Love, Lies & Lizard Babies by PoorQueequeg
Helen gradually became aware of a soft nudging against her cheek, a loud purr in her ear and opened her eyes to find the cat perched elegantly on the bed beside her. It opened its mouth and made a pathetic, croaky meow and reached forward again to butt its head against her. Helen pushed up on her elbows, Jason's arm stretching across her waist and his head buried against her hair as it curled wildly across the pillows. Jason shifted as she sat up, sniffing and rolling onto his back. The cat padded across her legs and she pressed her fingers in the soft fur behind its ears.
"Ah, cat..." Jason groused as it stepped heavily onto his stomach and walked across his torso, wincing as soft paws pressed against the bruise on his chest. The cat meowed more purposefully and Jason rubbed its head between his palms as he sat up. "Alright, alright," he told it, sliding a hand under its stomach and lifting it haphazardly to the floor. "Good morning," he said, leaning to one side and pressing his nose against Helen's bare shoulder, smiling at her as he turned and dropped his feet to the floor.
"Afternoon," Helen replied with a mild grin, tipping her chin towards the clock beside the bed. He chuffed and took a couple of wobbly steps forward. The cat jogged happily towards the door, tail erect and stopped to look back at Jason as he hopped a couple of steps, bending his knee up to pull up his jeans Helen chuckled and he turned to her with a mock glare.
"You want some breakfast?" he croaked, his voice rough with sleep and Helen's stomach growled in response. She shrugged a shoulder and slipped out of the bed, wrapping the blanket around her as she followed him down the stairs.
Helen peered round the doorway into the kitchen to see the cat sitting elegantly on the floor beside Jason, her eyes falling to his bare backside as he spooned cat food into a dish. "There, that should keep you happy for a while, you little bastard," he told the creature, stroking its ears for a second before straightening up. He turned and met Helen's amused stare. "What? You don't talk to your animals?" Helen furrowed her brow thoughtfully, pursing her lips as she tilted her head to one side.
Jason shook his head and raised his hand. "No, don't answer that," he said before she could reply and smiled at her playfully as he crossed the room and opened the fridge. "I don't have have much in," he explained as she shuffled across the floor towards him, the blanket catching around her feet. "Eggs?" he asked, pulling out box and hooking a carton of milk in his index finger. Helen stepped into the circle of his arms as he turned around and he wrapped them around her as she kissed him.
They staggered back a few steps and Helen hummed against his mouth, chuckling as Jason tripped on the blanket and pressed her against the counter. She pulled back and smiled at him, placing her palms against his chest when he chased her with his lips, craning his neck down to reach her and squeezing her tightly. "Feed me first," she protested, squirming in his embrace and he laughed, a low rumbling sound that went straight to her crotch and made her shiver.
"Alright," he conceded with a lazy smile and released her to pad barefoot across the kitchen to the stove. Helen admired his body as he bent over to pull a pan out of the cupboard, the muscles in his back flexing appealingly as he straightened up again. She watched for few moments as he dropped some oil into the pan before turning to gaze out of the window at the garden beyond. She turned and shuffled forward, the gentle hiss and crackle of frying eggs filling her ears and she exhaled slowly, peering through the glass with lazy eyes.
"Maybe you could make some toast?" Jason told her idly and she turned to find him leaning with his hip against the cooker, the spatula tapping lightly against his bicep. Helen smiled and shuffled closer and his eyes dropped to the knot on the front of the sheet around her body as she leant forward to drop two slices of bread into the toaster. Helen reached up on tip toes and pressed a playful kiss to his lips, rubbing the tip of her nose against his. The spatula fell to the floor with a clatter as Jason shoved her up on the counter and spread her legs, the back of her head knocking against the cupboard as his tongue delved between her thighs. A spot of fat spat hotly out of the pan and stung her on the hip as the eggs sizzled, forgotten on the stove.
After becoming intimately familiar with the swirling pattern on the carpet as Jason ground into her from behind, Helen sat on his lap on the floor eating toast as the eggs sat untouched in the pan, their edges brown and crisp like burnt plastic. She dropped head back against his shoulder while he idly fondled her breasts and let out a long sigh as Jason hummed lazily into her ear.
"You. Are. Gorgeous," he told her, punctuating each word with a kiss to her neck. She squirmed in his arms and she smiled against the crust of bread between her lips. "You must get told that all the time." Helen didn't answer, just turned her head away and stroked up and down his forearms, the coarse hair on his skin tickling her palm. "Hmm?" Jason said gently, reaching up and cupping her cheek and turning her head back to look at her face. Helen's lips curved up at the edges and she peered at him through lazy, slitted eyes, worrying the edge of the bread against her lips with a cheeky smile.
"You're not so bad yourself," she grumbled, playfully jerking his chin from side to side, dragging her fingers into his beard and rubbing them across the corners of his lips as she crunched on the last mouthful of bread. Jason bared his teeth and nipped at her fingertips.
"Let's just stay right here, all day," he said craning his neck and pressing her head closer, slanting his lips over her mouth. Helen laughed and squirmed in his embrace, chuckling as she tried to brush the crumbs away from her mouth against his insistent kiss. She turned in his lap and held his head in her hands, kissing him hungrily and as his hands slid down to squeeze at her ass her phone began to vibrate loudly on the countertop across the room. Jason pouted his lips as she made to stand, so she let the round swell of her backside brush tauntingly in his face as she rose. He growled and squeezed her cheeks as she stepped away, grinning from ear to hear as she picked up her phone.
"Henry!" she exclaimed as she put it to her ear, leaning back against the counter to watch as Jason pulled himself to his feet and jabbed at the ruined eggs on the stove. He crossed to the bin and the eggs dropped into the bag with a splat. "Yes, alright. Hmmm. No actually perhaps it's better if I meet you at the hotel. Oh, I see," Helen chattered to the voice at the other end of the line and turned her head to peer into the front room at the sound of a heavy knocking on the door.
Jason paused for a moment and gave her a concerned look which she returned with a wide eyed quirk of her brow. He licked his lips and cleared his throat before stepping out of the kitchen towards it.
"Alright, well...I'm at..." Helen turned to look around for some evidence to her location, stooping to pull the sheet around her bare form there was another more insistent knock on the door. "Thirteen oh eight Burnt Oak Drive," she read from a utility bill stuck behind the fruit bowl. "Okay, uh huh" she replied as Henry babbled down the phone, quietly padding into the front room. Through the slats of the blinds across the window she could just make out the black and white of a police car parked on the street in front of the house. "Bollocks," she said quietly, the soft murmuring of voices wafting through the closed door. "Oh, no, not you Henry darling. It's just...actually, Henry, if you wouldn't mind I have a better idea..."
Jason smiled anxiously, rubbing his palm across his bare chest and squashing his hand under his armpit in an attempt to obscure the enormous bruise on his torso. Two cops, a thin one and a slightly overweight one were silhouetted by the bright sun behind and Jason squinted, trying to concentrate as they spoke.
"Mr Treesee?" the thin cop said in a grim tone.
"Ah, Tracey, it's pronounced Tracey," Jason replied with a nervous smile. "Can I er, help you?"
He could not help noticing as they both lowered the gazes, their eyes flicking from the blue shape on his chest before glancing back at each other.
"Mr Treesee do you own a nineteen sixty Seven Ford Mustang color dark green registration D H D 2..." Fat Cop intoned in a flat voice, a sour look on his face as he read from a pad in his hand .
"Ah, yes, yes, that's my car," Jason said forcing a particularly cheerful grin. "Has something happened?"he asked, clearing his throat a little.
"Ah Mr Treesee, there was an incident early this morning at the railway crossing on Fitzgerald Street..." Fat Cop began to explain, flipping the pad shut and stowing it in his breast pocket.
"Oh yeah?" Jason said, crossing his arms tightly and shifting from foot to foot.
"Sir it seems your car was parked across the crossing when a train came along and..."
Jason raised his brows and tried to look surprised as the cop spoke, ignoring the itch on the side of his head where the band aid was peeling away.
"...well sir, as you can imagine there was quite a lot of damage."
"Sheesh! Oh my...ah...god!" Jason exclaimed, sucking his lower lip into his mouth. "Is...ah...was anybody hurt?"
"No sir," Thin Cop answered dourly as Fat Cop craned his neck around the door to peer inside the house.
"Sir, do you have any idea how your vehicle came to be parked across the train tracks?" Thin Cop asked, digging his fingers into his belt and straightening up to fix Jason with a stern look.
"Ah...oh right, yeah..." Jason began, his eyes wide as he chewed his lip for a moment. "Yeah...I ah...was driving...home!" he explained in what he hoped was a pleasant tone only to be met with a stoney glare from the two cops on his porch. "I was ah...driving home...late last night and I ah...we broke down!" Jason lifted his chin, looking from one to the other.
"You broke down?" Fat cop repeated flatly. Jason pursed his lips and nodded.
"Hmm mmm, that's right. We broke down...on Fitzgerald Street...you know that hill!" he uttered breathily in a playful tone. "And so...we left car and walked home. I was gonna come back today and ah...pick it up."
"We?" Fat Cop asked, quirking a brow. Jason turned to him and stared at him blankly for a minute.
"Yesss," Jason replied. "My ah...companion...and I."
"And may with speak with your...companion? Sir?" Thin cop asked insistently. Jason swallowed and jerked his head around birdlike for a second before plastering a cheesy grin across his face and taking a step back.
"Sure...ah this way," he said, reaching to turn the handle of the door to the front room of the house. Behind him the two cops exchanged a look before stepping inside.
Jason entered the lounge ahead of them and grabbed his t shirt from where it hung over the back of a chair and pulled it over his head. He stared at the white wood of the door that separated the two rooms and hoped that Helen had had the good sense to move her gun from the counter. As he turned to rap gently on the door he noticed her clothes were missing from the heater on the wall.
"Ah, Helen, honey," he called and chuffed in mock irritation as the two cops stared at him unamused. "Sweetheart, we have a visitors. Two gentleman from the police are here about the ca-ar," he said in a sing song voice to the door. "She's ah...probably getting dressed," he explained with a toothy grin. "We had...a late breakfast." Jason was smiling so hard his jaw was starting to ache.
The two cops stood watching him stone faced. The clock on the wall ticked loudly and Jason coughed before turning back to the door and knocking firmly. "Helen!" he said in a loud voice and the two cops exchanged a look as he turned his back on them to open the door a crack and peer into the kitchen for a moment before he opened it wide abruptly and stepped inside.
Jason's brows shot up as he entered, stooping to pick the bedsheet from where it lay in a crumpled heap on the floor and looked up to see Sweep sitting in the open back door aggressively cleaning her rear end. "Son of a bitch!" he exclaimed as he straightened up and took a couple of brisk steps towards it. "Helen?" he shouted as he reached the doorway. "Hey!" he yelled down the garden at the sight of her retreating figure slipping through the gap in the hedge followed by the sound of the gate clattering loudly shut behind her.
"Unbelievable!" he huffed and instinctively set off at a sprint after her, jumping over the cat who startled and turned around in quick circles before skittering up the fence in terror as the two cops came bursting out onto the porch in pursuit.
"HELEN!" Jason bawled as he exited the gate onto the muddy track behind the house to see her running at full speed up the hill towards a black van that waited at the top. "HELEN YOU GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!" he screeched at the top of his lungs, his bare feet splashing in the muddy depressions that littered the ground. Helen reached the van and heaved the sliding door open, climbing inside and turning to look down the path behind her as the engine revved. She wore a look of contrition and gave a brief shrug of her shoulders before the van pulled away, its tires squealing loudly in the mud before it disappeared around the corner.
Jason came to a staggering halt and smacked his palms against his bald head, wincing slightly as he knocked the band aid askew, a thin trail of blood trickling hotly down the side of his face. He started in surprise as something hard impacted him from behind, a loud "Oof!" of breath escaping his lungs as his face impacted with a wet pool of mud. Jason groaned in discomfort as the cop straddled his back and twisted his arms behind him, bellowing loudly in his ear but he could have been saying anything because at that moment the only thing Jason could think of was how he was absolutely, positively going to kill Helen Magnus.