The First Rule

this was a prompt given to me by hlopushka at the then_theres_us ficathon (if you haven't checked it out already - GO NOW!)
and instead of doing something, well, coherent and decent, i wrote this. enjoy. the prompt was 'rule number one: the doctor lies.'

It's a boring day at Torchwood, which is quite something to say for a Monday.

But, alas, it is a Bank Holiday Monday.

The paperwork is done; the filing has all be sorted; all the e-mails have been replied to; the aliens are taking advantage of the bank holiday and are bothering someone else in the galaxy today; even the dimension cannon is on hiatus until the part she needs comes in from Tokyo.

So there is nothing for Rose Tyler to do apart from sit at her desk, drink tea, and flick t0hrough Heat magazine.

Half of the staff are off, for the bank holiday. It's a big deal in this universe, many of the citizens of Great Britain are off on holiday, frolicking the sea of Majorca or Cyprus. If they've got a little bit of cash they might even be on a jaunt to the Seychelles, or maybe America.

She'd always wanted to go to the Seychelles. It always seemed like a lovely, relaxing place. Her desire to visit had been increased by her parents' honeymoon. They had honeymooned in the Seychelles, and the photos had seemed gorgeous.

Rose sighed as she flicked her page. She stood up and wandered over to the door, and saw her good friend, Ianto, in the office across the corridor. His door was also open, and he was doing activities similar to hers; he was doing a crossword.

"Ianto?" she said, and his head shot up.

"Rose? Anything?" he said, putting down his pen and looking hopeful.

"Nothing," she said, taking her comfy swivel chair from her office and dragged it - with some degree of difficulty - into Ianto's office. "Absolutely nothing. For the first time since arriving, I'm bored stiff."

Ianto sighed, and then smiled. "What about the cannon?" he said, leaning forward. He was one of the few people Rose had learnt to trust enough in this universe to know him about the dimension cannon.

"Needs a part that's being delivered from Tokyo," she said, leaning back in her chair and propping her feet up on one of the chairs that were in Ianto's office. Uncomfy buggers they were. "Also, I was thinking," she said, tapping her thumb against her chin in thought, "how long does it take to get to the Seychelles?"

"The Seychelles?" Ianto said. "I think it's about twelve or thirteen hours."

Damn this universe for not inventing a safer Concorde.

"So I can't get there and back in time for work tomorrow then?"

Ianto laughed at the hopeful look on Rose's face. "No, honey. You'd just get there and have to fly back again. And you'd still be late. And that would be the day aliens chose to invade at 8am."

"They couldn't just wait 'til lunch?" Rose whined, and Ianto laughed again. "Bugger it. I should have gone on Thursday like the rest of this damn place."

"Ah, but then you would have missed the wonderful cake at Marjory's leaving party on Friday," Ianto said.

Rose sighed dramatically. "I would have missed the cake!" she said, throwing her arms up in the air, as Ianto nodded solemnly. "That was damn good cake," she continued, thinking. "Do we have any more of that? I could go to town on that cake right now."

"I think Jack ate the rest of it."

"Argh!" Rose cried, throwing her head down on the desk, leaning it on her crossed arms. "I'll kill him when he comes back from Spain. I will, I swear." Her voice was muffled as she spoke into her arms.

"I believe you, Rose, but I think someone's looking for you." Ianto's voice was amused.

Rose sighed. "What do you mean, Ianto," she said, lifting her head from her arms and turning around slowly. "If it's Grace from six, tell her no, she can't use my - Doctor?"

Rose was gaping as she took in the long, lanky, brown hair and pinstriped figure that was leaning quite casually in Ianto's office doorway.

"Rose," he said, beaming at her.

Rose was mirroring his smile when she frowned. "I thought you said that coming back here was impossible?"

The Doctor laughed. "Rule Number One, Rose: 'the Doctor lies'."

Rose sighed. "I thought Rule Number One was 'don't wander off'?"

The Doctor shook his head. "That's Rule Number One point Five. Keep up. You're getting forgetful in your old age."

Rose scowled.

"Anyway," the Doctor said, backing out into the corridor and looking around, "this place seems pretty dead to me. So that means they wouldn't mind if I stole you?"

Rose grinned. "I don't think I'll be missed."

"Well, we best do what we do best."



Ianto smiled as they left his office, laughing along the corridor. Eventually their footsteps faded away into nothing.

Ianto started laughing as he picked up his crossword and pen. "Bet she's glad she never went to the Seychelles now," he said to himself, as he used the internet to find out nine, down.