Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns Snape and the others. I just, unfortunately, torture them.
A/N: Sort of a sad fic, but enjoy.
I watch him from afar as he sits in the library across from Evans. He seems agitated by something she's saying. Though, she seems not to notice this, smiling as she rattles on about something. I reach for a book on the shelf, my eyes still glued on them as they talk quietly. Of course, however, my carelessness causes a book on the far end to fall off the shelf and slam against the floor. Smooth, Aura, real smooth, I grumble in my head.
I quickly bend down, grabbing it and sighing. When I stand back up, I notice that they're both gone. I frown, placing the stupid book back before walking out of the library to head to the Slytherin common room. I've been trying to speak to him for about a week now to see what his plans are for the break. However, I've failed every single time because he's always around Evans, who doesn't appreciate me hanging around him. One of these days I'm going to tell the witch that not every pureblood Slytherin wants to kill her. And when he's not around her, which is extremely rare, well, then he's in the boys' dorm, avoiding me the best he can.
"Stupid, so stupid!" a voice hisses from around the corner in front of me.
I immediately stop, recognizing that voice. I've been following him this entire time. I turn to head off in another direction, knowing that I'm the very last person he wants to see right now. I'll only frustrate him even more.
"I should've known she'd leave," he growls behind me before a loud bang echoes down the corridor. He then curses softly. "Stupid suit of armor," he grumbles a moment later.
Stopping once more, I turn and slowly approach the corner. I peak around it, just to see if he's all right I convince myself. Biting my lower lip, I watch him levitate the fallen suit of armor back into its place before walking off, the bottom of his robes billowing at the sudden movement.
The absolute last day before the holiday break is upon me before I know it. I still haven't asked him, but he's avoiding me even more now. Well, he's avoiding everyone pretty much now actually. It makes me wonder what Evans did to him now. Though, that probably is my jealousy speaking again.
My head instantly snaps towards Professor Slughorn, dropping the entire bicorn horn into my cauldron. I completely forgot I'm in Potions. My cauldron starts to hiss and bubble violently, and my eyes widen in horror. Oh, I am so screwed. In my panic, I grab anything I can get my hands on, hoping that something tossed in would counteract the bicorn.
"DON'T!" Slughorn yells, rushing towards me with a look akin to horror. But he's too late.
The moment the unknown ingredient drops into my cauldron, I find myself being yanked back by strong arms just before my cauldron explodes into a million little places. A resounding boom echoes around the room as there's a crackling from the wards at the display.
Whoever is holding me is breathing heavily, but I don't blame them. I nearly brought the castle down. I hear the person try and fail several times to speak before finally just mumbling 'Felix Felicis, Aurora' near my ear.
"Are you all right, sir?" states one of my classmates.
"Fine, fine, we're both fine, right, Miss Sinistra?" Professor Slughorn says, clearly still rattled.
I only swallow and slowly remove myself from him. I am so screwed. My legs are shaky as I stand. Then again, there is now a giant hole where my workstation was. Hell, there's not even a splinter of wood left.
"Well, class dismissed. Get to your common rooms." The Potions professor then sighs heavily. "Come with me, Miss Sinistra. You know the procedure."
I want to retort that after the hundredth time I could walk there in my sleep, but I think better on it. I follow him out of the room, sighing. I hate going to the Headmaster's office. It's not my fault—okay, it is. But I don't ever mean to nearly destroy the Potions classroom. It just happens.
"Skittles," my professor says, making the guardian statue slide aside and the phoenix figure start spiraling upwards. When Professor Slughorn opens the door, motioning for me to walk in, I sigh and head to my favorite chair.
"Horace," acknowledges Professor Dumbledore, looking up from his stack of papers. He looks over his half-moon spectacles at me before sighing. "Another Potions accident, Miss Sinistra?" he says, frowning.
"I asked you, sir, if we could just remove me from Potions, but you said no," I reply, crossing my arms sulkily.
He laughs softly, nodding. "That you did, Miss Sinistra. However, as I continue to tell you, Potions is a required course of study here until you take your OWLs."
"Professor Slughorn is likely going to throw a party once that happens," I grumble.
"Now, dear, you're not that—"
"I nearly destroyed the Potions classroom . . . again, sir! There isn't a table left this time." I watch his eyes glance up at Professor Slughorn as if to get confirmation on that.
"If you need someone to blow up a room, sir, I'm your witch," I drawl. "Hell, if there was a subject in that, I'd get an O in it."
"Now, Miss Sinistra, we all have subjects we're—"
"Sir, if you don't pull me out of Potions, someone is going to die." When he chuckles, I glare. "I'm not joking, sir. I'm going to end up killing someone one of these days."
"Perhaps a tutor is in order, Miss Sinistra."
"No one wants to work with me," I explain, wondering if my Head of House has lost his voice as he always does around this line of talk. "And if they do, they want all their limbs at the end of course, which disqualifies them." I glare at the headmaster when he stifles a laugh. "It isn't funny, sir."
"No. No you're right, Miss Sinistra." He quickly sobers up. "Your education is no laughing matter." His blue eyes then glance up at Slughorn. "Horace, do you have any students that you'd think would work well with her?"
"I'd suggest Severus, but I doubt he has the patience. Ms. Evans—"
I make a strangled sound instantly. Both sets of eyes dart to me, making me glance towards the floor. How do I explain this?
"Lily and I don't get along."
Should I tell the truth or Slytherin it up a bit? I sigh a moment later. Slytherin it up.
"She believes that I'm one of those Slytherins, sir, and she stu—mistakenly believes that I'm going to drag Severus to the dark side somehow."
"I see. What about Mr. Black?"
"Reg? I don't like him like that, but I doubt she even cares whom I like." At the look on Professor Dumbledore's face, I realize my mistake. "Oh. Um, I'll just shut it, sir." My eyes dart to the floor again, the oh so interesting floor.
"Unfortunately, Mr. Black is returning home for the holidays as well as Ms. Evans. Only Mr. Snape will remain here again."
My eyes narrow as I process this new information. That was why Severus was so upset the other day. Evans is going back home without him again. Honestly, would it have killed her to remain one Christmas with him?
"I trust you'll make the arrangements, Horace?"
"Of course, Headmaster," Professor Slughorn replies quietly.
"But I don't want to kill Severus," I shout, finally realizing what they're suggesting.
"Oh, dear, I doubt you'd kill him."
"You obviously haven't seen me brew, Professor," I retort. I then whirl around, glancing at Professor Slughorn. "Tell him. Tell him how I nearly killed everyone today, sir."
"Miss Sinistra, it will be all right."
"No it won't, sir," I argue, glancing back at the headmaster. "Please, sir, give me someone else. Not Severus. I don't want him to die." I say nothing when the twinkling blue eyes narrow on me. "Please, Headmaster."
"I'm afraid, Miss Sinistra, that you cannot change my mind."
"I'll do anything, sir. Please. Not Severus," I beg. "I don't want to be the reason he died."
However, they don't change their minds. I can't believe them. They've sentenced Severus to death now. I shake my head angrily. Why aren't they listening to me? Do they want me to kill him?
"May I go now, Headmaster?"
"Just a moment, Miss Sinistra," the headmaster says, glancing then at Professor Slughorn. "I'll send the accident report down to you later, Horace. Thank you."
I sigh when I hear Professor Slughorn leave. Great. Now it's just Professor Dumbledore and me. This should be interesting.
"Your mother owled me this morning, Miss Sinistra," he starts, giving me that familiar look. "I must admit that I was rather shocked to learn that you were staying here yet again."
"Well, I need help in Potions."
"Yes, I believe that has been your long standing excuse of avoiding your mother."
"I'm not avoiding her, sir," I reply bitingly. I glance down when he nods slowly. He's up to something again. When he chuckles, I look back at him.
"Ah, Miss Sinistra, I'm always up to something." He smiles softly. "Someone from the estates is here to—"
"I'm not going!" I state, standing with a fierce glare.
"My dear, please sit." He nods slowly when I do so. "He wishes to speak with you. That is all. In fact, I am under the impression that he's not here to sway you whatsoever."
"Excellent." He then glances towards the alcove, motioning for someone to step out.
My eyes widen when I see him. I glance towards the headmaster, only to find him gone. Damn sly old coot. I frown, shaking my head. This is just what I needed.
"Mistress Aurora," drawls the seemingly young dark haired man as he walks towards me. He inclines his head for a moment before crossing his arms. "Your mother wished to know the real reason you refuse to come home. Shall I inform her it is because of a young man, Mistress Aurora?"
"I don't appreciate you being inside my head, Declan."
"My apologies, Mistress," he says, bowing his head respectfully. "Perhaps if you weren't broadcasting your thoughts to me so loudly, I could do without learning your little secrets."
I huff, shaking my head. "Why are you here?"
"Has your hearing been somehow impaired, Mistress? I stated my reason."
"Fine. Then go tell Mother that I'm staying because I need to raise my grade for Potions."
"Ah, so you wish me to lie for you." He nods slowly, his dark eyes passing over me. The intensity in those brown eyes makes me tremble slightly. Walking towards me then, he places his hands on either side of my chair a moment later, preventing me from escaping. "And what is in it for me, Mistress Aurora?" Quirking his lips upwards in amusement, he reveals the very tips of his long canine teeth. "What I mean to ask is why should I lie for you?"
"If you don't, I'll tell my father . . ." I close my eyes when he leans in toward me with a mock hiss. I know he won't do anything. He can't or he'd be released. We both know this.
"Yes, Mistress . . . ? You'll tell your father what?" He brushes back my hair, still smirking. "Be the Slytherin you crave to be, Mistress."
"I hate you," I grumble, glaring at him as I realize what he's trying to do. "It won't work you know. I won't go back with you. No matter what you do. I'm staying here this year, and Mother can just go to hell."
He pulls back, sighing. "Well, it was worth a try, Mistress. You can't blame a bloke for trying, yes?" He takes several steps back from me, leaning against the desk. "So, is this young man worth it? The one you are remaining behind for?"
"Well, perhaps I should sniff him out then. See if he's worthy of your affections."
"Don't you dare, Declan!" I glare at him when he chuckles.
"So touchy, you are, Mistress Aurora. I promise not to bite him." He then seems to think better on it. "Well, not that much anyway. Though, I doubt he'd be my type anyway."
"You are such a git."
"Ah, yes, but you still adore me, Mistress." He then sighs. "I shall inform your mother that your Potions skills are positively abysmal and that you have been forced by your wretched Head of House to work with a horrid young man to improve these skills."
"I hope you're released."
He instantly places a hand over his non-beating heart before drawling, "Oh, Mistress Aurora, how you wound me." He then laughs softly at my glare. "Be safe with your young man, Mistress. But inform him that if he harms you, he shall deal with me . . . and my pointy teeth."
"Circe, I'm never going to get a boyfriend," I say, throwing my arms up in frustration.
"That's the spirit, Mistress." He then calmly blends into the shadows again.
I know he's likely gone, but I grab an object from the headmaster's desk and toss it hard at the last spot I saw him. I sigh when it clatters onto the floor. I hate him. I really do. I turn around and walk out of the office, sighing. He is such a git.
I walk into the Slytherin common room after dinner, stopping when I notice Severus sitting on the sofa with his Potions text in hand. I head over to him as calmly as I can manage. After all, I know that he's not going to like me pouncing on him.
"Hey," I quietly say, giving him a soft smile.
"Um, so, has Slughorn spoken to you yet?"
"No," he answers flatly, not looking up at me.
"Oh, good." Thank you, Circe.
"Why? What did you do now?"
"Nothing. Why? What'd you hear?" I can't help but panic when he finally looks at me. Those eyes, those beautiful, mysterious, dark, intense eyes that I love so much, staring back at me. I swear my heart leaps up into my throat. He only shakes his head before resuming his reading, though. "So, um, what are you reading?"
"How best to poison someone and cover your tracks," he deadpans.
I stare at him for a long while before glaring. "That wasn't funny, Severus," I growl.
"I thought it was hilarious, Sinistra. Maybe you should grow a funny bone."
I huff, shaking my head before walking off. My eyes narrow on the envelope on the floor. It's addressed to Severus. I bend down and pick it up, glancing at him.
"Severus, I think you dropped this." He snatches it from me instantly, glaring. "Sorry for doing a good deed. I won't do it the next time."
"It's just Slughorn writing me that I have to tutor someone over the break. It doesn't matter," he grumpily replies.
"As if I care that some student can't bother to read the book and figure out how to brew a potion. It's no skin off my back." He then resumes his reading.
"It doesn't say which student, does it?"
"No. Just that whoever the idiot is they'll come see me." His eyes then glance at me. "Why do I have a feeling you talked him into me tutoring you over the break, Sinistra?"
"I—" When he closes his eyes, exhaling loudly, I panic and dart off out of the common room again. He's annoyed or angry or something. I don't know, but I just know that I have to leave, or I'm going to breakdown and admit it all to him. I don't want that. He likes Evans, not me. Any idiot knows that. I'm just a classmate.
I barely notice when I run out the front doors. The cold winter air stings me, of course, but the tears in my eyes sting even more. I run through the chilled air, brushing off the wet snowflakes as I do. There's a good four feet already on the ground, but it's snowing heavily and continuing to pile up. Then again, I remember Hagrid saying earlier that it looked like a blizzard was rolling in. I keep running, though, wanting to get far away from the castle.
It seems a lifetime later before I finally stop, breathing heavily and gasping at the frozen air that takes my breath away. I lean against something hard, closing my eyes and hanging my head. He's going to wonder why I ran out on him. I know I shouldn't have done that, but I don't want him to see me crying. All sorts of awkward questions come from that. It's not as if I can say to him, "Severus, I love you. I've been in love with you ever since our Sorting. The thought of leaving you is so hard for me because I feel like I'm abandoning you, and I'd never abandon you." He'd think I'm mad, which probably isn't far from the truth at this point.
Crackling underneath me makes me glance down just as the ground gives way. I let out a scream as I fall, only to cry out when I slam hard onto solid ground with the back of my head bouncing off something hard. I gasp, reaching back to where my head hurts trembling when I feel a warm, sticky substance on my fingers. I'm bleeding.
I try to roll over to move, only to cry out as a pain shoots through my body. Swallowing, I feel myself start to cry again. I know I shouldn't be panicking. But I'm scared, and this is just like last time. I ran off and didn't tell anyone . . . again. Will anyone even notice me missing? Or is it going to be a repeat of last time?
"That's not going to help, you know. No one can hear you cry over the wind. But what do I know, right?"
I glance towards the familiar voice. There's no way that he's here. I have to be—
"Hallucinating, yeah, that would be the smartest thing you've thought in awhile now. Running off and not telling anyone. I can see why you're not a Ravenclaw, Sinistra. You have the brains of a troll." It takes a moment before he's in my line of sight. He has that 'you're so stupid' look on his face. "Let's recap here. You didn't tell anyone where you were going. You ran out of the castle in the middle of a blizzard in only your school robes. You hit your head, and you're hallucinating. Nope, you're not stupid at all, Sinistra."
I stare at him, choking back a sob. "Can't you be any nicer?"
"Yes, but you're hallucinating me like this. If you want a nice, cuddly version of me snogging you senseless, then I suggest you hallucinate him instead. Until then, you're stuck with me."
I close my eyes, only to hear him laugh harshly.
"Oh, now there's a brilliant idea. Let's close our eyes after a head injury because we won't at all freeze to death in the meantime."
My eyes open, and I glare at him.
"I glare better. Want to see, Sinistra?" His lips are quirked upwards in a thin smile.
"I hate you."
"You love me, and you know it. Now, keep your eyes open. Or should I just start stripping to keep you awake?"
"What?" I hear him chuckle softly, which only makes me want to hit him.
"You heard me." He sighs, glancing up above at the hole. "So, what should we do while we wait for someone to rescue you?"
I ignore him. Sure, he's right. Hallucinations are never good, especially not ones after a head injury. But when it's a version of Severus to the extreme, it's even worse. Why can't he just be nicer? Why does he have to mock me all the time?
"Thought you'd like the sarcasm," he replies quietly. "It'd help take your mind off things."
"I'd rather you were mute than being sarcastic right now. I don't need you telling me how stupid I am, Severus. I already know it."
"Well, then, my work here is done. You won't hear another word from me, Sinistra."
I growl, grabbing something to throw at him. But, of course, there's nothing within reach. I'll hit him with my book when I get back.
"Ouch. My poor real self. Must you be so abusive to me, Sinistra?"
"I thought you were going to be silent," I hiss.
He sighs and sits back, out of my line of sight again. I feel slightly better about this, which only makes me even more depressed. Severus, even if he is a hallucination, is with me, and he's being his—well, actually not really—self.
Time seems to pass by so slowly. Then again, it's been silent for, well, ever it seems now. I sigh and turn my head. Severus has moved sometime during the quiet, but he's been watching me. His lips are pursed as if he wants to say something but is holding it in. I draw my robes even more around me before glancing away.
My whole body aches, and I'm shivering like mad. No matter what I do, I can't get warm. It's just so freezing. I moan softly, rubbing my arms for the hundredth time. As I exhale, I watch the large cloud slowly float away. It's so cold, so damn cold.
"Aren't you going to help me, Severus?" He glances towards me, narrowing his eyes before shaking his head. "Yeah, well, I hope you freeze to death too, git." Why hasn't someone found us yet? Why are we still here? I glance at Severus once more. "Aren't you cold?" He doesn't seem at all affected by the freezing temperatures.
"Sin—Aurora, I'm not really here."
"No." He frowns, moving a bit closer to me. "What's my name?"
"What House am I in?"
"Slytherin." I moan again, moving my hand up slowly. My head hurts horribly, and I'm extremely woozy. It's as if the room is spinning around me, only I know that I'm lying down. "And before you ask, I'm Aurora Sinistra, same." I watch him nod, still frowning. If I didn't know any better, I would say that he's concerned. "How long have we been here, Severus?"
"Too long," he replies quietly.
I don't respond. What can I say other than 'oh' anyway? I rub my arms once more, barely feeling it at all. I'm so cold. My fingers are purple or maybe it's dark blue. I can't tell anymore. Then again, I don't really care either. What color it really is isn't going to help me.
"Severus, can't you start a fire? It's so cold."
"I would if I was here, Aurora." He then sighs, glancing up again before looking back at me. "They'll be coming soon."
I don't reply to him. I just look up at the hole that I fell through. The wind is still howling above us. Every now and then I feel a snowflake fall on me, but I don't care. I should find that odd that I don't care, but I don't. I'm more tired than anything right now. I sigh. It would be so easy just to close my eyes. I'd be warm then.
I laugh softly, turning my head towards Severus. His black intense eyes hold mine. I could just lose myself to those eyes. Hell, I have lost myself in those eyes numerous times.
"What?" he asks.
"I'm glad you're here, Severus." I smile when he snorts.
"Why? Because you find me to be, oh so, charming?"
"No. Because I know that I'm not alone this time." I watch him close his eyes glancing away. "I didn't mean to upset you."
"I'm a hallucination, Aurora. I'm not here. Your mind is imagining me. I'm purely a figment of it." He then glances up at the hole again, swallowing harshly. It's almost as if he's begging for someone to show up, and the look on his face is heartbreaking.
I open my mouth to speak, only to yawn instead. I am so tired. I stretch slightly, crying out from the pain this causes. Ignoring the pain, I moan quietly, moving to get a bit more comfortable a moment later. I don't even notice how sluggish I am.
"Hey, stay awake, Aurora."
"Leave me alone, Severus." My breathing slows as I draw in several breathes, readying myself for sleep. I can feel the warmth now. It's just out of reach, but the flickering of light dances across my face. I turn more towards Severus, my head not hurting oddly enough.
"No." He growls quietly. "Stay awake."
"Can't, tired," I reply, my words slurring slightly. "So tired . . ." I can hear the faint laughter off in the distance. Then I smell the warm, delicious house elf food from the kitchens.
"Aurora, you have to stay awake." Concern is etched into every single word and mixed with . . . fear possibly? He hardly expresses any emotion except anger.
"Go away, Sev," I slur, attempting and failing to bat my hand at him to push him away.
"Dammit, stay awake," he snaps, clearly angered.
"Goway." My words have blended together, but this doesn't even hit me. I can now see the Slytherin common room, the dark sofas with the eerie backdrop of Black Lake behind it. I feel the warmth now, flooding me from the crackling fire beside me.
"Aurora, please," a voice begs near me. "Please stay awake. If you don't . . ." The speaker then pauses for a moment, a shudder passing over him. "Aurora, please. You'll die if you don't."
I shrug, completely numb to everything now. How can I die when it's so warm? So unbelievably warm. I gently start to undo my robes. Whoever is in charge of the fire has gotten it too warm now.
"Don't. Aurora, stop. That's not real. You're cold. Remember the cold. Aurora, please."
I pull my arms out of my enlarged sleeves, resting my bare arms on my chest. It's warm now. It's as if I've stepped into a really hot shower, only I can't find the water. I kick off my boots, wishing I could actually sit up to remove my wool socks. It feels like summer out right now.
"Stop. Please." Listening to the voice is so heartbreaking. "Aurora, please."
The raw emotion spoken forces me to stop. Whoever it is that's speaking to me seems so close to breaking down. I feel bad for them, whoever they are. I moan softly, coughing.
"Sev . . .?"
He replies instantly with a simple 'what.' I don't see him, though.
"Will . . . will you stay, Severus?" I whisper, feeling myself slip even more to the darkness. I then add a moment later, whispering, "with me?"
"Forever," he answers, his calm voice soothing me.
He then chuckles softly. "I'm a figment of your imagination, Aurora. As long as you care for me, I'll be with you . . . even if my real self isn't." His head snaps upwards a moment later, eyes narrowing. "Do you hear that?"
"What?" I hear nothing, only the crackling of the fire beside me.
"Someone's coming." He then looks at me. "Your wand, Aurora. Send up a spark."
"Do it now."
I stare at him. I don't hear anything. However, I can tell by the look on his face that he clearly does. Wincing and biting back my cries of pain, I slowly reach for my wand. I trust him . . . completely. When my fingers curl around the silver wood, I gradually pull it out of my pocket, raising it a moment later and whimpering at the pain this causes.
"Shh, Aurora. I know. Just send up a spark. Shh," he whispers, his voice trembling slightly.
The green spark leaps from the tip of my wand, vanishing into the darkness. My arm then slams down onto the hard ground, since I'm unable to hold it in the air any longer then a moment. I stare at him, watching him stare up at the hole.
"I love you." I swallow down the regret when he glances towards me, a rare smile on his lips.
"I know." The black depths that I love so much then glance back up, resuming his vigil.
I watch him, taking in every breath he takes, every reaction he makes. I notice his jaw tense at something above. I observe him, sighing in what one could only describe as relief. I then see him leave, blending in with the bright light that's appeared out of nowhere.
"Here! She's over here!" shouts someone, a woman I recognize a moment later. "Oh, you poor child." The voice is softer now. "Shh, it's okay." The woman then flicks what I assume is a wand at me. My robes instantly wrap back around me, as do a pair of arms. "Merlin, Miss Sinistra, you're absolutely freezing." The woman then mumbles under her breath, "Damn you, Albus Dumbledore. Have you become deaf?" She flicks her wand then, an ethereal-looking cat appearing a moment later before leaping out of the hole. "It'll be all right now, Miss Sinistra. We'll get you warmed up in no time."
"My head hurts, Professor," I whisper, wishing Severus was with me again.
"I know, dear. I know." My head lolls to the side, and I sigh quietly. He said forever.
When I awaken again, it's to the clean, pristine white walls of the hospital wing. I'm on the cot directly under the window so the sun is shining on me. I groan at this annoyance, feeling loads better than I had. Slowly, I lift myself up to sit back against the window. One of these days I'm going to learn to stop running.
A/N: Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed the oneshot.