A/N OMG! I'M NOT DEAD! Well I know that most of the people who read this story read my other stuff and know I am not dead but just wanted to be clear on that. Anyway, so after hanging upside down for wayyyyy too long I suddenly remembered this thing! And so I looked in my dusty request book and saw that MAVK4444 is next up with a chicken request! Mavk 4444 I do not even remember what the request is really supposed to be. I just remember chickens and that is all I wrote down in my book. WAIT. CHICKEN WHISPERERS… I remember now. I hope this is what you want and I am so, so, so stinking sorry that I have not updated this in forever! But since I injured my poor wittle foot in dance and can not go to class tonight, I have decided to try and write this. I realllyyyy hope you like it!
Carlos was extremely excited, even though it was only 5 AM. He was hopping around the kitchen singing "Down on Grandpa's Farm" very loudly, dressed in a red flannel shirt, blue jean overall's, and a straw hat. To Mrs. Knight he looked adorable, but to Kendall, Logan and James he looked absolutely ridiculous.
"Carlos why are you dressed like a hick?" James asked, appalled by Carlos' outfit choice. The Latino smiled and shrugged off James' insult, deciding that the brunette was just cranky because it was so early.
"Because I can't wait 'til we get to the farm!" Carlos exclaimed. This friday morning was not just any morning. It was the morning that they were all going to go visit a farm 2 hours away from the PalmWoods and the overly-bustling city. All of the kids at PalmWoods school were given the day off of school to go do something different and experiencing something had never done before, and then write about their experience over the weekend so that they could read their outing to the class on Monday and share what they learned. After several suggestions of what they could do (Carlos' being a trip to the farm), the youngest finally won the argument with his puppy dog eyes and quivering little lip.
"I don't wanna go to the farm!" Kendall said, emerging from his warm, dark bedroom. He was bitter about the fact that he had the day off of school, yet still had to wake up 2 hours earlier than usual just for Carlos' little farm escapade, because apparently farmers did all of their work in the morning for some ungodly reason.
"Too bad, you have to for school!" Mrs. Knight said. Kendall pouted and slouched on the couch, figuring that it was ok to act childish if the sun wasn't even up yet. The blonde looked up at Carlos' farmer's get-up and chortled.
"Carlos you look hideous!" Kendall shrieked, slapping his own knee forcefully as laugh after giddy laugh escaped his lips.
"Mrs. Knight they're making fun of me!" Carlos said sadly. He kind of liked his overalls. Mrs. Knight giggled and went over to him so she could pinch the squishy apples of his pink cheeks.
"I think you look cute!" She exclaimed. Carlos beamed.
"Can we just go and get this over with?" Logan whined. Carlos started jumping up and down excitedly. Kendall and James muttered their agreements, and Logan drove the entire 2-hour long trip. It felt like a 6 hour drive, however, because Carlos insisted that he play his new bluegrass CD that he had bought specifically for the occasion. The banjos were driving Kendall, Logan and James bananas.
Finally, they arrived to a driveway that winded between acres upon countless acres of sprawling green hills and fences. The grass was littered with trees, and cows, and goats, and chickens, and geese, and all kinds of other farm animals. Even Kendall had to admit it looked pretty cool, while Logan pointed out every animal he saw to Carlos and told him what they were. James was pouting in the backseat, fake-gagging because of the icky animal smell.
Finally, they pulled up to a huge, rickety white farm house that was situated in front of a giant red barn. Carlos ran immediately to the tire swing that was tied to an oak tree in front of the house, while Logan, James and Kendall greeted an old man with a pitchfork dressed in the same attire that Carlos wore.
"Well hey there boys," he said jovially with a thick, southern accent. The boys had to suppress giggles as they had never heard someone talk like that before, having only lived in Minnesota and LA their whole lives. "Are you them singing kids from the PalmWoods school, here to learn about life on the farm?"
""You're darn-tootin' we are!" Kendall said enthusiastically, pumping his arm in front of his chest. Logan elbowed him in the gut, but the farmer was either used to kids making fun of him or didn't hear the insult in Kendall's voice, because he just kept on yapping.
"My name is Farmer McDonald and this is my farm! I'll be showing you kids around today!"
"Oh my God, your name is McDonald and you have a farm?" James asked. "How ironic is that!"
Logan gasped and tugged on James' perfect brown locks. The pretty boy shrieked and brought his hands to his head, making sure not one hair was out of place.
Again, the farmer didn't really seem to get that the teenagers were insulting him. Carlos skipped over and the 4 boys introduced themselves, and Farmer McDonald led them down a path as he went on and on about how they were all going to pick apples, pet a goat, milk a cow, gather eggs, feed the chickens, and, if they were really good, ride a horse. All 4 of the boys couldn't hide their excitement for that. Not one of them had ever ridden a horse before and they couldn't wait to try it out.
The boys grabbed their baskets that Farmer McDonald gave them and they spent a good hour picking apples. Than they petted a goat as promised, as well as fed a baby bunny from a bottle and looked at a couple of ostriches. The farmer even had some alpacas and donkeys.
After the little petting zoo, the boys got to try their hand at milking cows (well, Kendall, Carlos and Logan did. James freaked out and refused to touch a cow) and then they all had a picnic lunch. The boys had to admit that they were having a very fun time so far, just being outside and learning about furry animals.
"Well, are you boys ready to go feed some chickens!" The Farmer yelled, and the band mates all cheered enthusiastically. They grabbed their egg-gathering baskets and ran down the hill to the chickens after the farmer gave them all instructions.
Apparently though, Carlos didn't listen closely enough to the farmers instructions because, not even 3 minutes after they started gathering eggs and laying out feed for the chickens, Carlos started trying to feed the birds by hand and pet them, which is something the Farmer McDonald told them specifically not to do.
""Here, chickie chickie chickie," Carlos said in a sing-song voice, holding out his palm filled with seed to a particularly large rooster. The rooster bobbed his big head and eyed Carlos warily.
"Carlos, what are you doing?" Logan asked protectively. To be honest, the chickens kind of creeped him out, with their beady black eyes and their sharp beaks.
"Feeding the chickens like I am supposed to do!" Carlos said, annoyed. Logan was breaking his concentration on trying to get the rooster to come to him.
"Leave him alone Logan, let the kid have some fun," Kendall said, searching for any eggs hidden in the tall grass.
Logan sighed in aggravation and swung his basket, giving up. "Fine, but if Carlos gets attacked by a territorial chicken, don't get me involved."
Everyone ignored Logan, and the smart boy turned his back and started searching for eggs, letting Carlos do whatever he wanted to do. Moments later, he heard a cacophony of sounds that just did not sound good. He heard wings furiously flapping and angry "BAWKS! BAWKS!" rang through the gentle wind that was blowing across the farm, followed by cries of pain and shouts of "GET OFF ME, STUPID BIRD!"
"Carlos!" Logan yelled, turning around to see Carlos being quite violently attacked by not just one chicken, but an entire angry mob of 4 or 5 of them. The young boy was rolling around in the grass, flailing his legs and arms every which way in hopes of getting the chickens to leave him alone.
"Carlitos!" Kendall screamed, running to Carlos' helpless body. He started kicking the vicious poultry off of his younger friend. He managed to scare off all of the chickens except for the one large rooster, who continued to peck at poor, screeching Carlos, unfazed by Kendall's Van's flying at him.
"Aah, get off of my friend you beast!" James cried. He had enough of watching Carlos get pecked to death. He ran towards the rooster with his hands in a choke-hold, but the rooster turned around and smacked James in the face with his wings roughly before continuing his tyranny on the little Latino, who was now writhing in pain and crying.
"He's a demon bird!" James wailed, who was now on his butt because of the force of the chicken's wing.
"Help!" Logan screamed, hoping Farmer McDonald would hear his cries, but the old man was in his house, baking pies or whatever it was that farmers do.
Carlos rolled around on the ground while the chicken scratched and pecked him relentlessly, as James and Kendall tried feebly to scare the demonic chicken away. Logan stood back a safe distance away from the strange and terrifying scene, until he suddenly remembered something as he searched his overly-informed brain for some way to help Carlos.
He remembered seeing a show on TV once, about evil, mean dogs that were calmed down by special people who could connect with them somehow. Logan thought the idea was pretty far-fetched, but he figured that about now, he might as well try anything before his best friend could be mauled by the monster bird any longer.
Logan approached the chicken very slowly and in a low, gentle whisper he said, "It's ok little rooster. My name is Logan. I'm your friend-"
"Logan! What the hell are you doing?" Kendall asked, fearing for his best friend's sanity. The smaller boy had a habit of losing it when he was put in harrowing situations.
"Ssh! I'm whispering!" Logan said. He got a little closer to the rooster and continued to talk in a soothing voice. Suddenly, the rooster slowed his assault on Carlos and cocked his head to the side, staring at Logan with those tiny, creepy eyes.
"Hi chicken, yeah. That's it. Just get off of my friend and no one will be hurt," Logan whispered, feeling absolutely ridiculous.
The rooster gave one last bat of his wings and surprisingly enough, hopped off of Carlos and stared at Logan.
"Um, guys? I'm scared," Logan squeaked. He closed his eyes as the rooster ruffled his feathers and raised his wings, and he flinched and jumped 3 feet in the air when it let out an ear piercing "Cock-a-doodle-doo!"
"Ahhhhh!" Logan screamed, bursting into tears and covering his head with his arms.
"Logan, calm down! Look! He went away!" James said in amazement. The rooster had let out a scary crow and then hopped away as if he didn't just almost murder a teenage boy.
"Oh my- bipolar chicken!" Kendall cried, pointing at the terrifying bird. He then looked down at Carlos, who was moaning and crying, scared out of his mind. "Carlos!"
The 3 older boys rushed to Carlos' side. James and Kendall stroked his hair and tried to comfort him while Logan assessed his injuries.
"You have dozens of scratches and peck marks but once I get them cleaned up you should be fine," Logan said. He looked up at Kendall and James. "Help me get him to the farmhouse?"
"Got it," James said, carefully picking his small friend up and cradling him in his arms. "It's ok Carlitos, Logan's gonna fix you up."
Carlos moaned and buried his face in James' shoulder. "He was so feathery and evil!"
"I know Carlos, he's gone now," James assured him.
"Yeah, Logan's a real modern day chicken whisperer," Kendall said proudly, giving the pale boy's back a fond pat. The boys made their way up to the farmhouse, where Kendall confronted the farmer.
"Farmer McDonald! Your chicken just maimed my best friend!" Kendall yelled. The old farmer looked up from where he was whittling a piece of wood and squinted at Carlos, who was huddled in James' arms, shivering from the shock of the attack.
"Well hot dang!" The farmer exclaimed, peering at the traumatized teenager.
Carlos lifted his head up just long enough to scream "I hate chickens!" before burying his face into the warm crook of James' neck again.
"Awwe, not all chickens are bad!" The farmer cooed, giving Carlos' head a pat. "You just came across ol' Diablo."
"You have a chicken named Diablo?" Logan asked. "And you didn't think to warn us?"
"No, I guess I forgot to bring it up! He'll be ok though, won't he?" The farmer asked. Logan smacked his forehead with his palm.
"Ugh, James just give me Carlos so I can put some peroxide on his cuts!" Logan said, holding out his arms so he could help Carlos into the bathroom.
"First aid kit is in the cabinet!" The farmer said cheerfully. Logan was very close to kicking the farmer where the sun failed to shine.
"Come on 'Litos, I'll make it feel better," Logan said, putting his hand on Carlos back. As he led the hurt boy to the bathroom, he could hear James in his best deep, heroic voice, say "There goes Logan Mitchell, boy band vocalist, best friend, and chicken whisperer."
"Whatever James," Logan said, his cheeks blushing pink.
'But you're a superhero, Logie! You can wear red tights and a chicken suit and save people from demonic chickens!" James called out. Logan just ignored him, feeling his skin flush with humiliation, but he couldn't ignore the next comment.
"You can call yourself 'CockBoy,'" Kendall teased. "The majestical cock-whisperer."
Logan turned around and attacked Kendall about as ferociously as the chicken attacked Carlos for that one.
A/N Hahahaha! Omg who am I? I hope this was what you wanted, Mav! Was this really funny or is my brain just whack? Either way I loved writing this! Please, please review and tell me what you think it would mean the world to me!
PS I really am sorry I have neglected this and I still have everyone's requests, just working slowly through the list!