Disclaimer: Glee doesn't belong to me. *le sigh*
Written for the gleempreg weekly challenge on lj.
With a yoga mat on his shoulder, a pillow in his hand, and Dave's hand in his other, Kurt strode into the center, ready to face down his demons.
"Dude, you're going to Lamaze class, not war." Dave Karofsky muttered as the grip on his hand seemed to tighten.
"Shut up, David. And what have I said about calling me dude." Kurt replied, as he paused in front of a notice board to double check…make that triple check the location of the room.
"Yeah, yeah…don't." Dave responded, rolling his eyes at his friend. "Why are we stopping? You were just here last week with…"
"Don't mention his name. I'm mad at him." Kurt exclaimed, cutting Dave off before he could utter Kurt's husband's name.
Dave regarded the smaller man for a moment then rubbing at the corner of his left eye. "Well, alright then. Forget I said anything."
"Thank you." Kurt smiled at the other man. They might not have started out on the best of terms as teenagers; but in the years since, Kurt considered the former jock, his best friend well…besides his husband of course.
Dave returned the smile with a grin of his own, letting his eyes drift across the bulletin board at all the notices for different classes offered at the center. "Come on, dude. Let's get to this. I'm hoping to catch at least some of the last period of the Philly/Boston game."
The smaller man narrowed his eyes, glaring at the former jock; Kurt knew that Dave called him 'dude' to get on his nerves, and for once the fashionista wasn't going to take the bait. "That's not going to happen. I hope Ethan is DVRing for you, cause otherwise, sucks to be you."
"Don't mock my pain. That's not cool, dude." Dave responded tugging on the hand that was still firmly entwined with his own. Although, they were just friends, Kurt and Dave held hands like a couple; it was just something they did and nobody seemed to care (except for raised eyebrows from Burt the first few times he had seen it—which had lead to an awkward conversation or two about respecting ones sufficient other and not cheating on said sufficient other).
Kurt turned at the tug, looking pass Dave's shoulder and turning slightly white at what he saw. Slipping the pillow in front of his 32 week belly, he slid in between the wall and Dave's back, using him for cover from what he just saw.
"What are you doing? Auditioning to be my new shadow?" Dave asked, turning his head without turning his body to look at Kurt behind him. "Well, sorry Peter Pan, that position has been filled."
"Sshh." Kurt ground out as he stood on his tip toes to peek out over Dave's broad shoulders. "I'm not hiding. I'm enjoying this shirt. Is this a poly-cotton blend?" Kurt remarked as his hands skimmed across Dave's shoulders.
With a roll of his eyes, Dave moved his shoulders back and forth, attempting to shake Kurt's wondering fingers off him before the pale fingers found his ticklish spot. "Will you stop that?"
Kurt's hands dropped off Dave but he didn't move from his hiding spot. Turning his attention back towards where Kurt had been looking before he hid, Dave eyes took in an older woman standing not far from them. "Are you honestly hiding from a little old lady?"
"Shut up." Kurt hissed. "Not so loud."
"This is just getting ridiculous, Kurt. Your Lamaze class starts in 10 minutes and if we're late, you're going to blame it on me and I don't like it when you blame me." Dave stated.
"And why is that?" Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow, which Dave couldn't see but knew he was getting just based on the tone of Kurt's voice.
"I'm pleading the fifth."
"Uh huh." Kurt replied dryly. Peeking out again, Kurt watched as the woman turned her gaze towards them, causing him to duck back down.
"Kurt as much as I love your neuroses, 89.2% of the time, I'd like this to stop because this is so not how I imagined my night going." Dave told his friend. "I imagined me on my sofa with a beer, a pizza and my husband…not necessarily in that order, watching some hockey. But instead, I'm here with you, because your husband, who I can't name, made you mad and you've decided to go passive aggressive on his ass."
The pregnant male huffed, shoving Dave in the back at his assessment of the current situation. Dave grinned at the shove, content in the knowledge that he had apparently hit a nerve with Kurt. "So what has grandma done to you?"
"Grandma as you so accurately put it is only guilty of being my grandmother."
"Say what?" Dave exclaimed, his head making an awful sound as he looked back and forth between Kurt and the woman. Now that he really looked at her, he could see the family resemblance between the two. "I don't remember seeing her at your wedding."
"You wouldn't." Kurt replied. "After my mom died, Dad tried to stay in contact for me, but it was almost as though they didn't care. So he simply gave up."
"That sucks." Dave remarked.
"It happens. Although, I've heard that I have a lesbian aunt who lives in a commune in Canada with her wife."
"Interesting." Dave said, slightly confused at the turn this conversation was taking. "What kind of commune?"
"No clue. And does it really matter?" Kurt responded.
"Nah, just making conversation." Dave told Kurt. "Which is now becoming awkward, because she is headed in our direction."
"Wonderful." Kurt said, pushing Dave in the back as she drew closer. "Don't smile at her, I can feel you smiling and then she'll think you're a crazy person. While you are, that's beside the point, she just doesn't need to know it."
Dave rubbed his forehead; he could just feel the beginnings of a headache coming on. "And yet you love me, anyway."
'Of course, I do David." Kurt grinned. But it quickly fell as the older woman stopped in front of Dave.
"Hello, Kurt." The woman said, smiling at the father to be. "You've grown."
Kurt looked at the woman, eyebrows raising slightly in shock at her knowing who he was. "It happens." He replied curtly. Dave nudge him with his elbow for his tone, feeling the softest of the pillow that Kurt was still holding in front of his expanding midsection.
"Of course. So how are you?" She asked, grasping at straws, trying to make this conversation lasts as long as possible.
"Good. Married…expecting my first child in a few months." Kurt responded, unable to keep the smile off his face when he mentioned the little creature currently making its home in his stomach.
"Congratulations, Kurt." His grandmother told him. "I'd love to meet your wife, is she here?"
And with those words, the smile fell of Kurt's face and he felt as though he had just been thrown into a freezing ocean. Dave sensing his friend's unhappiness bumped him with his elbow, knowing that the pillow would provide cushioning from hurting the smaller man. Kurt glanced at Dave, who had turned his face towards Kurt while the pair had been talking. The former jock returned the glance with one of his own, clearly letting Kurt know that they should leave and now.
"Actually, no, my husband isn't here." Kurt replied, his voice dripping with a false sugary sweetness that anyone could tell was nowhere near what he was really feeling. "And this is my friend, David."
"Oh." She replied, her earlier smile lessening a little. "So you are using a surrogate?"
"Kurt. Lamaze starts in five and I think we should really be going. I know how you complained last time about not getting a good spot on the floor." Dave remark, smiling a little, attempting to lighten the mood and get Kurt back in the good mood (or semi-good mood) he had been in before this woman had showed her face.
"You're the one pregnant!" The woman gasped, letting her shock and then the disgust show. "Well, your mother would probably have a few words to say about that."
"Lady…I don't know who the hell you think you are. But I think you should leave, you're not wanted. And if you open your mouth again, I'm not above hitting you." Dave growled out, enjoying as the woman flinched at the last bit of his statement. "Come on, Kurt. Lamaze class then ice cream and we can even call that husband of yours to join us."
Kurt smiled at his friend, liking the idea of ice cream. "You'd voluntarily miss your hockey game for ice cream."
Dave grinned, ignoring the woman as he stepped in line with Kurt and slung his arm around the smaller man's shoulders to steer him down the hall and towards the Lamaze class. "Dude, for you, I'd make you ice cream if it meant you smiling."
The fashionista giggled at his friend's remark. "Remind me again why I didn't marry you?" Kurt asked coyly, reaching across Dave's body and grabbing the free hand in his as they walked, ignoring the older woman and leaving without a backwards glance or even a goodbye.
"Cause, Ethan would have kicked your ass." Dave replied, tugging on the hand in his. "And your husband would have tried to kick mine."
"Only tried?" Kurt asked as they rounded the hall's corner, putting them one step closer to the room for Lamaze.
"Yeah, tried. Your husband could never take me."
"So you claim." Kurt chuckled as Dave opened the door for Kurt and allowing it to swing shut after they had both passed through its doorway. "But do we really have to call my husband, because if we don't then that means more ice cream for me. And I'm still mad at him, anyway."
Dave snorted at Kurt's remark, humored by how quickly Kurt could jump back into the realm of selfish when it came to his food. "No, Kurt we don't have to do anything you don't want to; but I would like to hear what exactly your 'wonderful and loving' husband has done now."
Kurt glanced at Dave, pausing briefly in his task of spreading out his yoga mat. "'Wonderful and loving'?"
"Your words not mine." Dave retorted, walking behind Kurt and wrapping his arm around Kurt's back, supporting the smaller man as he helped him down to the floor.
"Lies, I tell you, lies." Kurt exclaimed, grinning at his friend, causing the former jock to roll his eyes in reply. "Now hush, class is starting." Kurt poked his tongue out at Dave as the teacher called the class to order and the former jock settled onto the floor next to his best friend.