Hello, everyone, and welcome to (finally!) my first Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic! Now, this came about because of the 333 ways to get kicked out of Walmart (I'm using Target in this story, because I haven't been to Walmart enough times to form a clear picture.). And I realized: Marik and Bakura should have a go at this! I'm using the Abridged counterparts for this story. And I will also give permission for LK/CardGamesFTW to do a dramatic reading.
Yu-Gi-Oh is owned by Kazuki Takahashi. Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged is owned by Little Kuriboh.
Bakura looked up from his book, and turned towards Marik's general vicinity. "Marik, what did you do now?"
Marik grabbed a list out of the printer, and waved it in Bakura's face. "THIS, Bakura, is what we're going to do!"
Bakura snatched the list, and read the title. "333 ways to get kicked out of Target... Marik, are you bloody kidding me?" Marik shook his head. "Then, pray tell, what will this accomplish?"
Marik jumped onto the couch next to Bakura. "Don't you see, Bakura? With this list, we will be able to embarrass the Pharoah as many times as possible! Then, he will surrender to us, and he'll have to admit defeat!"
Bakura started, "So, you mean..."
"YES, Bakura," Marik diabolically proclaimed, "We will finally defeat Yugi Moto, once and for all!" He then glanced at the list. "Now, let's see. Number 1: Take someone's shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to them's cart. Sounds easy..."
Bakura sighed. This was going to be embarrassing. Very, very embarrassing.
The Marikmobile pulled up to the nearby Target, swerving around, and nearly hitting several cars. Bakura and Marik stepped out, and walked into the entrance of Target. Bakura then pulled out a notepad, where he had written all of the 333 ways down. "Now, all we have to do is find the Pharoah," Marik proudly announced.
Luckily, that wasn't so hard at all. Yami was in the Men's Clothing Aisle, shopping for a new pair of leather pants. The nearest cart was, coincidentally, Mai Valentine's. Bakura took one look in the cart, and saw that Mai had bought a ton of miniskirts.
"PERFECT! Now, let the switching begin! Bakura, hand me a miniskirt," Marik yelled. The British villain sighed, and handed a miniskirt to Marik, who had soon returned with a pair of the Pharoah's leather pants. The process continued, until all of the Pharoah's pants were replaced with miniskirts.
Bakura crossed off the first item, and then read, "Number 2: Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment. Well, that's going to be pretty hard, considering we know most of the characters in this show. I'll find someone to do this on. Marik, I think you should take the Pharoah."
Marik then casually walked up to Yami, leaned against a clothing mannequin, and cried, "HEY! I know you!"
Yami turned to Marik, and bluntly stated, "Wait a moment, aren't you either the villain of Season 2 or that backround character?"
Marik pretended to jump back in suprise. "You mean you DON'T remember me? I was your girlfriend in high school! We used to go out all of the time!"
Yami crossed his arms. "You're clearly delusional. I'm afraid there's only one way to fix that."
Uh oh. Marik knew exactly what came next. "Wait, no -"
Marik woke up to see Bakura standing over him. "You got Mind Crushed, didn't you."
All that the Egyptian could do was nod. Bakura then crossed off the second item, and read, "Number 3: Smash the person in front of you on the head with a ham. Marik, do you have a ham?"
After being helped up, Marik suddenly pulled a ham out of Hammerspace. As he would have said, it's funny because the first three letters spell ham! Bakura then analyzed the ham. "This will do the trick," he approved, "Now, to find the perfect victim."
After scouring the whole store for the perfect victim, Bakura was finally able to spot Tristan. "Now, Marik," he instructed, shoving the ham into Marik, "Go smash Tristan in the head with this ham. I never thought I would actually say that one day."
Due to being Mind Crushed by Yami a few paragraphs back, Marik shuffled over to Tristan, and then started wacking him with a ham. Bakura smirked, and then crossed off the third item. Now, they were going to leave. Marik needed to recover from being Mind Crushed.
So, 3 down, 330 to go! Expect Melvin to appear at one point. :D