eyes caught hold of Byakuran.
"You better hurry," he said. "The Vongola need your help."
He disappeared and I sat up, struggling to remember what had happened. I'd been attached by Kaoru… and now I was in the hospital.
Understanding, I received help from an old guy and ran to the island to help my friends.
G stood in front of Ugetsu's fading form, trying to keep his lover from disappearing. Suddenly Ugetsu solidified and G's arms flung around him.
"Don't do that," he murmured into Ugetsu's chest. "Don't ever make me watch you die again."
Ugetsu wrapped his arms around G. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
Images flew through G's head: Ugetsu falling, that man laughing, G killing the man while tears ran down his face, G getting shot in the back, and as he lay there dying, G begging Ugetsu to turn his head and look at him.
"Those two will get together soon," G said, slightly pulling away from Ugetsu to look up at him. "Gokudera is starting to have a change of heart."
Ugetsu laughed, a sound that G hadn't heard in a long time.
The night before we went to help Enma, I moved my sleeping bag closer to Gokudera. Wrapping my arms around him, sleeping bag and all, I pulled him closer to me. He flinched so badly it almost gave me a heart attack.
"What are you doing?" He hissed as he tried to get out of my embrace. However, the sleeping bag made it impossible to move so all he accomplished was a weird dance.
"Gokudera, I wanted to tell you that I love you."
He stopped struggling/dancing and did his best to look up at me.
"What?" He quietly screeched, his voice cracking.
"So, please. Can we stay this way, just for tonight?" I pleaded.
He grunted and turned around but didn't move away. Gratefully, I buried my head in the space between his shoulder and neck and closed my eyes.
He was warm. Everywhere his body touched mine; I felt an intense heat that burned my skin. His arms wrapped around my sleeping bag covered waist felt secure, though from what I'm not sure.
As we lay there together, I wondered how we had gotten so close. When had we gotten so close? I could have sworn that a few days ago I would have pushed him away if he even tried to come near me.
I reasoned it must have been when he was attacked, almost killed. Then I had realized how much I would miss him if he died. And I guess I also realized how much I loved him.
After everything was through, Gokudera came up to me.
"What you said," he started, his head down so his bangs were covering his face. "Better not have been a joke!"
I tried to remember what it was I had said when he pulled me down by the collar of my shirt and kissed me.
The kiss was fierce and sudden but it was also sweet and gentle. Being with Gokudera, I guess I'd have to get used to his contradictions. But I didn't mind.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and moved my head down, deepening the kiss.
G and Ugetsu sat in the dark place holding hands. It wasn't so dark now that they were in each other's presence.
"Soon indeed," Ugetsu laughed and G smiled.
(A/N) Just my idea on what happened to the Primo. I could be completely wrong but, since no one really knows, this is just my opinion. During this story, my faithful red pen that I had been using reached its last legs. You served me well pen! Even though it was dying, I liked the effect it had on the part where Goku was saying his apologizes to Yama when he thought he was dead. While he was thinking to Yama, the pen started dying and then revived when Kusakabe came onto the screen. I liked how it indicated that Kusakabe was Goku's grip on reality. I would also like to point out that Goku and Yama thought the same things about each other during the robot scene and the soccer scene. Just thought I'd point it out to whoever missed it.
I don't know where I got the Primo/Decimo telepathy thing. Something that has to do with the psychic waves that come from Gokudera's antennae… I don't know, I'm weird XD The "dark place", that G and Ugetsu are in, is the Vongola rings. Hope you enjoyed this story following closely to the main plot :) See you next time~