Disclaimer: I don't own HP or the quote.

An: This is for "The Beginning of the End" on HPFC.

My quote: 'One bird said to Billy Pilgrim, "Poo-tee-weet?"' - Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut

"One bird said to James Potter 'Poo-tee-weet'?" Sirius laughed uproariously. The poor girl he had cornered at the bar laughed anxiously, looking around to get away.

"He's kind of pitiful when he's drunk." Lily Evans commented.

"No kidding," James Potter said, pulling his girlfriend of five months closer. "Especially since that was an owl that he sent me."

"He sent you an owl that said 'Poo-tee-weet'?" Lily asked. She scrunched up her face in confusion.

"And the next week he screamed it over and over in to a Howler." Nodded James.

"He's weird, Prongs," Lily stated.

"No kidding, Lily Flower."

She whacked his arm. "I told you not to call me that!"

"Oh, you secretly love it."

"I do not!" Lily protested.

"Yes you do, Luv."

"Prongsieee!" Sirius called.

"Run!" James whispered into Lily's ear. They sprinted away from the drunk boy, who Remus Lupin was trying to contain.


The two collapsed, exhausted into the meadow the Potter family and Sirius used as a Quidditch field.

"Marry me," James huffed out.

"Of course." Lily replied, rolling over towards him to steal a kiss.

"I love you, Lils."

"I love you too, James."


"Poo-tee-weet? Poo-tee-weet? Polly wanna' cracker? Poo-tee-weet?" Sirius stumbled around.

"Why'd we decide to come back again?" James whispered to Lily.

"It was freezing out there." She replied, shivering again.

His hot breath touched her neck.

"We could have had-"

"James!" Lily laughed.

"It would have kept us warm!" he defended.

"What would have kept you warm?" Remus asked. He was trying to keep Sirius from kissing him.

"Nothing!" James and Lily chorused.


"Sirius being drunk is starting to get old," Lily sighed. She put her head on her hand. "When can we go to bed?"

"Right now, if you want to." James replied.

"Sounds good." Yawned Lily.

"You're leaving me here with the Serial Kisser?" Remus complained.

"Ye-AH!" Lily shrieked when Sirius, a.k.a. The Serial Kisser's, lips came down on hers.

James stood and punched Sirius.

"James, it's okay." Lily defended. "He's drunk! He doesn't know what he's doing!"

"Oh, so you're defending him now?" James asked icily. "I'm going to bed."

"Wh- what did I do wrong?" Lily asked Remus.

Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair, much like James often did.

"Sirius has thing… game," he explained. "He tries to steal James' girlfriends. I think that James was afraid that Padfoot would try to steal you, too."

"Would he?" Lily asked softly.

"Never." Remus replied. "James loves you. That's more than he can say for all of his other girlfriends. Besides, James will probably marry you. If he can, that is."

"He asked me… earlier." Lily admitted. "I said yes."

She hopped over the comatose Sirius and left Remus staring after her.


"James?" Lily asked softly as she entered his room. Light snores met her.

She changed silently, and climbed into James' bed. It was the first time they had slept together, even if there was nothing dirty about it, and she was a bit wary about how he would take it. After all, they were fighting.

As soon as she climbed into the bed, James rolled over and began to use her as a teddy bear. She smiled. He couldn't possibly hate her, right?


James awoke to feel another body in his bed. One that he was using as a teddy bear.

"If Sirius crawled in bed with me, I swear-" It was then at he realized the body had, er, curves.

"Lily?" he asked in disbelief. The figure moaned and burrowed closer to him.

Maybe poo-tee-weet wasn't so bad…