Yono tapped his foot in mild displeasure as Ron stood before him. "Hmm. An avalanche and a landside. And on the tallest mountain in the world. Nicely done, but no injuries to anyone, and no villages destroyed in the process! And this fixation on the one called Kim Possible must cease! You are on an evil path now, not one of romance!"
Ron was sweating, but stood his ground.
Yono calmed down a bit as he continued. "Very well. Now we come to your final exam. You are to pick at least two major world figures, and turn them to stone. Then all will bow down before your supreme evil, and you will be mere steps away from world domination! How does that sound, human?"
"Uh, coolio, I guess..."
After giving it some careful thought, Ron made his choices. But he already knew Yono would not be particularly pleased.
The next day, Achmed Imanutjob, ruler of a major mid-eastern country, was speaking at the United Nations. He begun his usual tirade against his country's supposedly mortal enemy. "Israel is our true enemy! The Holocaust is a myth entirely perpetrated by all our other enemies! And I pledge that we are committed to wiping this country off the face of the planet!"
A young blond haired teenager clad in a black gi suddenly appeared, and strode up to the demagogue.
The leader stopped in mid-rant and demanded, "Who are you?"
Ron snickered. "I'm you're worst nightmare. And you've been asking for this for a long time, Achmed."
With a blinding flash, Ron instantly turned the leader into a stony statue. The shock on his face was frozen in cold, hard rock for all the world to see. The UN General Assembly first gasped in fear, shocked into amazed silence. But the silence was broken as a single ambassador began to applaud. Slowly, more joined in until the entire assembly was on its feet, cheering in relief.
Ron stepped up onto the dais and gave them all a deep bow. He bade them farewell, smugly uttering, "Game, set, and match. Booyah!"
Chuckling to himself, he immediately disappeared. "Okay, who's next on my list? Oh, yeah..."
Ill Mah-Jong, leader of the northern half of a country still split in two by an inconclusive war over 60 years before, was listening to a briefing by his scientists in his capital city, Pingpongyang. Outside the window, their newest three-stage ICBM could be seen proudly standing on its launching pad, ready for firing.
"Dear Leader, we have at last succeeded in developing a nuclear weapon which will bring the American devils to their knees. When the device detonates high above America, it will create an electromagnetic pulse emitting enough gamma radiation to totally disable their entire power grid, sending them back into the technological dark ages for years to come. This will enable our glorious Leader to reunite our North and South in beautiful military campaign."
The Dear Leader nodded politely.
"Additionally, all Facebook, Twitter and even Google will likewise be totally inoperable by the American pigdogs."
The Dear Leader jumped to his feet, clapping wildly with glee.
A voice from behind them declared, "Not on my watch."
Everyone spun around at the sound of the young man's voice. With a bright orange flash, the Dear Leader and his cronies were instantly turned into stone.
Ron speculated on what would be done with the statues once they were discovered. "Hmm. Maybe they can be used by the next regime to decorate a Peace Garden in downtown Pingpongyang."
He turned to look out of the window, and frowned as he observed the rocket's final countdown to launch. "Uh, I don't think so."
With another bright flash, Ron turned the rocket into a huge orange banana, which promptly peeled open.
"There, much better. Spankin', as Kim would say."
Yono glared at Ron in angry silence for a full minute before beginning his newest tirade.
"I thought that you would take out one of the leaders of the world's great democracies, or a perhaps a great public figure. Not the two most evil leaders on the planet! We needed them in order to instill fear into the human population of the world!"
Yono sighed heavily as he opened his last bottle of aspirin, only to find it empty. He muttered something under his breath as pulled out a new bottle of Advil, downing four of the pills.
A tiny smile appeared on the evil monkey's face. "But that is of no further concern to me. The Islamic nations are all now on high alert after your little display at the UN, and a military coup has just occurred in Pingpongyang, where they are preparing to attack their southern neighbor within twelve hours. NATO is on full military alert, as well as Russia and Mainland China. And the United States is currently at DEFCON 2, only one step away from a full-scale nuclear retaliatory strike."
Yono's evil smile widened in pleasure. "Armageddon, anyone?"
Ron blanched as he thought to himself, "Oh, man. I don't see how this can get any worse."
High above the Earth in their cloaked reconnaissance spacecraft, two aliens carefully checked their sensors.
"Yes, War-Eagle, I see it. The humans are preparing for total war on a planetary scale."
War-Raptor grinned in satisfaction. "Excellent. And while they are busy fighting among themselves, that will leave them helpless against our own preemptive strike. Signal the homeworld to send all available warcraft to Earth immediately, attack plan Alpha Omega. Our revenge for Warhok and Warmonga is at hand! For Lorwardia!"
Kim and Yori were totally exhausted by the time they reached the last line of defense offered by Professor Dementor's giant robots. Even wearing her new and improved battle suit, she had been hard pressed to defeat Dementor's new design, a vastly upgraded version of Dr. Drakken's Lil' Diablos.
Kim panted, "Wow, I had to use all sixteen styles of my Kung Fu against those things, and some moves even I haven't ever used before. Behind you."
Yori swung the Lotus Blade around, deftly decapitating another of the evil machines. She was likewise out of breath, her Ninja training having been tested to the extreme by Dementor's last ditch effort to take over the world.
"Yes, Kim Possible. A most unusual sitch, as you say. On your left."
Another robot had gotten into attack position, using its flamethrower to squirt flaming Bueno Nacho Five-Alarm Hot Sauce directly at Kim. With her battle suit's scooped hand, she caught a huge glob of the fiery substance and launched it back at the robot, scoring a direct hit. It promptly melted into a pool of slag onto the floor of Dementor's new time-share lair.
With one final slash of her Lotus Blade, Yori dispatched the last of the huge mechanical beasts. Her body glowing brightly with the intense blue of her Mystical Monkey Power, she used the blade next to slash open a two-foot thick reinforced steel door, behind which cowered the frightened Professor.
He immediately threw up his hands in surrender. "All right, all right! I gif up, Kim Possible! Stand down your Ninja Babe, I'll come along qvietly!"
"Good call, Dementor. But I thought you said you were giving up your life of crime after your recent experience with Ron, and decided to go into the strudel business back in Bavaria?"
Dementor groaned, "Ya, but haf you not heard zat zee vurld ist coming to an end? I vanted to go out vith vun final hurrah, yes?"
Kim turned to Yori and said, "This is exactly what Señor Senior Senior and Señor Senior Junior said last night when we busted them."
"And early this morning when we arrested Duff Killigan for breaking into miniature golf course for one more round of golf."
Kim finished, "And Motor Ed just an hour ago after stealing that Formula One race car for one last joy ride."
She added with a small chuckle, "But no need to worry about Monkey Fist. He's hiding out in the monkey cage at the Middleton Zoo."
Yori tapped her chin. "Yes, but what about your greatest foes, Dr. Drakken and his sidekick Shego?"
"I got a call from General Sims a half hour ago. They just stole an alien spacecraft and were last seen heading into space."
Yori frowned. "Then maybe it is true, that the world is truly coming to an end?"
Kim shrugged. "I know that the world's military forces are on high alert after Ron's latest antics, but I have faith that our world leaders will see reason and stand down. No big."
She laughed as she added, "At least we're not being invaded by aliens again."
At that very moment, a deep roar began outside, growing steadily louder moment by moment. They all rushed out the door of the lair, immediately observing scores of huge Lorwardian warcraft descending from the sky. Eight craft landed in close proximity to them, each immediately disgorging several hundred heavily armed Lorwardians, who immediately began surrounding the young heroines.
Kim grimaced. "Oops. Looks like I spoke too soon."
Kim's Kimmunicator suddenly beeped. She flipped it open. "Kinda busy, Wade. What's the sitch?"
"Kim! Thousands of Lorwardian spacecraft have just landed! While the armies of the world were busy preparing to attack each other, they've swooped in and caught us completely off guard!"
Kim growled sarcastically, "Yeah? Tell me something I don't know..."
The Lorwardian leader boomed out, "Kimberly Ann Possible? I am WarCondor of the 1st Lorwardian Shock Army. Surrender or be destroyed!"
Kim spat back, "So not!"
She instantly charged up her battle suit, while Yori activated her Mystical Monkey Power, wielding the powerful Lotus Blade in what might be their final battle.
"It sure looks like a lot of ugly aliens out there, Yori."
Yori graced her with a calm smile. "Yes, Kim-chan. We should consider it deep honor that they have deployed so many warriors against only you and I. And although it would seem that the odds are against us, it will be our honor to go down fighting."
Kim grinned back, "Calm much in the face of certain death, Yori? That's what I've always liked about you."
A small tear formed in the corner of one eye as she thought of her one true love, even as evil as he may have become. "My only wish would have been to see Ron one last time. You've been totally great to work with Yori, but it just hasn't been the same without Ron-san."
Sadness also marred Yori's beautiful features. "Hai, Kim-chan. But perhaps in the next life..."
"How about this life, Yori-girl?"
Yori yelled out in surprised delight, "Stoppable-san!"
Kim rushed into Ron's arms, kissing him passionately over and over, barely believing that her deepest love and closest friend had returned.
She blurted out, "Ron, I don't care what's happened to you or what you've done, I forgive you." She kissed him again and continued, a bit calmer. "You saved my life by sacrificing yours. But if you ever pull a stupid stunt like that again, I promise that I will kill you myself and feed you to the Senior's piranhas. Clear?"
Ron smiled back at Kim and whispered, "Clear. And I missed you too, KP."
He spoke a little louder, "So, I heard you ladies needed a hand, and that the odds are against us?"
Kim rolled her eyes. "Understatement much?"
There were heavily armed Lorwardians as far as the eye could see.
"Well, let's see if we can whittle the odds a little more down to size."
He immediately launched into an attack, huge waves of orange energy blossoming out from his arms. Hundreds of Lorwardians were instantly turned to stone.
WarCondor yelled out, "Attack!"
He was the next to be turned into a statue, as the entire shock army opened fire.
Kim's force field glowed brightly from multiple weapons hits as she scooped up several energy rounds and flung them back at her attackers with deadly accuracy. She smiled as she realized that the Lorwardians were bunched so closely together that she could hardly miss.
Yori moved almost faster than the human eye could follow, becoming one with her Mystical Monkey Power. She deflected round after round of enemy fire, slashing down with every hit and taking out an unfortunate Lorwardian with every blow. Like a deadly ballet dancer, she had raised her choreography of destruction to practically a new and devastating art form.
After turning enough of the Lorwardians to stone in order to provide cover for Kim and Yori, Ron began targeting the Lorwardian attack craft with a concentrated barrage of intense energy bolts. One by one they exploded into huge fireballs, raining shrapnel and debris down upon the hapless Lorwardians. After making short work of their attack bots, he shifted his destructive firepower to their landing craft. Soon their attackers were without their heavy weapons, or a way of escape.
Under such withering fire from the trio of Team Possible, the Lorwardians began to fall back, then began what had never before happened in their entire military history. They broke ranks and began running for their lives.
Kim, Ron and Yori were overjoyed at their success, and began their pursuit of their erstwhile attackers. But they were surprised when at the periphery of the battle, hundreds of black-clad ninjas suddenly appeared. The Lorwardians themselves were now surrounded, and were quickly felled beneath the swords of their new attackers. The few surviving Lorwardians quickly surrendered, the Ninjas taking them into custody. And floating high above them, a translucent ball of cerulean blue surrounded their leader.
Yori recognized her master immediately, and rushed toward him. He floated down to her, gathering her in a warm embrace.
"Yori, I prayed that we would be in time. For a moment, I feared the worst."
She bowed her head slightly. "I confess, Sensei, for a moment I felt likewise. But Stoppable-san then appeared, and we all fought bravely, defeating the invaders."
Sensei gave Ron a sidelong look. "Yes, I see..."
Ron returned his frown with a sheepish look. "Heh-hey there, Sensei. How's it going?"
"Much better now, thank you for asking. But we can discuss your decision to follow the dark path of the Yono later. At present there remains many alien warships in orbit above us. And no way to get to them, unless..."
Ron began jumping up and down. "Ooh! Ooh! I can do that floaty-thingy just like you, Sensei! Only mine's, uh, kinda orange at the moment."
Sensei turned to Yori. "And you, Yori-chan. Have you yet mastered the art of levitation with your Mystical Monkey Power?"
"Hai, Master Sensei. And it will be my honor to accompany Stoppable-san into orbit as we despatch those who would enslave us."
Ron and Yori both formed their own translucent bubbles and began rising quickly into the air, and were soon out of sight. Soon the entire Earth was treated to a rare spectacle, tiny lights suddenly bursting into incandescence as the invading Lorwardian spacecraft were destroyed one by one.
As before, the Lorwardian invasion was over almost before it started. Ron and Yori were soon back on the ground and reunited with Kim, Hana, Rufus and Sensei.
Suddenly, with a bright orange flash, Yono appeared. Instantly, everyone tensed for battle, but Yono simply raised a hand to signal calm. He turned to address Ron.
"You have cleverly used the power of Yono the Destroyer to wreak unimaginable havoc across the planet, and have fulfilled the letter of the law concerning your pledge to me. Therefore I cannot destroy you, even if the spirit of your agreement has fallen far short of my expectations. Every single attempt at evil you have made was either by accident, or has turned into something incredibly beneficial to mankind! Furthermore, you have made Yono into huge laughing stock! Even worse, the balance of evil has once again been thrown into disarray!"
He continued to glare at Ron, who swallowed convulsively in fear of what would happen next.
Yono's shoulders finally slumped in defeat. "I cannot allow you to be my disciple anymore. I set you free from your pledge. You are free to go. And never return! And never, EVER call me for relationship advice concerning either Kim Possible OR Yori!"
He then turned to the wizened headmaster of Yamanouchi. "You have won this round, Sensei. It is time for me to return home. Headache much, much worse now. Will wash down my analgesics now with sake. Much sake..."
And with one last incredibly huge golden flash, Yono was gone. And with his departure, the Mark of the Yono likewise disappeared from Ron's hand.
Sensei smiled at Ron and said, "Stoppable-san, even as much as you were tempted by the seduction of evil, you acquitted yourself well. You gained the life of your beloved, and together with Kim and Yori, once again saved the world from evils both physical and spiritual. Yono has left for the darkness from which he came, and Yori's sister Hana may now grow up with the full knowledge of her own critical part in this momentous events."
Ron's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "Sister? Hana is Yori's sister? Why didn't anyone tell me this!"
Yori laughed with a joy she had not felt for what seemed like ages. "But this IS our way of telling you Stoppable-san! Oh, and I believe that the true Mystical Monkey Master would like his power back, as much as an honor as it has been to have borrowed it for a time."
She raised her arms and closed her eyes, releasing her hold on the unique power. Its blue energy swiftly flowed completely back into Ron, who smiled in relief at the much more comfortable feeling.
"Oh, yeah, that's so much better than that orange stuff."
Kim snuggled up to him and gave him a long, deep kiss. "Welcome back, my Ultimate Monkey Master. And thanks for saving my life. But if you ever do that again without telling me first, I'll follow the dark path of the Yono myself, and then there will be hell to pay, Ron Stoppable. Understood?"
Ron nodded silently as Rufus giggled.
"One last thing, KP. Whatever became of Monkey Fist?"
Kim cocked a questioning eyebrow. "Good question. Last I heard, he was hiding in the monkey cage at the Middleton Zoo..."
Back in Yono's Dark Temple, Monkey Fist suddenly reappeared. He muttered, "Oh, no. Here we go again."
From behind him, a voice tinkled, "Welcome home, honey-bunny!"
Monkey Fist spun around, coming face to face with DNAmy. He looked down at her hand which now bore the Mark of the Yono.
Yono's laugh continued to echo throughout the temple as Monkey Fist ran screaming in terror.