So Dick is about 10 and Wally is 12 in this chapter. This story is meant to be several stand alone chapters, mostly about Dick and Bruce. Romance is a possibility, but not necessary or expected. Will let you guys know.

I don't own anything. Enjoy!

Bruce was not a morning person; at all.

A combination of late nights and low blood pressure often left the man needing several minutes (if not a full hour) to properly wake himself up.

Today it only took two.

It wasn't particularly uncommon for Bruce to wake up to the incredibly pleasant sound that was his young son's giggling. Unlike him, Dick was a morning person. How he managed to have remained such under his tutelage was beyond even Batman's deductive capabilities.

He was vaguely aware of, but too tired to deal with, the dip and then added pressure on the bed to his left as the young boy mounted the large expanse of cushion-y space that was his bed and crawled over to the center where Bruce lay. When his Robin crawled up on him to straddle his waist, he was half tempted to roll over, half to shake him off and half out of playfulness.

But the effort…

So Bruce lay still, trying to relish in the last few seconds of peacefulness that he had until the playful little bird accomplished whatever he had set out to do.

What actually woke Bruce up was the odd sensation of tiny warm hands delving under his nightshirt and pushing the cloth up slowly up his chest. Or rather, it was what happened next.

Bruce opened one eye slowly. "Dick, what are you doing?"

Bright blue eyes peered up at him innocently from where to boy had moved to half lay down over Bruce's legs, his chin resting just below his foster father's navel.

"I was going to give you a blow job."

Both of the man's eyes shot open wide and he stared down at his son with a look of terror even the likes of the Joker had never seen. "ALFRED!" He roared, picking Dick up from under the arms, holding him at arms length and nearly tossing him to the other side of the bed in his effort to scramble out of it and get to the door.

He reached it just in time for Alfred to open it, looking, to his credit, not at all like he'd just raced up a flight and a half of stairs. "Good morning, Master Bruce, Master Richard. May I ask what this commotion is about?"

Bruce swallowed thickly and opened his mouth, but was unable to voice the horrors of what had just befallen him. Blinking at the man slowly, Alfred turned his attention to the child, who looked like he'd just been slapped (by his favorite person, no less) but without the bruises.

"I just wanted to give him a blow job!" the boy said in exasperation, tears welling up in his eyes. He'd never ever seen an expression like that on Bruce's face, only on the faces of the more spineless criminals that had just had the living daylights scared out of them by Batman himself.

Once again, to his credit, Alfred managed to keep his expression locked in his normal calm smile. He was silent for a moment before a curious expression appeared on his face. He crossed the room, moving around the bed, and scooped to saddened bird into his arms. "May I ask why?" he said finally.

Dick clutched Alfred's chest tightly in his small hands, tearful eyes staring up at him imploringly. "Wally said that that was how guys liked to be woken up in the morning…as a special surprise." He rambled out through small sniffles.

And with those words, hell descended upon Gotham City. Children were called back into their homes; animals skittered into hiding, and even the toughest men suddenly felt the urge to wet their pants.

Or they would have, had they been aware of the events unfolding at the moment.

Bruce's eyes narrowed to slits and his face became a image of unbridled rage. "HE WHA-"

Fortunately for all involved, Bruce was cut off mid-rage by his very much still-in-charge butler. All it took was the horrified whimper from Dick and a incredibly sharp glare from the older gentleman to stop Bruce in his tracks; though, by his expression, he seemed to be planning a certain speedster's untimely death.

"Master Richard," Alfred said gently, using one hand to tilt the boy's head up from where Dick had buried it in his chest. "What exactly did Mr. West tell you to do?" he asked.

Dick blinked up at him slowly and his eyes shifted to look towards Bruce, only making it halfway before Alfred adjusted the boy's chin and tilted his own head to block Dick's vision. The boy wonder remained silent for a moment before finally saying, "He…he said that you were supposed to get on them and then blow really, really hard on their belly button." He whispered.

Alfred gave the boy a incredibly warm smile before looking over his shoulder at his very relieved master, who had a hand over his heart and leaning with his head against the doorframe in utter relief. Alfred chuckled softly and looked down at the child bundled in his arms.

"That, Master Richard, is actually referred to as a 'Raspberry.'" He said.

Dick blinked at him in confusion. "Then, what's a b-"

"Something neither of you are old enough to know about, let alone perform." Alfred said.

Dick let a soft "Oh," and raised his body slightly to look over Alfred's shoulder at his adoptive father. When Bruce met his gaze, the sight of that worried, uncertain…almost fearful look on his son's face – a look he hadn't had directed towards him since the day he took Dick in – it nearly broke his heart.

With a soft sigh, Bruce quickly made his way over to the two and gathered his son from his butler's arms and held him close. "I'm sorry. I never meant to scare you. …Nothing could ever make me hate you." He whispered into the boy's hair. "…You know that, right?" he asked, pulling back slightly to meet Dick's eyes.

A small shy smile appeared on the little bird's face, lighting up his features gently as he nodded. Dick quickly jerked up, wrapping his little arms around Bruce's neck and holding on as tightly as he could while burying his face in Bruce's neck, nearly throwing the man off balance.

"I know."


Barry Allen, also known as The Flash, grinned in amusement down at his sidekick, barely managing to hold in his laughter as the boy nearly tripped himself in rope tying up their latest criminal.


Barry blinked in surprise, but didn't flinch as Wally had, at the sudden appearance of the Dark Knight at his side. He'd dealt with it often enough. "Hey, Batman, what can I do for you?" he asked.

Batman paid the question no mind, instead turning towards Kid Flash. The man seemed to grow in the child's mind, as the full force of the Bat Glare was directed at him while the man loomed ominously over them. "You told Robin that men like to be woken up to blow jobs?" he growled.

Barry turned several shades of white under his mask. Batman was known to be incredibly protective of anything that he considered his. And more than anything else in the world, Robin was very much his.

Wally swallowed thickly, inching behind his mentor and having very little idea of why that was bad. "Y-y-y-y-yeah. I s-sawitonamagazine…a-….:" he rambled out squeakily.

Barry blinked, "You saw it on a magazine? Do you even know-"

"A Raspberry."

Barry looked at the man in confusion. Batman leaned back, Bat Glare off and no longer looming. "They thought it was a Raspberry." He stated dryly.

Barry laughed in utter relief. Wally, only slightly less terrified, looked up at his mentor. "Huh? Then what's a blow job?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Barry turned a bright red and scratched his cheek. He looked to Batman for help, but only received a blank stare in return. "Um…er…it's…it's a sex thing." He replied after a long silence.

Wally's eyes widened. "Oh. OH." His eyes shifted towards the Dark Knight to find him staring him right in the eye. Wally swallowed dryly as the bat smirked.

Batman took a step closer and leaned down slight. "Kid Flash, I trust that from now on,…" he said as his cloak shifted and he pulled something out of it. It was a well worn teddy bear. In fact, in was the secret well worn teddy bear that Wally swore up and down that he never slept with anymore…well, except when he's had a nightmare…or his dad's being a jerk…or he gets grounded; but only then, and hidden in his room at all other times. But…Batman had it. Batman had it…he's beeninmyroom!

"…You're going to be very careful about what you say around my Robin, correct?" Batman murmured, almost teasingly, the 'I know where you live' part clear in his voice.

Wally let out a choked sound and was gone.

Barry sighed softly, half annoyed and half amused. "You know he won't be able to go home tonight, right?"

Batman turned on his heel with a flourish of his cape. His head tilted slightly in what seemed to be his version of a shrug.

"Not my problem."

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