Maid For Crime

Ichigo Kurosaki is his family's well kept secret and, possibly, the means to their success. His father is an eccentric genius name Kisuke Urahara, his mother a notorious thief named Yorouchi Shihoin, and his older twin, Shiro, is known as the demon of the streets and leads his father's Visoreds. Ichigo grew up within the night world of the Underground, surrounded by crime and less than noble figures. He learned quickly who he can and can't trust, living behind his older twin's aggressive behavior. Kisuke and Yorouchi were very careful to keep Ichigo's presence and identity a tightly guarded secret, as the orangette isn't like them… he can be far worse than any demon when pressured. Although Ichigo is dangerous in his own right, Shiro is his protector… the one who's always there when he needs help. He loves his older brother with all his heart, but sometimes he just wants to take care of himself. So when he's the only one called into his father's office, his hopes rise considerably.

"Ichigo," Kisuke smiles. "I have a mission for you."

"For me?"

"Yep. You see, Los Noches is off the map now," he states. "Aizen has been killed and the territory is up for grabs… but it would seem someone has already gotten it."

"What? But… it's not even been a week."

"I know, so whoever it is must be very powerful and feared. I need to know who this person is, so I'm going to ask you to go into Los Noches and find out."

"… No one ever gets out of Los Noches once they go in," Ichigo frowns. "Not even Shiro could do that."

"Which is why I'm sending you. You're more adaptable than your twin, I trust that you'll find your way back out with ease," Kisuke grins. "After all, isn't that what you and your mother are good at?"

"… Yeah," he smirks. "Okay, I'll deal with everything, just leave it to me."

Kisuke nods and watches his son turn to walk away, head held just a tad higher as a cocky smile touches his lips. In all truth, Kisuke isn't the biological father to the twins… but he did raise them. Their parents were good friends of his, but died the day they were born and Kisuke took them in with Yorouchi, his wife. They told the boys the truth when they were old enough to understand, yet they saw no reason to call people they never met their parents and continued to view those that adopted them as such. It didn't help that Ichigo and Shiro took after Kisuke and Yorouchi more than those that bore them, something that still stumps the blonde genius. Sometimes he wishes he didn't need to draw on Ichigo's endless talents and potential, hoping to preserve some of the innocence he drew from his mother. Unfortunately, Ichigo is a protector and won't stand for sitting on the sidelines. Ichigo is a rarity, a male that appears so feminine he's almost ethereal and his genius is almost vindictive at times. Seeing as he took after Yorouchi greatly and the woman favors the child she raised as her little girl, there's no way in hell Kisuke will deny his 'daughter'. One Yorouchi is scary enough when angered, but to stare down two of them is just suicidal!

Ichigo walks the streets of Los Noches, turning heads with every step and ignoring the dropped jaws with little difficulty. The orangette has never been picky about what he wears, not exactly a cross-dresser and definitely not against it. In his line of work, you can't be picky when it comes to an escape route. The newspaper in his hand has a few jobs in the want ads circled with a red marker, the nineteen year old needing a job in order to blend in better to get the information needed. To his disgust and utter shock, the best paying jobs… and the majority of those in the ads for Los Noches… included strippers, prostitutes, and even lovers. He was lucky to have found the ad for the maid, though he had to read the paper three times before coming across the small thing. He looks over the address once more, clicking his tongue as he runs crimson painted nails through his spiky orange locks. Normally, he would have a wig or extensions put in, but he's not overly keen on getting jumped and yanked back by his hair. With a sigh, he catches the street he's looking for and starts his pace once more. He takes the elevator of a posh apartment building to the sixth floor, walking down the hallway to the only door on that floor that leads to the large expensive flat belonging to the one who placed the ad. Ichigo knocks, tapping a foot impatiently as he waits. The door opens and a man with a single eye, as the other is covered with an eye patch, lets his jaw drop. He starts at feet clad in spiked crimson heels, lets his eye linger up mile long tan legs, soaks in the mid-thigh black skirt, drools over the white button up although it covers a flat chest, and trails up a slender tan neck to stop on a gorgeous face. Plump lips frown slightly, a fine straight nose set between high cheekbones, and amber orbs shining in irritation beneath brilliant orange locks.

"Holy fuck!" the man states loudly. "Please tell me you're a stripper."

"Do you own this flat?" Ichigo sighs in a huff.


"Thank god!" he breath in relief. "I'm looking for the one who placed an add in the paper."

"Let her in, jackass!" a sultry voice growls from inside.

Ichigo shivers at the sound, not at all unpleasant, and walks past the tall lanky man at the door. He knows he should turn around and leave, yet he really needs this job in order to carry out his mission. When the orangette enters the dining room, he stops short at the sight that greets him. The man slumped over the table as though defeated is the most beautiful masculine creature he's ever seen. Teal locks pushed back and sticking about his head in perfectly imperfect spikes with a few strands hanging in his face, flawless tan skin, a wonderfully ripped frame packed with hard muscle, and Ichigo swears he has to stand around six foot one. When the man with the strong jaw and seemingly impossible Greek statuesque looks glances up, the smaller male can feel his knees go weak… his eyes are a piercing and untamed cyan.

"Hmm… You're answering the ad?" he questions with a purr.

"Yes," the teen breaths out. "I… My name is Ichigo Kurosaki."

"You'll do nicely," the teal haired god grins widely. "When can you start?"


"She's a fucking beauty," the other grins slapping Ichigo's ass. "Can I fuck her, too? I always share with you, man."

Ichigo yelps at the smack, eyes blazing with murderous intent. He turns swiftly, his fist swinging and connecting with the taller man's gut to bring him down to Ichigo's level. After that hit, his knee jerks upward and jars the seven foot tall man's jaw.

"Fuck, Nnoitra, are you okay?" the teal haired male snickers.

"I did not come here to be fucked by anyone!" Ichigo snarls. "I'm answering the ad for a maid, dipshit! The next time you touch me, I'll happily break every fucking bone in your hand! Got that?"

"Got it," Nnoitra groans from the floor. "You can keep her, Grimmjow… She's too feisty for me."

"I'm so sorry, Ichigo," Grimmjow says while trying to hold back laughter. "It would seem your papers got tossed into the wrong pile. I had placed two separate ads, but the only one I've been getting answers for has been for a lover."

"I see. Well, if that's the case, I think I might have to place a few rules," Ichigo frowns. "You wanted a live-in maid, I can handle that. Don't touch me, don't enter my personal space, and don't even think about hidden cameras or perverted photos of any kind. I don't know you, I don't want to know you beyond my job, and if you fuck with me I swear to every god in this world I will fuck you up!"

"Mm-hm," Grimmjow hums with lazy eyes as he gazes at Ichigo. "When can you start?"

"… As soon as possible," the orangette remarks cautiously.

"Your room's at the end of the hall," Grimmjow states. "Last door on the left. You'll be getting $100 a week, but I'll pay you every two. I don't care what you wear, but I'll pay you an extra $50 to wear the uniform…"

"Each day."

"… Excuse me?"

"You'll pay me $50 each day I wear the damn thing," Ichigo frowns with hard amber orbs. "I don't like playing dress-up to provide wet dream material for over-hormonal men. I also don't like people ogling me for any amount of time. If I'm gonna dress in a sexy maid outfit, which I've no doubt in my mind is the one you're providing, I'm gonna be paid handsomely for showing off for your fantasies."

"Kick her ass out!"

"Do you want my heel up your ass?" Ichigo snaps. "Don't test me!"


"Huh?" both Ichigo and Nnoitra ask in unified shock.

"I'll give you $50 each day you wear it," the gorgeous sex god grins widely. "Anything else you'd like to say before I finish?"

"You'll be cleaning your fucking room your damn self," the slender male huffs. "I don't mind as long as you don't leave behind used condoms and stained sheets. You keep your personal life from my eyes, or you won't like my response."

"Which would be?"

"… I don't want to ruin the surprise."

The tone is playful and sends shivers of want through the two men, but the amber eyes promise pain and suffering. That's the only thing that has Nnoitra wondering if his best friend's gone insane… and Grimmjow hardening faster than he ever has. This new girl isn't a firecracker, she's a fucking explosion!

Ichigo is allowed the first day off, as he only just arrived and Grimmjow wants him to get situated. The orangette is nothing if not an opportunist, slipping out to go 'grocery shopping' so he can gather rumors and gossip off the street. Of course, he still has to do some shopping thanks to the teal haired male's complete lack of ability to keep his kitchen full. Honestly, no wonder he's looking for a maid! He's completely useless around the house!

"Hey, baby," a man purrs from alongside a building. "Why don't you come on over here. I can make it worth your while."

Ichigo ignores him, strolling past and looking down at his list. He's aware of the footsteps that follow him… far more than just one person. Narrowing amber orbs in anger, Ichigo breaths deep to calm his temper and keeps his path toward the store. Before he reaches said store, however, his upper arm is grabbed roughly.

"I said get over here, you snooty bitch," he growls out.

"I have more important things to worry about," the teen snaps. "I suggest you let go before I kick your ass."

The man snorts derisively, raising a hand to lay it across the smaller male's face. This, unfortunately, only serves to throw a truckload of gasoline on the fire that is his temper. They can practically here the flames go up in a rush of sound before he twists his lips into an ugly snarl, swinging his fist without a second thought. Two other men are with the first, leaping to grab hold as Ichigo ducks beneath their arms. He turns quickly, his foot slamming into one of their stomachs to drop them before the orangette jumps back to heel kick the other. With his two buddies unconscious on the ground, the first man isn't quick to attack again. The smaller male huffs, walking off as his heels click along the pavement rhythmically. His attacker-turned-victim can only stare in utter stupefaction at the chaos the youth has left in his wake.

Ichigo has never been so furious in his life! The whole four blocks he bothered to walk to the store he received twenty gropes, fifteen advances, three attempts to jump him, ten offers to be paid for sex, a offer from a pimp for a job, and absolutely NO FUCKIGN GOSSIP! What the hell has this world come to when the streets are lined with women and there's no gossip? He grumbles to himself as he stomps up to Grimmjow's door and slams it open… straight into something hard. He hears a groan, a blast of numerous cackles, and a few curses. Opening the door a little wider, he peeks in to see a silver haired male almost pouting as he rubs his backside. Ichigo is thrown for a minute, as the silver hair is reminiscent of his twin, but collects his bearings upon seeing the fox-like eyes.

"Sorry," he offers sincerely. "I'm so sorry, I didn't think anyone would be standing there. I was just so upset and…"

"What got you upset?" Grimmjow wonders.

"Don't ask!" the orangette immediately growls. "The men of Los Noches are complete perverts just begging to taste the end of my fucking shoe! How the hell do women survive here without being someone's property?"

"Oh yeah, that reminds me," the larger man says chirpily. "I have a present for you."

"… A present?" Ichigo asks cautiously. "What kind of present?"

The teal haired male tosses a box to his new maid, a smirk Ichigo certainly doesn't find promising in the least. He's about to drop the groceries when the silver haired male catches the box for him.

"Grimmjow, she has eggs in that bag!" he frowns.

"Whoops, sorry," he grins sheepishly.

"Here, sweet thing, I'll take those."

Ichigo glares, ready to nail the upside the head with said bags eggs be damned, when Nnoitra hurries over to relieve him of his weapon. At the questioning look from both the amber eyed orangette and the silver haired fox, he shrugs as he makes safe distance between himself and the violent maid.

"Gin is as straight as a fucking rainbow, so don't abuse him for a misplaced comment," he grumbles. "And, Gin, you need to be more careful around Grimmjow's future murderess."

"… Future murderess?" Ichigo mumbles. "What the hell did I miss?"

Shrugging off the question, Ichigo opens the box… and immediately has to hold himself back from leaping at the teal haired male and tearing him a new one. There, resting innocently on white velvet, is a collar with a silver gothic six charm almost the length of his palm.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he hisses. "You'd better pray you're kidding."

"Sorry, but if you don't wear that you'll be tainted by the end of the week," he waves off. "You'll thank me, I promise. Everyone here has a symbol, that one's mine. If you aren't wearing it, you're free territory people will strive to claim."

"… This sucks," Ichigo growls.

"Just wear the damn thing and no one will bother you. I'm near the top of the food chain here, they're not that stupid."

"So… who's the top?" Ichigo questions curiously.

"Aizen was."

"Yeah, but he was killed, right? Someone had to have taken the top."

"Nope, not yet. People just grew comfortable with the chain Aizen made, so they're going about life as though he's still here," Gin smiles. "See these guys? They're Aizen's Espada, and I was his right hand man."

Ichigo eyes the carefree looking bunch, remembering tales about them the made his blood run cold. Just by description he knows most of them… Stark Coyote, the lazy sniper. His wavy shoulder length brown hair and goatee, half mast blue-grey eyes, and slim six foot five frame. Tia Hallibel, the temperamental weapon specialist. Shaggy blonde hair with three long braids littered about, green eyes filled with steel, and a petite five foot six body of curves. Ulquiorra Cifer, Aizen's number one hacker. His small five foot six figure, large green eyes with matching tattoos running down his cheeks like tear streaks, and shoulder length black locks. Ichigo knows these in particular, as they were the ones that gave his father the most trouble… but there was one… one even his brother feared coming across even as anticipation welled in his golden eyes. Ichigo could never remember who it was, as Shiro never spoke his name, yet he remembers how Shiro would talk about him… Like he were nothing but a wild animal.

"Oi! You still with us?" Nnoitra asks carefully.

"… I'm gonna put the groceries away," Ichigo murmurs.

He's about to do just that, when the front door is flung wide open and almost smacks him in the shoulder. A woman that's all curves and mostly bust, long sea green hair curling about untamed and fury filling hazel orbs, glowers in the orangette's general direction. Even with his extensive training and thick determination, he shivers beneath her gaze… It's so like his mother's.

"Grimmjow Jaegerjaques!" she yells. "I am at the end of my rope! You help me move out of my apartment by tomorrow, or I'm gonna tear you limb from limb… starting with your favorite one."

Everyone is staring in complete shock at the new arrival, jaws hanging on open hinges as her words sink in. Ichigo carefully slips past the infuriated female and heads to the kitchen, wondering just who the heck she might be. His father told him of many Espada, yet he's never mentioned this one… not by appearance anyway. Before he sneaks all the way into the other room, a hand grips the back of his neck and he's yanked backwards into a large bosom.

"And what the hell is this?" the new female growls as she hugs Ichigo too tightly. "You've finally found a poor girl, down on her luck enough to let you corrupt her? Shame on you, Grimmy! I can't believe you would…"

"She's my maid," Grimmjow points out. "And she can take care of herself, trust me. Had Nnoitra begging to get away from her."

"… Oh! Well then… Good for you, honey!"

"Uh… who are you?"

"Don't mind her, Ichi," Grimmjow waves off. "She's just my older sister. Nelliel, let her go so she can put away the groceries."

Reluctantly, Nell leaves the orangette go and Ichigo bolts into the kitchen. It's official. Not only is his new boss crazy, but the entirety of his friends are completely nuts. With a heavy sigh, he leans against the counter and decides to just wait it out. After all, they have to leave sometime, right… right?

Well, apparently they didn't have to leave sometime. Ichigo ended up falling asleep in his room trying to wait them out, Grimmjow moving in to gaze at the orange haired beauty he can now call his own. He was going to ask if Ichigo could start work early and wait on them while they played poker and watched movies… but he looks so cute passed out on the bed. Quietly, the teal haired male shuts the door as he moves into the room.

"I know you said you wanted personal space," he murmurs. "But I've never been a personal space kind of guy. Besides, you don't want to sleep in those clothes, they're dirty."

Slyly, he runs his fingers through orange silk before deftly unbuttoning Ichigo's shirt. The smaller male whines in his sleep unhappily, yet doesn't wake and Grimmjow grins widely as he pulls the shirt off his maid without alerting him. He stops short in confusion after a minute, taking in the washboard abs and hard chest, before that grin multiplies in realization. With a soft snicker, he gently slides Ichigo's skirt off his hips and lets it drop to the floor. Strong hands run over soft thighs, marveling at how like a female this… apparently… male feels. His cyan pools stare at the lacy panties in a mixture of disbelief and lust, his fingers dragging those off as well. He can't deny the boy on the bed is hot, his perfect body well muscled and lithe and more feminine than should be legal for a guy. Carefully, Grimmjow slips a pair of boxers on the orangette, raising his hips and smothering the urge to do more than dress him. Afterward, he slips a large button up shirt on his maid. He has to lift Ichigo up to rest against his shoulder for this, the smaller male dead weight in his exhaustion, and Grimmjow can't help but breath in the scent of cinnamon and apples before licking along the shell of Ichigo's ear.

"Mm," Ichigo murmurs. "Not now, Kon."

*… Who the hell is Kon? * Grimmjow muses a tad jealous.

He shakes it off, laying the smaller male back onto his pillow and backing away to observe his handy work. With a feral grin, Grimmjow heads out of the room while humming to himself. He can't wait to see Ichigo's reaction when he wakes up, especially when he realizes he's wearing Grimmjow's clothes!

"What's with the grin?" Hallibel asks curiously.

"… Ichi's sleeping," Grimmjow says with a snicker.

"What did you do to that poor girl, Grimmjow?" Nell growls.

"That poor girl is a poor boy," he corrects. "He's a cross dresser."

He receives blank stares before the others comprehend what he's saying, their expressions all varying. Obviously, Nnoitra is showing his relief for not getting beat down by a girl. Gin is curious, he's only known a couple cross dressers in his life and none were quite like Ichigo. Nelliel and Hallibel don't really care what Ichigo is, his personality is enough like their's for them to accept him as a female.

"And you would know this… how?" Nell frowns angrily as Hallibel glares.

"… He fell asleep in his clothes!" Grimmjow attempts to say innocently. "I didn't want them getting wrinkly. I did a good thing!"


"Okay, so I took his clothes off and redressed him in my shirt and boxers," he huffs. "It won't kill him… but it'll shock the hell out of him! I can't wait until he wakes up!"

Nelliel and Hallibel immediately punch the muscular man, knocking him to the ground with a whine. The others laugh, yet one glare from the teal haired male has them stifling their snickers.

"Alright, get the hell out of here," he commands. "I need some sleep if I'm gonna survive a beating from an infuriated little cross dresser."

"Good luck with that," Nnoitra snorts. "Later, man."

He bids them all goodnight, waiting until the door closes behind his sister to grin like a fool. He raises onto his feet, sauntering over to Ichigo's room and debating whether he should chance moving the firecracker into his own bed. Deciding he'll get a good enough beating just undressing him, Grimmjow moves over to get ready for bed in the room across from Ichigo's.