"Jack, this isn't funny."

There was soft laughter as Jack stepped around him to put his hands on his shoulders. "Oh, I don't know. I think it's pretty humorous."

Ianto glared at the man, wiggling on the bench in the vain hope that he'd be able to get his hands out of the cuffs Jack had so lovingly snapped around them. He knew it was fruitless, but that didn't stop him from trying. He couldn't just give in. Handcuffed to a bench with his waistcoat and shirt peeled open in the brisk Cardiff chill was not really his idea of fun.

Looking around for anything he could pick the lock with, Ianto noticed a strange light flickering through the trees. His brow furrowed and he opened his mouth to say something to Jack, but the other man was quicker.

"I think you're pretty damned hot, all trussed up like this, Ianto," Jack said, breathing the words into his ear.

"You didn't need to handcuff me to get me alone."

"No, but I needed to make sure you stayed. After all, Weevil hunting isn't the same when you're on your own."

"Oh, right. For some reason I'd forgotten that 'Weevil hunting with Ianto' is code for a romp in Bute Park." The lights came steadily closer and Ianto licked his lips. "Jack?"

"Hmm?" the man replied, his hands having slipped down Ianto's chest, his fingers flicking at Ianto's nipples.

"Jack, there's a car coming."

"Don't worry about it." Jack was now sliding his hand down over Ianto's groin.

Ianto felt his hips rise against the pressure of their own volition, and he bit back a groan at the spike of pleasure the touch sent through him. He should have known something would happen tonight. Jack seemed to have that particular gleam in his eye. The one that always meant Ianto was in for a wild night. How could he have ignored it?

"Seriously, Jack…"

The man was breathing hot air against his ear, making Ianto shiver, and two fingers continued to tweak at his nipple as the fingers near his crotch began to work at his belt and trousers. When cool air suddenly struck him Ianto gasped, the noise swallowed by the mouth that slammed down onto his.

Jack's hand slid under his exposed boxers, closing around his growing erection and beginning to stroke even as his tongue slid over Ianto's. The Welshman moaned at the assault, thrusting his hips upward into Jack's fist, while simultaneously twisting and squirming, his nipple on fire from Jack's ministrations.

He could feel Jack's trousers brushing against his hands and he smirked into the other man's mouth. His hands moved slowly, stroking against the hardness between Jack's legs and he felt the captain push into them, moaning against Ianto's lips.

Jack broke the kiss, removing both of his hands before hurrying around the bench to stand before Ianto. He unbuckled his belt, unzipped and unbuttoned his trousers, and let his cock spring free.

"Going commando?" Ianto asked, still a bit breathless.

"Oh yeah," said Jack, kicking Ianto's legs apart and stepping between them. "Your mouth, Ianto."

Ianto's eyebrow rose. "You want a blow job?"

"No, I want you to recite the phone book." Jack appeared to think for a moment. "Actually, that'd be pretty hot too, Welsh vowels and all, but right now…I want that mouth on my cock."

Ianto grinned. "My pleasure…sir."

With that he leaned forward to take the hard flesh in his mouth, straining against the cuffs and wishing he had his hands to use. His own erection was by now painful in his underwear, and he wanted nothing more than for Jack's hand to make its way back between his legs. Unfortunately both of the man's hands were in his hair, holding him in place as he thrust into Ianto's waiting mouth.

"Oh, that's good, Ianto," Jack told him, already starting to breath harder. "That mouth has so many talents."

Ianto rolled his tongue around the cock, pulling back slightly to suck at just the head, and then pushing back down until he'd taken the whole thing down his throat. He'd taught himself not to gag, having discovered that the reflex was less about physical control than it was about psychological control. He swallowed around the flesh, listening to Jack's grunts and whimpers as he drew back, allowing his teeth to graze the sensitive skin.

After several minutes Ianto was sure he had Jack on the edge, the thrusting of the captain's hips becoming erratic. He looked up to see the man's head thrown back, his breathing labored and noisy. Taking the cock back to the root he closed his eyes and hummed gently, feeling the moment it engorged further, thickening and throbbing in his mouth. A couple of seconds later and Jack was coming down his throat, coating his tongue with his essence.

"Alright, stop right there!"

Ianto's eyes shot open and he pulled off of his captain, licking his lips before sitting back. He watched Jack attempt to put away his now softening cock, but one of the policemen had stepped up behind him, grabbing his arms, and Jack just looked into Ianto's eyes. There was a smirk on his face and Ianto found himself blushing furiously.

There he was, handcuffed to a bench in the park just after midnight, clothes open and askew, erection still prominent, and he'd just sucked off his lover. God only knew how much the two men had seen.

"Lewd behavior in public," one of the men said. He was standing on Ianto's left side, eyes drifting from face to face. "Well that's one for the books."

"Oh come on," Jack replied, struggling to get his arms back from the man behind him. "You've never seen two people going at it in the park before?"

"Oh, sure," the man answered, putting a boot up on the bench at Ianto's side, "but never such famous ones. Wait until we get you back to the department."

"What?" Ianto asked, pulling anew against his restraints. "You can't do that."

"You obviously know who we are," added Jack.

"Of course we do," the man behind Jack said, releasing one of his arms. "Now put yourself away, Harkness. Unless you want to be booked looking like that."

"Then you know we have authority far above yours," Jack growled, hurriedly tucking himself away and managing to zip up his trousers. The button and his belt were out of the question, one handed.

"Not tonight, you don't," the man replied, fixing Jack's arms behind him again and putting on handcuffs. "Get Mr. Jones here off that bench and then restrain him properly as well."

Ianto groaned, bringing his hands to his face for a moment after he was released and then fastening his own trousers and belt. But before he could do up his shirt and waistcoat his arms were brought behind him. New cuffs were snapped around his wrists and he was pulled to a stand.

"Aren't you going to at least let me fasten my trousers?" Jack asked. "And his shirt?"

"No time for that," the constable advised, turning the captain and pulling him beside him. The other man yanked Ianto along behind them. "Paperwork to do. You're going to spend the night at the department. We have a lovely cell just perfect for the two of you."

Ianto shot a glare at Jack. This was all his fault. Sure, he'd not really fought the captain, deciding instead to play along, but he'd actually gotten them arrested. Lewd behavior in public. Fantastic. The rest of the team was going to have a field day with that one.

Many hours later, which, to Ianto, felt like days, they sat inside the tiny jail cell, waiting for a constable to get the keys to unlock the door. On the other side of the bars Owen was stood, smirking that ridiculous smirk of his, and shaking his head.

"What took you so long?" snapped Jack, getting to his feet and grabbing at the bars until his knuckles went white. "You know I can't stand tight spaces."

Owen's eyebrow rose. "You do just fine in that little hidey-hole of yours, Captain."

Jack growled. "This is different."

"Seriously, Owen," Ianto interrupted, coming to stand beside Jack. "We called you hours ago. Why are you just getting here now?"

"I was with a bird."

"What!"

"You heard me, Jack," Owen said, folding his arms across his chest. "I had a date."

Ianto sighed, feeling Jack tense up even more beside him. "You couldn't come bail us out because you were on the pull?"

"Yep."

"I swear to God, Owen, when I get out of here…"

Jack's rant was cut off by the return of the constable, jiggling a set of keys. "Alright you lot," he told them, opening and sliding back the door, "out you go. And don't let us catch you conducting such behavior again."

"Yeah…right," mumbled Jack, closing his hand around Ianto's bicep and tugging him through the door with him.

Once they were outside and into Owen's car, Jack began ranting again. "I can't believe you left us in there! I should dock your pay!"

Owen was driving them back to the park to pick up the SUV, and he shook his head. "You can't dock my pay. I wouldn't even normally be at work this early." Jack was still glowering at him. "Look, Jack, it's not my fault you and the Tea Boy decided that you needed a naked romp through Bute Park to satisfy your needs. I believe you've a very practical, albeit small, bed back at the Hub."

"It was a birthday surprise, alright?"

"Birthday?" Ianto's eyes widened and his mind began to flick through a mental calendar. Holy shit. "It's my birthday!"

Owen scowled at him in the rear view mirror. "Of course it is. What, did you forget?"

"Actually, yes."

Jack turned until he could see Ianto in the back seat. "Seriously?"

"Yes, Jack. Yes, I forgot it was my birthday today, alright?" He harrumphed, pouting as he thought about it. "And what kind of a birthday surprise is it to have sex in the park? We do that all the time. Of course, not with the handcuffs…"

"Yeah, but I bought us a new kind of lube. It reacts to the cold, heating up on its own, and it's edible."

"Edible? Well, that's different. What flavor?"

"Oi! I'm still here, you prats!"

"Peppermint."

Ianto couldn't help but smile at Jack. "I love peppermint," he said, voice low.

"I know you do."

There was a groan from the driver's seat and then the car came to a sudden halt. "That's it. We're here. OUT!"

Jack and Ianto hurried out of the vehicle, laughing at the look on Owen's face. As soon as the doors were shut the car sped off, and Ianto smirked, heading over to the SUV.

"Do you think he's learned his lesson?" he asked Jack.

"What, about not letting us sit in a Welsh prison for seven hours? I highly doubt it."

"It wasn't prison, Jack."

"Jail…detention…I don't care what it's called, Ianto. I never want to do that again."

They climbed into the vehicle and Ianto leaned over the seat toward Jack, placing his hand on his thigh. "For what it's worth, I appreciate your intentions." He pressed a kiss to the corner of Jack's mouth. "And I'd still like to try out that new flavored lube."

Jack's eyebrow arched and he turned his head. "Really? We'd have to use it somewhere cold. You know, for the full effect of the heating element."

Ianto slipped his hand to Jack's crotch, feeling the other man's renewed interest. "I think I could stand to turn the temperature down in my flat a bit."

Jack jammed the keys into the ignition, bringing the engine to life. He put the SUV into gear and tore away from the curb. Ianto sat back and buckled his seatbelt, looking forward to the rest of his birthday.

It was good the rift predictor hadn't indicated anything major that day. He figured it would be a while before they got back to the Hub.