Hello my faithful readers, I am back with a vengeance my friends! There are a couple of orders of business, first of all, congratulations to Susake Uchiha (no, that's not a typo), and to XerxesDariusNemoc for guessing two of the challenges. The second challenge, which is the one about the famous Led Zeppelin song in A minor, is still open, so start guessing people.

Also, I am issuing a warning. The following chapter is extremely cliché in the fact that Bellatrix and Narcissa were forced into marriage, blah blah blah, they were abused, blah blah blah. Thing is, it's the easiest way to incorporate them into the story. Hopefully, there may be a few twists coming that no one has seen, but I'm not making any promises. So fuck it, I'm not going to care. On with the chapter.

Chapter 4: Black Dog… And his Family

Bellatrix Lestrange woke up slowly. As soon as she opened her eyes, she noticed three things. First, it was FUCKING BRIGHT! Second, she wasn't in her husband's manor, and three, she had a headache so large it felt like a rabid raccoon was slowly crawling out of her cranium.

After her eyes got adjusted to the bright light coming out of a large window right next to her bed, she examined her surroundings. She was in a very soft bed, the room she was in was rather small, but cozy, with light green walls and brown carpet. Her clothes were folded on a desk in one corner, and she was wearing a light sleeping robe.

"Glad you're awake. I thought you would be asleep for a week after I fucking made a fool of you, your husband, and all of your comrades." She turned to the source of the voice, and was startled to see a boy, maybe about 10 years old. He had dark black hair, and startlingly bright green eyes, with a build slightly like a puma. "However, I can't really blame you. Your technique sucked, and I'm just too amazingly awesome to be taken down by a few pussies in black robes.?

Bellatrix blushed at the direct insult to her skills, Not like she gave a fuck about anyone else except her sister, but she was a little fuzzy on the details of the last… like 20 years.

"Who the hell are you, boy? Where am I, and what do you want with me?" Her questions covered a thinly disguised threat. However, the boy just laughed.

"Wow, Bella, I am hurt. I spend three days rebuilding your mind so you don't end up a slobbering mess that makes the Longbottoms look like the royal family. However, since I'm such a nice person, I'll answer you." He took a deep breath. "My name is Harry James Potter Page." At her gasp of disbelief, he rolled his eyes and showed her his scar. "Happy now?" At Bellatrix's shocked nod, he continued.

"You are at my house, in Surrey, England. And I want you, Bellatrix, to be my loyal follower, teacher, and quite possibly my second-in-command."

Bellatrix snorted. "How do you know you want me. I don't even know you, and I'm pretty sure you don't know me."

"On the contrary, Bella dear, I know everything about you. Tell me, do you remember anything from the last time you were conscious?" Harry asked.

Bellatrix scrunched her face in concentration. She's actually pretty cute, thought Harry. She finally said, "I remember Lucius ordering me and a few other Death Eaters to attack you. Something about you being defenseless. But apparently you had backup, or else I wouldn't be here."

Harry laughed. He laughed hard. "Backup! Backup! You didn't even listen to me. I fucking took all of you out, all by myself!" At her stunned disbelief, he said, "That's right bitch, I took out your husband, your brother-in-law, and all of your comrades out, the supposed elite of Lord Voldemort, completely by myself. Suck on that Dumbledore!"

Bellatrix suddenly stood up. "Did you kill my sister, you bastard. I don't care about any of those other assholes, but if you hurt my sister, I swear I will rip your balls off and choke you with them!"

Harry laughed again. "I think I like you, Bella. No, I didn't kill your sister, she's just taking a while to wake up."

Bellatrix visibly relaxed, and asked, "Why is everything so fuzzy? The last thing that I remember is…"

"Twenty years ago, right before you were raped by your husband, his brother, and Lucius?"

Bellatrix gasped again, but thought that she shouldn't be surprised by now. After all, he apparently knows everything about me, she thought.

Harry continued. "You were placed under several imperious curses, and subjected to mind weakening curses as well, for almost twenty years. When you and your former comrades attacked me, I used legilimency and saw that you were being controlled against your will. I shot a mind-destruction curse at you and your sister, which destroyed Lucius's influence. Unfortunately, it destroyed some of your memories, so I had to spend a few days picking up the pieces, so to speak. So I know everything about your life, and I have to say, your life has fucking sucked."

It was true. Though Harry was a lot younger than Bellatrix, his abuse wasn't nearly as bad as hers. At least he didn't have to be raped almost every day. "Anyway, I used your memories to see what you looked like before you were enslaved, and I created a potion that restored you to your former beauty."

This part wasn't true. Though Harry was a natural at potions, he had actually used his growing grasp of soul magic to manipulate her body's hormones, thus giving her a younger looking body. Bellatrix didn't know this, and looked into the mirror.

She gasped yet again in amazement. Looking back at her was a beautiful black haired woman with deep chocolate brown eyes, and a beautiful body. It looks exactly like me when I was just out of Hogwarts, she thought. She looked at the young boy standing next to her, and pulled him into a strong hug.

"Thank you, Harry Potter. Thank you for giving me my life back."

Jesus fucking Christ. Do you ever stop? Manipulation is like crack to you, isn't it. You can't get enough of it.

'Ahh, Kangetsu, it is pretty addicting, but it does help my plans for world domination. One does need followers for such a large undertaking.'

Harry felt Kangetsu sigh in agreement. Harry was quickly turning the sword to his way of thinking. In fact, he hadn't had to threaten the being in almost a month.

Yeah, you are right about most stuff anyway, and you do know how to have fun…

'That's right. I'm a fucking badass, don't ever forget it.'

Back in reality, Bellatrix had finally let go of Harry. She still had a few questions. "So why do you need me to teach you? You seem to know just about everything. And why is your last name Page? And when can I see my sister."

Harry sighed. He thought they had gotten past the questions. "Ugh… My last name is Page because of my adoptive father. I need you to teach me because, believe it or not, none of the ancient Black family spells were in my vaults. Who would have guessed? And you can see your sister when she wakes up. Anyway, not like I don't appreciate the view, but you might want to get some clothes on."

Bellatrix was confused, but looked down. Her nightgown was barely covering her… area. She blushed and jumped back in bed.

Harry chuckled. "Breakfast is in about an hour, so if you're hungry, come eat. I'm not going to be a fucking maid and bring you breakfast in bed."


The next day saw Harry, Mr. Page, Tonks, and Bellatrix walking through Diagon Alley. Sirius was watching Narcissa, who was still asleep, and Bellatrix was disguised as a Weasley. Something she wasn't really proud about.

"Did you really have to make me a Weasley? A Weasley? Fuck you Potter… Page, whatever."

Harry chuckled and said, "Well you need clothes and shit, don't you? Anyway, there are so many fucking Weasleys that it's not suspicious to see one and not know who it is, so that's why I made you a Weasley."

Tonks, who had been glaring daggers at Bellatrix since she had first woken up, said, "You know if you don't like it, you can just leave, bitch." She was not going to let some beautiful witch come and steal her Harry, especially when that witch was her fucking aunt.

Bellatrix glared at her niece, but didn't say anything. Mr. Page didn't have any qualms about speaking, though, and said, "Harry, son. I am not sure whether to be jealous, or be grateful that I don't have to deal with your shit."

Harry, who was not oblivious to the catfight that was just waiting to happen, replied amusedly, "I can't wait until I am old enough to take advantage of this… situation."

As the father and son laughed, the two girls continued to glare at each other. Harry settled down and said, "Why don't you girls go shopping for clothes, makeup, dildos, whatever the fuck you need, and Dad can go to the music store again. I need to go get some potions ingredients." Harry gave his group some money, and left, leaving two girls with huge blushes, and a middle aged man who looked constipated he was laughing so hard.


Severus Snape definitely had had better days. Fuck that, he thought, the day had been downright shitty. So shitty that it made a five foot pile of dragon manure look like a tiny mouse turd. He had been seriously considering leaving Hogwarts and its downright insane headmaster behind and seeking new employment. Unfortunately, Dumbledore had made it quite clear that if Snape was going to leave, he would be immediately arrested for crimes of being a Death Eater.

What made matters worse is that he had to go into the apothecary to pick up ingredients for some anti-pregnancy potions that Dumbledore demanded. Severus really did not want to have any images as to why the wrinkled man actually needed the potions, but he had to do it.

What made the day absolutely shitty, however, is that he was pretty sure Harry Potter was in the apothecary as well. He was conflicted on the subject of the son of his nemesis. On one hand, he was the son of the man who made his life an absolute hell for seven years and the woman that betrayed his love. On the other, however, this child was extremely powerful and Severus was contemplating going to him to become a follower.

Screw the fact that the child was only ten years old, anyone able to take down twenty full grown wizards all by their lonesome was worthy of Severus's respect. Before he could make the decision to approach the young boy or not, fate decided to make his choice a little easier.

Potter approached him and said, "Severus Snape. I can't really say it's an honor to finally meet you, but I need to talk to you."

Snape's mind was racing. Shit, what does this boy want? I don't think I can fight him off if he decides to attack me. He decided to play it cool, and said, "Mr. Potter, or is it Mr. Page now? No matter, I have heard of your… adventure in America and I have to say that I am impressed." Snape decided flattery was the best option right now.

Harry just looked at the greasy-haired man, not saying anything. Snape started to get nervous and was about to say something, before he felt a pressure in his mind so light that a man any less trained in occlumency would have missed it.

Severus immediately threw up his considerable mental shields, and the presence withdrew. Harry smirked, and said, "Good. I knew you were adept at the mind magics, but I needed to know if you could keep this secret." Harry released his shroud and wrapped up Severus, and apparated them both to an empty room in the Leaky Cauldron.

Snape was truly scared shitless at this point. He had only felt the boy's magic for a couple of seconds but it felt more powerful than anything he'd ever felt before. Not even an angry Voldemort could compare to the raw power that the boy exhibited.

Harry grinned at the fear that he saw in the man's eyes, relishing the effect that his power had on people. "Don't worry, Severus. I am not here to harm you; in fact, I am here to help you."

Severus calmed down a little. After all, he hadn't done anything to piss this boy off, so he was reasonably safe. "What do you mean?"

Harry laughed and said, "You seem to be very adept at being a spy, and I happen to need one. You spy on Dumbledore, give loyalty to me and only me, and I will reward you. Simple as that."

Snape narrowed his eyes, untrusting. "That's it. You don't demand some sort of sacrifice? No blood oath?"

Harry just looked at him. "I think that you have more than enough reasons to come to my side, and I will reward you with immunity from Wizengamot, protection from Voldemort, and any potion ingredients that you will ever need." Harry paused, waiting for the older man to comprehend the generous offer that he was being offered, then continued. "All I need you to do is spy on the old goat, and tell me everything that he is planning. Especially that Order of his, who knows what kind of shit he can do with enough manpower."

Severus thought about it… for about three seconds. "You, Mr. Potter, have a deal."

Harry smiled. "My name his Page. Harry Page."

Nice fucking James Bond impression. You are so original, you know that.

'I will turn you into a rubber glove and use you for Steven Hawking's prostate exam.'

Shit… That one must have taken a lot of thought.

'You have no idea.'


6 Months Later…

"Catena Fulmen!" A bright bolt of lightning shot out of one of Harry's wands, connecting with a combat dummy. After hitting it, it jumped to the next dummy, continuing until all ten dummies were destroyed.

"Chain lightning is a success. Shit, I fucking love my elemental powers." Harry walked out of the gym, his Nundu cub following him.

The white Nundu had grown to over two feet in height, and 5 feet in length, and wasn't even close to full grown. He had learned a few simple words; enough to make up his name, Kashmir. The cub followed Harry virtually everywhere he went, and Harry had learned to enjoy his presence and occasional comment. However, Harry was about to go on his morning run, and Muggles didn't appreciate seeing a giant cat running after a child. Something about the cat's teeth being large enough to rip his arm off, but hey, everything was a matter of perspective.

After Narcissa had woken up, Harry enlisted in Bellatrix's help to explain the situation. It was a lot less work on his part, and both sisters ended up trusting him even more, which is always a bonus for followers.

He had grown another two inches, putting him at five foot four, a very respectable height for a ten year old. He would be attending Hogwarts along with Tonks in about six months, and he planned to spend that time learning everything he could before his education was stunted.

Bellatrix and Narcissa had been teaching him Necromancy, something that the Blacks were infamous for. Harry was extremely frustrated on that aspect; it was the only subject he couldn't pick up quickly. He still hadn't spoken to any dead souls, and his dream of summoning a demon was still years away. The Black sisters, however, were shocked by his progress. It took most people decades just to get to the level Harry hoped to achieve, and Harry was well on his way to being a master within five years.

The sisters had been upset that their sister Andromeda was killed, and her death still remained a mystery. Harry didn't know if Dumbledore had done it, or if it was just a random murder. Tonks wasn't very sorry that her parents were dead, apparently they had been negligent parents anyway, and didn't care for their daughter anyway.

As Harry ran by an alley that was on his ten mile route, he was stopped by a petty thief holding, who said rather unoriginally, "Stop and empty your pockets, and no one gets hurt."

Harry rolled his eyes and got into a stance with his hands slightly in front of him, one foot in front of the other. The thief attacked with his knife, and Harry knocked the arm away, and responded with a flurry of punches, culminating with a kick that sent the man back ten feet.

Harry had been learning a rather unappreciated Chinese martial arts form called Wing Chun, an extremely fast style that relied on defense and counters as opposed to brutal strength. This was the only martial art form that Harry had taken to, and was being trained by a Chinese grandmaster named Donnie Yen.

Tonks had also tried to learn the forms, but she lacked the physical strength to block more than a few punches. She had increased in leaps and bounds magically, however. Though she couldn't hold a candle to Harry, she was pretty impressive for a nine year old girl. She specialized in borderline dark spells that caused enough pain to severely incapacitate an opponent, but not kill them.

She had a small rivalry with her two aunts, as all three were vying for Harry's affections. All of their attempts were noticed by the boy, who along with his father found their efforts extremely amusing..

Mr. Page was doing pretty much the same, he still couldn't figure out the instrument that he found in Harry's vault, and gave up, leaving it to Harry to figure out. Harry had taken it to the music shop Mr. Page always went to, but they had no idea what it was, so Harry just kept it as a side project.

As he finished his run, Tonks met him at the door. "You've gotten really fast. You just ran ten miles in less than an hour and a half."

"You know me; I'm fucking awesome at everything." He eyed her body mischievously. Tonks was very cute, and though nothing compared to her amazingly hot aunts, she would probably be way prettier once she developed. "Let's go inside, I'm hungry."

Sirius was inside waiting for him. The man had forgiven his cousins, and had even started teaching them along with Harry the animagus transformation. Bellatrix and Narcissa hadn't found their forms, and Harry already knew that he was a Siberian Frost Dragon, the rarest dragon in existence, as they were highly poached for their indestructible hide. Harry was a bit disappointed in his form, because it wasn't very powerful, but decided that it didn't matter, as he was powerful enough without his animagus.

Sirius greeted him, "Hey Harry. When you gonna fuck my cousins?"

The three female Blacks blushed, but Harry just laughed. "In a couple of years, I'll record it for you."

The older man blushed, as he thought of that image, which of course made Harry laugh harder.


"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!" An old man with a long white beard and spectacles was pacing around his office yet again. He had just learned from McGonagall that Harry Potter hadn't shown up on the Hogwarts registration list. "How am I supposed to make the boy my pawn if I don't have access to him? I NEEEEED TO MANIPULATE THAT BOY!"

It had gotten to the point that the boy was like crack to the aging headmaster, and without him Dumbledore was going through major withdrawals. His left eye began twitching and he mumbled to himself quietly and incoherently. Of course, he didn't think to look for any last name other than Potter, otherwise he would have seen a Harry Page right where Harry Potter should have been.

Miles away in Nurmengard, Gellert Grindewald fought a sudden urge to face palm.


Harry's forehead was knotted with concentration. He drew as circle of runes with a piece of chalk and infused his magic with it. This was by far the most potent ritual he had ever done, and if he failed, he would probably blow up half of England. Even if he succeeded, he would be drained for weeks, unable to move a muscle. At least, that was the theory. Only one other person had ever performed this ritual in the history of the world, and that was Salazar Slytherin.

The rewards were well worth the risk. Everything that was important- magical reserves, his senses, his stamina, everything would be increased by at least 300%. The reason it was so dangerous was that he would have to pour out every ounce of magical power in his body in order for it to work, and Harry had a lot of reserves.

He was basically going to try to control enough magic to make a hundred nuclear bombs look like a little sparkler. He finished the runes and started meditating, clearing his mind of absolutely everything, until he found his core.

He dispersed it throughout his body, just as Slytherin's notes instructed, and concentrated. Forcing his eyes open, which were glowing with power, he released everything he had in one forceful push.


Lieutenant Colonel Jason Birdsey was in the Royal Air Force, but he was stuck with radar duty. Basically, he was the look out, in case any terrorists decided to blow something up. He was, err, busy jacking off to some internet porn when something caught his attention. The radar screen went out, as did every electrical device in the room (except his battery powered laptop) until the backup generators kicked in.

Almost immediately his superior, General John Rutherford burst in the room, catching his watchman in a very compromising position. His question died on his lips as he glared at the Lieutenant Colonel with a disgusted expression.

"Do I even need to say anything?" asked the general, shouting over the moans and groans of the couple on the computer.

"No sir. I'll leave with a dishonorable discharge, sir."


Civilians from all over Europe and North Africa suddenly stopped as a flash of green light spread across the sky. In London, all of the cars stopped in the street as a beam of emerald light shot into the sky.

One particularly religiously devout woman shouted, "IT'S THE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST! WE'RE ALL SAVED!"

Cheers went up all over the city as the word spread. The next day, newspapers all over the world had the same headlines: MESSIAH HAS COME! SATAN HAS BEEN VANQUISHED! All Asian people in the world shook their heads at the stupidity of the white man.


Harry, on the other hand, was a little preoccupied to realize the effects of his ritual. "GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, IT HURTS LIKE HELLLLL!" Harry was writhing on the floor, screaming his ass off. The journals had said it would be painful, but Harry was totally unprepared for the reality. Even his impressive pain tolerance was swept aside like a stick in a raging flood.

He had a long few weeks ahead of him.


Yeah, I know, short chapter. This was basically a filler, because next chapter he'll go to Hogwarts. I'm torn between making Harry a total badass from the beginning of Hogwarts, or to play it subtle so he can totally scare the shit out of everyone when he comes out of his shell. Just imagine the looks on everybody's faces when he goes from a kid struggling with a levitation charm to being more powerful than everyone in the world.

However, I don't feel like writing a weak Harry, so there's my dilemma. Anyway, Susake chose Daphne to be in the harem, so I'm going to make a new poll, so everybody who voted, get ready to vote again.

Alright, that's it. Sorry the chapter was slow, but I hope I added enough humor at the end to satisfy your greedy little reader minds. No flames, constructive criticism, blah blah blah.

Oh yeah, I forgot to say that I don't own Harry Potter and all that shit. The only thing is, I do own Harry Potter. That's right, I'm J.K. Rowling, and nobody else can prove that I'm not, so suck on it. I'm out.