A loud growl was heard as a teenage boy stood tall among a group of beaten bodies. He possessed a head full of brown hair and dark eyes and was rather muscular with a wide-spread build. He was holding his school jacket in one hand, his other hand holding up the leader of the beaten group.

This teen's name is Oga Tatsumi. He was a truly kind, peace loving, and warm hearted person.

"You better have a damn good reason for waking me up. Start talking or I'll start breaking your fucking arms!"

Not.

The leader started to sweat buckets and immediately shouted at everyone to bow like submissive dogs. The teenager glanced at his would be attackers and snorted angrily.

"You didn't answer the question dumb shit," The teen growled as he started to squeeze his offender's shoulder tightly.

A short distance away, the teen's school bag had a sharpened 2X4 jammed through a certain spot, the same spot where his head was earlier.

"W-We just got carried away is all! It was just that Ishi-high's legendary Brutal Ogre Oga-kun was sleeping so defenselessly…We just thought this was our chance!"

"Hmph, you're lucky," Oga said coldly, "Anyone else's ass would have died."

"Heh heh, though it would have been great if you had died…"

The icy cool teenager narrowed his eyes at the leader before smashing the idiot face first into the ground.

"What was that?" The teen said with a tick mark protruding upon his forehead.

The leader didn't say anything; he was too busy trying to regain the feelings in his face.

"Let me show you what happens when you fuck with me!" Oga roared as he grabbed the leader.

Soon, Oga was standing by the river, hands in a vice grip around the ankles of the leader as he repeatedly dunked the suffering bastard in.

"I wonder if I should call an ambulance," Oga muttered, "Nah, waste of my cell phone minutes."

All around him, the beaten group thought the same thing.

This dude was EVIL.

"I should probably stop. Dude's not even twitching anymore…then again, I was having a nice dream…aw screw it, a couple more minutes won't hurt."

And then he noticed the old man that had floated down the river. The teen dropped his victim into the water and stared with an uplifted eyebrow as everyone else ran. The old man floated close enough to the side of the river bank that Oga managed to grab him and pull the old man ashore.

"All right old man, in addition to shutting up about whatever the hell you were doing and saving your life, I'm going to demand you pay me in cash right now or I'll toss you back in."

The old man then split into two and a baby popped out. The teen stared at the spectacle and smacked himself across the face to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Nope, old man still split in two with baby crawling out. Not a dream and definitely not a drug trip.

The baby looked around with half lidded eyes before settling upon the teen.

'Hmm, mysterious baby that just seemingly came out of man. Ew. Not only is this fucked up beyond belief it's more fucked up than…than…ah fuck you elusive memory. I'm going back to the baby.' Oga mentally grumbled.

The teen stared down at the baby who in turn stared back up, matching eye for an eye.

'I'm so confused…I better consult the command menu for these type of situations. Okay, let's see…fight, run, threaten, sob, or kill…maybe I should fight…'

The baby made a noise that sounded like 'auu' with a questioning tone.

'Wait wait, fighting babies is not a good idea. Little bastards like these usually tend to have scary parents.. No matter how fun it is to toss babies into the air, fighting babies is bad! All right, I'm a responsible person. I babysat before; maybe this is the same thing?'

The teen screwed on his best 'parent' face and spoke to the baby.

"Hey, you lost kid?"

Of course, the image in his head and the image seen were totally different. While the teen thought he looked like a smiling, coffee cup holding, adult with shiny hair, he instead looked like a psychopath with twitchy eyes that spoke untold volumes of two things.

Evil and horror.

The two sat in silence for a short while before the teen glared at the baby.

"Hey, hey you, do something…a baby should do," The teen said as he poked the baby in the stomach.

"Aaaah," The baby said with a happy tone.

"…Are you hungry or something?"

"Kya, kya!" The baby cooed as he crawled over and started to rub his face against the teen's arm.

'...What?'

The teen slowly picked up the baby and held him at arm's length. The boy only continued to make happy noises and coo while the teen stared at him blankly.

"Okay, against the little logic and reasoning I have, I will now take you with me to my friend's home where he will probably hurl insults at me while raving about the fact I currently am holding a naked and cooing baby."

The baby only seemed to become even more happy and excited by his words. His movements became even more playful and straining as the baby attempted to hug him around his neck.

Oga had moved quickly to his friend's home, dodging people by detouring through alleyways. Oga's friend had silver hair and was dressed in a white shirt with black pants, something that resembled a high school uniform. This teen's name is Furuichi Takayuki.

Unlike his brutish friend, he was a kind, peace loving, and warm hearted person.

"You're a fucking idiot you know that? I mean seriously? Carrying around a baby, that is naked by the way, all the way from the river to my house and not once did you think to call the police or something? In fact, give me one good reason not to kick your ass for invading my personal time with this stupidity!" The teen's friend shouted while gesturing towards him wildly.

Okay you know what? Fuck this; you can describe your own characters. And thus the narrator stormed out.

Back to the story.

"Hey, not my fault that-"

"What do you mean it's not your fault? Of course it's your damn fault! You didn't have to pick up the baby, you didn't have to stay by the river so long, and you didn't even have to help that old man who came floating down the river! Why the hell did you even think that would be a good idea?"

"...I thought he had money?"

"What the hell would you need money for?"

"Why else? Lunch ain't cheap anymore. Besides, I want to reserve that new game that's coming out."

"Oh yeah I heard about that. Did you know you get this awesome special add-on if you pre-order it?"

The two started to animatedly talk about the game as the baby made happy noises and rolled around in a circle on its butt. A loud 'dabuu' from the baby broke the conversation though and immediately the two got back into the argument.

"Look Oga, I know you're smarter than this. I mean, we've been friends since we were kids but for real you idiot, picking up a baby from random is like shooting off custom made message fire crackers telling everyone that you're either an irresponsible father or a pedophile."

"Furuichi, I know where you're coming from but I swear to ME that if you ever call me one of those things, I will find a way to make you suffer immensely!"

"Ugh, yeah, I'm sorry. Look, let's just find this baby his mom and dad already."

"Yeah, that's not going to be easy…"

"How? Just go to the police or something and we'll be rid of him."

"Yeah, but you see…he's kinda…well…attached to me," Oga said as he scratched his head.

"Huh? What do ya mean?"

As if understanding what the two teenagers were talking about, the baby got up from his own spot on the floor and stumbled over to Oga and collapsed into his lap where he let out a contented giggle.

"…Well crap. That complicates things," Furuichi said as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, this little bastard has been clinging to me like I'm some sort of giant piece of candy or something. Seriously, his grip is like super glue."

"Well, just goes to show how your cold thug like exterior still has room for a loving baby," Furuichi said with a smirk.

"Hmph, you seem to have made a rather heavy mistake," A cold voice said.

Both teens turned to look at the window to find a blonde woman with green eyes and a well endowed bust dressed in black Lolita style clothing. She was holding an umbrella and glaring at the two before her like they were nothing more than insignificant worms.

Furuichi freaked out to see her standing on his dresser but calmed down slightly after he realized one thing. Despite the intimidating aura she gave off, only one real collective thought ran through both of the teenage boys' heads.

"She's pretty hot. I wonder if she's single."

"Like the young master would become attached to the likes of gutter filth like you." The woman said as she stepped off the dresser she was standing on. By now, both teens were standing up and staring intently. Her movements were filled with grace and a hypnotically sort of feeling. Both teens struggled to remain focus on the task at hand while keeping their gaze from drifting downwards. The baby hung from Oga's collar, also looking at the new arrival.

"Come young master, your nurse Hilda has come to welcome you," She said with a different and warmer tone.

The baby stared at her for a total of three whole seconds before turning his head away that was punctuated with a small 'da'. Hilda froze, eyes open with shock. Her master had rejected her over this pathetic excuse for a human?

"Yeah…doesn't seem like he wants to go with you…" Oga said as he rubbed his neck.

"Umm, young master?" Hilda said as the baby turned even further away from her. Suddenly, she shot forward and grabbed him by the legs, "Come! We must go!"

Oga stood still and observed the awkward scene with an impassive face. Furuichi stood off to the side and had pulled out a bag of rice crackers and started munching as quietly as possible as he enjoyed the free entertainment. It was almost a good enough compensation for having a cosplaying crazy hot chick trespass into his home.

It was at that moment no one saw it coming. The baby, by now, had become so harassed that the tears in his eyes broke free and he let out a loud wail. The fact he had a crying baby attached to his wasn't a real big problem, it was the fact that said crying baby somehow managed to produce a huge amount of electricity that charred everything in its blast radius.

This meant that Oga, Furuichi, Hilda, and a good portion of Furuichi's room had a nice long shock and developed a black charred tint afterwards.

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After a few PAINFUL seconds, everything calmed down.

"I apologize. I am the demon Hildegarde, and I am this baby's maidservant demon."

"Demon?" Oga said with question marks floating atop his head.

Furuichi was still slightly smoking and crispy.

"And that child is to be king of demons. His name is Kaiser de Emperana Beelzebub IV. In other words, he is the demon lord."

"Demon lord?" Oga said slowly, thinking on the word. He promptly shuddered and hugged himself, images of his father 'training' him to be a man came to mind.

"Demon lord?" Furuichi wondered as he imagined a horned beast with a maw full of razor sharp teeth and bat wings. Scratching his arm, he shrugged his shoulders.

"All right, that's awesome and all. Good luck with that and other random generic bullshit. You can have the little brat back; he's starting to annoy me," Oga spoke after he stopped shivering.

"No, that won't be possible," Hilda said. She raised her hand to silence Oga's question.

"Why? Because, you seem to have been chosen as the Demon Lord's father. The great Demon Lord said this: Take him to the human world, find some human to raise him, and have him destroy humanity, 'kay?" Hilda said in deadpan voice. It would have been funny if both teens hadn't suddenly felt a chill spike up their spines.

Oga blinked and turned to his friend since childhood. Furuichi had stopped in mid bite of a rice cracker and stared at Hilda. Seconds passed before he finally chomped down, chewed softly, and then spoke.

"So yeah, this Great Demon Lord dude sounds like someone who would be better off getting, oh I don't know, killed… or should probably stop getting his way of speech from valley girls…no offense."

Hilda glared at Furuichi with an intensity that would have dropped any man to his knees and made them scream in terror. Furuichi only stared back, unperturbed by the maid's glare before he mouthed "Meh" and going back to eating rice crackers. The demon nurse seemed shocked that someone as cowardly looking as Furuichi hadn't freaked out or collapsed. Shaking her head quickly, she focused back on the task at hand.

"I have come here in search of a human suitable to be the young Master's parent," At this, she pointed her umbrella at Oga, "It seems he has decided upon you."

Oga only had one real intelligent response to that.

"Eh?"

"Good luck." Furuichi said with a heavy hint of sarcasm laced in his voice.

"Oh hohoho" A deep voice shouted as a large muscular man with a curly mustache in a white shirt with heart boxers appeared. He looked like he would be at home in a gay bar, "My eyes do not lie."

"Who the fuck are you?" Oga shouted as he put in a fair amount of distance from the man.

"This is the dimensional transference demon, Alaindelon."

"A dimensional transference demon is just as the name says: a demon that can transfer people or things between the dimensions. In order to transfer the Master from the Demon world, I floated down the river and half-conscious, I saw you standing and laughing heartily as humans groveled before you! I was convinced!"

"Of what? That floating down rivers is a terrible idea? And I wasn't laughing!"

"No! That you would make the perfect parent for the Demon Lord!"

"You've got to be kidding me." Oga said as he ran a hand through his hair, "Yeah, I think I'm going to say 'fuck no' to this. I mean, I guess I should feel honored and all but this brat's only attached to me because I like to believe I am a very likeable person or something. Nothing to really say I should become his dad that is going to help him destroy this world or whatever."

Hilda smiled innocently at him. It was in due time, that Oga would learn that the smile was never innocent, only pure evil.

"In other words, you refuse?"

"Yeah, I do. Sorry, but I heard there are bette-GAH!"

Oga shouted because Hilda had suddenly pulled a sword out of her umbrella and tried to run him through with it.

"What the fuck? You crazy bitch!"

A tick mark developed on the demon nurse's forehead.

"Please die," She simply said as she swung again.

The demon had laced her attack with a heavy amount of energy, causing a shockwave that destroyed the remaining undamaged portion of Furuichi's room. Dodging swiftly, both Furuichi and Oga had maneuvered their own separate way out of the exploding home. Furuichi rolled out of his front door and started sprinting away while Oga had jumped out the window and caught up with his friend.

"MOTHERFUCKER!" Furuichi roared, "SOMEONE GET ME A GUN, THIS BITCH'S BRAINS ARE ABOUT TO DECORATE THE FLOOR!" Furuichi yelled hysterically.

"Calm down Furuichi! Geez!" Oga was normally used to his friend's erratic behavior, but the few times Furuichi snapped, he snapped hard.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN? THAT BITCH DESTORYED MY HOUSE! MY MOM'S GOING TO KILL ME THEN MY DAD'S GOING TO STOMP THE REMAINS! OH MY GOD HOW AM I GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO THEM! YOU KNOW MY FATHER MAN! HE'S NEVER THE TYPE TO GET MAJORLY PISSED BUT HE WILL AT THIS!"

"…Wait, is there something on my back?"

"Oh shit! The baby's still attached to you!" Furuichi shouted as he started to sprint faster.

"Hey, wait up!" Oga yelled as he grabbed at the baby and tried to pry him off.

"Do you think you can run away from a demon?" Hilda said in a low dark voice as she stood atop a street pole. She looked down at the two running humans with contempt and signaled her faithful flying companion to intercept them.

"Akbaba!" She shouted as the demon bird swooped in and landed in front of the two teenagers.

The both of them skid to a halt and stared at the menacing creature before them. The bird glared at the two of them with a bloodthirsty sound emanating from its beak as it rose up on its haunches and prepared to strike for its mistress. Furuichi gulped before he noticed Oga was missing from his spot right next to him.

Instead, said teenager idiot had taken a running start and done an incredibly stupid yet effective idea.

Oga Tatsumi had dashed at the bird and jumped into the air where he proceeded to ax kick the demon bird right in between the eyes. The bird's eyes glazed over and it let out a weak caw as unconsciousness consumed it. Without breaking stride, Oga resumed his dashing away while Furuichi stood dumb struck at his friend's action.

"You…kicked…a…Demon, Oga? Seriously? Oh kami, how am I still friends with you and still possess all my fingers?" Furuichi muttered to himself as he chased after Oga.

Above, Hilda stared at where her familiar laid defeated with wide eyes. She again shook off her shock and resumed going after the two teens. Hilda was back on the chase, throwing weird energy blasts at the two teens. Along their run, delinquents caught sight of the two teens and immediately started to whoop and give chase as they brandished weapons and fists of fury. It was finally back at the river bank near a giant steel tower when the two teens were cornered. Around them stood a circle of delinquents, all ready to pounce and claim Oga's legendary status for themselves.

"All right pricks! I'm in a bad mood right now so this is your only warning! Any runners will NOT get they asses severely kicked for being pussies! So I suggest you all get the hell out of my face before I start swinging!" Oga roared with his arms raised.

No one heeded his warning and instead started to circle in closer. Furuichi started to sweat nervously as he noticed the bats and knives some of the punks held. Oga only smacked his right fist into his left palm and got ready to start the brawl bound to happen because everyone was a shit head. With a loud yelp, the delinquents charged dead ahead, intent on taking down Oga as a group. Said teenager met their charge with his own war cry as he started to kick ass.

It should be known that through many years that both Furuichi and Oga each developed a way of fighting. Oga liked to brawl and swing like crazy. Possessing inhuman strength and above average speed plus reflexes made him a deadly fighter in any situation of fist fighting. Furuichi, on the other hand, was a bit of a pacifist. While he did have extensive experience in a fighting style, Furuichi chose not to use it unless in extreme cases. This was not an extreme case. As thus, Furuichi only did two things while his friend Oga tore the punks apart.

The first one to fall had been wielding a bat. The teen had swung wildly in hopes of hitting Oga. The baby carrying brawler expertly dodged left and right until he got close enough to grab the batter by the shoulder and smash his fist into his face with enough force to send the unlucky bastard flying. The teen turned projectile had flown through the group and created an opening in the tight circle. Without breaking stride, Oga bum rushed the next set of delinquents and started to throw punches left and right. Thugs went flying off as Oga cleaned house slowly but surely.

"Haha! Come on! Is this best you got?" Oga roared happily as he continued to take down delinquents. The brown haired boy did not registered the happy cooing noises or wild gestures the baby stuck to his back was making.

Furuichi was doing his best to stay out of the whirlwind that was Oga. The gray haired teen maneuvered and angled himself to avoid the grasp and swings of his enemies, making sure that he was never cornered or rolling into another thug's strike. He was like a flowing river, never stopping and always moving forward, whether it was through someone's personal space or around. Furuichi ducked, rolled, jumped, slid, hopped, and even used someone else as a personal shield throughout the big brawl.

Such as it has been so for months whenever the two were caught in a fight.

"Oga! Stop taunting them and finish it already!" Furuichi yelped as he dodged another swing that was close to marring his face. His best friend always dragged him into these fights! Why?

In the end, everyone was defeated by Oga. Furuichi had fallen to his knees and started panting heavily at the amount of exertion he felt from actively moving through a horde of dangerous and destructive armed low life thugs.

"…I have a feeling I'm forgetting something," Oga suddenly muttered. It was at that point that Hilda pointed her blade at Oga's face.

"Oh yeah, running for my life against a crazy cosplaying demon bitch…Furuichi, remind me next time something like this happens 'kay?"

For his part, the gray haired teen held thumbs up before backing away slowly from the two.

"Was it your plan to just escape from me like that?" Hilda said coldly, "To continue running away until you were cornered like a rat?" The blade was so close to Oga's skin he could practically feel the cold metal press into his flesh.

"Well it was until I had to fight all these fuckers," Oga said as he looked at the defeated pile of thugs, "Man, I have got to start learning the concept of hit-n-run. Anyways, you were planning on killing me even if I did accept didn't you?"

Hilda only stared impassively at him as the teen slowly turn his head back to stare at the demon wet nurse.

"Demons are quite stuck up on contracts, so I'm happy you refused." Hilda said coolly as she dug the tip of her sword into Oga's cheek, drawing blood.

Unknown to both parties, the crisimon drop slid down Oga's cheek and created a thin rivet of blood that dripped onto the green haired baby clinging to Oga's back. Now just because he was a baby didn't mean Beel didn't know things. Right now, he was sure what he considered his mother figure was currently hurting his father figure. If the shiny talking box back at demon land had told him, mommy and daddy fighting meant bad things were happening. Because daddy was bleeding from mommy's weapon, that meant daddy and mommy were fighting right? And that meant they don't love each other anymore and leave. Leaving him all alone by himself. Tears pricked the corners of Baby Beel's eyes. He didn't want to be alone, not again. Why were mommy and daddy fighting? Why! WHY?

Hilda was the first to notice Baby Beel's state of distress. She stared with worried eyes at her young master and reached towards him in hopes of comforting him. It was too late that Oga, Furuichi and Hilda realized that what was about to happen would be completely and totally destructive. With a heavy heave of his little chest, Baby Beel let out a loud ear screeching wail.

"WAH!"

The pure raw emotion behind the wail had generated a massive electric storm that encompassed the area. The prone bodies lying around were sent flying like rag dolls. Furuichi managed to break into a sprint before the water works had started and had just barely managed to reach what was considered a safe distance away from the destructive storm.

As he turned around, his eyes opened wide in shock as he caught Hilda in mid-flight, the demon nurse in a semi state of disbelief as Baby Beel continued to wail, Oga in the midst of it. Hilda stared in horror at the massive storm of destruction being wrought upon the area as she wondered what to do.

"Hey! Hilda or whatever! Can't you do something about this?" Furuichi shouted as he saw Oga collapse.

"Impossible," She stated, "This level of crying…only someone like the Great Demon Lord can stop it."

Furuichi tensed up and started to grit his teeth, worried for his friend.

"You little brat." Everyone looked up and was surprised to find that the storm had disappeared, "Stop crying so much, you're a man aren't cha?"

"Oga!" Furuichi shouted.

Sitting cross legged in what had been the eye of the storm; Oga was patting the demon baby on the head as he smirked at him. The teen wiped away the baby's tears before getting up and walking a short distance away. The baby, truly enraptured by this human, started to crawl after him.

Hildagarde was in disbelief. 'No way...stopping that massive fit that even I couldn't with just that...that's not what not what should surprise me. To begin with, the demon king's parent. Is this so called catalyst to bring out the young master's massive demon energy in the human world. In other words, no matter how much of a temper...pulling out this much power is...without a doubt...this man's nature as a parent...!'

At that moment the electric tower damaged in the tantrum started to fall towards Oga and the devil baby.

''YOUNG MASTER!'' She cried out as the two look like they were going to be killed.

"Hey! Stop following me! I ain't your dad so just go-"

"OGA!"

"Huh?" Oga looked at Furuichi who shouted his name then behind him.

"OH SHIT!" Without a moment's hesitation, the teen dashed over to the baby and snatched him up.

Both parent and child looked up as the steel tower got closer and closer to ending their life. Oga saw his life flash before his eyes. Memories, both good and bad, were glimpsed through as the teen felt true fear grip his being. Yet, for some reason, Oga felt one nagging feeling assaulting his head. It felt like it was trying to tell him something.

'True strength is derived not from immense training or sheer determination alone, but from the knowledge that you are protecting someone. That you are ensuring the continued existence for someone precious to you.'

Oga didn't know why but when he remembered that one statement, his feelings of death and fear disappeared. Taking a deep breath, he raised his hand at the tower and glared at it.

"FUCK OFF!" He roared.

Later that day, everyone with a TV would know of the big explosion that happened down by the river. Most normal people would wave it off as a freak accident. Certain people who knew better all shook their heads and sighed.

Oga Tatsumi was doing it again.

=B=E=E=L=Z=E=B=U=B=

"Ugh, I feel like I've been out drinking." Oga grumbled as he sat up, "Huh, it all must been a crazy dream."

"It was not." A voice to his left said.

"HOLY SHIT STRANGER DANGER! I NEED AN ADULT!"

Hilda's umbrella impacted with Oga's skull, cleanly knocking him down.

"Ugh, you bitch!" Oga growled as he sat up and stared at her.

In her lap, Baby Beel cooed and played with a toy.

''It has been decided. You are the Demon King's parent. From today on together we'll raise a brilliant human destroying Demon King.''

Oga stared at her for a long time, "What kind of God have I pissed off and how do I repent?"